A Summer of Sins
by Emera-Rene
Summary: Renowned best-selling author, Lucas Scott is moving to New York to extend his creative abilities and write a screenplay. He's drawn into the tantalizing world of the young, rich and beautiful, but is this the life he really wants? AU LP
1. New York, New York

Brooke let out a disgruntled huff as she looked at the many beautiful faces staring up at her. She'd got the frustrating task of choosing the models for her up and coming summer line and was finding it near impossible to choose a group of girls. She hated that this industry advertised stick thin women, she was an eager supporter of trying to obliterate zero as a size but when it came down to signing some models, she needed the best and most experienced and none of the best seemed fitting with her idyllic vision.

'Brooke, a Mr Scott's here'

Brooke smiled. 'Send him in Millie' The brunette gladly abandoned the collection of headshots as a Mr Scott walked into her large office.

'Luke'

'Hey you' He greeted fondly.

She crossed the room, welcoming his opened arms. 'It's so good to see you' She exhaled.

'It's been too long'

It had been precisely a year since they'd seen each other. They'd both gone to the same high school. They'd been childhood sweethearts but when school ended so had their relationship. It had been anticipated for sometime. They loved each other. They just weren't in love with each other and that realisation had come to them on their night of graduation. It wasn't a horrible break up. It was welcomed and they stayed close friends. Even though she'd moved her life to the big apple, she still ventured back to her small home town of Tree Hill for every thanks giving and Christmas and spent it with her best friends. With her family.

'I can't believe you're really doing this' Brooke pulled back from the hug and clapped her hands together excitedly.

'Really doing it' He laughed, jangling his door keys in front of her. 'It's official, I'm now a resident of New York' He announced.

The move had been difficult and he'd been indecisive. He'd left his family behind and he didn't know how he was going to cope with being away from them. He knew they all understood. He'd spent the last few years flying back and forth when he had to promote a forthcoming book, and now his first published work was being put on the big screen. He was simply tired of the travelling. It just made sense to split his time. He'd spend half the year in New York and half the year back home.

'You don't know how happy I am to have a friend here'

Lucas rolled his eyes as he snooped around her sleek office. 'You have friends here Brooke'

'Not my Broody' She taunted and he chuckled, inspecting the realms of photos splayed messily across the glass table.

'What's these for?'

'Urgh' Brooke groaned dramatically, joining him. 'My new line, I've got the tedious tasks of choosing models'

'Tedious?' Lucas scoffed with a smirk, his eyes scanning the photos. 'You want to swap jobs?'

She nudged her hip against him, frowning with a contradicting smile.

'Hey I'm single, I'm allowed'

She crossed her arms and shook her head with a laugh. 'Hales has told me you've become quite the womaniser' Brooke accused with a hint of amusement. 'I didn't think it could possibly be true' She teased. 'Not Lucas Scott, my infamously polite gentlemanly friend'

'Womaniser?' Lucas laughed incredulously. 'I have a few one night stands and I'm suddenly a womaniser? I'm only human' He claimed defensively.

'I'm just teasing babe' She rested her hand on his back gently. 'So, seriously who would you choose?'

'So you want my expertise advise now?'

'Of course' She leant on him as he got a closer look.

'Okay, well, this one, this one and this one' He declared, pointing to the respective images while Brooke nodded approvingly. 'And definitely this one' He tapped his finger enthusiastically on one particular image and Brooke frowned.

'Seriously? Peyton fucking Wolf?'

'She's so hot'

'And so fucked up' Brooke dismissed.

'Oh come on' Lucas whined childishly, flipping through a pile of photos of the implicated girl, halting on a full body shot. 'When she's got legs to die for like that you can deal with the shit that comes with her' He swallowed thickly before wavering the picture at Brooke.

'I've worked with her before, she's a nightmare, a total bitch. Quite frankly I don't know why people keep using her-'

'Because she looks like that' Lucas exclaimed, thrusting the photograph back in her face.

Brooke shook her head. 'I can't have someone like that representing my company'

'She's always in the tabloids- any publicity is good publicity'

'Lucas she's Mick Wolf's daughter- she grew up on the road, she has a mother that's completely fucked up-'

'So you're judging her by her parents?' He interrupted touchily. If anyone had dealt with people judging you by your parents it was Lucas Scott.

'No!' Brooke groaned. 'No of course not, it's just it's no wonder she's mucked up. She's been modelling since she was fifteen, that's ridiculously young and the girl's seriously underweight-'

'Maybe she's naturally that way' He suggested, unable to tear his gaze from Peyton Wolf's face.

'I know an eating disorder when I see one Lucas'

'Oh come on' He pouted. 'Please?'

'What're you going to do? You seriously think if I have her working for me, you're going to be able to sweep her off her feet?' Brooke proposed with a laugh. 'This is Peyton Wolf, Lucas. The girl that supposedly slept with the editor of vogue when she was just seventeen just so he'd get her on the cover'

'Who said anything about wanting a relationship with her?'

'So you just want to fuck her?' Brooke asked bluntly.

He smirked wolfishly.

'God, Hales was right, you are a playboy'

He shrugged indifferently.

'Fine. But if I do this, you can do me a favour' She challenged.

'Anything for my favourite girl'

'Anything to lay Peyton Wolf don't you mean' She muttered.

He raised his brow expectantly.

'A date with Julian Baker' She elaborated, avoiding his eyes.

'As in the movie producer? The movie producer that's producing the film of my book, the movie producer I'm writing a screenplay for?'

She nodded curtly.

'Brooke' He groaned. 'Seriously?'

'What?'

'What if you actually get in a relationship with him and then split up, it's just going to make my life really, really difficult'

'Fine' She snatched the photos that were still firmly in his hand. 'No date, No Peyton Wolf' She announced simply, turning her back to him.

'Okay, okay' He relented instantly. 'I'll get you a date with Julian Baker'

She grinned smugly and turned around with a squeal, stuffing the selection of images in his pocket and patting his cheek. 'You've got yourself a deal then Lucas Scott'


	2. The Meeting

**A/N** Wow, I wasn't expecting such a great response, Thank you guys. I've had this idea floating around in my head for far too long now and it's half term here so I couldn't not start this! I hope you all enjoy it, it's a little different to my previous story, a little on the happier side which I'm finding very refreshing!

With each passing second, Brooke Davis' patience was dwindling, along with her admiration for the one and only Lucas Scott. Her foul mood was all his fault.

Her office phone rung and she sprung across the desk, pressing the speak button. 'Yes?'

'Brooke Miss Wolf's here'

'Well, send her in' Brooke attempted not to be short with the shy assistant but it didn't really work, she wasn't in the most sensitive of moods.

'R-right' Millie's voice stuttered down the line and Brooke frowned, mentally kicking herself. Millie was wonderful and she put up with Brooke rain or shine and the fashion designer really was appreciative of her, she'd apologise later.

The door opened and Millie instantly left Brooke's mind and Peyton Wolf filled it.

'Hi' The model greeted with a smile, an innocent smile that Brooke wouldn't be deceived by.

She was wearing faded jeans, boots and a rolling stones t and her hair was scraped back messily, effortlessly playing the part of rock chick and Brooke hated how she still managed to look so cool and put together, even though she was pretty certain no thought had gone into the outfit what so ever.

'Hello' Brooke smiled back through gritted teeth, using every last ounce of self will to be polite.

Peyton was nearly an hour late. Brooke didn't have time for this and if it hadn't been for Lucas Scott, she would have been done waiting forty five minutes ago.

'Thank you for coming'

'I'm sorry I'm so late' The blonde sat down, 'I just flew in from Paris and there were major delays'

Brooke's eyes narrowed sceptically but she shook her head all the same. 'Don't worry'

'No, really, I hate it when I'm late'

Brooke disregarded her sincere tone, reminding herself that this was the same girl that threw up all over her prize couture piece two seasons ago. 'Why don't we just get straight to it'

'Right' Peyton agreed offhandedly, quick to catch on to Brooke's aloof attitude. The designer had already passed judgment on her, that was clear.

'You know why you're here right?'

'My agent said you were looking for someone to be the face of Clothes over Bros and to model in the upcoming collection?'

'Right.'

'To be honest I don't really get why you want me' Peyton admitted.

'You an me both' Brooke mumbled inaudibly.

'After what happened last year, I've kind of got the impression that you don't really like me' Peyton said candidly.

Brooke let out a frustrated sigh. 'Look the fact of the matter is I don't have to like you. I don't care what you do in your spare time, all I ask is that you turn up _on_ _time_ and _not_ _puke_ all over my clothes and then we'll get along just fine okay?'

'You want me?' Peyton clarified, clearly not disheartened by the brunettes avid dislike for her. She was use to people not liking her. The second she was old enough to talk she'd been wary of peoples aversion to her. She was beautiful and she was the daughter of a famous rock star, that was reason enough.

'Apparently so' Brooke exhaled, sliding a piece of paper across the desk.

Peyton stared at the contract that was awaiting just one detail, her signature.

Seemingly not giving it another thought, Brooke watched the blonde haired beauty help herself to a pen and scrawl her name in big loopy writing.

'Wonderful' Brooke cheered artificially.

'We're totally going to be bff's' Peyton sung sarcastically, her voice a couple of notches higher than usual and accompanying a fake smile that left Brooke a little scared over her reckless decision.

A quiet afraid laugh past her lips and she abruptly stood up, trying to acquire her usual self confidence.

Peyton smiled genuinely as she watched her new boss squirm in her jimmy choos. 'I'll need you at The Clothes over Bros Party tomorrow night'

'Right'

'And I don't-'

'Want me to bring a date?' Peyton finished tiredly. 'Can't have me showing up the poor single Brooke Davis can we?'

Brooke's jaw stiffened noticeably. 'I would rather tomorrow night was about the clothes and not who you're currently sleeping with'

'Sure. But if you do need a date, I can make a few calls, I'm sure there's someone' Peyton rose from her chair, sliding her hand bag over her shoulder. 'Are we done here?'

Brooke didn't verbally respond, she flung her hand in the direction of the door and Peyton walked out, her perfect legs taunting the shorter brunette with every step.

* * *

'I hate you' Brooke glowered as soon as Lucas' door opened.

'Whoa, what did I do?'

She pushed past him, her level of stress heightening when she took in the unfurnished apartment and array of boxes. 'Lucas you've been here a week and you haven't unpacked?' She threw her arms out in distress.

He walked over to the fridge, shrugging a shoulder as he got out two beers. 'I don't like unpacking'

'Who does?' She exclaimed.

'You do'

'Uh uh, not happening'

'Oh come on, you could at least help' He pushed a beer into her hand and she automatically took a swig, her face softening as she swallowed.

'That's good'

'So good that you wanna help?'

Her glower returned with full force. 'After my day, I'm the last person you should be asking for favours, I'm still trying to recover from your last freaking favour'

'You met her?' Lucas asked way too excitedly causing Brooke to turn her nose up in disdain.

'If I have any, and I mean any issues with her, I swear to god you're going to be the one to sort it'

'I have no problem with that' He took a gulp of his beer, smirking devilishly.

'I think you're going to be in for a surprise Luke' Brooke smiled, she was kind of looking forward to the moment when he met the model, she could foresee what was going to happen. Peyton Wolf wasn't a girl to be messed with and Brooke had no doubt that she'd brush him off within seconds.

'We'll see'

* * *

'I told her to walk the room' Brooke chastised. She was in serious business mode and Lucas was a little scared of business mode Brooke. Being back in Tree Hill, he'd never had much opportunity to go to any of her work events, he was quickly realising that, that was something he should be thankful for.

'It doesn't look like she needs to' Lucas observed. 'The room comes to her' From the moment she'd made her entrance, everyone had been entranced by her presence.

Brooke rolled her eyes. Lucas had been staring shamelessly at the famous girl since he'd arrived, just like most other people in the room.

He couldn't help but think that his friend wasn't willing to give the poor girl a chance, that she was picking fault with anything and everything she did. He couldn't physically tear his eyes away from her. She was wearing what Brooke had instructed her to wear, one of the fashion designers latest pieces. It was a black, knee length puff ball dress, off the shoulder and her hair was up accompanied by an overly sized black bow pinned to the side of her head.

'That's besides the point' Brooke contended. 'The point is I asked her to do something, I asked her oh so sweetly to do something and she's point blank ignored me. She's meant to be working, not sitting at the bar drinking martini's' She ranted.

Lucas nearly told her to chill out but bit his tongue, instead attempting to change the subject. 'You wanna know something?'

'What?'

He turned to face her directly, his stare leaving the captivating blonde for the first time. 'You look real pretty tonight Brooke Davis' He complemented. She did, dressed in a midnight blue sophisticated dress that accentuated all her wonderful attributes.

As anticipated she gave him that shy smile and shoved him playfully.

He laughed. 'And you want to know who else thinks so?'

'What?' She looked at him confused and then he pointed not so subtly to the opposite end of the bar. She followed his finger and her eyes widened at the pair of dark eyes staring right back at her. Her head swivelled back round. 'Luke seriously! Julian?'

He chuckled again.

'Oh my god. You could have warned me'

'I keep my word Miss Davis'

'This is hardly what I call a date' She argued.

'No' Lucas nodded in agreement. 'That's Saturday'

Brooke's eyes sparkled. 'Really?'

'Yeah and I didn't invite him hear tonight, he invited himself' Lucas made sure to inform her. 'I think he's really interested, especially considering he hasn't taken his eyes off you for the last half hour, so why don't you go over there and stop bitching to me about Peyton Wolf'

Brooke bit her lip and consciously ran her hand down her dress.

'You look beautiful' He assured her. 'Go'

'Okay, okay' She nodded. 'But you keep your eye on her' She waggled her finger at him seriously for a moment and then she was smiling giddily and her high heals were carrying her away from him.

Lucas shook his head in amusement and then his head was quickly returning to Peyton. She was still sat, elegantly perched on a bar stool, her finger trailing round the rim of her glass. Every now and then someone would approach her and she'd smile sweetly and laugh and talk and then they'd move on and yet another admirer would try their luck.

When the next person left her, he was quick to be the man to move in. He walked over to the bar and stood in the empty space beside her.

He didn't introduce himself, in fact he didn't acknowledge her in the slightest and he was very much aware that he was perhaps the first person not to. Instead he ordered himself a drink and tapped his hand against the wooden bar, his eyes skipping inquisitively round the famous cocktail lounge while all the while, concerned with one thing only, the girls presence next to him.

'Who are you?' Peyton finally asked, clearly bothered by his neglecting company.

Her voice radiated through him and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

He tilted his head suavely, acting as though he hadn't noticed her. 'Are you talking to me?' He was instantly struck by how very, very green her irises really were. They were absolutely striking and if he hadn't been mesmerised by her yet, he definitely was now.

Those eyes narrowed in annoyance. 'You've been staring at me since you got here' She noted boldly.

He snorted. 'Have I?'

'Yes' She took a sip of her martini and rubbed her ruby painted lips together and he wanted nothing more than to drag her to a secluded corner so he could have his way with her. He was certain he'd never been more attracted to anyone before. She had him completely intrigued.

'Who're you?' She regarded him warily.

'Lucas Scott' He husked. 'And who're you?'

Her eyebrows raised indignantly and he loved that he was the first and only person throughout the night that had her perfected smile faltering.

She crossed her legs and her dress rode up a little and Lucas let his stare unabashedly fall to the creamy expanse of skin.

'You know who I am' She drawled confidently.

'And how can you be so sure?'

He expected her to tell him that _everyone_ knows who she is, but she didn't.

'You were talking to Brooke Davis, who has spent the entirety of the evening bitching about me to anyone and everyone' She declared simply, a little entertained smirk forming at her mouth.

He chuckled, genuinely amused by her awareness. She definitely wasn't a dumb oblivious model.

'Well, _Peyton Wolf_, has she got a reason to be complaining about you?'

'I guess that's just a matter of opinion' she decided wickedly. 'So what magazine is my feud with Brooke Davis going to be printed in tomorrow?'

'Magazine?'

'Well you're sure not a model' His eyes widened at her tactless remark. 'and you're definitely not a designer' Her gaze raked down him and his attire. 'You're not conceited enough to be an actor. You're a writer or are you in film? A director or a producer?' She proposed.

He sloshed the vodka around in his glass and then raised it to his lips before focusing on her again. 'You were right the first time' He admitted, bewildered by her accurate assumption.

'Writer. Right, so, again, which magazine?' She pried exasperatedly.

'Actually I write books. I'm an author' He corrected with a sly smile and a wink that she eagerly ignored.

'Well Lucas Scott. Author' She slid from her barstool, standing a breath away from him.

His heart raced furiously.

'In future if you could keep your eyes up here' She gestured to her face. 'And not my ass, it would be greatly appreciated' And without another word she turned and his eyes fell instantly to her mentioned ass and he was smirking wildly. He didn't see her look back over her shoulder at him, he didn't see her own amused smirk and then she was gone, vanished into a sea of people.


	3. The Photoshoot

'That's gorgeous darling' The man behind the camera droned as Peyton alternated between poses. She was wearing black boots, a very short, high waisted, layered tutu like skirt, accompanied by a dark red silk top. Her hair was swooped up into a loose side bun and her eyes were painted dark with those complementing red lips.

'No, no, no' Brooke's distinctive voice suddenly reigned over the loud music that was filtering through the studio.

'What is it darling?' The photographer halted in his work.

'I'm not, this isn't, I'm not happy with this look' She broad-casted her frustration.

The music was turned off instantly and Peyton sighed loudly.

'Is it the backdrop?' Sky Ryans, Brooke's favourite photographer and loyal friend questioned.

'No, no, the backdrop's great'

'It's me' Peyton groaned tiresomely, stepping off of the white block.

Brooke ignored her remark. 'Can you just give me a minute to fix it?'

'Sure honey, take as long as you need' Sky appeased.

Brooke smiled thankfully at him and then approached the long faced model with not so much as a word and began adjusting her outfit.

'Hi Peyton, how are you? Did you enjoy last night? I was so honoured to have you there, I'm sorry I'm such a bitch' Peyton mocked. Brooke didn't pander to her provocation, instead she tugged forcefully at the short, layered skirt. 'What are you doing?' She stumbled, 'More skin equals more business' She recited as Brooke skillfully unpicked a few stitches and a layer of material floated over her thighs.

Brooke stood up straight, hands on hips as she contemplated the outfit again. 'It may come as a surprise to you but wearing nothing doesn't always equal sales. Letting them wonder what's beneath the clothes is far more endearing'

Peyton blinked. Never in her seven years of modeling had she been encouraged to cover up. She couldn't account for all the times she'd been urged to hitch a dress up a little more or take a layer off.

'Peyton?'

'Huh?' She shook herself from her daze.

'Can you put these on instead of the boots' Brooke held out some red patent heels and she was surprised to watch Peyton just nod with no complaints and with something that imitated respect in her eyes.

'These are pretty awesome' The blonde murmured to herself, pulling the straps round her ankles.

Brooke's nose twitched as she considered Peyton's compliment but she didn't acknowledge her words, she very much doubted that the praise was sincere.

'Would you like me to change anything else? My hair? My face maybe?' Peyton suggested, her sardonic attitude swiftly returning as she got to her feet.

'We'll talk plastic surgery later' Brooke quipped, biting her lip to hide the smile that was daring to show. 'You'll do for now. Sky, she's ready'

Sky pranced back into focus, his hand over his chest 'Oh darling she looks even more divine'

'I know' Brooke agreed softly, joining him in admiring the leggy blonde and her exquisite attire.

'You want me back on the block?' Peyton addressed her boss.

'Yeah, thank you'

The remnants of what looked like a small genuine smile flickered on Peyton's face and the fashionista found herself smiling back. She didn't know what had happened in the last minute but Peyton was suddenly looking at her differently and Brooke wasn't quite sure for the reasoning behind it, but she wasn't about to complain.

The rest of the shoot went surprisingly smoothly. Peyton didn't object or fuss whenever Brooke altered her clothing, she was professional as ever and Brooke was beginning to think that perhaps she wasn't the spoilt brat that she'd dubbed her as, that perhaps Lucas was right, perhaps there was another side to the beauty queen after all.

It was five hours later when they were officially done and everyone was finishing up.

Brooke was looking carefully over a body of impressive contact sheets, the result of a successful photo shoot, when Lucas' presence was bought to her attention.

'Hey pretty girl' He greeted.

'Luke' Brooke kissed his cheek sweetly, silently expressing her gratitude for his matchmaking skills, she really was smitten with Julian Baker. She didn't want to hype herself up too much but after their initial meeting the night before she'd not been able to get the movie producer out of her head. They'd got on instantly and she was secretly hoping he could be the one.

Lucas smiled knowingly at her. 'Good night B Davis?'

She shoved him in response, a slight blush reddening her cheeks. 'Not that I'm not pleased to see you but what are you doing here?'

'Writers block' He divulged. 'Julian wants me to do a scene for Keith's murder' He explained dispiritedly.

'Oh Luke' Her hand ran up and down his arm soothingly, her face twisted with sympathy, she hated that he had to think about something so painful.

'I don't think I can do it' He exhaled a frustrated breath. 'Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. I came to see you to take my mind off it. How's the photosho...' He trailed off as his eyes skipped round the slick studio, their journey coming to an end when they landed on none other than Peyton. He'd be kidding if he said he'd not hoped he'd see her here. She was standing next to a rail of clothes donning a pair of jeans, just a pair of jeans, nothing more. Her back was to him, a very smooth naked back. He swallowed thickly.

'Luke' Brooke wasn't unacquainted with the wild look on his face. She knew that lust fueled gaze and she didn't welcome him giving it to what was essentially her employee at work. She grabbed a magazine from the side, thumping him on the chest and he groaned.

'Ow, what was that for?' He scowled, his infatuated stare quickly returning to Peyton, annoyed to find her now clad in a t-shirt.

'You're such a jerk.' She hit him again. 'She's not a zoo attraction Lucas, she's a human being that deserves to be treated with a little bit of respect, not having some ass like you gawping all over her'

He smiled widely at her protective nature. It was something he'd always admired about her. She clearly didn't like the girl but that didn't stop her from guarding her integrity.

'What?' Brooke called him on his toothy grin.

'You're standing up for Peyton Wolf' He exposed mischievously.

She frowned. 'Just, just keep your eyes off my models when they're getting changed, otherwise I'll have security remove you' She threatened lightly.

'Sorry Miss Davis, it won't happen again' He cooed deviously.

She rolled her eyes because she didn't believe him one little bit.

'How'd the photo-shoot go then?' He asked distractedly, peering over the table of photos. Every one was amazing. Peyton was dressed in several different outfits and each one, along with the seductive poses she was giving, had his mouth literally watering. He couldn't get over those legs, those amazing legs that just seemed to go on forever. 'These are great' He muttered dumbly.

'Yeah it went really well actually' Brooke disclosed, fingering the shiny mag still clutched in her hands.

'Wow' Lucas chuckled. 'The evil witch performed dutifully?' He joked.

'She was pretty... great' Brooke reluctantly conceded, her gaze absorbing the image on the front cover of the cheap magazine, her eyes widening dramatically as the subject suddenly registered in her hazel orbs.

'I'm going now' Peyton's voice announced, her heels sounding as she approached them, paying absolutely no mind to the strikingly familiar face of Lucas Scott. The Author.

'What's this?' Brooke's calm, at ease face had vanished in the last forty seconds to be replaced with a furious glare.

'That's a picture of me' Peyton informed her cleverly.

'I can see that' Brooke growled. 'Why is there a star covering your, your'

Peyton raised her brow expectantly.

'Lady business' Brooke muttered quietly causing Peyton to laugh and Lucas to bite down on his quivering lip.

'Because I wasn't wearing any underwear' Peyton explained simply, kinking her brow at an astounded Lucas. He swallowed thickly, averting his eyes to the condemned picture. It was from the previous night at the Clothes over Bros party and from what Lucas could deduce, it had been taken at the end of the evening. She was getting in a car, her face angled at the man already seated beside her. Lucas recognised him as Felix Taggaro, notorious heir to the famous multi-million dollar law firm. He already hated the arrogant successor. He'd had everything handed to him and Lucas was pretty certain he'd not done a single days hard work in his life, that, put together with the fact that a couple of years back Brooke had got into a messy relationship with the conceited jerk, gave Lucas great reason to dislike the guy.

'Why the hell not?' Brooke snapped irately, flapping the glossy paper with rage.

Lucas took a little step back. From past experience he knew you didn't want to meet the wrath that was Brooke Davis when she was pissed off. Peyton however, didn't seem the slightest bit phased by the severe line that Brooke's brow had now formed.

'You were very precise on what I wear, I did exactly as you said' Peyton retorted immaturely.

'I didn't think I had to instruct you to put on your freaking underwear' Brooke screeched. 'Lucas tell her'

Both girls were suddenly looking at him and he shifted uncomfortably under their expectant gazes. He was surprised, he knew he really had no reason to be for he couldn't remotely say he knew the girl. He'd met her and talked to her for all of fifteen minutes, but he always liked to think he was a good judge of character. He'd rendered her as terribly misjudged. She was beautiful yes, but she was far more than just looks, she was smart and witty and wonderfully sarcastic and endearing. But maybe it was just attraction. Maybe his desire for Peyton Wolf had persuaded him that she was misread by the public but maybe she wasn't, maybe the paparazzi' portrayal of the model was correct. 'I-I, well, I'd say it's a little inappropriate.' He supported Brooke. He totally got why she was furious but that didn't mean he welcomed the hateful look the model was now giving him.

'A little?' Brooke barked. 'A lot inappropriate' She corrected.

'Can we have this conversation later, I've got a lunch date' Peyton dispelled abruptly.

She didn't have a lunch date. She just didn't want this conversation. She'd done nothing wrong. In fact she was completely innocent in every sense. She _had_ been wearing underwear. She knew that if that yellow star wasn't on the paper, you'd see a black strip of panties but it made no difference. Fact and fiction were the same thing when it came to being Peyton Wolf. When she refrained from doing anything outrageous, the media took her exploitations into their own hands. When she didn't present them with a juicy story, they forged one instead and she'd spent countless times releasing statements to rectify such fabrications to know that her words could do nothing in her defense. People would believe what they wanted to believe. The damage to her reputation had already been done long ago. She didn't think she was an angel by any means, there were many things she'd done in the past and present that she was far from proud of. But there had come a time, when she'd been poked and prodded at so frequently by the media, that she herself had started to believe the things they said and play up to the part.

'No, no we can't talk about this later'

Peyton let out a disgruntled breath. 'What's the big deal?'

'The big deal is that whether you like it or not, you've signed a contract with this company. You represent this company. Whatever you do or say is ultimately linked to this company. When you look bad, it makes me look bad' Brooke ranted.

'I think you're the only person that thinks I look bad in that picture' Peyton sniggered.

Brooke groaned in utter despair. 'It's beyond me how you think it could possibly look good to portray yourself as a slut' She lashed out. 'And Felix Taggaro? Seriously? Urgh, the press are going to have a field day with this'

'You know what? You should be thanking me. Regardless of what you think, I've done you a huge favour. In a weeks time you're launching your summer line and I can guarantee that you will get ten times more coverage now that this is out there'

It didn't matter that, that was probably true. Brooke was all about principle, not using some cheap exhibition to gain publicity.

'I have a lunch date' Peyton adjusted her bag on her shoulder and then she was walking away.

Lucas eyed his friend warily, watching her clench her fists, he really wouldn't have been at all surprised if she started breathing fire. She was beyond enraged.

'Brooke-'

'Don't speak Lucas. This is your fault' She accused.

'I'm sorry' He apologised softly because he really did feel responsible, he had, after all coaxed her to use Peyton Wolf as the face of Clothes over Bros.

She shook her head with a soft whimper of annoyance, shoving the crumpled paper into his unprepared hands. 'Still want to fuck princess Peyton?'

He looked down at the image. The worst thing was, he really, really did. He'd never wanted anything more.


	4. The Fashion Show

Backstage was manic as usual. There was a combination of models, make up artists, hair stylists and assistants each trying to put their stamp on what was already a somewhat spectacular evening. That didn't mean everything was going completely smoothly, stress levels were running high and everyone was rushing around, getting under each others feet.

Peyton was calm. She'd done this enough times to know exactly how it worked and she was the star of the show, which meant that everyone fawned over her.

The other models eyed her with detest, something she was more than use to. She was known as the ice queen among them, they all envied her and made sure that she know it. But she had a thick layer of skin on her, if she didn't she wouldn't have lasted a second in this industry. It was a dog eat dog world.

Peyton stood up, her eyes had been painted with a mixture of greys that showed off her green irises and her hair was up in a dramatic twisted knot that emphasised her pronounced cheek bones. She looked every part the model, the only thing that was missing was the dress that Millie was currently taking from it's hanger with most care.

Brooke stood by, eying Peyton in her clothes over bros lingerie. 'I'm glad to see you remembered your underwear today' She smiled falsely and Peyton rolled her eyes.

To say Brooke hadn't been exactly hospitable over the last few days was putting it nicely. The brunette was still seething about the article that had been published nearly a week ago.

'Anything to appease Brooke Davis' Peyton murmured sweetly as Millie helped her step into what was sure to be the star piece of the forthcoming show. The floor length dark red dress was undeniably beautiful and was made to fit her every curve. The strapless corset bodice was ruffled and flared out spectacularly at the waist, into an asymmetrically tiered over skirt that rested on layers of luxurious satin and lead into a sash and corsage of hand made roses.

Peyton had fallen in love with it instantaneously. She didn't always like the clothes she was made to wear but this was something else entirely.

Brooke slid the separate sleeves up her slender arms and fastened the red bows at her elbows as Millie secured the matching choker round her neck. It was guaranteed to be talked about for years to come.

There was no talking in the fifteen minutes that followed.

Brooke went back out front and Peyton was fussed over some more before she took her place in the final spot of the queuing models.

She was suddenly nervous, though she had no clue why.

The cause of her nerves was seated in a front row seat, courtesy of Brooke.

Lucas had told himself he was here for one thing only, to support his friend but his reasoning was slowly slipping from his mind as he anticipated seeing the blonde appear from backstage and when her figure finally did emerge onto the lit catwalk, time stopped completely.

His heart raced wildly.

His breath hitched in his throat.

His eyes widened, unblinking.

His hands grew clammy.

His mouth turned dry,

His lips parted.

His stomach fluttered.

The girl in red burned into his retinas.

It was safe to say, Lucas Scott was most definitely, unmistakably, categorically bewitched by the undeniable beauty that was Peyton Wolf.

* * *

The after party was held at a night club and was swarmed with people. Lucas was beginning to regret coming. Brooke was far too busy to keep him company and when she had a second she was with Julian anyhow. She had forewarned him that she wouldn't be around but he'd been insistent on coming, with the intent of pursuing none other than Peyton Wolf. She, however had been surrounded by people since the second she'd got off the red carpet outside.

He watched her feign a laugh and was quick decide enough was enough.

He strode over to the group of designers swooning over her and interrupted brazenly. 'Excuse me Miss Wolf can I have a private word'

Her eyes skittered to him and she looked a little befuddled and he wasn't sure if she was going to point blank tell him no, ask him to leave or throw her arms around him.

She did neither of these things.

'Sure, sorry excuse me' She apologised, withdrawing from the unimpressed circle of people. 'What are you doing Mr Scott?' She asked quietly as he weaved them through the mass of people to the bar.

'Saving you' He told her smugly.

She put her hand over her chest. 'My knight in shining armour' She swooned sarcastically, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

There was only one seat free at the bar and she lent on him as she perched herself upon it. She'd changed into something a little more fitting for the nightclub scene. Of course another Brooke Davis design and equally as delectable. It was dark green, short and had Lucas imagining doing most inappropriate things to her.

He ordered them drinks and he let his hand sit upon her forearm when he asked her what she wanted.

'I didn't need saving' She told him when she was settled with a sea breeze.

'Of course you didn't' He was standing close, too close but yet she hadn't told him so.

'You know, I'm starting to think you're stalking me' Peyton kinked her brow up at him.

'Yeah? That's a little conceited don't you think?'

'Or the truth' She shrugged. 'You're an author'

'Yes, we established that last week' He teased.

'What business has an author got being at a fashion show?'

'Maybe I like fashion'

She looked him up and down. She did that a lot and he was pretty certain it wasn't to inspect his attire.

'I don't think that's a possibility' She informed him, with a devilish twinkle in her eye.

'You know you can be a bit of a bitch' And there was something about that, that made him want her even more.

'That's me' She nodded. 'And yet you can't keep away can you?'

'I'd like to meet someone that could'

'There aren't many' She bantered.

It wasn't hard for him to believe that.

'You were so amazing tonight and you looked really fucking amazing, you still do' He told her suddenly, like he couldn't contain it for a second more.

She blushed and he chuckled. 'You know for someone that thinks rather highly of themselves, you don't take compliments very well huh?'

She stared at him for a moment, his words stung more than she'd ever let on. She didn't think highly of herself and it pissed her off that he thought she did. She usually didn't care what anyone thought but she found herself caring a lot when it came to what Lucas Scott thought of her.

'So where's your girlfriend disappeared to?' Peyton asked, smoothly changing the subject.

He wasn't heedless to the wall that had suddenly gone up around her and he wasn't oblivious to the sudden austere look in her eyes.

'Girlfriend?'

'I don't think Brooke Davis will forgive you for forgetting her name'

'Brooke and me?' His blue eyes grew in size and he shook his head vigorously. He really didn't want her misinterpreting his relationship with his friend, they were close, yes and he was protective of her, yes, but he certainly didn't see her as more than a friend. 'We're not, definitely not, we're not a we, we're, we grew up together, we did go out for a while but we're best as friends'

'If that's your story' She shrugged and he wasn't sure if she was completely convinced by his rambled response.

'It is' He said seriously, making her smile coyly. 'What about you? You're not with _Felix Taggero_ tonight?' He said Felix's name through gritted teeth, not bothering to hide his discernible hate for the man or disguise the unbridled jealousy that was quick to darken his blue eyes.

'No, I'm not' She confirmed mysteriously. He didn't know what that meant. Was she with him or not?

She knew he wanted her to elaborate but she was enjoying him squirming in his seat too much and quite frankly it was none of his business whom she was seeing.

So he was forced to pry.

'So, how long have you known Felix?'

'A while' She told him, sipping her drink through her straw.

'How long is a while?'

She rested her elbow on the bar, her head tilted against her hand, giving him a perfect view of her perfectly defined face. 'Longer than a short while and shorter than a long while' She told him cryptically.

He pushed his tongue to the roof of his mouth while she smiled at him seductively. 'And are you sleeping with him?'

Her eyes narrowed but her smile didn't fade. 'Now, I really don't think that's any of your business'

'No?' He challenged. 'See if I'm going to sleep with you I'd like to know who I'm likely to piss off before hand'

She coughed a little on her drink at this and Lucas loved the outraged look that was quick to reflect in her eyes.

She swallowed, recovering quickly. 'And you said I think highly of myself? It's a little conceited to just assume that I'll sleep with you, don't you think?'

He smirked, because she'd not outright told him that that wasn't going to happen. She'd not stood up and declined his company, she was still firmly in her seat.

He boldly let his hand rest against her thigh. 'Sweetheart it's just the truth'

She stood abruptly and he was temporarily confused by her sudden departure and convinced that perhaps he shouldn't have been so crass but then she was turning around, her eyebrows raised expectantly. 'Well, Aren't you coming?'

He smiled suavely. 'Where?'

'To dance'

He was following her in a second and he put his hand at the small of her back but she was soon walking a few paces ahead of him and he didn't like this teasing game she was playing one bit.

He followed her. She was stopped every now and again to be told how wonderful she was but when she finally directed them out of the VIP area they were free from eyes and she looked somewhat content and free.

She slipped her hand into his the moment she was sure they were far enough away from what he classified as her world. This was his world. She was VIP. He technically wasn't, well he wasn't until a few weeks ago when he'd uprooted his life, when he'd stumbled into this one.

The dance floor was rammed and she had no choice but to be pressed completely against him, not that she was complaining. He definitely wasn't complaining, he was certainly reaping the benefits of her slight body against him. He was surprised however when she turned to face him and her arms came round his neck.

He lent closer to her. 'You still didn't answer me' His words tickled her ear.

He felt her smile against his cheek and then she shook her head. She knew what he was referring to.

'What does that mean?' His voice hummed.

'Not that it's any of your concern but I'm just friends with Felix' She spoke loudly so he could hear over the music.

He looked at her skeptically. Felix Taggero didn't have friends that were girls.

But then she was twirling in front of him and he was quick to become distracted with her swaying hips.

It wasn't long at all before his hands were on her and she was dancing promiscuously against him, her back to his chest.

He kissed her neck and she rested her head back against him and he thought that she was perhaps the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

He felt like a teenager again. This all felt so knew and exciting and out of control.

He urged her around because he wanted, no, needed to kiss her.

Her head tilted unaccommodatingly from side to side, not allowing his lips to meet hers and he followed her movements hoping his perseverance would prevail.

Her fingers curled into the lapels of his suit and she shook her head with a demure smirk. 'I don't think so'

He read her lips and held her hips tighter. 'I think so' He told her gruffly.

Her hands laced over his.

'You can't always get what you want'

'I can' His confidence infuriated and charmed her all at once and she let him drag her through the mass of dancing people.

Her head was spinning, because of the few drinks she'd had or because of Lucas Scott she wasn't entirely sure, but she suddenly wanted out of this place.

The flickering array of colours vanished when Lucas eventually found a door. The normal lighting came as a surprise as the glare of white hit their unwelcoming eyes. The thumping music faded somewhat as the door shut behind them.

She didn't have time to adjust though because he had her pressed up against the wall in a mere second.

She gasped and he loved that he was finally in control.

'I've been wanting to do this since the second I saw you'

'Do what?' She rasped, arching her body tauntingly in an attempt to regain some power.

'Kiss you'

'Who says I'm going to let you kiss me?'

His mouth was but a breath away from hers and she swallowed thickly.

'I do' He smirked, his hands holding her against the wall. 'You want me to kiss you' He stated and she really couldn't argue with that and without another word his lips covered hers and it had been so extensively anticipated that she whimpered at the mere touch. He swallowed her moan and wasted no time in slipping his tongue into her warm inviting mouth.

He was certain he'd never felt anything like this when he'd kissed a girl before. She tasted amazing and he couldn't physically stop, he never wanted to stop and he was less than happy when she did eventually stop some moments later, rubbing her lips together.

'Do you want me?' She asked bluntly.

Was that a trick question? He blinked 'I think you already know the answer to that, sweetheart'

She fiddled with his tie, avoiding his passionate stare. 'Take me to your place'

He smirked.

'Yeah?'

She whimpered at the touch of his hands suddenly on the back of her bare thighs.

'Yes' She breathed out and he wanted to just have her then and there, up against the wall.

She pushed against his hard chest though and he grudgingly took a step back, his fingers slipping from beneath her dress but he couldn't resist pressing his lips to hers for one moment more. She murmured in surprise and although he only intended it to be a chaste kiss, it was quick to turn into more.

'Ok enough' She panted, slipping from between him and the wall and she loved that he actually looked physically pained by the offending gap that was now between them. She started walking further down the stark corridor. 'Are you coming?' She looked at him expectantly, walking backwards.

'Isn't it that way' He gestured from the door they'd stumbled through.

'There'll be no paparazzi out this way'

'I thought you liked getting caught on camera?' He smiled, his feet carrying him toward her.

She stopped walking, a steely look quickly forming on her pretty face. 'Let's just get something straight. First of all you don't know me. Second of all, you don't know me. Okay?'

'I don't know you' He repeated effortlessly.

'This is just sex okay?' She told him seriously.

He smirked. 'Darling, that's perfectly fine by me'


	5. The Night Together

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The clock on the mantel shelf was one of the very few items unpacked.

The rest of the apartment was obscured with full cardboard boxes. His personal possessions sat in their depths, concealed in newspaper and bubble wrap, safely hidden away; his life essentially shielded from this new place.

He didn't know why he hadn't unboxed everything.

Yes, he didn't like the prospect of the daunting task and yes, he could be lazy from time to time but he was also known for being somewhat orderly and this disorderly mess had been driving him mad and the lack of furniture meant it wasn't the most comfortable of abodes.

In his heart he knew the reasoning behind his lack of motivation to turn this apartment into his home; he didn't really believe it ever would be his home. His home was in Tree Hill and this had all happened so fast that he was still struggling to realise that he was actually living here, in New York. He was waiting for that day in the near future when Julian would turn around and tell him the film wasn't working and he'd return to the place he called home. It wasn't a surprise, considering he'd always lived in the same place with the same friendly faces. He missed the people that mattered most to him. He missed his mother and sister, he missed his brother and best friend and kid nephew. He missed it all.

He also felt tremendously guilty for leaving. He didn't like to leave his mum. Since his Uncle's death Lucas Scott had changed dramatically and lost touch of what really mattered. Shortly before Keith's murder his severed relationship between him and his father had been somewhat mended, not to say it was fixed. Considering Dan's lack of compassion and unwillingness to partake in his son's young life, it was safe to say that they'd never have that true father, son bond. That and the fact that he was the reason Keith Scott, his only real father figure was now ten feet under ground. The murder had mutilated his world, it had made him question everything and he'd not allowed anyone new into his life or trusted anyone new since that fateful day.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The door burst open and Lucas and Peyton stumbled over the threshold, their lips not parting once.

He navigated them through the maze of boxes but not surprisingly they crashed into a precariously balanced stack, causing the top box to topple with a loud thump onto the hard wood floor.

Both blondes pulled apart.

'Sorry' Lucas breathed. 'I haven't unpacked properly yet' He explained as her eyes made a quick lap of the room.

'It's, it's a nice apartment' She rubbed her swollen lips together.

He nodded, it wasn't too big or too small and he had a great view overlooking central park. 'It will be nice when I get round to decorating'

They'd been so intensely making out but now that they'd stopped there was a sudden awkward air. 'When did you move?'

'A few weeks ago'

'From where?'

'North Carolina'

'You moved states?' Her eyebrows raised. 'That's big'

'Yeah' He agreed. It was big and he really didn't want to talk about him and where he was from because that would ultimately lead to his family. 'Do you, do you want a drink or something?'

'No, no drink' She shook her head, toying with his tie. There was no time for idle chit chat, she'd come here for one thing and one thing only. 'Where's the bedroom?'

'Right' He smiled, slipping his hand over hers and leading her out of the living area and down a hallway. Somewhere between then and his sparse bedroom their mouths found each other again and didn't disconnect. He fumbled with the door handle and as soon as they'd made it into the blue grey room, he had her pushed up against the wall.

It wasn't until he was tugging roughly at the green fitted material that she spoke.

'Lucas' She grabbed his digits fiercely, gasping.

'Sorry, sorry, I, are you ok?' He apologised for his coarse hands.

She caught her breath. 'I'll do it' She pushed his unsettled fingers away. 'It's, it's just Brooke will kill me if anything is wrong with this dress'

He smiled knowingly 'Right'

'What?' She frowned, stepping away from him.

'What?'

'Why're you looking at me like that?'

'You care' He stated. He kind of loved that, he wasn't judgmental and he'd just known that she wasn't the bitchy girl that Brooke had so wrongly declared her as. There was a whole different girl beneath the surface and he had no clue why but he really, really wanted to know that girl. 'You care what Brooke thinks'

'I don't' She argued.

'Yes' He nodded. 'You do'

'I care about the dress, it's a great dress and she spent ages on it'

He swallowed, watching her expertly unclasp all the little fastenings running up her side.

'Yeah' Lucas nodded dumbly as a strip of skin formed from beneath her arm down to her hip but she stopped. Something had caught her eye in an open box at the foot of the bed.

'You have children' Her statement drew him across the room to look over her shoulder. He gently took the frame from her hands and she looked up at him with sudden disgust. He could see the thoughts currently whizzing round her mind. It was easy for her to make assumptions. The word married resonated in her head.

'No, no' He was quick to correct. 'Jamie' He tapped the figure of the little boy. 'Jamie's my nephew and that' His finger affectionately drifted over the outline of the little girl's face. 'That's Lily, my little sister' He shoved the frame face down, back in the box. 'Definitely no children'

'Sorry I just' She shook her head.

'You're not the first to assume that' He kissed the back of her neck, while his hands drifted up her legs and under her dress, hoisting the material up her slender frame. She lent back against him, her eyelids fluttering shut. 'This has to come off' She obliged by lifting her arms above her head and he pulled it gently, most carefully, all the way over her head and then there she was standing before him in nothing but black heels and panties. His eyes raked down the creamy curve of her back and then she turned around, a seductive smirk painting her lips as his jaw dropped.

She edged back toward the bed and kinked an eyebrow. 'Well? What're you waiting for?'

* * *

The insistent ringing disturbed Lucas from his deep sleep. He mumbled into the sheets in protest, it couldn't be morning yet. It couldn't.

It wasn't.

The ringing suddenly stopped and he blinked his sleep filled eyes open.

'Peyton?' He muttered into the darkness, blindly reaching for the lamp on the floor. He finally found the switch and grimaced as a dim glow filled the room, illuminating the girl in his bed. She was sitting upright, her perfect naked back to him and her phone pressed to her ear.

'Hello?' She mumbled tiredly, swinging her legs over the mattress.

Lucas laid his head back on his pillow, straining to get the gist of her conversation.

'It's three am...I know...no, no, don't do that, I'll come...It's okay...no you're not...I'll be there soon' She exhaled loudly through her nose and her shoulders hunched.

'Is everything okay?' He watched her stand hastily, apparently deaf to his question. 'Peyton?'

'What?' She snapped.

'Is everything okay?'

She staggered into her underwear before focusing on him. 'I have to go'

'Don't do that, come back to bed'

'I, I can't' She struggled back into her dress as he dragged himself wearily out of bed.

'Peyton what's wrong? Who was on the phone?' He pulled a t-shirt over his head.

'No one, I just, I need to go' He grabbed her arm, stopping her retreating form.

'Let. Go'

'No, listen you're crazy if you think I'm letting you wander the streets at 3 in the morning. Let me take you where ever it is you need to be'

'Lucas, I'm quite capable of getting a fucking cab' She whined tiresomely, trying to yank her arm free from his tight hold.

'Why do you need to go?' He didn't understand and he was worried.

'It's none of your business' She groaned. 'Look, you obviously don't get this whole one night stand thing. You have no responsibility, there's no strings attached'

He got it, he did. He'd become quite acquainted with the whole procedure over the last few years, only he didn't liken this to any of those occasions, this had been profoundly different. He didn't know why. It just was. She'd felt different, wonderfully different. She'd been perfect, amazing and he wasn't ready to loose her just yet.

'Let me go'

He let her go, only because she was like a ticking time bomb and was seconds from exploding at him. He quickly grabbed some jeans and shoved his legs into their respective holes. He heard the apartment door shut and was quickly out of his room after her, slipping on the first pair of shoes he came across and hastily grabbing his keys from the side. He'd be damned if she was going anywhere without him.

* * *

Peyton got into the front seat and slammed the car door as hard as she could.

'Please tell me what's wrong?' Lucas pulled out.

He'd had the nerve to follow her. He'd not left her alone. He wouldn't take no for an answer and his tiresome moaning had led her to give in and let him drive her and now he had the audacity to ask her what was wrong. He was what was wrong.

She ignored his question, instead giving him short instructions on how to get where she wanted to be. She didn't indulge him with any other information. He asked her where it was they were going, she responded that he wasn't going anywhere with her.

'Just stop here' She snapped some ten minutes later. He carefully pulled over and her heart thrummed in her chest when his hand settled over hers.

'Do you live here?'

'No' She enlighted him with an irritated sigh.

'I'm coming in with you'

'You'll do no such thing' She pulled her hand away.

'Peyton I don't think I'm being completely unreasonable here. You won't tell me anything'

'Because my life isn't any of your business' She opened her door. 'Do me a favour and don't speak to me again' With that said she got out of the car and didn't look back.

She stormed into the building. She'd clearly made a mistake. She'd chosen him because he'd given her the impression that he was interested in one thing only, her body. She wasn't use to this part. She wasn't use to someone insisting upon seeing her safely home or the realm of protective questions. She wasn't use to any of it and she wasn't interested in any of it and she sure didn't buy into any of it.

During the elevator ride up to the top floor, she worked on ridding her mind of Lucas Scott, which would have been a hell of a lot easier had he not been totally amazing in bed. She got shivers just recalling the intimate time they'd spent together.

All of that was driven from her mind when the lift doors slid open. She could smell it straight away, lingering mockingly in the air. It didn't matter how many times she'd been in this situation, it never got easier. She walked into the pent house, her brow knitting together as she followed the trail of empty liqeour bottles, until her eyes finally found Elizabeth Wolf.

'Ellie' Peyton drawled sadly, hurrying over to the sofa and wasting no time in confiscating the bottle of vodka from her hand.

'He's gone. He's left me'

'He hasn't left you. He's in Europe, he's back tomorrow remember?'

'He's left me' The older woman made a swipe for the glass bottle.

'You don't need anymore' Peyton said firmly, standing up right and making her way over to the kitchen island.

'Don't you fucking dare, I, I need that' Ellie staggered to her feet, stumbling after her. 'Peyton. I promise, I promise I won't have anymore after that, please don't'

'I don't know how many times I've heard that and you know what? I'm twenty four and I still convince myself that you'll change, that this time will be different' With that said Peyton drained the rest of the vodka down the kitchen sink and set about finding any other hiding bottles. She knew all the places to look.

'He's left me and all you care about is your fucking self as usual. You selfish brat'

Peyton stopped her fastidious search for a moment, her eyes narrowed. 'Selfish? Me selfish? Mum, I'm your daughter and you have never, not once, put me first' She growled distraughtly, her eyes sparkling with inevitable tears. She was shaking with anger but as Ellie's drunk form slouched and her face contorted with her own tears, Peyton's fury diminished into guilt. It was an ongoing cycle she knew off by heart. Now came the waterworks and Peyton was burdened with feeling seemingly responsible for all of this. Now was the part where she apologised and said of course she didn't mean that. Ellie crumbled to the floor but as Peyton opened her mouth to atone for her words, the figure standing awkwardly across the room suddenly entered her blurred vision. She jumped noticeably.

Apparently Lucas Scott wasn't in the mood for obeying her demands.

'I'm sorry, I...' He trailed off, his curiosity had got the better of him. He'd sat down there for what seemed like forever but in reality it had only been fifteen minutes. He wanted to know what had governed her to leave his bed at three in the morning. He needed to know the cause for the darkness that had invaded her normally green eyes. He needed to know she was okay.

As she looked at him coldly, he realised that he was probably wrong. That he'd just done the worst possible thing. He could see her alienating herself.

'I swear to god if you tell anyone, anyone about this you're dead' She told him vehemently and then she was on the floor beside, whom he'd determined was her mother on just looks alone, and she was cooing gently at the sobbing woman.

'I'm, I'm s-sorry Pey-Peyton' Ellie's hand shakily touched Peyton's cheek, oblivious to their company.

'No Mum, it's okay. Let's get you to bed'

'He's left me'

'Dad's not left you' Peyton announced strongly. 'He's singing remember? He'll be back from his tour tomorrow'

'Tour'

'Yeah'

'He's on tour'

'That's right, but he's back tomorrow'

'Back tomorrow' Ellie repeated deliriously. 'He's going to be mad'

That was putting it lightly. He'd gone away for a month on the condition that she promised she'd not do this. She'd promised and she'd made it so close. Peyton hated it. Peyton hated that she wasn't enough to keep her mother sober. She hated that it was only her Dad that could drum any sense into her. She was jealous. She was jealous that her mother loved her father more than her.

'Let's get you to bed' Peyton said gently, forbidding herself from thinking about any of it. If she started she wouldn't be able to stop and she would only accomplish upsetting herself.

'I'm tired'

'I know' Peyton struggled to pull Ellie's dead weight up but then Lucas was suddenly there helping her. 'Don't' Peyton snapped.

He ignored her. He scooped Ellie up into his arms and the older woman's eyes closed.

'Where's her room?' He asked, his eyes unrelenting, silently telling her that he wasn't going anywhere.

Peyton regrettably led him through the large pent house. He took in everything as he followed her. He took in all the photos displayed. He took in the vast amount of images of a little blonde haired child that resembled Peyton.

'Thank you' Peyton mustered as he gently set down a past out Ellie. Peyton pulled the covers over her, placed a glass of water on the bedside table and closed the curtains, Lucas' gaze watching her all the while. She didn't speak to him again. After she'd located a half empty bottle of vodka under the bed, he followed her out of the large master room. He followed her back into the kitchen. He watched her dispose of the strong spirit and search the cabinets high and low. He watched her cleanse the whole place of alcohol and then he watched her grab her purse from the side and only then did he find his voice.

'Where are you going?'

'Home' She announced shortly, pressing the button for the elevator.

'Peyton I'm sorry, I just wanted to check you were okay'

'I don't care, it's none of your god damn business' The doors tinged and slid apart and they both stepped in. They didn't speak for the remaining twenty floors.

'Let me take you home' He said when they exited the building. It was light now, the streets were busier and filled with people going to work. It was another day. Only it felt completely different, everything seemed completely different in Lucas' eyes.

She shook her head dismissively and he didn't argue.

'If you so much as breathe a word of-'

'I won't tell anyone, of course I won't'

She didn't look so sure.

'Peyton I would never do that, you can _trust_ me'

She walked away from him and he heard her parting words loud and clear. 'No, I can't trust anyone'


	6. I Don't Like You, But I Want You

**A/N** Sorry for the delay, there's no excuse, just school! Thanks for all the kind words. Emera.

Mick Wolf's renowned name was something he'd achieved at the age of twenty four, something he'd achieved through hard work and passion. His widespread reputation had been something he'd adjusted to, something he'd learnt to deal with. He wasn't bitter about the fame, he accepted that doing what he loved came at a price. It didn't mean he had to like it. He hated that his relationship and marriage had been attacked on more than one occasion. He resented the fact that he'd raised his daughter in the spotlight. She didn't know any differently. She'd been a celebrity before she'd even left her mother's womb in a sense and only now, that she was twenty four, could he really see what that had done to her and he so desperately wished he could change it all.

It was late Sunday afternoon and with a tiresome sigh, Mick Wolf threw a bunch of magazines into the dumpster, magazines with his daughter's face on the front. It was a ritual of sorts. He knew it didn't make anything marginally better, but it helped his own sanity if he could remove as many of the reckless photographs of her as possible. So, whenever he was in a store and saw her beautiful face staring back at him, he'd taken to buying the whole lot and disposing of them.

Peyton was slouched against the breakfast bar, picking at a bit of toast when her father let himself into her apartment. She'd gone to bed as soon as she'd got in and had only just ventured out of her room, dressed in an over sized tee that drowned her body.

'Sweetie?' It didn't take long for him to find her and he smiled widely.

'Dad' She sprung from her place and into his open arms.

'Hey kid' He chuckled, kissing her temple.

'How was Europe?' She tilted her head to the side as she looked up at him and he nodded while helping himself to a cup of coffee.

'I missed my baby' He took a bite of her slice of toast and draped his free arm around her again.

'I missed you' She rested her head against his chest. He was the only man she had ever trusted and revelled in being close to him, it was safe to say she was a Daddy's girl through and through.

'Yeah? Judging from all the paparazzi shots, you've been quite the busy girl'

She pushed him away a little, frowning. 'Don't start, I don't know why you look at those'

'Sweetie' He sighed, watching her retreating form.

'What?' She snapped. She was tired and irritable and in no way in the mood for a fatherly lecture. 'Dad, you've just got home okay? Don't start moaning at me'

'I'd just like for you to stop with the partying a little. I'm worried okay?'

'You don't have to be worried. I'm not like you're fucking wife'

His face contorted at her coarse language, he'd never get use to words like that coming from his little girl's mouth, despite her age. 'Don't speak about your mother like that'

'Why not? Have you seen her yet?'

'Yes' He exhaled, he'd found her pretty much past out. 'She's sleeping it off, she was just depressed that I was away honey, you know how she gets. She'll be okay in a few days'

'You sound just like her' She muttered under her breath.

'Peyton' He cupped her cheek, angling her head to look at him. 'Come on' He appealed. 'I don't want to argue'

She exhaled heavily through her nose.

'You mentioned on the phone that you were doing some stuff for Clothes over Bros? How's that going?' He changed the subject, taking a sip of coffee.

She shrugged. 'Okay I guess' She ran a hand through her wild locks, a pout on her lips.

'You're not liking it?'

'It's work'

'That's not an answer. Darling, why don't you take a break and go away for a while. Go see the world, get away from this'

'I have a job dad' She ground out tiresomely.

'Yeah' She didn't miss the disapproving look that was quick to drift over his features.

'Don't do that' She whined.

'I'm sorry, I just don't like you doing this modelling thing'

'I know, you've made that pretty clear' He'd never fully approved of her work. She'd been just fifteen when she'd been approached and he'd been away at the time. He was less than impressed to say the least when he'd arrived home to find school had taken a back seat while she was thrown into a world he didn't want her in. Ellie had decided however, that it was a good thing. That it would keep her entertained and busy while they were away. They'd argued but it hadn't taken her long to persuade him it was what Peyton wanted and he struggled, even to this day to say no to that face. Only now, unlike in the beginning, he had no say over the jobs she took, he had no say over anything she did.

'You're my little girl Peyton, I'm sorry that I'm not exactly thrilled to see you half naked all the time'

'Okay, you're exaggerating just a little. Don't you trust my judgement?'

'I trust you sweetie, but I don't trust the thousands of guys that want to get to know you'

She laughed, outright laughed, because it was funny. To her anyhow. 'Dad I'm twenty four, I'm not an innocent little kid'

'Oh I know that' He scoffed and she scowled right back. 'You're with a different guy every week'

'You know, as much as I'm enjoying this little heart to heart, I think you should go and see _Ellie_' She seethed.

'Peyton'

'I mean it. Go.' She crossed her arms.

He let out a defeated breath. 'Okay, okay. I'll speak to you tomorrow'

She watched him leave, him walking away only fueling her already raging anger.

She snatched her phone up and began looking through her contacts vehemently.

She needed someone to take her mind off of her dysfunctional family, to take her mind off of all the words she'd just exchanged with her father.

She had a few options, a few guys that she knew would come running, but after the night before, she knew it would take a lot to compare to Lucas Scott's performance.

She needed an escape.

She needed someone to fulfill her needs, she hated that that person was a guy she was beginning to dislike a little more with each passing second.

* * *

'I'm going to kill that girl' Brooke cried as Lucas opened his door to his riled friend. She brushed past him with not so much as a hello, instead flailing a magazine at him. He caught it, his eyes drifting over the front cover. 'She leaves the after party, she was at work and she just leaves and then she's sighted at six am, in the same outfit doing the walk of shame. Look at my crumpled dress'

Lucas couldn't see any fault with the dress but he wasn't looking at the dress, he was looking at her face. It must have been taken moments after he left her. The short article beneath the paper misinterpreted her pale face and blood shot eyes for drug abuse, not lack of sleep.

'Aren't you going to say something' Brooke demanded.

His eyes drifted up to her and he scratched the back of his head.

'God, you look like shit' She noted, taking in his tired face.

'Thanks' He sat down on the floor, yawning.

'I just don't get her. Does she really want the world to think she's some cheap slut?'

'She's not a slut Brooke' Lucas contended.

She sighed, resorting to sitting on a box due to the lack of furniture 'You left last night without saying bye'

He nodded uneasily. 'Sorry about that. You were, were busy, I, I was, was just tired'

Her eyes narrowed as a red blush crept up his cheeks.

'Oh. My. God'

His gaze jerked up from his hands.

'You?' She cried. 'She was with you. You had sex with her. She had sex with you?' Her nose twisted. 'You're the reason my dress is all crumpled' She shoved him. 'How did that even happen?!' She exclaimed, her hands moving wildly in front of her.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, he didn't really know how it had happened but he really wasn't in the mood for _this _conversation or for the Brooke Davis' squealing voice that came with it. 'I don't really want to talk about it okay?'

'That bad huh?' She asked in surprise, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips.

'Definitely not bad' He corrected, she couldn't have been more wrong. He couldn't get it out of his head, he kept replaying every single second of it and it was driving him crazy because he was more than certain that she'd never allow it to happen again and god did he want it to happen again. 'I just, she made it pretty clear it was a one time kind of thing' He reluctantly admitted. He knew that was his fault entirely, he'd gone a little psycho on her, he shook his head as thought over his actions. He had no clue what had compelled him to insist upon getting her home or what had urged him to follow her, it was unexplainable, she was like a magnet pulling him in, he couldn't take no for an answer.

'I thought that's what you wanted? Mr I'm not looking for a relationship'

'I'm not' He claimed weakly.

Brooke's eyes softened at his expression. 'It's okay to want to be with someone Lucas' She told him softly. 'But Peyton Wolf? She's hardly relationship material'

'No' He agreed, she wasn't. 'You should give her a chance though Brooke, she's not who you think she is'

'And who is she Lucas?' Brooke pried, that teasing glint back in her eyes. 'You fuck the girl and suddenly you know her?'

She didn't miss the frown that was quick to form on his face. The frown that told her he wanted more than a one night stand with Peyton Wolf, whether he knew that himself she wasn't sure. Either way, she knew things were about to get messy. She'd had several years to get accustomed to life in the spotlight, Lucas however had not and she was pretty certain he wasn't going to like it.

'She's got a lot going on in her life that you don't even know about'

Her brow knitted together curiously and he instantly regretted his words.

'Is there something I should know?' She urged.

'No, no. Just, she's not a bitch Brooke, she's just got this wall up around her. It's not surprising really'

'And let me guess, you're going to be the one to break it down' She taunted.

He rolled his eyes. 'She hates me. Look, can we just, not talk about this anymore?'

'No way broody, I want to know how you did it, how you actually managed to get her in your bed. Was she drunk?'

A toothy grin formed on his face when his phone vibrated noisily on the sideboard. 'Save by the bell' He lurched away from her. 'I'm not talking about it Brooke' He pressed his phone to his ear. 'Hello?'

* * *

Lucas knocked again, he couldn't seem to contain his smug grin. She'd called. She'd called him. Albeit, it wasn't exactly the most endearing of conversations he'd ever had. She'd bluntly asked him if he wanted to meet her at some obscure hotel later on. He'd asked what she exactly meant, she said it was what it was, nothing more. He wasn't stupid, he knew full well what she wanted and he had no qualms about giving her it, he just wanted to lay down a few ground rules before hand, which was why he was here. At her apartment door.

He tried the handle and was surprised to find it open. 'Peyton?' He gingerly walked in, immediately staring around the huge open plan space. It ran the distance of the building and the west side was all glass. It was pretty amazing and left his mouth ajar and what was more amazing was the music filtering throughout the lavish apartment. The place had great acoustics that was for sure.

As he edged further in he noticed the source of the great sound and his heart sped up.

A grand piano sat in the corner and there she was, in all her glory.

He stopped walking, staring most astounded.

She was completely immersed. There was no music, her eyes were closed and her nimble fingers were dancing madly along the keys.

It wasn't as though he'd not watched someone playing before. His best friend was a very talented musician and a very skilled pianist but this was different. This was on a whole different level of amazing.

Her furrowed brow softened along with the music, her digits slowing, falling on the keys with utmost agility and then a few moments later it finished.

Lucas heard her breathe heavily and he swallowed thickly and then his hands were in front of him, clapping wildly.

Her eyes were quick to snap open and nearly popped out of her head as she took him in.

His clapping slowly faded at the daggers that were shooting at him. 'Sorry, I, I didn't mean to startle you. That was' He shook his head in awe. 'Out of this world, amazing'

'What the hell are you doing?' She stood abruptly and his eyes inadvertently fell to the rest of her body. She was still wearing an overly big t-shirty that had fallen off one shoulder so he could see a bra strap. 'What do you think you're doing?' She exclaimed louder this time, jerking him from his stupor.

'Well you invited me' He explained simply with a nonchalant shrug.

'I said later, I thought that implied evening and I didn't invite you. I said I'd come to you' She sighed. 'How did you find my place?'

'Brooke has your details'

'Which are meant to be confidential' She growled.

'What's wrong?' He let his amusement show, a wide entertained smile gracing his lips.

'What's wrong?' She barked. 'What's wrong is that you just waltz in here uninvited. This is my space, my private place'

'It's cause I heard you play isn't it?' He kinked an eyebrow. 'Seriously Peyton you shouldn't be embarrassed of that, you're incredible'

She crossed her arms in front of herself. 'I'm not'

'Are you kidding me? How long have you played?'

She shook her head dismissively. 'I'll go get changed and then we'll go someplace that isn't here'

'Why don't we just stay here' He nosed around, picking up a photo frame of her when she was just six, sitting on her dad's lap.

'Because this is my place, I don't have men in my apartment, it's a rule. There's too much personal stuff' She snatched the black frame from his grasp.

'You think I'm going to steal your stuff and sell it to a newspaper?'

'Just sit down' She shoved him in the direction of the large sofa. 'And try not to touch anything' He obediently sat down as she marched away.

'What if I don't want to do this?' He muttered.

She turned back to face him. 'Do what?'

'Well you're using me'

Her eyebrows raised indignantly. 'Using you?'

'Well this is what this is right? You didn't want to meet to have dinner and a chat did you?'

'I'm offering you sex and you're seriously questioning this? You know you're lucky, after everything you pulled last night-'

'Believe me, I'm flattered' He winked.

'Look if you're not interested-'

'I didn't say that. I just, if I'm going to be your toy boy, which is what this essentially is, I have a few demands of my own' He enlightened her.

Her green eyes burned into him. 'Demands' She bit out, hand on hip.

'Demands' He nodded with a smirk. 'For starters, you can be a little nicer to me'

She laughed but that laughter soon dwindled at his serious look.

'Nicer?'

'It wouldn't hurt you to be polite' He decided. 'And most importantly, there'll be no more pissing Brooke off because I'm sick of her whining about you'

She smiled at this.

'It's not funny and my ears can't handle anymore of her insistent moaning'

'That's it?'

'That's it' He nodded, allowing his eyes to rake down her long legs for a moment.

Her nostrils flared slightly, she was stubborn, she didn't like being told what to do one bit. But right now she only wanted one thing and if by nodding her head and smiling sweetly she'd get it, she'd do it.

She turned around with a roll of her eyes, making her way to her bedroom to change. 'Fine, I'll be a good girl'


	7. Blind Love

Jagged lines from speeding headlights flashed through the blind onto the hotel room's musky wall.

Lucas couldn't sleep. His wide blue orbs chased the light trails as he listened to the city buzz that drifted through the open window. It was something he was yet to get use to. He was still accustomed to nothing but silent nights, not a city that never seemed to sleep.

The body beside him stirred and he tilted his head to look at her, welcoming any distraction from the persistent traffic outside. She was laying on her front, the bed sheet barely covering her backside, giving him a perfect view of a very glorious naked back. It was a muggy night and their unknown hotel didn't indulge in such luxuries as air conditioning, air conditioning that Lucas was more than craving right now.

Uncaring to the possibility of waking her, he let his hand run down the curve of her back, revelling in the smoothness there.

It had been almost a month since this somewhat impulsive yet greatly appreciated arrangement had come about. She'd kept to his demands....to some extent anyhow. There had been no issues with Brooke, well not to his knowledge, however she still wasn't what Lucas would define as _polite _but he put up with it. Her short temper was easy to handle when he put it into perspective. He was being compensated for her unruly behaviour with these frequent meetings in gloomy hotel rooms.

'Mmm' She muttered into the mattress and a mischievous smile tugged its way onto his face. He'd come to find that only in her sleep did he ever see her completely unguarded. 'Lucas' she grumbled as she came to, swatting at his hand.

'Uhuh' He started to lay kisses from the base of her neck all the way down her spine.

'No. Work. Early. Sleep' She told him shortly, briefly opening one eye to look at the red glaring digits on the bedside clock. 'Jesus, it's three am Lucas' She complained, rolling onto her back to put an end to his insistent kisses. Her move didn't quite have the desired affect, he murmured at the sight of her._ This_ was why she tried to avoid staying. More often than not she found herself asleep beside him though, always unable to move and blissfully sated.

He seemed deaf to her protests though, his hands tugging at the sheets now tangled around her legs.

'Luke' She sighed tiredly. The shortened version of his name had become part of her vocabulary within just the last week and every time it accidentally escaped from her mouth he found himself tingling briefly from head to toe.

He finally freed her endless legs, bringing minor relief to her overheated form.

She let his gaze rake up and down her, she watched his eyes turn black. She had no intention of letting this escalate anywhere but she let him look, for no reason accept that she loved _that_ look. 'We're not having sex' The look that was then to form on his face was a mixture of disdain and pain and she kind of enjoyed taunting him, he always made it so easy.

He groaned. 'It's always when and where you want it isn't it?'

Even in her sleepy state she managed to kink an eyebrow at him. 'Do you want these meetings to stop?' It was a rhetorical question, she already knew the answer. 'Cause you're going the right way about it'

'Do _you _want these meetings to stop?' He mimicked. He already knew the answer. He hovered over her with a devilish smirk 'Cause your best bet at keeping me in between these' He nudged her legs apart with his knees and settled himself where he loved to be best. 'Is to keep me satisfied and sweetheart...right now, I'm not satisfied'

Despite his threat, she knew without a doubt he wouldn't be able to resist her, regardless of whether or not she gave in right now. She feigned a sweet smile. 'Well' She trailed her finger down his chest. 'You're going to continue to be unsatisfied _sweetheart_' Her smile vanished and she pushed at his hard chest.

He let his weight press against her for a second and she took a sharp breath and it took all her self control to shoved him harder.

He chuckled as he reluctantly sat up right, moving to kneel beside her. He knew he had her all worked up and that she'd rather suffer with the sudden hankering need in the pit of her belly than give in. She was far too stubborn for that.

She placed her feet on top of the crumpled sheets, her legs bent at the knee and took a deep breath, a perfect glower on her face. 'I'm going _back_ to sleep'

'Uhuh'

She snapped her eyes closed, trying to ignore the fact that he hadn't laid back down, that he was still looking at her.

'How did you get that?' He spoke not even a minute later.

'Get what?' she muttered with a frustrated exhale.

'This scar' His finger trailed over the defect on her calf. He'd noticed it the first night he'd slept with her. He'd daren't question her on it until now, she was half asleep and less likely to tell him her life wasn't any of his business, which was her standard answer to his attempted exchanges.

Her eyelashes fluttered and her Green orbs sparkled in the dim room. 'You're really determined to not let me sleep aren't you?' She scowled.

'I can't sleep' He told her simply.

'Oh I know, you seem dead set on making me suffer for it' She rubbed the sleep from the corner of her eyes.

'Oh you're not going to be suffering, in fact-'

'We're not having sex' She dismissed. 'You already wore me out and it's too hot'

'Yeah, you are' He grinned wolfishly and she whacked his arm.

He flopped back onto the mattress beside her with a dramatic huff.

He waited a few moments and she thought he'd finally shut up but then he spoke again. 'You didn't answer me'

'What?' She whimpered.

'The scar' He rolled onto his side, leaning on one hand and staring at her expectantly, watching as she opened and closed her mouth hesitantly.

'I, I was thirteen, it was at one of my Dad's gigs' She curled onto her side.

'What happened?' He pried softly.

She breathed out heavily through her nose. 'It was a big venue and I guess security wasn't exactly great' She opened her eyes and looked into his sincere face. 'I always liked standing in the audience, it's so much better than watching from the stage, it's a, it's just a completely different atmosphere' She licked her lips. 'This man grabbed me when they were doing the encore. It was all about money, I guess he was going to blackmail my parents or something. We didn't make it out of the arena though, there was a shoot out and I ended up getting hit'

His eyes widened considerably and she was pretty sure his face had just whitened a couple of shades 'God Peyton, that's' He shook his head. He didn't understand quite why, but the knowledge that she'd been hurt and in danger filled him with an incomprehensible anger, an anger he'd never experienced before.

'I just remember screaming, screaming so loudly but no one could hear. No one noticed. The whole audience was already screaming, screaming for my dad to play more and I was screaming for him to notice me. It wasn't my Mum or Dad that noticed I was gone though, it was their bodyguard'

Her eyes were glistening with tears and he'd not seen this side to her before. She was suddenly vulnerable and he wanted to save her.

She suddenly blinked repeatedly. 'I shouldn't, I shouldn't have told you that' She mumbled in a fluster.

'I'm glad you did' His hand found her face and her stare focused on him. 'Don't you think if I was going to tell anyone anything about you I would have done so by now? I'm not that guy Peyton'

His head was all too close to hers and despite the fact that she'd let this man see all of her body, she'd not so much as dared to let him see what was beneath the skin, until now that is. She'd slipped up. She'd told him something personal. Something she'd not told absolutely anyone and right now he was staring at her with something she couldn't register, with something she didn't recognise but she did recognise that this was far too intimate and as she did she shifted away and his hand dropped from her face.

'I'm tired' She declared.

He cleared his throat. He wasn't as blind as her, he was aware that he was feeling more for this blonde haired beauty than perhaps he should.

'Right' Lucas settled his head back onto his pillow and let his eyelids close to the sleep that his body so terribly craved but wouldn't succumb to.

The buzz of passing cars filtered irritatingly through his ears once more but as he was about to groan out his frustration Peyton's legs were sliding over his to straddle him.

He squinted up at her in surprise, unable to stop a murmur from passing his lips at the feel of her against him. 'What happened to _not_ having sex?' He asked hoarsely.

'I can't sleep'

'So? When I couldn't sleep you didn't seem to care but when you can't, I should?' He concluded.

'The difference is that _you _woke me up, the difference is that _you_ are the reason that _I _can't sleep'

He abruptly flipped her over. 'Don't get in a strop' He husked in amusement. 'I'm sure I can find a way of getting you back to sleep' He smirked, hooking her leg around his waist.

'Shut up and kiss me' She gasped.

He brushed his nose against hers. 'Gladly'

* * *

'Ouch' Peyton winced.

'Oh god, I'm so, so, so sorry' The girl apologised profusely. 'I'm such a cluts'

'It's fine' Peyton smiled down at the nineteen year old that had accidentally pricked her with a needle. 'Believe me I've had worse. A few years back someone stabbed me with a pair of scissors accidentally' Peyton tried to make her more comfortable but the girl's eyes seemed to pop out of her head in horror not relief.

'Knock, knock' Peyton looked up at the masculine voice. 'Hi there, I'm Caleb'

'Hi' Peyton greeted, her brow furrowed curiously.

'I'm the Clothes over Bros publicist' He elaborated.

'Oh, Peyton' The blonde introduced herself, holding her hand out in front of her.

'I know who you are' The forty something man walked further into the room and wrapped his fingers around hers, bringing her hand up to his mouth, leaving a lingering kiss there.

She internally rolled her eyes. He was one of _those_. 'It's nice to meet you Caleb' She tugged her arm back.

'Likewise Miss Wolf. I have to say I was thrilled to hear you'd joined the company'

'Thank you, that's sweet' She nodded politely, her eyes returning to the young girl now pinning up her dress to the desired length.

'I'm sorry that we haven't met until now, Brooke's very particular over how she wants her company advertised'

'I'd say that's a good thing' Peyton told him, her polite expression gone.

'Yes, yes of course. We've been having a lot of disagreements over how to represent you though'

'I trust Brooke' Peyton found herself sticking up for the brunette.

'She's an idealist. She doesn't get that we could double sales with you doing the cover that Vogue wants'

Peyton's eyes averted back to the pompous man.

It had been a discussion she'd had with Brooke just the previous day. Vogue had contacted her directly, but she'd spoken to her boss regarding the possible shoot before she made any decisions. She'd had her reservations over the desired clothing, or lack there of, that they'd be wanting her to wear. They'd discussed the pros and cons and regardless to her agents suggestion that she take it, she'd come to a decision with Brooke that she wouldn't do it.

'I don't want to do the cover, if I did, I'd do it. I'd rather keep my job here. Brooke has a vision and I don't care if that's being idealistic, in fact I think it's brave and more than anything she's passionate about her work' Peyton finished strongly.

He smiled, a smarmy smile.

The nervous looking girl that had been knelt on the floor for the last twenty minutes and whom was so wrapped up in her job and in performing to the prestigious Miss Davis' standards, suddenly stood and shuffled across the room to consult the designs that she was trying diligently to recreate.

Peyton cursed her timing and the empty space now separating her from the man before her.

'Come now Peyton, you know how this industry works'

'I know that in the last seven years I've not worked with anyone like Brooke Davis, I've never worked with anyone that I actually respect'

He was circling her and not wanting to ruin all the young girls work, she stayed frozen to her spot.

'It's people like me that get people like you into the shining lights, it's people like me that make you a star' His voice had dropped into a seductive lull and he was suddenly behind her, his hands settling lightly on her hips.

She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth together. 'I'm not a naive kid that you can brainwash. I'm not doing it Caleb' she tried to brush his lingering hands away but they stayed firmly put.

'Come on Peyton, you've done stuff like this before' He taunted. 'Brooke's not going to fire you. I'll make sure of that' His fingers slid down her sides grappling in the ruffled material at her thighs, hoisting the knee length dress. 'There's no harm in showing off a little more skin'

'Stop it' She heard the material rip as she instinctively moved forward.

He didn't release her. He didn't stop. He was stronger.

'She said stop Caleb'

Peyton's eyes jerked to the distinctive rasp. Brooke was standing in the doorway, her face contorted with anger.

His hands left her almost instantly and she stumbled as he smiled at the fuming brunette. 'Brooke, I was just coming to find you. What's with the long face? There's no harm done, we were just discussing how this dress would look great a few inches shorter'

'Get out Caleb'

'What?' He laughed. 'Bro-'

'Now. Leave. You're fired'

'Excuse me?'

Peyton's eye's widened at this.

'You heard. Go'

His face reddened with humiliation. 'You've got to be kidding me, after everything I've done for you and this company?'

'You've done nothing but sabotage what I do and go behind my back. I need people I can trust and you're not that person'

His jaw stiffened and there was an awkward moment of silence before he stormed toward the door, pausing before exiting. 'You're making a huge mistake'

'No, I'm fixing one'

He slammed the door after himself and only then did Brooke's eyes trail to the blonde standing awkwardly.

'Are you okay?' She asked gently.

'I'm fine' Peyton nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

'What he just did wasn't fine'

'I'm use to it. I can handle myself' She breathed, her heart only now returning to it's normal steady beat.

'I'm sure you can, but that doesn't make it okay' Brooke stared at her sternly.

'I can't believe you just fired him' Peyton looked bewildered.

'You think I'd seriously let someone say and touch you inappropriately? Peyton, I' She stammered. 'I'm sorry' She said difficultly. 'I'm sorry that, that happened and I, I've been, I know I've been hard on you. I just, I have a big responsibility and-'

'Brooke, I get it. I know I'm a liability' She shifted her feet.

'What Caleb just did wasn't okay and he won't be working for me again'

'Brooke you don't have to-'

'No, you could have him charged Peyton, I'm serious'

'It wasn't anything, I've dealt with worse, you just have to put up with jerks like that'

'No you don't' Brooke disagreed strongly. 'You don't'

Peyton self consciously tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

'I want you to tell me if anyone so much as says anything to you out of line sweetie' The term of endearment slipped from her mouth and her hand rested on the blonde's arm. 'I'm not having people like that work for this company, okay?' As quick as her fingers hand come to touch Peyton's arm they were gone again.

'Okay' she mumbled quietly.

'Good' The brunette averted her attention to the girl standing in the corner. 'Kate, can you go get me some more of this fabric, I'll sort this out okay?' The girl nodded and scurried out of the room without a word. 'She's new' Brooke informed Peyton in amusement.

'I noticed' Peyton smiled genuinely as Brooke began to unpin the ripped section of the dress. 'Brooke?'

'Yes?'

'Thank you'

She smiled. 'Well, I guess I have to be nice to you, considering I'm pretty certain you're the reason one of my closest friends hasn't been able to stop smiling lately'

Peyton was very rarely lost for words and she hated that her cheeks were burning. She'd figured that Brooke would know what had been going on but she'd not said anything for the last four weeks. 'It's not, we're not. It's nothing serious' She eventually stuttered out.

'Oh, I know that' She looked up seriously into Peyton's nervous green eyes. 'I'm just beginning to wonder if he does'.


	8. Fears & Insecurities

'Why am I coming to this thing again?' Lucas sighed irritably, fiddling with the buttons for the window separating them from the limo driver.

'Because' Brooke snatched his hand away, preventing him from opening and closing it for the hundredth time. 'I needed a date and Julian's working on your film so it's only fair that you accompany me' She finished with a pat to his hand.

He let out a heavy breath. 'I don't like these things Brooke-'

'Think of it as practice. When Ravens premieres you'll have to attend' She reached for the iced bottle of champagne, eager to soothe his apparent restlessness. 'Besides' She added. 'I happen to know that a certain green eyed girl is going to be there'

He perked up at this.

'Here drink this' She forced the glass into his hand.

'Peyton?'

Brooke shrugged a shoulder ambiguously.

Peyton Wolf had not contacted him for coming on a week now and Brooke knew that it was eating at him. His scarily happy self that had emerged since he'd met the model had dematerialised in the last seven days to be replaced with his infamous brooding.

'It's over, whatever it was between us, it's over' He told her emphatically.

'You don't know that' Brooke dismissed.

'Brooke' Her name slipped through his stiff upper lip. 'I don't care' He announced indifferently. 'She's just a girl, it was just a fling, nothing serious, we were just fooling around' He defined their relationship simply. 'I really couldn't care less'

'Okay' Brooke bit her tongue, stopping herself from arguing otherwise. She'd known this boy for the best part of her life, she'd dated this boy briefly and felt confident in reading him and his complex mind. She just _knew _that he most definitely did care. In fact she was pretty certain he'd not cared more about anything in the last six years. Since the shooting, since his uncle's death, he'd become a shadow of his former self, until Peyton that is. Since this girl had waltzed into his life she'd seen sparks of the Lucas she fondly remembered and although a little bewildered by the pairing they strangely seemed like a perfect match. She'd had her doubts about the seemingly wild child but as the weeks had past she'd come to decide that perhaps Peyton Wolf wasn't as wild as she'd first thought. She'd established that there was a different side, a side hiding beneath the charade that Peyton played so well. She was beginning to see what Lucas saw and at the end of the day, whether she liked the girl or not, Lucas' happiness was enough to encourage her to push them together.

The limo pulled up to the entrance and immediately fans festered around the stationary vehicle.

Brooke ran her hand over her red dress. 'That's good I guess, cause you should know that she's attending this thing with Felix Taggero'

His eyes widened and she pretended not to notice, instead slipping her hand into his and then the door was opened and the screams that had been muffled by the safe shelter of the stretch limo suddenly perforated through them.

The mass of photographers were shooting their weapons in Brooke's direction within seconds. Lucas winced at the bright flashes and managed an awkward, forced smile, whereas Brooke seemed completely unfazed by the display and led him onto the carpet.

It was all a blur, a blur of lights, fans and the famous and Lucas couldn't help but think that he was meant to be on the other side of the ropes, that he certainly wasn't meant to be on this runway.

Unlike him, Peyton Wolf ruled the red carpet, regardless of the fact that she wasn't actually in the film premiering. Her golden dress made her every bit the shining star and the photographers had all abandoned the sour faced featuring actresses and actors in favour of getting her winning image.

She unconsciously worried her bottom lip when her eye caught the vibrant red of Brooke Davis' dress and her gaze inevitably landed on the man beside her, the man she'd been dead set on avoiding until the end of time. Her plan had worked for only a measly seven and a half days. She'd blocked all his phone calls and messages and she'd got a lot of them and she hated him for that alone because his calling only confirmed what Brooke had subtly implied. Lucas wanted more and she couldn't give him more. She wouldn't.

However, she'd struggled to make it through the week without sending him a text with some obscure location to meet her at. The pure sight of him had her weak at the knees and she was more than confused by her feelings. She was sure her craving for Lucas Scott had gone beyond want, she physically needed to be with him and her rationality battled with this need.

She clutched Felix' arm a little tighter.

If there was one thing she was good at, it was acting and she was determined to keep up this facade for the remainder of the evening. Even if she lost her sanity over it, she was determined to not speak or so much as look in Lucas Scott's direction.

Lucas' jaw tightened unbeknown to him.

'For someone that really doesn't care what Peyton Wolf does, you look a little bit pissed' Brooke drawled in his ear.

'I _don't _care' He professed, his eyes glued to the blonde. Her hair was down and in perfect locks and his breath grew short at her attire alone. The dress tied behind her neck and the two cups that covered her chest weren't joined at the middle and he had to wonder how Brooke came up with these things. He could see the curve of her breasts beneath and he wasn't sure if he loved that or hated that everyone else could see too. The golden satin flared out into a puffball skirt and only seemed to painfully emphasise her long legs 'I _don't_ care that she's over there and I'm over here. I _don't _care that she's not so much as acknowledged my presence. I _don't_ care that that jackass has got his hands on her and I most definitely _don't _care that she's flirting with him' He ranted. Only when he took a breath did he realise that perhaps he did sound a little jealous. Okay, not a little, perhaps a lot.

'Yeah, you really _really _don't care' Brooke smirked. 'God Luke, you've got it bad' She noted.

His head swivelled suddenly in her direction. 'I don't, I don't have anything at all' He told her desperately.

'But you want something with Miss Wolf don't you?'

'How many times Brooke-'

'Have you told her?'

He scoffed at this. 'There's nothing to tell her. She's made it clear what it was between us Brooke'

'Lucas keeping your feelings buried isn't healthy'

He gave her a look and she let out a heavy sigh.

'Okay, okay, I'm shutting up, can you just try to smile until we get inside and then you can pout all you like through the film' The brunette hissed, dragging him forcefully down the remainder of the red carpet, while he tried to rid his mind of Peyton and instead perfect a fake smile.

* * *

Lucas walked down the high ceilinged hallway.

It had been a long night. The film had been painfully bad in every way and the after party had been the last straw for Lucas. He'd tried to approach Peyton but she was having none of it, she'd even had security escort him out of the VIP area. Brooke had been thoroughly amused by this but had saved him none the less. They'd left shortly after that. Brooke had dropped him off in front of his building but he'd not gone inside. He'd proceeded to walk aimlessly. Well, he told himself it was aimlessly but considering he'd ended up in_ her _building, it wasn't as uncalculated as he'd attempted to convince himself.

He wanted to not care. He'd spent the last week pretending to not care. He didn't understand. For the last seven years he'd been pretty great at not caring. He'd not wanted anything. He'd not had dreams or goals, everything that had happened all just seemed to have fallen into his lap.

He'd always wanted to get married. Regardless of the fact that he'd been brought up in a single parent household, he'd always had an avid belief in love and happy endings and that there was one person out there that was meant solely for him.

He'd stopped believing all those absurd things when his father had killed his uncle. He didn't see how love could possibly exist and he certainly didn't want to get married and have children when all of those options amassed to the possibility of happiness and he couldn't bare to be happy and risk loosing it, which was more than likely in this cruel world. So he'd been _that_ guy that never called, he'd been _that_ guy that always said he wasn't looking for anything serious, he'd been _that_ guy that always broke your heart.

He didn't need anyone else, he had his family and that was enough.

Peyton Wolf had broken this cycle though.

He'd initially been over the moon by her suggestion. She wanted exactly what he wanted, no strings attached but even after their first night together he realised now that there had already been an undeniable connection.

And despite his logic trying to persuade him otherwise, temptation had won out.

He wanted her. He wanted her and not just her body. He wanted all of her.

He stopped before her door and wrapped his knuckles rhythmically against the hard surface.

His ears were straining to listen, listen for voices on the other side. He looked at his watch. It was nearing two am, he was certain she'd be home by now unless...unless she'd gone somewhere with _him_.

He swallowed thickly and all sorts of visions started to fill his mind. He didn't want Felix Taggero touching her, he didn't want anyone touching her.

The door suddenly opened, thankfully disrupting his horrible thoughts.

She was still dressed in her gold dress, minus the heels.

'What're you doing Lucas?!' Peyton groaned tiresomely. She'd thought she'd made it the whole night without having to have this conversation that she knew was rightly due. She'd not spoken a word to the poor guy, the least he deserved was an explanation but that didn't mean she wanted to give it and in a nonsensical kind of way she decided he had no right in making her. It wasn't as if she'd misled him in anyway, she'd been outright honest about what she wanted from him.

His eyes jolted from those legs of hers to her frowning face. 'What do you mean what am I doing?' He asked nonchalantly.

'I said you weren't to ever come here. Do you want me to call security?'

'You've already done that once tonight' He laughed humorlessly and she looked sheepish for a split second but her scowl soon returned as he went on. 'I've not heard from you in four days, you're not answering any of my calls and you just spent four hours ignoring me and convincing everyone I was some kind of psycho' He stated off hand, pushing the door open wider and brushing past her to let himself in.

'Okay' She shook her head disbelievingly and followed his hasty steps. 'You're not doing this. We're not in a relationship Lucas, you don't get to come marching in here, you don't get to be possessive-'

He spun around 'I'm hardly being possessive Peyton' He scoffed. 'I know what this is. I'm not confused in the slightest and if you think I'm even interested in having a proper relationship with you, you're wrong' As he barked it at her he was quick to realise that that was very much a lie.

'You're not?'

'No!' He snapped, stepping toward her.

'Good' She exclaimed only she was anything but smiling.

'Good!' He fired back just as fiercely.

They both exhaled heavily, their eyebrows a matching line and then he was storming further into the apartment and haphazardly opening doors.

'What the hell are you doing?'

He didn't answer and he didn't stop, not until he found what he was looking for- her room.

It was red, something he'd definitely not expected but it was kind of fitting, it kind of resembled her frequent temper.

He then realised that it was empty. Felix Taggero was not here, she was indeed alone and he'd never been more happy.

'Lucas?' She demanded. He didn't explain himself, he turned to face her and they were standing not even a metre away from each other. 'You're insane, what do you think you're doing?'

He couldn't bare it, her standing there, hand on hip, her cheeks flushed with anger and her chest rising and falling with every heavy breath along with the gold, sparkling choker round her neck.

She widened her eyes impatiently and rubbed her red painted lips together and he lost it then and there.

He abruptly stepped forward, his hands grappling at her hips and then he pushed her back into the wall and she gasped loudly but didn't say single word, she just stared. Stared into his unblinking eyes of blue. Her breath was short. She'd not had his hands on her in a week and that felt like a life time. She didn't fight or protest when his lips crashed into hers, she kissed him back just as urgently. His tongue swept over the seam of her mouth and the she was instantly obliging in parting her lips to him. The stress that she'd been carrying around with her all week, the ache that she'd so desperately wanted to dispel of diminished instantly. He was good. _Really, really good. _His hand that had been at her hip, migrated down to her thigh, eagerly slipping beneath the material there and tugging her leg up to hook around his waist. She murmured softly and arched her back, desperately wanting more.

He pulled back panting when her hand began to agilely unbuckle his belt and it took all of his self will. He stared into those mysterious green eyes of hers and then the question that had been flitting around his head for the past five hours and twenty two minutes, spilled from his lips. 'Are you sleeping with other people? Are you sleeping with Felix?'

His heart was racing in his chest and he was fully expecting her to push him away from her. She didn't. She frowned, instead awarding him with a heavy sigh accompanied with a disappointed murmur of his name. 'Lucas'

'Peyton'

'You shouldn't care'

'I don't' He blinked and then shook his head. His pressed her into the wall even more 'Actually I do' He admitted. 'I really fucking do. I need to know'

She silently wished that she could say she'd been with someone else, purely so she could escape from this situation, so that he'd leave and this could end, whatever _this_ was between them.

'Tell me'

'I' She was going to argue but something about the gaze he was giving her compelled her to speak the truth and before she could even comprehend what she was doing it was too late, she'd said it. 'Felix and me are nothing, he's a friend' She decided with a shrug of the shoulder.

'Felix doesn't put the words girl and friend together Peyton'

She smiled. 'No' She agreed with a little laugh. 'But I've known him since I was a little kid, we went to all the same schools. He drags me to boring business dinners and I drag him to work stuff when I'm dateless, I've never even kissed the guy' She didn't know why she suddenly felt as though she had to reassure him of that small detail but she wanted him to know.

He smiled wolfishly, he'd never felt such relief. 'And it's going to stay that way' He pressed his forehead to hers.

'You can't tell me what I can and can't do. Nothings changed Luke'

'Sweetheart, _everything_ just changed' He proclaimed, slowly rubbing his nose against hers. Everything suddenly seemed so clear in his mind.

'No' She whispered distractedly, his hand running over the skin of her thigh wasn't helping her form a coherent thought, her mind was a jumbled mess.

'Yes' He argued. 'It has. You've not been with anyone cause you only _need_ me' He told her passionately.

'I don't _need_ you, I _want_ you. There's a difference. _This _is just an infatuation' She exhaled shakily. 'An infatuation that needs to end'

'Shall I go then?'

She grabbed his belt to stop him from retreating and he smirked. They were in _her_ bedroom and she _didn't_ want him to leave. She wanted him to stay and he knew that was an accomplishment in itself. Judging by her insistence that they meet anywhere but here, he was confident that she'd not allowed any man in her bedroom before and he was quite proud that he was the first.

'You _need_ me' He husked. 'And I, I think I _need_ you'

She closed her eyes as he kissed along her jaw.

'I assure you, you don't' She said with an entertained smile. He lifted her remaining leg up, intent on ignoring her.

'God I love your fucking legs' He hummed as he held them round him.

She wanted him to just fuck her but he'd started this conversation and she had the feeling he was getting the wrong idea. She didn't want him to be disillusioned. 'Luke, I, I don't do relationships'

He smiled. 'We've been in one for the last month Peyton, you just haven't realised it' He kissed her softly and it was nothing like any of his previous kisses, it was sweet, gentle, just a press of lips to lips, nothing more. 'I've been denying it too. I have, but I, tonight, seeing you with Felix, I didn't like it' He sighed. 'Don't you feel it too?'

'Lucas I don't do-'

'Relationships' He finished. 'I know, you said'

'It's just an infatuation. It's my body you want' She whispered knowingly.

His brow knitted together and before she could comprehend what was going on he carried her to the large king size bed and laid her down with care but he didn't settle himself on top of her like she was obviously expecting, he laid down beside her, pulling her back against his chest so he was essentially spooning her.

'What're you doing?' She'd turned rigid. This wasn't something she could recall ever having done before and although she wasn't what she'd describe as comfortable, she also hadn't ever felt so wonderfully safe before and it was definitely something she could get use to but his answer to her question was what really warmed her heart.

'Proving to you that _this_ is more than just sex for me'


	9. Commitment Issues

**A/N **I know, I know, I'm awful right?! I'm really annoyed with myself for even having started this fic when I can't give you guys regular installments! I'm afraid chapters are going to be that way for a while though, hopefully not as bad as this major stretch. I have like no time. I'm sorry, thank you all for reading, and I'll do my best to get an update out to you as quick as I can.

Peyton stumbled out of her room, eyes half shut. She yawned loudly and ran a hand through her messy locks. Mornings so weren't her thing. She grumbled to herself as she reached the kitchen counter, blindly finding some coffee to aid in making her feel a bit more alive.

Lucas watched her with a small adoring smile. He was sat at her piano and there she was, completely oblivious to his presence and looking absolutely beautiful, despite her bedhead and frowning face. He watched her stumble around, fumbling with spoons and mugs and knocking over a cereal box in the process. He stifled a laugh as she muttered a string of profanities under her breath at the scattering of cornflakes. She made no attempt in clearing the mess up, instead slouching over the counter top, head in hands, inept of taking any action before the warming brew of coffee was at her finger tips.

Bored with the lack of entertainment, Lucas decided it was time to let his presence be known. He pressed his finger against one of the enticing white keys before him.

It worked.

The repetitive sound of middle c made her jump somewhat. She blinked in the direction of her grand piano, her eyes suddenly wide.

Lucas. Lucas Scott.

In an instant she was struck by lightening with the previous night's events.

He was here. In her apartment. A man was in her apartment. She'd broken her most important rule and for what? It may have been worth while if he'd given her what she'd wanted but he'd not. He'd held her. He'd just held her and she'd fallen asleep in his arms. She blinked away that image. She couldn't think about that because she sure as hell couldn't start admitting to herself that it had felt more than nice to be enveloped in those arms, a shameful, yet no less pragmatic fact.

'Morning' He smiled easily, clearly not phased by her horror stricken green eyes. 'Got any coffee over there for me?'

She was still a little drugged with sleep, too confused to find words. She moved robotically, wordlessly getting another mug off the shelf.

He fiddled with the keys again and she fort the temptation to scold his hands with the steaming drinks she was busy making. That would surely teach him to not touch her things.

'Do you play?' Her husky voice broke free from it's stunned lair as she walked across the apartment setting two mugs down on the coffee table before migrating toward him, her stony eyes melting with his gaze.

He smirked and then turned his attention to the piano and with great concentration, clumsily performed a not so wonderful rendition of twinkle twinkle little star.

Peyton's lingering uneasiness at his presence in her home was forgotten briefly and an amused smile graced her lips as he finished with a wink sent in her direction.

'That about sums up my musical talent'

She laughed lightly, a sound that he wasn't associated with as such, but a sound that he was definitely eager to hear more of.

He watched her linger, shifting her feet, blatantly deliberating something.

She couldn't help herself. The grand piano, her pride and joy, called to her, her hands twitching desperately at her sides. She was never eager to play in front of anyone but after that dismal display, she needed to soothe the violated keys.

He raised his eyebrows as she finally ventured a few steps forward to perch herself beside him, her smooth leg inevitably pressing against his.

Without looking, her fingers sprung to their designated places and danced fluently over the black and white keys to play the most complex version of twinkle twinkle little star that he had ever heard.

He watched her face, mesmerised by her enthralled expression. She wasn't just playing with her gifted hands, she was playing with her very heart and soul, as cheesy as that sounded. For the first time since he'd met her there was absolutely no false pretenses. He wasn't looking at Peyton Wolf, daughter of Mick Wolf, he wasn't looking at the famous model. He was simply watching a girl in the most candid of moments. It was raw and honest and he could see beyond the artificial mask she so frequently wore. She was herself.

She shyly tilted her head up at him as she finished and he just stared right back, a little to astounded to express his genuine awe over her.

His dazed expression was quick to urge her safety wall back up.

She looked down and opened her mouth to inform him she had things to be doing but he found his voice before her.

'Show off' He teased, setting his hand just above her knee, completely incapable of not touching her, especially after that performance.

She blushed.

Much to her humiliation, she actually felt her cheeks redden.

'I'm sorry'

He chuckled. 'Don't apologise for being amazing at something Peyton'

'I'm not' She blurted with a vigorous shake of the head. 'I'm really not amazing'

'Yeah not much' He gave her a disbelieving smile and his hand at her leg gave her a little squeeze. How she was so disillusioned he didn't know. Her suddenly rigid figure told him to quit it with the complements though. 'How did you sleep?' He asked in way of changing the subject.

_Wonderfully_. She realised silently. She'd never slept so soundly or comfortably in, well _ever?_ 'Okay I guess' Instead was her answer. 'What about you?'

'Great actually' He admitted, unlike her. 'I've been having trouble sleeping since I moved here, it's so noisy'

She smiled again. 'You really are a country boy aren't you?'

'I guess I am, compared to you city girl'

'Do you miss it? Where you use to live?'

She didn't prevent his fingers from drawing patterns on her thigh. The thought fleetingly crossed her mind but it just felt too good to push away.

'A lot' He nodded 'It's just, so non stop here'

'That's what I love. You don't have time to stop and think'

'I don't think that's a good thing' His brow knitted together in thought.

Peyton's eyes lingered on his. She loved that. She loved it when he disagreed with her, which was a lot. Most people just nodded their head when she made a comment.

'You should try getting away from it all for a while, it really lets you put everything into persepective'

He watched her gaze flicker from his eyes to his lips and he found himself imitating her. His own mind drifted along with his wandering stare. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her and he was certain she wanted him to do just that.

'Hello?!'

Peyton jumped. She literally jumped at the loud holler.

'Fuck' She stumbled to her feet, consciously tugging her large t-shirt over her legs. 'Fuck, Fuck, Fuck'

'Who is it?' Lucas whispered.

'Get up- you're goin-'

'There you are' Mick Wolf appeared.

'Dad' Peyton spun around and blocked Lucas, in a futile attempt at keeping him concealed from her fathers eyes.

Lucas' mouth dropped as he peered around her small frame. 'W-wow. You, you're Mick Wolf' He stated dumbly. It wasn't as though he didn't know her father was the famous rock star he was definitely well attuned to that common fact but that wasn't to say he still wasn't star struck at having the legend less than a metre away.

'And you are?' Mick said with an amused expression. It didn't matter how many times he'd seen that awe struck face, it never got old.

'He's leaving' Peyton shook her head. 'Now' She yanked him up from the piano stool.

'Oh come on Peyton, don't make the poor guy leave on my account' Mick argued. 'I'd like to get to know your friend here' He set a bag of pastries down on the coffee table.

'He has to go, he's got a, a meeting or something to get to don't you?' She widened her eyes at Lucas but he was either oblivious or unwilling to oblige to her silent order.

'I'm Lucas' He introduced himself, side stepping round Peyton.

Peyton groaned in despair as the two males shook hands, apparently unconcerned by her discomfort.

'It's nice to meet you Lucas. Doughnut?' Mick offered overly friendly and Peyton watched helplessly as Lucas eagerly sat down on the leather sofa and helped himself to a pink icing coated doughnut.

'Thanks'

'Dad, what're you doing here? What do you want?' She asked shortly, eager to get this unwelcome visit over with.

Her question was ignored.

'So Lucas' He smiled. 'How long have you been sleeping with my daughter?'

Lucas choked on his mouthful at that, clearly not expecting such an invasive, blunt question. His eyes frantically found Peytons'. She didn't seem at all surprised by the explicit question.

'Don't answer that' She told him with a roll of the eyes. 'Do you want to go yet?'

He nodded dumbly. 'Yeah, er, now that you mention it I do have this thing that I need to be at.' He stuffed his hands in his pockets. 'Er it was nice to meet you Mr Wolf, sir, I er, I'll, I'll let myself out' He pointed in the direction of the door and she could barely disguise the amused smile on her lips. He was usually so confident and suave but something about her father had turned him into some stuttering mess. 'Er I'll speak to you later or something'

'Yeah' Peyton agreed with an impatient look at the door.

'Right going' He got the message. He gave an awkward wave and then he staggered quickly to the exit.

'Dad' She whined as soon as the door clicked shut.

'What?'

'You're such a jerk sometimes'

'Well maybe if you'd introduce me to your friends more often I'd know how to behave?'

'He's not my friend'

'I'd gathered that darling'

'He's just a, a friend of Brooke's. He was dropping some, some clothes round that she wants, wants me to wear to this thing tonight'

'What thing tonight?' He looked at her sceptically.

There was no thing. She struggled to think of some _thing_. 'Just, this, this thing' She decided lamely.

'Right. A thing' He rolled his eyes. 'Go put some clothes on and I'll take you out for lunch and you can tell me all about this boy that has you blushing'

'Daddy I'm not-'

'I'm kidding. Just go get dressed, I'm starved'

* * *

There was nothing Lucas Scott enjoyed more than reading. It was a simple fact. He couldn't remember learning to read, in his mind it was just something he'd always been able to do. He was always that little kid reading a book at playtime, the kid that favoured Winne the pooh over watching tv any day of the week.

He'd been sprawled out comfortably on his bed reading for the majority of the evening, completely immersed in a fictional world so the knock at the door came with as a bit of a startling surprise.

He glanced at his watch. 9.45. It was by no means late but he wasn't expecting anyone. Which meant it was either Brooke Davis or old Mrs Connolly from across the hall, ready to try coax him into her apartment for a nice warm brew of tea as she so frequently put it. He was pretty certain she was harmless but that didn't mean he wanted to venture into her cat infested home.

There was another impatient wrap and he reluctantly threw back the bed sheets, helplessly surrendering his book.

By the third knock he knew it must be Brooke, Mrs Connolly was perhaps just as persistent but her feeble figure didn't allow for such ruthless knocking.

'Alright, Jesus Brooke-' He pulled back the door but not to see the feisty brunette.

He didn't have time to register Peyton's presence in his doorway. She was over the threshold pretty much as soon as he was in view. He stumbled backward as she catapulted herself into his arms, his hands instinctively moving to cup her backside. He hastily pushed her into the closest wall to stop himself from falling backward. 'Why hello' He smirked.

'Shut up' She tugged his head closer, urgently latching their mouths together.

She'd spent the entirety of the day with her beloved father but with him interrogating her about her personal life, it had proved to be just a few hours too long and when he'd insisted she spend the night with him and her mother she'd abandoned ship, claiming she really did have a _thing_ to attend. She couldn't be dealing with seeing her mother, not now.

'What, what're you doing here?' He pulled back panting, his eyes firmly closed.

'What does it look like?' She tried to reconnect their lips as he shook his head.

'No' He mumbled with a distressed groan.

'No?' She cried indignantly. 'Lucas-'

He forcefully pushed her legs down 'I meant what I said Peyton. I, I want to give this a go. You and me, this is more to me than sex' He carefully shut the still open front door.

She groaned in frustration. 'Lucas I, I want you' She hooked her fingers through his belt loops and jolting him back in front of her, his hips jerking into hers.

He took a shuddering breath. 'In a boyfriend manner?'

'No, in a sexual manner' She retorted, her breath tickling his neck.

His eyes were closed tight. He couldn't open because he knew that that was a sure way of caving to her. He needed to stay in control but that self control was shattering a little more with every passing second.

He grasped at her wandering hands, pushing them back against the wall. 'You can have me, when you're my girlfriend'

'Not gonna happen' She bit her lip with a seductive glint in her green eyes as she looked up at him. 'Come on' She cooed, arching her back against the wall.

He took a shaky breath as her hips moved against him.

'You know you want to Luke'

'That's a huge understatement' He muttered, his fingers abandoning their job in restraining her hands in favour of stilling her hips.

'Lucas' She stamped her foot. She actually stamped her foot and despite his aching lower regions he chuckled.

'You're really not use to not getting what you want are you?' He found the will to step away from her and she pouted.

'I really don't like you'

He laughed again because he was beginning to think that that really wasn't true. Peyton Wolf liked him. Fact.

'Do you want a drink Miss Wolf?'

She didn't answer but she hadn't stormed out so he went ahead and got her one anyway.

'You still haven't unpacked' She noted with a heavy sigh, her arms crossed tightly as she let her eyes wander away from him to inspect her surroundings. She'd not been here since the first night they'd slept together and that seemed like forever ago now.

'No'

'It's been like what? Going on two months now. Don't you think that's kinda weird?'

He shrugged a shoulder. 'Not weird. Theoretically, I'm just being sensible'

'Sensible? How so?' She snooped around the boxes.

'Well, I could be leaving at any time'

Her eyes widened noticeably. 'You're thinking of leaving?'

He smiled, even if she wasn't aware, he could see the sudden angst on her face. She didn't want him to go anywhere. 'If the film falls through, if something doesn't work out, I have a house waiting for me back in Tree Hill'

'The film's not going to fall through Lucas. Julian's a passionate guy, when he sets his mind on something, it happens. Trust me'

'You know Julian?' He handed her a glass of wine.

'Yeah, he started out, interning at my dad's recording studio. He's a good guy' She took a sip, not failing to notice his look.

Lucas squinted at her.

'What?'

'Did you know him, as in dated him?'

'Why is it that you assume I've been with every guy I mention?'

He smiled sheepishly. 'Do you want to sit?'

'On what exactly?'

'The floor?'

She placed her drink on the mantle shelf and then went about lifting one of the stacked boxes down.

'What're you doing?' He kinked an eyebrow.

'Well seeing as we're clearly not going to be having sex anytime soon, we might as well do something productive'

Several hours and many boxes later the, living area was looking remarkably better.

Peyton pulled out the last of the many individually bubble wrapped books. 'Seriously? I can't believe you wrapped these all individually'

'Hey, they're important'

'And I'm sure they would have survived their journey minus the overload of polystyrene and bubble wrap' She tossed a few of the polystyrene cylinders in his direction and he stuck his tongue out at her.

'Don't stick your tongue out at me, you should be thanking me. A few hours and this place actually looks lived in' She put her hands on her hips, inspecting their work.

He smiled appreciatively. 'You're right. Seriously, thank you. I really needed someone to make me do this. I've been putting off'

'It's no big deal. I did it more for me than you. If I'm going to be spending time here, I'm not going to be sitting on the floor' She commented with a smirk.

'Oh? So you're going to be spending time here now are you?' He asked smugly.

'Well when you reach your male extremities and your hunger for me becomes too much you'll give in-'

He laughed. 'A little confident aren't we? I think you'll find that you're going to be the one giving in sweetheart' He corrected, leaning in dangerously close while he toyed with a strand of her hair.

'I'm not going to be your girlfriend Lucas' She shook her head, her nose brushing tauntingly against his. 'Not now, not ever'

'We'll see, we'll see'.


	10. The Girlfriend

**A/N** Firstly, Happy New Year :) Thank you for all the support guys, This is my present to you all! I had a bit of free time and managed to get this done super quick. I hope you all enjoy!

Brooke Davis was not happy to say the least. She'd been up since five and something was yet to work in her favour. Everything was going horribly wrong and the latest drama was the tip of the iceberg. Peyton Wolf had seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth and to make matters worse and aggravate her already raging temper, nobody was answering their phones.

She stormed down the vacant hallway's before thundering through the studio doors.

She momentarily froze, taking in the somewhat familiar school set and more prominently the cheerleaders in their cheer outfits that were so very like the one buried in the back of her closet.

It was like a blast from the past.

'Cut' Julian's interruption garnered her attention and she lithely walked toward the cluster of people behind the camera's.

'Babe' He stood up instantly, his brow raised in surprise, but his smile demonstrating his fondness for the brunette. He kissed her sweetly before querying this surprise visit. 'What're you doing here? Is everything okay' Apparently he'd picked up on her not so calm vibes.

She sighed dramatically. 'Everything's fine'

'Yeah?' He smiled, her pout clearly suggested otherwise.

'I'll tell you about it later' She eyed the real reason for her abrupt visit. 'Do you mind if I steal him for a minute?'

Julian followed her finger to his screen writer. 'Er, sure' He pecked her lips again. 'As long as I get him back in one piece' He teased, his eyes already back on the scene that was being rehearsed.

'I don't make any promises' Brooke muttered under her breath as she stalked towards her prey. Without so much as a warning, she wove her fingers into his shirt, jerking him from his seat.

Lucas Scott, jumped, dropping his script. 'Ow, Brooke' He groaned, stumbling over his feet as she all but dragged him from the studio, only releasing him from her deadly claws once they reached a quiet, currently unused set of a locker room.

'What did you do?' She demanded.

'Excuse me?' Lucas rubbed his arm, a frown on his face.

'What did you do?' Brooke repeated, a little fiercer this time.

'What do you mean? I haven't done anything? What have I done?' Lucas took a little step back. He'd learnt in the past that it was best to take precautions when it came to Brooke Penelope Davis. You never truly knew when she was going to spontaneously combust.

'Peyton's refusing to come in for this huge shoot today. I've got a lot of people, a lot of fucking contracts riding on this shoot, on this fucking line and suddenly she's not coming in' Brooke exclaimed.

'Why is that my fault?'

'Because Lucas, I know you, I know what you're capable of. You've turned her into a poor lovesick disaster'

'I wish' He scoffed. 'She's certainly not lovesick. Look I have no clue why she's not coming in but it's got absolutely nothing to do with me' He shoved his hands in his pockets, his brow furrowed as he contemplated what possible reason that could have the non stop model to skip out, to skip out on something that was clearly a big deal.

'You've not made plans?'

'Nope. Peyton doesn't make plans. She makes demands, demands that usually happen without little notice' He muttered. 'Look, do you want me to go talk to her? Find out what's going on?'

'I tried that, she's got her phone off and-'

This new bit of information had his stomach in knots.

'So you haven't even spoken to her?' He stood abruptly as a surge of anxiety over Peyton's whereabouts succeeded in propelling him toward the door. 'I'll go over there'

'Lucas' Brooke followed.

'I'll go over there, _when_ I've spoken to her, I'll ring you. Okay?' He didn't wait for her response, leaving her on set as he quickly made his way out into the real world.

* * *

Lucas knocked on the door several times before trying the handle, it opened effortlessly. It wasn't the first time he'd managed to let himself into her apartment and he made a mental note to order her to start locking it, for the sake of his sanity.

'Peyton?!' He looked around sheepishly. It was quiet, too quiet for his liking and his wild imagination had notified him of all the possible horrific scenarios that could greet him. He took an obvious sigh of relief when he turned the corner into the living area, getting a visual on the curly haired blonde. 'Thank god' He muttered to himself.

'Let me guess, Brooke called you' Peyton assumed, her gaze diverting to him for the briefest of moments in way of acknowledgement.

'Worse, she came found me'

'Wow, I'm sorry' She offered him a small smile.

'I can handle her' He sat down beside her. 'What's up Peyt?'

She let out a heavy breath, not one of aggravation but literally at the sound of his voice put together with the shorter version of her name. 'It's nothing, I'm just, I just feel like having a day to myself'

'Now if only that were true'

Her hands found their way round her legs and she rested her head upon her knees as she looked up at him through long eye lashes.

'Shouldn't you be working?' It wasn't said with animosity, more curiosity.

'Yeah, Brooke's got Julian wrapped around her little finger though'

'Of course'

'She's worried, you're not answering your phone'

'No' She agreed. The irritating cell had been turned off and chucked across the apartment when it had buzzed for the hundredth time.

'I was worried. What's wrong?' He shifted closer, her sombre expression warranting his arm to move around her in a side hug.

She uncharacteristically lent into him and Lucas wasn't deaf to the shaky breath that broke free from her quivering bottom lip. Her state did little to stop his apparent worry.

'Peyton, you can tell me anything'

She'd never shown him this side of her and it scared him. He needed her to be the strong invincible Peyton that he bickered with so frequently. 'Baby' He gently pulled her hair behind her ear and left a lingering kiss to her forehead. 'Talk to me' He insisted gruffly this time.

'Layla Vermont' She finally indulged him. The name coming out surprisingly even, apparently she'd managed to compose herself in the last sixty seconds. She sat upright, putting some space between them.

'The model?'

'The model' She confirmed curtly.

'Er, she's doing the shoot too?' He could only assume.

'Right'

Lucas watched her, trying his best to understand what was going on in her head. 'You're, you're jealous?'

Her eyes jolted to him, her glare suggesting that that most definitely wasn't the case.

'No, you think I'm that fucking vain?' She glowered.

'No, no, of course not I just, I don't understand' He admitted quickly.

Peyton stood up and ventured over to her beloved piano, her hand skimming over the smooth top in nothing but a loving caress.

'She's a year older than me, one year and my dad was fucking her last summer' She spat out vehemently.

His mouth inevitably opened and a silence loomed. Lucas struggled to digest that sudden bit of information and when the void became too big, Peyton's head swivelled to see his reaction. His facial expression hadn't changed much in the last few minutes, his jaw was still hanging low and his brow knitted together, whether in confusion or pure disgust Peyton wasn't quite sure.

'Yeah exactly' She nodded, his stunned face really did sum it up. 'Did I mention my family's screwed up?'

He swallowed, shaking himself from his unhelpful stupor. 'That's...'

'Gross? Utterly and completely wrong?' She shuddered with disdain and he immediately stood up, the need to comfort and protect her was overwhelming.

'God Peyton I'm sorry-'

She took a little step back wavering her hand to stop the embrace that he had every intention of swaddling her in.

'I don't blame him, I don't blame him for all the infidelities- I know I'm meant to hate him for it, I mean, growing up there was more than one time where I was used as a pawn in his deceit. I should hate him for that, for letting me see, for making me carry around those lies' She took a much in need breath.

He couldn't begin to imagine the effects of this burden. It was yet another well kept secret of the Wolf family, another secret that, judging by her flustered face, he was confident she'd not told another soul. A secret that was without a doubt, a fundamental explanation to her disdain and avid disbelief in love. It was a deafening awakening to her relationship issues.

'I can hardly blame him, not when his wife is my fucking screwed up mother' She muttered.

'Peyton' Lucas forcefully grabbed her unsettled hands.

'I can't pose standing next to _her_- I just, I can't. She's been with my dad' She shivered. 'I can't, I can't-'

'Hey, it's okay. No one is making you do anything' Lucas interjected sternly. 'I'll ring Brooke. I'll tell her'

'Lucas' She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip, her breaths coming in sporadic bouts. 'This can't get out'

'Do you trust me?' He asked tenderly, his eyes trained on hers.

Her eye lashes flickered as her lids closed off the troubled pools of green below.

'Peyton?' He urged softly. He couldn't say it didn't hurt a little, the fact that she still wasn't one hundred percent sure that she could trust him.

'Yes' She resolved with a little curt nod.

His cooler fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. 'I trust Brooke and I promise you she won't tell anyone'

* * *

'Thanks for doing this Brooke'

'It was no biggy, it wasn't much of a deliberation really. Peyton Wolf or Layla Vermont?'

He laughed. 'I guess not, so what did you tell Layla Vermont?' Lucas asked out of interest as he stood with Brooke. Her foul mood had changed for the better since he'd last seen her.

'I told her I don't have sluts working for my company' She answered simply.

Lucas raised his brow disbelievingly.

'Okay, well maybe a politer version, but you get the gist' She smiled up at him. 'Thank you by the way, you kind of saved my ass today'

He shook his head.

'At least I definitely know my Snow Queen has a heart' She joked.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

'Speaking of, has she given it to you yet?'

'I'm still working on it' He grumbled, running his hand through his hair.

'Hang in there buddy' She squeezed his arm.

'Miss Davis, we're about to start'

Brooke grinned excitedly at him 'Come, this photo shoot will definitely cheer you up!'

* * *

Peyton slid her ballet flats off, leaving them at the foot of his made bed.

'You kind of saved me today Lucas Scott' She said quietly, the pale green of the walls made her eyes seem ever greener.

'Saved you?'

'In a metaphoric sense' She quickly looked away. 'Thank you'

'Wow? Did you actually just say thank you? Thank you?'

She shoved him. 'I know I'm a bitch, there's no need to rub it in'

'I didn't say that' He took her forearms, his thumbs grazing over the bare skin just below her shoulders.

'You don't need to-'

'You're not a bitch Peyton, in fact I think you're quite the opposite'

Her lips curled upward in a slight, bashful smile and then she was sliding past him, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks.

He saw.

'I like your room' She averted her attention to the surrounding space. 'It feels...homey' It had changed dramatically since she'd first stood in what had been an empty room with nothing but a bed, since their all night unpacking stint the whole apartment looked different.

'Thank you' His smile was one of amusement as he watched her drop onto the double bed, her small frame bouncing once before she threw her arms back and stretched out like a cat, her eyes closed.

'I like your bed'

'I like you on my bed' He chortled.

She opened one eye, a demure smile touching her lips.

'Did you enjoy the shoot?' She fingered the soft sheets beneath her as she studied the ceiling.

His feet thumped lightly as he walked the two paces to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress beside her svelte form. 'Watching you posing in a bunch of swim suits? What wasn't there to like?'

'Which one did you like best?'

He squinted at her, her mischievous tone and lack of eye contact was unsettling.

'The dark red, crimson thing, definitely. You looked...' His hand slid over her stomach, settling at her side. His mouth had gone dry at the mental image. 'I have no words'

She adjusted her head on the pillow and he let his eyes flutter down her neckline. Her skin was still all oily from the photo shoot and shimmering enticingly.

'I thought so'

'You thought so huh?'

'Uhuh, you went all squinty'

'Squinty? I don't squint?'

'Yes' She corrected. 'Yes you do'

'I do not'

She shook her head and bit down on her grinning bottom lip. 'Yes' Her hand shifted from the bed to her thigh. 'You' Lucas' intense stare followed her slow movements as she tugged the floral material of her dress up her leg. 'Do' His mouth opened and his eyes scrunched up predictably as the crimson of the bikini briefs came into view.

'Oh dear god' There was no hope. He'd lasted this past week so well, he'd kept to his word when he'd said no sex until she conceded to his little requirement. He'd barely touched her, which I might add was a task within it's self, in fear of loosing control of his insatiable lust for her.

His dark eyes lazily found their way to her face. 'That's just' He swallowed. 'That's just cruel'

'Why?' She asked innocently.

'You fucking know why' He more or less pounced on her, he abruptly gripped her hip and shifted himself over her, his mouth covering hers instantly.

A gasp followed by a loud moan from deep in her throat resounded against his lips as their tongues battled.

She'd missed this.

It had been just seven days but she could safely say she'd missed this closeness, it was like a drug, she'd had a taste for it and she never wanted it to stop. It couldn't stop, it just couldn't.

He didn't want it to stop but he was the one that pulled away, panting heavily.

'Peyton-'

'We're just kissing Luke' She cut him off dismissively, uninterested to his objections.

'I can't just kiss you' He complained, a fact she was well aware of as his hands groped up and down her torso.

'You don't have to just kiss me' She enlightened him gleefully while her fingers did their own eager exploring.

He groaned into her neck as she shifted her limbs to more comfortably accommodate him above her. 'You're not playing fair' He informed her gruffly when one of her legs found it's way around him, pulling him closer.

'We're just kissing Luke'

He looked at her through burning eyes. 'You're making this a dangerous game'

'Am I?' Her eyebrow kinked playfully as she rocked her body oh so slowly against him. She was confident, and she had every right to be but he wasn't stupid, he could play her game too.

He suppressed a whimper at the delightful friction. The last week had been nothing but hell and he was certain he deserved a medal for his amazing self control.

'I can play too' He husked into her ear.

She was going to reply, she had a witty remark on the tip of her tongue but his hand that had been safely interlocked with hers had suddenly broke free, sliding it's way between their bodies to the one place she craved him most. She almost sobbed when he touched her.

He kissed her lips again and she was too distracted this time to notice the wicked glint in his eyes. She was completely at his command, not to say he wasn't completely dominated by every movement and sound that emitted from her. His fingers worked skillfully against the nylon, intent on satisfying her. Her dress was completely scrunched up at her waist and he adoringly circled her belly button with butterfly kisses.

'You're, you're so good at, at this' She rasped, her head thrown back in utter bliss.

'Yeah?' He whispered back with a sly grin, he let a finger skim teasingly beneath the material and she whimpered but then, in a blink of an eye, in one instant his hand was gone 'I'm thirsty, I'm going to go get a drink' He was off and away from her in less than a second. 'Want anything?'

Her face was screwed up in discomfort and it pained him maybe just as much as her. 'Don't you dare-'

'Just say it' He interrupted, pausing in his exit. He waited patiently for her to give in.

'Lucas' She gritted her teeth in exasperation.

'Okay, I'm going to grab that drink'

'Urgh' She rolled onto her stomach, throwing her head into the pillow. 'I hate you!'

Her cheeks were still flushed and her dress creased when she staggered out of the room just minutes later. She peered around the fridge watching him pour himself a glass of orange juice.

'Look I, I promise' She took a heavy breath. 'If it bothers you that much I, I guess I can promise not to see anyone else'

Lucas put his glass down, a smug grin on his face.

Peyton on the other hand, found the floor to be of interest.

'Are you committing yourself to me Peyton Wolf?'

'No' She snapped suddenly, her gaze jerking to him. That's what she couldn't handle. Commitment. She wouldn't be obligated to him.

'But you won't see anyone else?'

'Right. That doesn't mean you get any say in anything I do, you don't get to hold my hand in public, or at all actually. You don't buy me presents, we don't celebrate birthday's or Christmas's together, there's no family gatherings-'

'So basically every thing's the same as it already is?'

'No. I said I won't see anyone else- that's what you want right?'

'No-'

'You want me to see other people?'

'No' He exclaimed harshly. 'No. But you're already not seeing other people. I want you Peyton. I just want you, all of you. I want to know everything about you and I want to go places with you and I want to hold your hand'

'Lucas-'

'I know, I know right? You can't do that'

'Maybe I should go' She suggested despondently.

'No' He slammed his hand down against the side board in frustration. 'Jesus Peyton, I'm not your fucking father, I'm not going to screw around behind you're back-'

Her face turned to stone and blanched. 'What?'

'You heard'

'It's got nothing to do with that' She growled lowly.

'I think it does, you may not even be aware of it but it really does.'

'I'm going' She turned.

'When I was in my last year of high school my father shot my uncle' He shouted after her.

Peyton halted, her back to him.

'You're not the only one with a screwed up family Peyton' His voice was gentle this time, he needed her to see that they weren't so different, that the idea of them being together wasn't completely unfathomable.

She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

'I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking for a chance' He walked over to her rigid form, one hand sliding round her waist and pulling her back against his taut chest, while the other ran delicately down her arm. 'I've never been able to tell anyone what my father did, you're the first' He admitted softly, leaving a lingering kiss on her shoulder. 'I trust you, I want to tell you everything'

'I don't know how to be a girlfriend Lucas, I, I've never, I've never really been in a relationship' She gulped out, almost inaudibly.

He smiled softly into her hair. 'I'll walk you through it, we'll take baby steps'

'I'm screwed up more than you know'

'Everyone's screwed up Peyton, I'm screwed up. We can be screwed up together' He turned her gently, tilting her head up at him. 'Say it'

She swallowed. 'I, I'll' She exhaled loudly through her nose.

'Yes?'

There was a lengthy pause.

'I, I'll be. I'll be your girlfriend'


	11. Baby Steps

**A/N** Thanks for all the love. Apologies yet again for the slow updates. xXx

Peyton's long dark lashes fluttered momentarily before her golden speckled green eyes came into view.

Her body jerked back in surprise at the two bright blue irises staring intently at her.

She sighed heavily. 'You know, I really do find it disturbing when you do that' Peyton murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

'Do what?' He smirked, idly toying with the halo of blonde curls splayed out around her head.

'Stare at me while I'm sleeping' She yawned loudly and rubbed her eyes. 'And it's rude'

'Rude?' He snorted. 'I'll refrain from admiring how beautiful you are in future'

She shuffled onto her side. 'Good'

He stared at her adoringly for a long moment causing a crimson blush to quickly fill her cheeks 'Stop it' She shoved at his chest.

'What?!'

'Don't do it while I'm awake either' She complained.

'So I can't look at you at all?'

'Not like that'

He shifted closer, an amused smile playing on his lips. 'You better get use to it' He found it more than entertaining that she seemed incapable of taking a complement from him, considering she was a model and told on a regular basis how beautiful she was. She was no stranger to getting gawped at and was certainly no amateur when it came to modelling. Her confidence was intimidating at times but he was quickly realising that it was just him. Only him that could successfully entice that alluring blush onto her cheeks, no one else, just him.

She bit on her bottom lip, letting out a disgruntled murmur as she buried her head in his chest, hastily avoiding his intense blue eyes. She couldn't even begin to try and comprehend the sheer magnitude of emotion that was harboured within them. To say she was scared was a massive understatement. She couldn't possibly try to fathom the depth of his feelings for her. She didn't want to try to process it, she didn't want to see what he so clearly held for her, she didn't want to start thinking about scary words, terrifying words, words like _love._ She couldn't. She couldn't because that would make this all too real and she was still struggling to get her head around the major step they'd taken just hours ago. She was still trying to adjust to the fact that she was in a relationship, that she had a boyfriend, that she was Lucas Scott's girlfriend.

His Raven's shirt that she was currently adorned in, swamping her smaller frame, was driving him insane. The neck had slid off of one of her shoulders and Lucas couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from the inviting patch of skin.

He was a little surprised when she was suddenly sitting upright and sliding from the warmth of the bed.

'Hey, where're you going?'

'I just said I'm going to the bathroom' She repeated with a roll of the eyes.

He watched his shirt fall midway down her thighs as she stood and his mouth was suddenly dry.

'Come back' He pleaded.

'I'll be one minute'.

She did a little gallop across his bedroom and he laughed as she disappeared into the adjoining en-suite, burying his head in the pillow, he could smell her on the bedsheets and he groaned softly. Considering her anxiety and lack of enthusiasm over their relationship Lucas was trying to calm his jubilant feelings in fear of making her jump ship before they'd even set sail.

The ringing cell on the bedside table tore him from his giddy state. He sat up, stretching clumsily across the mattress for the offending item. Without so much as another thought he pressed the little green button and spoke. 'Hello, Peyton's phone....No, she's in the bathroom can I get her to call you back in a minute....yes-'

'What're you doing?'

Lucas' eyes jerked to Peyton, a very disgruntled Peyton.

She hurried toward him, swiftly snatching her cell from his hand. He watched her in befuddlement as she distanced herself and attended to the caller. 'No, no Kate, he's just a delivery guy, touching things that aren't his' She looked at him pointedly. 'Yeah, no I haven't forgotten....Yes okay....uhuh...okay, I'll speak to you later....yeah, bye' The brief call ended, along with her quelled anger. 'Don't do that ever again' She hissed, her hand wavering threateningly in his direction.

Lucas' brow knitted together, nonunderstanding to her annoyance 'Sorry, you were in the bathroom-'

'So? You should've just let it go to voicemail'

'I'm...sorry?' He rubbed the back of his neck as he considered the glower on her face. 'I was just trying to help'

'Well don't' She snapped resolutely, followed by a heavy sigh.

Her stare gingerly found his saddened face and she pinched the bridge of her nose, her own face crumpling. 'I'm sorry' She mumbled. 'I'm being a bitch'

'A little' He confirmed, the right side of his mouth curling into a lopsided smile.

'I just- it's best if you don't answer my phone. It just creates unwanted questions' She informed him diplomatically. 'That was my agent' She exhaled, sinking back onto the bed.

'I understand' He assured her. 'But wouldn't it be wise to make sure your agent knows about us?' He asked tactfully.

Her little grimace at the _us_ reference didn't go unnoticed but he calmly ignored it.

'You don't know Kate. She's a pretty avid believer of no relationships- they complicate matters'

He raised his brow.

'She's right about that' Peyton grumbled.

He pushed her back onto the bed, shaking his head. 'It's been twelve hours and you're already moaning' He nudged her legs apart, settling himself between them. 'I know you're inexperienced so I'm going to walk you through this step by step'

She frowned, unwelcoming his condescending tone.

He smiled back, kissing the side of her mouth. 'This' He husked. 'Is currently the honeymoon stage'

Her forehead crinkled, clearly perplexed by his explanation.

'You're meant to be all blissed out and happy and we're meant to spend every second of our time together just making out' He reiterated. 'So no more pouting'

She scowled stubbornly to which he responded with a tickle to her sides.

'No pouting' He repeated sternly.

She wriggled furiously, the pout diminishing, transforming into a wide smile and accompanied by a very girlish giggle.

'Lucas!'

Her delightful writhing beneath him soon encouraged his fingers to stop their torturous game, instead favouring a more pleasurable exploration of the strip of skin that her risen shirt was now so wonderfully displaying. She inhaled exaggeratedly, trying to fill her lungs but his wandering hands did nothing to assist her laboured breaths. 'I think you need a demonstration' His palm swooped across the waistband of her underwear, his mouth simultaneously covering hers in a very bold illustration of what he'd declared as their honeymoon stage.

She pulled back suddenly, her eyes screwed up. 'Just making out?' She queried in a whining tone, clearly unhappy if his plan was to merely torture her and leave her in the lurch like the previous evening.

His darkened blue eyes focused on her heaving chest. 'Well generally yeah but considering we've already obliterated that step, I'm sure we can surpass the just making out bit' He smirked, hitching her leg firmly round his waist. She whimpered. 'What do you reckon?'

Her nimble fingers held his face, fiercely tugging his head back to hers. 'I don't know, I might need you to show me how. Apparently I'm inexperienced' She husked.

'Mmm' His nose brushed against hers as he nodded. 'Maybe we should go slow' A part of him really did want to wait before they did this again but he was past the point of justifying reasons why.

'Not slow' She pressed against his shoulders and the force took him by surprise, causing him to loose his balance, falling back against the mattress with her straddling him. 'I'm a quick learner' She swiftly tugged his Raven's tee over her head and he actually groaned out loud.

'God, you're beautiful'

'Lucas' She rolled her eyes. 'You can quit it with the complements, you've got me in your bed'

He abruptly grabbed her forearms, forcefully switching their positions back, with her trapped beneath him.

He was going to make sure this was different to all the other times. It already was. She was his girlfriend and he didn't want this to be quick, he wanted it to be the complete opposite. He wanted to show how special she was.

'Lucas' She whined at the sudden loss of control.

He pinned her hands above her head. 'Shhh' He kissed his way up her neck, pausing at her ear. 'We're doing this slow'

'I don't want slow'

'I promise you, you do'

* * *

'I need to get up' Peyton drawled, making no attempt to move. It was late afternoon and she was sure there were things she should be doing but the warm comfort of Lucas Scott's bed was just far too appealing. He'd worn her out and he'd been right about one thing, she did like it slow. It had been completely different, good different, amazing different. Her mind was completely frazzled with trying to comprehend the immense pleasure that this man was capable of bestowing upon her.

His fingers feathered over her thigh. 'You're not going anywhere'

He chuckled when she didn't argue, instead willingly curling herself into him.

'What do you think about maybe going to a basket ball game with me tonight?' He proposed suddenly.

'Basket ball?' Her neck craned as she looked at him.

'Yeah, it's a sport'

'I know what it is'

He dodged the pillow that she attempted to thrust in his face, effortlessly confiscating her weapon and tossing it to the floor.

While he was distracted, she took the opportunity to slip from his lair, scanning the room for her clothes.

'What do you say?' He laughed, watching her trip into her underwear.

'Er, well, are there going to be loads of people?' Her voice was muffled as she tugged her dress over her head.

'Usually there is, it's a big game'

'Right, like an event where I could be noticed? Where paparazzi could find me?'

'I can make you blend in just fine, I'll keep you hidden'

She chewed on the side of her mouth. 'I don't know'

'Come on, it'll be fun' His childish begging had her smiling. 'Please? I'll even buy you a foam finger'

She rolled her eyes. 'Is basket ball like an obsession of yours or something?'

He laughed. 'I guess you could say it plays a big part in my life, I've played since I was a little kid'

'You play?' Her eyebrows raised.

'Just for fun, every now and then, in high school it was like my whole world though'

'It's a game' She scraped her hair back into a messy bun.

'It's not just a game Peyton, it's far more than just a game' He announced defensively, sitting upright with a very serious expression to which she smirked at him in amusement.

'Okay, okay, fine. We'll go watch you're _game_'

'Yeah?' His eyes lit up.

'Yeah, but I'm going now' She migrated toward the door.

'You don't have to go-'

'Yeah, I do' She smiled at him over her shoulder. 'I'll see you later'

'Don't I even get a kiss?' He whined.

'Nope' She shook her head wickedly, disappearing from sight. 'Goodbye Luke'

'You know I still don't think you understand the honeymoon stage!'

* * *

Lucas glanced at Peyton with a bemused smile. Her head was tilted toward the ground, her hoody concealing her face and her leather jacket sleeves covering her hands. 'I think your safe' He whispered teasingly, as the crowd erupted into another cheer.

She looked at him, clearly aggravated by the whole situation. 'You didn't tell me this was a televised event Luke'

'They're all televised- did you think we were going to some high school game?' He chuckled.

'This isn't funny'

'No one's looking at you' He told her seriously, yanking her hood from her head.

'Luke!' She frantically pulled it back up.

'You're fine, look around'

She did, he had a point. Every face was focused on the court below.

'Relax' he wiggled his brow at her, sliding a blue foam finger onto her hand. 'Right, now we want the guys in blue to win' He told her simply. 'When they get a ball through the hoop we get a point-'

'I get how it works' She glowered, averting her eyes to the manic game going on. The commentator's voice sounded loudly. _Nathan Scott scores again!_ A replay was shown on the great big screen and her eyes scanned the player.

'Nathan Scott' Peyton peered up at Lucas from under her hoody 'That wouldn't by any chance happen to be a relation of yours would it?' She asked dully, she already knew the answer. They weren't what she'd describe as similar but there was something uncannily familiar about the athletic Scott that was currently dunking the ball through the net again, that together with Lucas' unhidden enthusiasm for the brunette had her eying him suspiciously.

'Er, as it happens, Nate's my brother, half brother, same dad different mum' He rambled.

'Luke' She hissed.

'What?'

'You know what. You tricked me'

'I did no such thing' He exclaimed.

She stood up.

'Where're you going?'

'Home'

He grabbed her arm, tugging her back into her seat. 'Peyton'

'I'm not meeting your brother Lucas'

'Peyton-'

'Baby steps, you said baby steps, this isn't baby steps'

'I've met both your dad and mum' He pointed out.

'Yeah, I'm sure my mother remembers that meeting' She droned sarcastically. 'And none of those were through my choice'

'Please' He pouted and fluttered his eye lashes at her. 'It's no big deal'

'It's a fucking big deal' She begged to differ, clearly undeterred by his comical expressions.

'It's really not- it's not my Mum, it's my brother'

'Luke' She whimpered.

'Please? It's honestly no big deal, I won't introduce you as my girlfriend or anything, just a friend, if that's what you want'

She scrunched her eyes closed, letting out a heavy breath through her nose. Another cheer erupted around them as Nathan Scott scored yet again.

'Please?'

'Fine, fine' She snapped, eyes opening. Lucas grinned, she really did look funny, arms crossed, pout on her face and blue foam finger in hand, she really didn't look like the enthusiastic fan. She wavered the oversized, blue index finger threateningly at him 'But this is the last time I'm coming to a basket ball game with you'

* * *

'Come on' Lucas all but tugged Peyton's resisting form across the now empty court.

'Luke I'm not sure, I don't think-' Her objections were cut off when Nathan Scott suddenly noted his brother's presence.

'Big brother, you came' He clapped Lucas on the back.

'Hey'

'How's it going man?'

'Good. Great game Nate'

Nathan nodded in agreement, his stare inevitably moving on to the much more interesting beauty that was hovering nervously.

'Nate this is Peyton' Lucas introduced.

The younger brother's eyes widened somewhat as he eyed the blonde. 'I fucking know who she is Luke'

'Nate' He groaned.

'Sorry, sorry' He shook his head, smiling widely. 'I'm sorry Peyton, just a little surprised over here'

She nodded, his reaction was nothing in comparison with some peoples' response. 'It's nice to meet you'

'The pleasures all mine' He husked.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

'How's Hale's and Jamie?'

Nathan regrettably focused back on his brother. 'They're good, Hales is getting sick of me being away but I'll be home by tomorrow' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Speaking of which- when are you going to come home for a visit?'

'I'm really busy at the minute' Lucas regrettably informed him.

'I can see that' Nathan winked in Peyton's direction.

'We're just friends' She was quick to declare.

Nathan looked between them bemusedly. 'Do you two want to go get a drink somewhere? I've got a couple of hours before my flight'

'Peyt?' Lucas looked at her for an answer, he'd been the one that convinced her to come on this outing and he knew she was less than impressed and the last thing he wanted was to annoy her further by dragging her out for drinks when she just wanted to escape. Her gaze flickered between the two Scott brothers and then she was nodding.

'Er, sure'

Peyton shifted in her seat, she wasn't use to this. She was in a bar, surrounded by people but yet not one person's eyes had lingered on her. The fact that there wasn't a group of paparazzi lurking outside was a rarity in itself. The fact that she'd not been approached once the entire evening was astounding. She felt as though she were in some alternate universe, a universe that she liked a little too much. Lucas grinned at her from the bar before turning to order them some drinks.

'So, I've got to ask, how on earth did my big brother convince you to go out with him' Nathan wasted no time in prying.

Peyton slipped her hood from her head, fully revealing her pretty face to Nathan. 'We're not-'

'Don't even try to tell me you're not fucking him, I know when my brother's getting laid'

Her cheeks reddened but she was quick to recover, smiling confidently. 'There was a lot of persuasion, believe me'

'He can be quite persuasive' Nathan chortled.

She shrugged a shoulder. 'I'm working for Brooke- you might know-'

'I know her' He nodded with an amused smirk. 'She's a good friend'

'Right'

'Which is why I'm surprised that I don't already know about this, Brooke isn't one to keep her mouth shut'

'Apparently she is when it's important' Peyton realised. The idea that she could actually trust and rely on the fashion designer sent a unrecognizable thrill through the blonde and Nathan's evident surprise at the lack of gossip that had been sent in his direction was proof enough that perhaps Brooke Davis' loyalty was something to treasure.

'Apparently so' He was more than befuddled. He narrowed his eyes as the next words crept out of his mouth. This was the part where the girl usually went running in the other direction. 'Since our dad shot our uncle, Lucas hasn't been quite himself' He expected shock to transpire across her pretty face but instead she sadly averted her eyes to the table. 'He told you?'

She nodded uncomfortably.

Nathan looked confusedly toward his brother, realisation hitting him in the form of a deep frown. He was surprised to say the least that he'd shared something so personal. This wasn't a fling. The fact that this girl was a famous model wasn't the only difference to every other woman Lucas had seen in the past few years. This wasn't just sex. That startling revelation struck him full force.

'Wow' He muttered.

'I'm sorry' Peyton apologised sincerely.

'No, no, it's fine' Nathan found his voice again. 'It was a long time ago now'

'I can't imagine that's something you can easily get over'

'No, but I dealt with it, I had Haley. Keith was more of a father to Lucas than our actual Dad, he found it harder'

He watched a pained expression find it's way onto her face as her stare averted to an approaching Lucas.

'What's with the glum faces?' He queried as he reached their table, setting down three beers.

'Nothing' Nathan dismissed with a devious smile. 'Just telling Peyton how I completely slaughtered your ass at basket ball in High School'

'That's not true' Lucas defended. 'That's not true' He addressed Peyton this time, to find her smile back. 'It's not'

'I believe you' She purred unconvincingly, her smile faltered though as something distracted her behind them, her stomach turned. She'd known it was too good to be true. 'I need to go' She abruptly stood, hood back in place.

'What? What's wrong?' Lucas' head turned to follow her narrowed eyes, coming face to face with a camera lens. He gritted his teeth, an unexplainable fury seeping through his veins. When the inevitable flash came, it still stunned him, blinding him and simultaneously affirming everything he'd been so desperately trying to convince Peyton wouldn't happen tonight. It froze him, illuminating the world he'd entered, a world where there was no privacy, where people crossed the line on a regular basis, the idyllic world of the celebrity, a world that many craved. Only Lucas didn't crave it, he didn't want this, he just wanted the girl, the girl that had already disappeared from sight, expertly vanished from view, leaving insignificant him alone once more.


	12. Tree Hill

Peyton let herself into Brooke Davis' office, side stepping round some half dressed mannequins to get to the comfy leather chair.

'That's gorgeous' She murmured, fingering a silky green dress as she past.

'Uhuh, designed just for you' Brooke winked up from the papers sprawled out on her desk, noting the blonde's lit up eyes. 'It's your premier dress for Ravens' She elaborated.

'Brooke it's not even in post production yet' Peyton laughed.

'I was inspired' The designer shrugged a shoulder indifferently. 'So slut...' She kinked an eyebrow, a tormenting smirk curling her red painted lips. 'I hear you're sleeping with Nathan Scott?' She tossed the offending newspaper across the room at a suddenly sulking Peyton. 'You know you better watch yourself, Haley James Scott is fierce-'

'Oh my god, is she mad?'

Brooke frowned, averting her eyes back to the concerned girl, apparently confused by her distress. These displays in actual emotion were becoming less of a rarity in her presence, something Brooke was adjusting to slowly; her ice queen really was melting. 'Er, I was joking' She droned. 'I know you're not fucking Nate. You're not fucking Nate right? Cause I might have to kill you if-'

'No!' Peyton cried. 'I was with Lucas' She prodded her finger at the stunned face of Lucas Scott, who was apparently not worthy of being mentioned in the article, the main focus being on the star basket ball player's hook up with the famous model.

'I know and I heard things were going just peachy until you bailed' Brooke laughed.

'I didn't fancy being mauled by the paparazzi okay?'

'But you had Lucas Scott there to protect you' She said dramatically.

'Don't start' Peyton whined. Lucas wasn't returning her calls and was clearly less than impressed at being walked out on. 'I'm here to _work_'

'Uhuh. I'm aware. As your boss it's my job to interfere with your personal life though'

'As your employee, it's my job to tell you to keep your nose out of my fucking business'

'Honey, you're sleeping with one of my best friends, that's not going to happen' She enlightened her matter of factly.

Peyton groaned exaggeratedly, slouching further down into the leather seat.

'If it makes you feel any better, Nate really liked you'

Peyton's interest peaked, her stare leaving her hands. 'He said that?'

'Well, he apparently told Hales that you were pretty cool' Brooke teased. 'I put her right'

'Bitch!' Peyton exclaimed.

'Whore' Brooke spat back, the both of them grinning mischievously.

'Not that it matters what Luke's brother thinks of me, considering Luke hates me' Peyton sighed a moment later, returning to wallowing in self pity.

'Lucas doesn't hate you, he just wants to be with you Peyton, without all the shit that comes with it'

'I know, but I can't stop that, it comes with me'

'You don't have to hide your relationship from the world'

'Brooke I've never' She looked down in humiliation. 'I've never had a relationship, it's destined for disaster if I flaunt it everywhere'

'I'm not telling you to flaunt it, but imagine how it must seem to Luke, he thinks you're ashamed to be seen with him'

'It's not that-'

'I know it's not, but he doesn't'

Peyton dropped her head into her hands, 'God he should just look for someone else, he could do so much better-'

'I've told him that' Brooke interrupted nonchalantly, earning a glower from the riled blonde. 'He's hell bent on your skinny ass for reasons unbeknown to me'

Peyton reached for the nearest object, tossing a hanger in the chirpy brunettes direction.

Brooke sprung from her desk to avoid being speared by the flying object.

'Really _not_ helping' Peyton murmured.

Brooke laughed, joining her on the leather two seat. 'Why don't you take a few days off?'

'What?' Peyton's head snapped up. 'I've got work'

'Well I just gave you a paid holiday'

'Brooke' Peyton contended. 'I-'

'I've got two tickets to Tree Hill, I was going to take Julian there but we're both too busy with work at the minute-'

'Brooke seriously, I'm fine I don't need to go anywhere-'

'I'm ordering you to go, I've already passed it by Julian, he said he can spare Lucas for a few days-'

'Wait, you want me to go away with Lucas?' Her eyes had grown excessively in the last few seconds.

Brooke nodded slowly, a patronising smirk gracing her lips. 'That's the idea'

'Did you not just hear the bit about him hating me?'

'I thought we just clarified that he doesn't hate you'

'No'

'No?'

'No way. Going away together, that's like... serious'

'Jesus, you've been together nearly three months, it's hardly out of this world to want to spend some time alone together'

'We've been together two days Brooke, two days and I hate to break it to you but so far, not going so well' Peyton felt obliged to correct her.

'Officially two days. Non officially, three months' Brooke protested. 'And things are going to be going just swimmingly when you turn up at his place with these' She produced two tempting tickets from her bag, holding them under the blondes' nose. 'You're going to love Tree Hill, it's beautiful and a one hundred percent guaranteed paparazzi free zone'

* * *

Peyton worried her bottom lip, clammy hands clenching together as she stared at the black door with a gold painted number _12_ fixed in the centre. She briefly wondered about the strange coincidence that his apartment number was the same as her birthday, not that he knew that. Her mind continued to drift as she wondered when his own birthday was to what his middle name was, to the painful details of the murder his father had committed. She found herself surprisingly anxious to find out all of the specifics regarding all things Lucas Scott. Which was perhaps the thought that drove her little bawled fist to raise and wrap against the black wood.

It didn't take long for him to answer.

Her eyes mechanically swept down him. He was wearing some sweatpants and a crumpled white tee that she was quick to assume he'd slept in.

'Hey' She greeted sheepishly.

He didn't respond, he turned around leaving her in the doorway.

'Okay' She hesitantly followed him into the apartment. 'You're upset' She stated obviously.

'Not upset, I'm fine'

'No, you're upset' She disagreed.

'I'm fine' He forced a bright, insincere smile.

'I'm, I'm sorry okay?' She exhaled heavily through her nose, apologising wasn't something she found herself doing all that often and it didn't come easily.

'For what exactly?'

She scowled. She appreciated that he was upset but his feigned nonchalance was starting to annoy her. 'For last night' She snapped. 'I'm sorry I just left. I'm sorry I left you there and I'm just, I'm sorry' She blurted, her hands wavering expressively in front of her.

'Oh, that' He shrugged. 'No big deal'

'Well it clearly is considering you've been dodging my calls all day!' She exclaimed. 'It's not entirely my fault okay? You don't know what it's like. You've not lived with it for your whole life'

'I'm quite aware. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like and it actually angers me more than you know, that you have to deal with that but we could've left together, you didn't have to storm out'

'I did!'

He nodded glumly. 'Right, because you can't be seen with someone like me'

Her eyes widened. Brooke's assumptions were clearly very much accurate. 'That's not it, that's so _not _it' She cried loudly. 'Lucas, I-I...' She trailed off, raking her hand through her tresses of curls. 'Is it so wrong for me wanting to protect you, for me wanting to protect this' She gestured between them with a heavy sigh. '_They_ already have so much influence over what people think of me. _They_ have so much power and I just, I don't want them to have this, it's, it's just ours' She confessed, her voice wavering. Lucas watched her, certain that she was on the verge of tears, something he most definitely didn't want to witness, especially if he was the cause.

'I'm sorry' He husked, his hand curling around her smaller fist in understanding. 'You're right' She lent into his inviting chest, the warmth of his body soothing her tense form.

She could hear his heart thrumming softly through his t-shirt.

'You can't get it back, once you enter the world of celebrity you'll never be able to have _this _life that you have back. You have to decide if you want it' She stressed. She wouldn't be the person to take away his serene life, to end what he knew of the word privacy. She considered what he had as far too precious. 'I'm not ashamed to be seen with you' She whispered against him. 'You know that right? I don't think I'm better than you Lucas' She shook her head vigorously to get her point across. 'You, you're so much better than me'

He snorted. 'Now you're just talking nonsense' He rubbed her back.

'I'm not' She tilted her head to look up at him. 'You, you intimidate me'

'I intimidate you?' He squinted disbelievingly at her. 'You're fucking Peyton Wolf!'

'So? You're so smart' She fired back. 'And confident and self assured and, and beautiful'

'You think I'm beautiful?' He grinned boyishly down at her.

'I'm being serious'

'I know' His smirk softened and he cupped her cheeks. 'I'm sorry, it's just you're insane, because you just described yourself to me' His thumbs followed her pronounced cheek bones.

'No, I'm just a model Lucas'

'No' He shook his head.

'Okay you're delusional if you hadn't noticed what I do for a living yet' She frowned.

He rolled his eyes at her sarcastic drawl. 'I'm well aware of what you do for a living sweetheart. What I meant was that, that's the last thing I think of when I'm thinking of you. You're so much more than just a model' He declared sincerely.

Her eyes flickered to her hands that were fiddling with his shirt, eager to avoid _that_ intense stare he was giving her again. She thought, that perhaps no one had ever said anything quite so nice to her before.

Her lack of eye contact meant that his kiss came as a bit of a surprise. She reflexively stumbled backward but his large hands at her hips kept her steady.

It was like no other kiss she'd experienced. She'd be lying if she didn't say that all of Lucas' kisses left her light headed and all together weak at the knees but this kiss, this was on a completely different level of amazing. It was sweet yes, sexy as hell, yes but there was also something else that she found completely disarming and endearing at the same time. It was painfully slow and deliberate. With every caress of their tongues entwining he managed to convey his utter devotion to her.

Just kissing was still something she was getting use to. Usually when she kissed someone it was with every intention of going somewhere else entirely. Clothes would be ripped off. Kisses dissociated with sex were something new entirely.

Her eyes stayed firmly shut when he eventually pulled away. Her body was thrumming from head to foot and she shuddered irrepressibly as his thumb intently brushed over her swollen bottom lip.

He smiled successfully at her evidently aghast state because it was clear that she felt everything that he did and although he knew she was in no shape or form ready to hear it or say it herself, seeing it was enough. For now anyway.

She took a little step back, eyes finally functioning as she cleared her throat, dismissing the unmistakable pull that was urging her to reunite their parted bodies.

She scratched an imaginary itch on her forehead before rifling through the handbag that was somehow still situated on her shoulder.

'Brooke's given me some time off' She divulged, breaking the awkward silence.

'Really?' He asked in surprise. He knew, although the brunette was yet to admit it, that she was becoming quite fond of Peyton Wolf, but he wasn't aware that she was now on a basis that granted holidays.

'Well more demanded actually'

Lucas' brow furrowed in thought, he fleetingly wondered if that was Brooke's polite way of firing his girlfriend. He shook his head. She wouldn't do that.

'She gave me these'

He looked down at her outstretched hands, taking the papers to inspect.

She watched as the contents in his hands, registered on his bewildered face, eyes glinting with excitement. 'She gave you these?'

'Yeah' Peyton shifted her weight nervously. 'She, she said something about her and Julian not being able to use them or something and that maybe we should go cause they'll go to waste otherwise and Julian is fine about you having a few days away apparently, according to Brooke-'

He cut off her rambled explanation, hugging her tightly. 'Thank you'

'Don't thank me' Peyton mumbled, breathlessly, constrained within his tight hold. 'All Brooke'

'Thank you Brooke' He muttered, making a silent note to send his friend a huge bunch of flowers. He couldn't have asked for anything better. A trip home to see his family, _with_ Peyton. 'You're going to love it' He released his tight hold, holding her at arms length now.

She nodded gingerly.

'You know what this means though right?' He raised his brow tauntingly, toying with the bottom of her shirt.

'I know' She sighed resignedly.

'And you're okay with that?'

She took a deep breath. 'No mother can be harder to handle than mine, I'm sure I can survive yours and how hard can a cute little girl be?'

* * *

'Luke is here! Luke is here! Luke is here!'

'Whoa' Peyton muttered, looking up at the house with sudden horror.

'That painfully loud, high pitch screeching?' The front door burst open. 'Yep' Lucas confirmed Peyton's thoughts. 'That's what you've been referring to as the cute little girl'

Lily Roe Scott bounded down the porch steps and flew across the front lawn in record time. 'Luke!'

Peyton watched as a natural wide grin formed on his face and he crouched down as her little form bounded into him. 'Hey munchkin' He effortlessly lifted her up.

'You're here!'

'I'm here' He chuckled, rubbing her nose in an Eskimo kiss.

'Nate said you weren't coming back ever again and that he should be my favourite brother'

'He did, did he?'

'Uhuh'

'He was just playing with you Lil, you think I'd really never come visit my favourite sister?'

She smiled. 'I am cool'

'Yes, you are' He laughed.

'You're still my favourite Luke' She whispered. He held his hand up and she obliged by slapping it with a pact making high five. It was only then that the five year old's inquisitive brown eyes landed upon the stranger that was hovering awkwardly behind them.

'Lil, this is Peyton' Lucas introduced.

Peyton responded with a little smile and a wave of the hand. She'd never really been around children and this little girl was currently unsettling her more than she was letting on. 'Hi Lily'

'Hello' Lily's mischievous little face turned back to Lucas. 'Is she your girlfriend?'

'Well nosy' He set her back down on the ground. 'Actually, yes' He tapped the button shaped nose, so similar to his own. She giggled delightedly before racing up to the house to go inform her mother of this news.

'Sorry' He regarded Peyton. 'She's a bit hyper'

'She _is_ r_eally cut__e_' Peyton affirmed.

She was more relaxed than either one of them had anticipated. The whole journey in actual fact had been nothing but calm. She'd met him separately at the airport to avoid being captured together. But as soon as they'd left New York, they'd left the media and paparazzi behind, just as Brooke had assured her and she was finding this whole new experience to be nothing but enjoyable. So much so, that the prospect of meeting his mother and sister was now seeming to be a walk in the park. Of course she was nervous but she wasn't on edge and in fear of some car pulling up and stepping foot onto this family's property all to get a shot of her.

'You ready?'

'Mhm'

'I know you're tired, we won't stay long, I just want to say hi before we go to mine'

She eyed the house that he'd grown up in.

'It's quite small, well, in comparison with what you're use to anyway' He spoke as they walked up the path.

'Lucas' She scorned. 'It's beautiful'

'Yeah' He agreed. 'I'm kind of fond of it' He ushered her through the open door.

'See Mumma!' Lily exclaimed. 'I told you so'

'Yes you did. Now for the hundredth time go tidy your toys up and pyjamas on' Karen sternly shooed her out of the kitchen, her eyes meeting her visitors in an apologetic gaze.

'Hey Mum' Lucas greeted adoringly.

'Luke' Karen embraced him tightly. 'My baby boy'

He grimaced at her embarrassingly loud coo. 'Okay mum' He struggled to unravel himself from her fierce hug, quickly turning his attention to Peyton. 'Mum this is-'

'You must be Peyton, it's nice to meet you sweetie'

It didn't surprise Lucas in the slightest that his mother had already been well informed about Peyton. Apparently none of his friends could keep their mouths shut and Haley could no doubt help but gossiping to his mother about his personal life.

'I'm sorry that this is kind of an unannounced visit' He spoke, trying to tear his mother's burning gaze away from Peyton.

'Nonsense, I've missed you, you know you could learn to pick up the phone once in a while Lucas' She reprimanded.

'Right' He nodded guiltily. 'Sorry, things have just been a bit hectic'

'So I've heard. Had I known you were coming I would have stopped by your house and given it a bit of tidy'

Lucas shook his head. 'I'm glad I didn't ring then'

'I'm going to apologise on his behalf Peyton- his house is a tip-'

Peyton smiled.

'Gees Mum it's not that bad. I was moving, so everything's a little disorganised and bare'

'Sounds familiar' Peyton nudged him in the side. 'Lucas only unpacked his apartment recently'

Karen shook her head in despair. 'When he lived here he was always so tidy, I never had to clear up after him, all that seems to have gone to pot since he left home'

'Moth-er' Lucas whined emphatically. 'As lovely as this is, we're going to go now' He informed her.

Karen laughed at his obvious embarrassment.

'We'll do something tomorrow? Maybe dinner with you, Haley and Nate?'

'Yes, I'll speak to you in the morning. Shall I give you some clean bed sheets-'

'No' Lucas groaned. 'God, you're making it sound like my house is a squat' He grabbed Peyton's hand. 'Goodbye'

Peyton smiled at Karen over her shoulder. 'It was nice to meet you'

'You too honey, we'll speak properly tomorrow'

Lucas had her out the door before she could respond. 'You're free to get on the next flight back to New York' He grumbled.

'No way, I want to see this squat of yours'

* * *

'This is my favourite place'

Peyton screwed up her eyes in the dusk light. 'In the world?' She yawned, her nose turned up as she looked around the sparse court that he'd insisted upon stopping at.

'Hey, don't ever slam the river court' He warned proudly.

She chuckled, hands held in the air in peace. 'I'll just be over here' She sunk onto the bleachers, smiling deviously as she watched him focus fully on a shabby, abandoned basket ball. She swallowed all her teasing remarks when he began to dribble the ball speedily across the court though. She'd not been able to envision him playing before but now, seeing him right before her, it seemed so natural. He leaped through the air, gliding agilely and she really lost her breath when his overheated body meant him taking his shirt off just seconds later. He winked at her, then tossed her the sweaty item. She pretended to be disgusted but he wasn't blind to her blatant gawking, especially when he dunked three balls in succession and she had clear view of his suddenly more than prominent athletic physic.

He jogged over to her after a while, panting.

'Are you done showing off?'

He smirked. 'Are you done goggling at the goods?' He wriggled his eyebrows at her as he straddled the bleacher.

She inadvertently followed his gesturing hands, eyes skimming over his well defined torso once more.

'You know you're really quite fit' She informed him.

'You sound surprised' He laughed.

She swung her leg over the bench, imitating his position, only settling her legs over his.

'You're acting like you've never seen my body before' He teased.

'I've never seen it do that' She pointed a finger back toward the court and he chortled again.

'Maybe I should watch you play' He suggested coyly.

She snorted. 'I can barely walk in a straight line without falling flat on my face'

'Now I know that's not true, you're a model'

'A surprisingly uncoordinated model'

He rolled his eyes. 'You cope pretty great with a catwalk' His hands ran over her thighs. 'Maybe I should get a demonstration right now'

'No way' She shook her head. 'Not happening' She laughed at the pout that formed. 'What's your middle name?' She asked eagerly, conveniently changing the subject.

'What?'

'Your middle name, do you have one?'

He looked down, his smile suddenly gone, replaced with a very unamused look. 'Did Brooke tell you it?' He complained.

'Er, no. If she had I wouldn't be asking would I?! What is it?' She looked at him expectantly. 'Well?'

'What's yours?'

'Mae. After my mum's sister' She informed him simply.

'That's pretty'

'Yeah, she was beautiful'

'Was?' He asked gently.

'She died before I was born. She was seventeen, completely high, walked out into a road of traffic'

'God that's horrible Peyt, I'm, I'm so sorry'

She shrugged. 'I never knew her. My mum was with her that night, her first screw up of many. She gets her little sister wasted and then put's her in her coffin, all in one night'

'You can't blame Ellie-'

'Her words not mine'

Lucas' hands slid behind her to cup her backside, effortlessly lifting her so she was completely straddling him now.

'Eugene'

'What?' Her hands had found their way around his neck.

'My middle name. Eugene'

She sucked in her bottom lip, stifling the laugh that was daring to escape.

'It's alright go ahead. Laugh.' He indulged her, eager to put a smile back on her face.

'That's, that's...cute?' She spluttered.

'Yeah, really, really cute' He shook his head, clearly vexed by his unfortunate naming. 'I don't know what mum was thinking'

'I'm liking your mum a bit more with every passing second' She giggled. 'Lucas Eugene Scott' She rolled his name off of her tongue.

'I'm glad I amuse you so much' He pressed his forehead against hers and they stayed that way.

'It's quiet here' She whispered.

'Mmm' He agreed, it was something he definitely favoured over New York.

'It's weird, but I kind of like it' She hummed.

'Yeah?'

'Uhuh' A gentle breeze blew through the muggy night air. 'You know what I like best?' Her legs curled tightly around him and he took a sharp intake of breath. 'That I can do this without anyone taking a picture or watching'

'Wow, not even three days ago you declared you'd never hold my hand in public, now look, you're totally rocking the PDA boat'

'I'm working on this whole honeymoon stage thing' She told him with a coy little smirk. 'How am I doing?'

'Currently, I give you a C'

'C? I was an A grade student Lucas, well until I started modelling' She muttered.

'Well, I'll regrade you if you impress me enough'

She shifted impossibly closer, seductively gazing at him. 'Now?'

'B, definitely a B' He exhaled, his breath hitting her rosy cheeks.

Her slight body pressed up against his and her mouth ghosted across his, her tongue skimming across his lower lip horrendously slowly. She pulled away before going any further, eyebrows raised expectantly.

'A, fucking A*' He relented quickly. She grinned successfully, willingly letting him tug her face back to his.

He liked this trouble free Peyton, he liked the carefree attitude that Tree Hill had enveloped her in today but he was very aware that it wouldn't last. He had a limited amount of time before they'd have to return to the madness of New York, a limited amount of time where she was calm and not distracted from the hysteria that encased her normal life. A limited amount of time to make her see that they really had a chance at making this work and that he wasn't planning on going anywhere. He knew when they returned they'd face obstacles that could threaten everything he'd managed to achieve in the last week alone. He had just three days to convince her that perhaps there was such a thing as true love, just three days to prove that she was his.


	13. The Confession

**A/N **I'm sorry guys, I've had this partially written for some time but I wasn't happy with it and then got a little side tracked writing other things! I'm still not overly happy but I think I need to get it out there before I loose my mind over it any further!!

Peyton smiled serenely as she stared out of the impressive bay window. He'd failed to mention that his house was on the waterfront. Literally. The sound of the waves, together with the sunny blue skies were definitely a cause for excitement. She'd never experienced the seaside, never experienced the family day at the beach. She had all the visions in her head of how it would be, how it should be and she knew it was cliché but that didn't stop her wanting it, wanting that family day out with sandy sandwiches and sticky sun cream. Her daydreaming cocooned her in a bubble of fantasies, of yearning, a dull hankering ache in the pit of her belly.

'You're awake'

She spun around, trying to hide the stupidly girly grin that had graced her lips since the moment she'd opened her eyes. 'I'm awake' She confirmed. 'What's the time?'

'Just after twelve' He joined her over at the window sill, handing over a coffee.

'Twelve?' Peyton's eyes widened as he nodded back with a smile. 'Whoa I slept a long time'

'You were tired'

She ignored his boyish smirk, taking a sip of the soothing brew in her hands. 'Mmm, that's good, nearly as good as this view'

'It's pretty awesome huh?'

'Just a little' She looked up at him. 'You didn't mention that your house is kinda amazing'

'Well if I'd known a little bit of sand and water would beckon you here I would have alerted you much sooner'

'I can see why you didn't want to unpack in New York now'

'Hey, I'm growing kinda fond of my apartment' He playfully poked her side, an eyebrow raised suggestively, assuring she caught on. Whenever he addressed his new life in the big apple he was more often than not, talking about her. He wasn't just growing fond of the apartment, in fact he couldn't care less about the apartment, he loved New York because of the girl he was growing fonder of by the day.

That reluctant smile showed itself again. She wasn't naive to his statement's double meaning. He kept doing that. Using his clever words against her, saying things that had her faltering and stumbling over her feet to put some distance between them.

She reluctantly tore her eyes from the window, standing and placing her coffee safely on the bedside table and allowing herself to fully take in the interior of his bedroom; a welcome distraction.

There'd been no time for giving tours of the house the night before, after making a quick detour through the kitchen, he'd dragged her upstairs to bed.

'You have a lot of music' She announced, her eyes taking in the realms of CD's shelved on the far side. He'd not seen the point in transferring his music collection across states when he had it all at easy access on his Mac.

'Yeah' He rubbed the back of his neck as she inspected his personal stuff.

'I have a whole room dedicated to records at home'

'I didn't know that' He sat down on the unmade bed as she made her way down the shelves, nodding her head and smiling at the artists she liked.

'You have good taste'

'She approves?' He laughed.

'I didn't say that' She looked at him cheekily. 'I think I've probably got some stuff you'd like though'

'I'm sure you have' He chortled. 'Considering your Mick Wolf's daughter'

She held up one of her father's early albums that he had stowed away. 'This is his best'

'My favourite' Lucas agreed.

'Yeah?' She wandered over to him, hooking a leg over his to straddle his lap.

'Most definitely' His hands found their place at her hips as she opened the plastic casing, pulling out the cover.

'I was eight when this came out' She turned the pamphlet round, showing him a particular picture of Mick Wolf and his band members. Her finger pointed out a young blonde haired child sitting in the background, drumsticks at the ready.

He took it from her hands, taking a closer inspection. 'That's cute. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you were like the prettiest kid ever' He grinned at her short, tight ringlets. 'It must have been amazing, growing up around that' He muttered in awe.

She tilted her head. 'Sometimes' He looked up at her not so enthusiastic response. 'I guess I have been kind of spoilt when it comes to music' Her smile returned.

'Just a little' He scoffed.

'Well I'll help further your education, you can borrow some records when we get back'

'Yeah?'

'Uhuh. Only if we get rid of all the not so great music you have hiding away over there'

'I thought you just said I had good taste' He pouted dramatically.

'Good, yes with the potential to have great. Why settle for good?'

He laughed at her.

'And who are you to classify my taste in music?'

'Er, hello? I think we just established that I'm daughter of the king of rock' She wavered her father's album in his face.

'I don't care who your father is' He tugged the CD from her hands, discarding it onto the mattress beside them. 'I think you're musician enough to judge me' he tugged her forward so their bodies were pressed together. 'Come here' He angled her face towards him, kissing her softly but the sound of her rumbling belly caused him to pull away laughing just a moment later.

'Are you hungry?' He rubbed her growling stomach.

'Mm, very'

'You know for being so skinny, you sure do eat a lot'

She smiled triumphantly. 'See, You can declare to the world that I'm not anorexic'

'Definitely not anorexic' He agreed, effortlessly lifting her up and setting her feet back on the hard wood floor. 'Come, I'll make you some lunch'

* * *

Peyton combed the open plan downstairs. It was so light, what with the creamy interior, a wall entirely of glass and french doors leading down to the beach. It was freeing and not just in the literal sense. It wasn't impeded with her world. It was completely disassociated from her. It was a blank canvas. Well not entirely, it was a Lucas Scott canvas. It was all him and she felt completely liberated in his painting, free of the everyday restraints her life bestowed upon her.

Lucas kept peering up from the sandwich he was making, amused by the way she kept picking his remaining belongings up like a little kid in a sweet shop.

'You know, I recall someone strictly telling me I wasn't to touch anything in _her _apartment' He couldn't help but tease.

She jumped slightly, fumbling to put the little Lily handmade clay model down. 'Sorry' She muttered, bawling her hands up to stop them from touching anything else.

'You can look at anything you want' He reassured her with a chuckle.

She smiled sheepishly before continuing her exploration. 'Who's Lily's dad?' She wondered aloud. From what she'd deduced, Karen had brought Lucas up with the help of his uncle, not his dad, so she very much doubted that they shared the same biological father.

'Keith' He avoided her eyes, he didn't like to think too much about his family tree, it hurt his head trying to work it all out and it only emphasised how truly screwed up it was.

'Oh' Peyton tilted her head to the side as she looked at a row of photos.

'Yeah, I know, it's weird. I think my Mum dismissed her feelings for Keith for a long time because she thought it would be strange for me. It was only ever strange when he wasn't there though' He shrugged a shoulder, dismissing the guilt he carried. 'They finally got their act together, they got engaged just before the shooting'

Peyton bit her lip. She could almost feel the torrent of pain he held.

'Mum found out she was pregnant shortly after'

'God, that's awful' She shook her head.

'Yeah, Lily was our little angel though, the light amongst all the darkness'

She smiled sadly and then he was hastily looking away from her, looking for some plates.

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment before returning to scanning the room.

Even with half of his belongings in New York, it was hardly what Peyton would have described as bare, there were empty shelves but her eyes kept finding knew photos to gaze at. Although admittedly, he'd not had the smoothest of upbringings, the love of friends and family was more than evident within his home. There was a sense of normalcy. Memories that she couldn't help wishing she had. She suddenly felt very much out of place. She didn't have this normal life. She'd far from had a normal childhood. She'd been in and out of schools depending on where she was, if she was on the road, there'd been home schooling, she was never anywhere long enough to make life long friends and other kids took an instant disliking to her if they found out who she was. Her thoughts swiftly returned to Lucas and his family. They'd been through so much and now she was walking into their seemingly quiet, perfect lives. Her with all her troubles.

'Does your mum know who I am?' She asked abruptly.

Lucas straightened up, regarding her over the fridge door.

'Like, what I do?' She elaborated.

'Er, I think she'd have to be pretty much living under a rock if she didn't know who you were' He answered, struggling to keep his amusement out of his serious tone. 'Besides, if she didn't, she does now. I know you're yet to meet my best friend, but she's like really close with my mum, she tells her everything'

She grimaced. 'Great'

He shut the fridge door having forgotten the ingredients he'd initially been after. 'What's wrong?'

'Well, there's no chance of her liking me, if she already knows who I am. She must have read all the stories she must know-'

'Peyton, I knew who you were and if it's not obvious by now that I kinda like you then-'

'You wanted to fuck me. You didn't care about my reputation because all you were after is sex' She corrected promptly. 'You still don't know me'

His forehead creased and he instinctively reached for her, stopping her retreating form.

'Don't tell me that's not true because it is' She shrugged him away. The conflicting feelings she battled made her dizzy, her turmoil over this new relationship wasn't the easiest thing for her to deal with. It wasn't easy for her to be just happy, to be just happy when there were so many things Lucas didn't know about her. She didn't know how to handle the happiness he evoked inside her, she didn't know how to handle any of it. Which was perhaps the reasoning for her frequent mood changes, for her highs and lows, for her inability to fully relax. She was just waiting, anticipating the moment when he was going to turn around and tell her he'd been wrong. That he didn't want this, her. That it had all just been a crazy whirlwind of misjudgement. Because at the end of the day that's exactly what it was. She was not what he saw, of that she was certain.

'Initially I was just attracted to you, yes' He answered truthfully. 'But I do have standards, if I'd really thought you weren't a nice person do you think I would have taken you back to my apartment?' Lucas proposed calmly.

She rolled her eyes. 'Of course you would have'

'I wouldn't have' He contended, his jaw tight as he assured her of that simple fact. 'Where's this all coming from? You met mum last night. She wasn't anything but welcoming' He failed to see where this sudden insecurity had come from, he failed to understand why she'd gone from carefree to _this _in a matter of minutes.

'Luke I, I'm so different to you' She watched his face crumple.

'I'm not good enough?'

'That's not what I said' She retorted through tight lips. 'You, you have this life' She wavered her hands, her eyes skimming round the room. 'You have all these memories, kindergarten, high school, college. You're, you're so...' She paused, pondering over the photographs of a young teenager, smiling with friends at what she recognised as the river court, photos of him holding a trophy with a team of basket ball players. 'Innocent' She decided.

He snorted, walking up behind her, firmly sliding his hands around her waist. 'Baby I lost my innocence a long time ago. Surely you're not worried that you're tainting me?' He joked, laughing.

'I am' She turned around in his hold but he wouldn't let her pass. 'That's exactly what I'm doing'

He shook his head adamantly. She was delusional. 'Peyton. This, all these are just pictures. From the past. That's not who I am now' He pointed to the array of photo frames she'd just been studying. 'It's all just my horribly embarrassing past'

'None of it is embarrassing Luke' She squinted at a picture of him and a bunch of friends dressed up, him as Tommy Lee. 'Well maybe that, that's terrifying'

Lucas leaned round her, pushing that particular frame face down. 'Yeah' He cleared his throat. 'Don't look at that'

She let out a heavy sigh. 'There are a lot of things you don't know about me'

'Well sweetheart, it's not through lack of trying. You're not much of a talker' He enlightened her. He watched her plan her escape, her eyes skittering behind him. 'It's not like I don't want to know everything about you' His hand settled on her cheek, holding her before him. 'Cause I do'

'You must have read things' her hand took hold of his caressing fingers, pushing them away from her face.

She wasn't wrong in her assumption. He had done a little, well a lot of homework on Peyton Wolf. Googling her had become a frequent pass time when he'd just met her, to say the stories circling the web hadn't left him intrigued and a little unsettled was a bit of an understatement. 'I don't believe everything I read'

'Well you can believe some of it' She pushed against his hard torso and tried to side step around him but he followed her movements, trapping her between himself and the shelves behind her.

'I'm not going to judge you on your past Peyton. Nor is my family'

'You say that now' She mumbled quietly.

'And I'll still be saying it when you've told me what's true and false'

'You think too highly of me'

'I don't think so' His hands found her face again, tilting her her head upward. 'You think too highly of me. I'm no saint. In fact the last few years I've been the exact opposite' He smiled, nose brushing against hers. 'You're already in my Mum's good books. She's going to love you' He breathed. 'Besides' She took a shuddering breath as he kissed the side of her mouth. 'It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks' He kissed her lips this time. 'It won't change anything'

Her hand pressed forcefully against his chest, stopping him from kissing her again. 'Tell me what happened' She murmured, curiosity and an unexplainable need to know the details of his past urging her to ask him about something so personal. Something she'd usually have no intention of wanting to know. She generally kept to herself and kept out of other peoples lives. It was easier that way. Everyone came with luggage, emotional luggage, luggage she had no desire to adopt, only she found herself wanting to carry his.

He took a little step away from her. She didn't need to elaborate on her quiet plea. He knew what she was referring to.

The thin drapes at the open french doors ruffled, coaxing him to move in the direction of the tempting breeze. The air was already unbearably muggy but their current conversation had provoked a few degrees increase.

'He use to be my friend'

Peyton's ears pricked up and she gingerly crossed the room, standing beside him at the open doors.

'Jimmy. He used to come down the River Court' He shrugged a shoulder, brow furrowed. 'He stopped coming down there, he drifted away from the group. I-I didn't even notice, I can't even pin point when he stopped coming all together'

Peyton didn't speak, her fingers fidgeted at her sides, toying with the idea of reaching out to him, to soothe out the self hatred in his eyes.

'I guess none of us were good friends, we were all too preoccupied with other things, too caught up in our own worlds to notice a friend in need'

Her hand bravely found his.

'He's the boy that came into the school that day, he's the one that had the gun'

Her smaller fingers squeezed at his clammy palm, inhaling the summer air as he continued.

'He wouldn't have hurt anyone, he was only a danger to himself. I think I always knew that, that he only shot himself. If it weren't for me no one would have got hurt that day'

'Lucas' Peyton frowned, her heart racing for reasons unbeknown to her.

'I went in there to help Nate find Haley. I went back into the building. Keith only came in because I was in there. Dan wouldn't have had the opportunity to kill him had it not been for me, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to frame Jimmy. Maybe Jimmy would still be here too' He muttered remorsefully.

'It's not your fault. None of it was your fault' She stated absolutely.

He smiled sadly, his eyes disagreeing.

'It's not' She affirmed. 'You shouldn't think that way, please don't think that way' Her words were desperate, pained almost, as though she couldn't physically stand his self blame.

'Thank you' He laughed softly, tugging her closer to kiss her forehead. 'It's hard to dispel such thoughts when you've lost someone you loved' He admitted quietly, her arms tightened around his waist and before she tried to convince him that he'd done no harm his voice was humming against her brow. 'I told you' He exhaled. 'So isn't it my turn now?'

She looked down anxiously. 'Ask me something and I'll tell you the truth' She conceded.

'Anything?'

She worried her bottom lip with a curt nod.

'Do you like modelling?'

Her eyes darted up. 'That's it?'

'That's it'

'All the things you could ask me, you're going for that?'

'Mhm. I want to know'

'But you must have read things that you wonder if are true'

'Yes, but I only want you to tell me those things if you want to Peyton' He shrugged indifferently. 'Do you like modelling?' He repeated his choice of question.

Confused, her shoulders shrugged. 'I guess. It's just a job'

* * *

'Daddy watch us!'

'I'm watching Jamie' Nathan looked up from the BBQ he was attending to.

A small tidal wave erupted from the swimming pool as the two children bombed into it's depths, grinning faces popping up on the surface a moment later.

'Nice one guys'

'Enough you two' Haley James Scott groaned, dabbing at her damp dress with a towel. 'You're getting us soaked'

'Go up the other end if you want to do jumps' Karen suggested, placing a salad down in the centre of the table. The two children clambered out of the pool, retreating to the far end as ordered, eager to carry on their game.

'So, what was she like?'

Nathan rolled his eyes at his wife's question. She was a little anxious to say the least about their forthcoming guests, she'd been prying him with questions since he'd returned home and now it was Karen's turn.

'Well, for the whole five minutes I met her' Karen said with a teasing smile. 'She seemed very nice'

'That's it?'

'I can hardly judge her on such a fleeting meeting Haley' Karen laughed at the pouting school teacher. 'I could judge Lucas though, he's pretty smitten' She indulged the young mother.

Haley frowned in thought, she had her reservations over this relationship, not that she liked to judge but from what she'd determined, Peyton wasn't exactly what she'd classify as Lucas Scott material and she only wanted the best for her best friend. 'So you think it's as serious as Brooke's made out?'

'I don't know' Karen shrugged a shoulder, she didn't like to speak for her son and she certainly didn't feel like she could anyhow; in the years since Keith's death, Lucas' behaviour had been somewhat unpredictable to the point that she frequently found herself second guessing him. However, on her son's visit home, she felt that the part of him that had been missing had returned, his faith and good nature that she'd been so fearing had been lost forever, was more than apparent in his blue eyes.

'Is she as beautiful as she is in all the magazines?' Haley continued to hassle Karen for answers.

'She's hot' Nathan couldn't help but scoff, earning him a discerning glower. 'Like, if you like that obviously beautiful kind of thing, I've only got eyes for you babe' He smiled sweetly, flipping a burger and quickly returning to his silence.

Haley raised her brow expectantly at Karen.

'She's more so in real life' The older woman confirmed.

Lucas rolled his eyes at his gossiping family, shooting Peyton an apologetic look before encasing her fingers within his own. It had taken a fair bit of persuasion to get her here. She'd insisted it was better that she not go, that she didn't want to intrude on his time with his family. He'd ignored her protests, bluntly telling her he wouldn't go at all if she wasn't going to. She looked down at their joined hands but didn't have time to think about what it meant because Lucas was soon clearing his throat and making their presence very much known.

'Ahem'

All three adults heads swivelled toward the side gate.

'Lucas' Haley shot up instantly. 'You're here!'

'Did you not invite us over?'

She grinned, catapulting herself across the stretch of patio and into her much missed friend's arms. 'I missed you'

He stumbled, temporarily releasing Peyton's hand to embrace Haley.

'Yeah? I kinda missed your face too'

'You better had' She pulled back, hitting his arm playfully, her eyes eagerly landing upon none other than Peyton.

'Hi' The blonde smiled. 'I'm-'

'Peyton' Haley nodded. 'I know'

'Right, and you're Haley'

'Yes, It's nice to finally meet you, Brooke's told us so much-'

'Oh no' Peyton laughed. 'All bad things no doubt'

'Not at all' Karen chipped in. 'Come and sit down' She wavered her hands to the table, adeptly saving Peyton before Haley began her interrogation.

'Perfect timing, these are just about done' Nathan announced, carefully flipping his well cooked BBQ platter onto a plate as everyone took a seat. 'You're not a vegetarian or anything right Peyton?' Nathan touched her arm in greeting as he set down the plate in the centre of the table.

'No' She smiled with a shake of the head. 'Definitely not'

'That's good to hear' He sat down beside his wife, unconsciously settling his hand over hers. Peyton watched the silent interaction of husband and wife with childlike curiosity. They were in the same age bracket as herself but she couldn't quite fathom that they were married with a child, that they had this grown up, scary life, it was all so bewildering to her. She couldn't understand how they'd managed to commit themselves to each other at such a young age, how they'd been so sure of what they wanted. She for one, knew that her own wants changed on a weekly basis.

'Lucas was telling me on the way over here that you guys were married in high school?' Her voice broke the awkwardness.

'Yeah, crazy I know' Haley smiled politely.

'And you're like, still happy?' Peyton wondered disbelievingly.

'Never happier' Nathan admitted easily.

'Wow'

'They're Tree Hill's very own fairy tale' Karen smiled.

'It's sickening really' Lucas rolled his eyes, teasingly jabbing his best friend in the side. She swatted his hand away, whining at Nathan to tell his brother not to be mean.

'You know, I still don't get it Luke' Nathan favoured mocking his older sibling instead. 'You're like, way out of your league man. I on the other hand-'

Haley snorted, interrupting before he could finish his sentence. 'Like you'd have a chance'

Nathan scowled at his amused wife. 'I've already hooked up with her remember?' He taunted, referring to the much talked about rumours that were still circling the media.

A blanched Peyton watched in relief as Haley just rolled her eyes dismissively, clearly unphased by their misconstrued meeting.

'Peyton' Nathan stuck his chest out, sitting tall. 'Hypothetically, if I wasn't married, would you?' He kinked his brow suggestively.

'For the sake of my sanity, please don't answer that' Lucas grumbled, finally interrupting the conversation that he'd found nothing but amusing until that point.

'Uncle Luke!' Jamie suddenly chimed from the poolside, having just noticed the two new adults.

Lucas grinned. 'Hey kiddo'

'Luke come in!' Lily demanded.

'Er, not right now, I'm eating'

'Please' They both begged simultaneously.

Jamie clambered up the pool steps, hastily making his way over to the table, a puddle forming on the slabs around him as he jumped up and down with excitement.

'Please Luke'

'Aw go in with them' Peyton encouraged.

Lucas scowled at her while his nephew gave her an appreciative little smirk.

'Jamie, this is Peyton' He introduced.

'Hello' Jamie greeted before quickly turning back to the more important matter at hand. 'So will you?'

'Please!' Lily shouted, bobbing up and down on a water float.

He exhaled heavily, looking contemplatively at his little nephew.

Jamie's eyes were wide with anticipation.

'Alright alright' He conceded.

'Yay!' Delighted with his victory, Jamie raced back to the enticing water. 'He's coming in Lily!'

Both children watched excitedly as Lucas took his time in rising from his chair.

'Considering I had to say yes because of you, I think you should come in too' He suggested to Peyton. She took a bite of cucumber, shaking her head with a smile.

'No way. They're all yours sunshine' She drawled.

A little hum of laughter made it's way round the table, urging Lucas to take further action. He effortlessly jerked her from her seat.

'I'm eating!' She exclaimed, her body reflexively rearing backward but of course she had no chance. He easily snaked an arm around her waist, lifting her slight form from the safety of the ground. She shrieked, arms and legs flailing as he held her over his shoulder. 'Lucas, no. Don't you dare. No'

'You're going in sweetheart'

'No'

He held onto her gangly limbs, stopping her from kneeing him in the groin as he made quick work of the short ground they had to cover. In four large strides they were at the pool edge and the two children's gleeful chanting of _jump, jump, jump, _was the last thing Peyton heard.

It happened so quickly. In one fleeting moment they were no longer on safe dry land. The water seemed cool due to the setting sun and her hold body shuddered as she was involuntarily submerged. A whirlpool of water surged around them and then a moment later her head surfaced and she could suddenly hear again, hear Lucas' boyish laughter.

She spluttered, blinking, her hand pulling away the obstructing hair that was blocking her vision.

'Uncle Luke I think you made her mad!' Jamie was the only one to acknowledge her frowning face, Lucas was apparently unconcerned.

Peyton rubbed her eyes, smearing black mascara everywhere.

'Aw, are you mad?' Lucas taunted, bobbing in front of her.

'Do you have any idea how much this dress was?' She pulled up the soaking material and it made a wet slapping sound when she let go, hitting the surface.

He looked serious for a moment, unsure if she was in actual fact angry. She tried to keep a straight face but her smile won out when he opened and closed his mouth, an apology on the tip of his tongue.

She giggled.

'Very funny'

'You're face was'

He flicked his hand, the little splash in her direction instigating a water fight. He didn't understand quite how but it was outnumbered by far, his own nephew and little sister clearly didn't understand the meaning of the word loyalty. Peyton winded up having two little midgets on her side. He guessed he really shouldn't have been surprised though, he knew what it felt like to be in complete awe of Peyton wolf, she really could win over anyone.

* * *

'Here we are'

Peyton tip toed into the bathroom after Haley, trying to avoid getting the hallway carpet any wetter than she'd already done so.

'Thank you' She shivered, wrapping her arms around her soaking wet form.

'There's clean towels on the side and I got you something dry to slip into, I'm sure it won't fit but-'

'Haley' Peyton shook her head, cutting off whatever the rambling mother was about to declare. 'Thank you' She smiled.

Haley nodded. 'Just leave your dress in the sink and I'll see if I can save it'

'Don't worry about it' Peyton shook her head.

Haley teetered in the doorway. 'You know, Lucas really likes you' She smiled. 'I'm his best friend and I've never seen him like this'

Peyton shifted her weight, wary of the puddle her dripping dress was making on the floor.

'There's been so _many_ girls. So _many _perfect girls'

Peyton contemplated her words, unsure of how to take the statement. Was it a jab at her? Was Haley insinuating that she wasn't good enough?

'He never gave them a chance and then over the last couple of years he's gone for the most promiscuous girls he can find'

Again she shifted with discomfort, this time not bothering to hide the steely look that was quick to invade her eyes. She had a snide comment on the tip of her tongue but she swallowed back the tempting words.

'Girls that don't know the meaning of the word relationship and we both know you most certainly don't-'

'Haley I'm-' Peyton cut her off, gesturing to her drenched attire.

'Right, right, I just, he puts on a front. He's more vulnerable than you know-'

'He's a big boy, free to make decisions for himself. We're just having fun together' She shrugged her shoulders, impatiently wavering her hand at the shower again.

'Right' The interfering brunette smiled politely, contradicting her behaviour. 'I just, I'm sorry. I just don't want to see him get dragged down' She rambled, avoiding the blonde's gaze.

'I'm not dragging him down' Peyton's voice dipped from impatience to agitation now. 'If anyone's doing any dragging it's him' Her harsh tone urged Haley to finally make her exit.

'Right' She muttered. 'I-I'll...you....I'll let you shower now' The door handle clattered as she hurried to escape Peyton Wolf's relentless eyes. The second she was safely alone her stony pretence crumbled. Haley James Scott was right, she was dragging him down, drowning him in a world he knew nothing about.

* * *

'So, what's the verdict on my dysfunctional family?' Lucas questioned as they walked along the moonlit stretch of beach.

'They're far from dysfunctional Luke' She corrected him. 'They're pretty perfect' Her voice lowered.

He smiled at her answer. 'They're alright' He swung her hand in his. 'Are you okay? You've been kind of quiet since we left?'

'I'm fine'

'You sure?'

'I, I've just been thinking'

'About?' He urged.

Haley's words in the bathroom rung in her head. She didn't dislike his sister-in-law, she admired her guts. Not many people would have cornered her like that. She was clearly trying to protect her best friend from any further heartache. She clearly just wanted Lucas to be happy, that was all and currently, Peyton was the biggest threat in his life.

'How many girls have you been in a serious relationship with?'

He raised his brow. 'That depends how you define serious. I was with Brooke for a while, she was was my first girlfriend and we were together on and off through high school until we realised we actually got on a hell of a lot better when we weren't together _together_. There was this girl at college, Lindsey. I was more concerned with helping my mum out with Lily though and she grew tired of me ditching her for a one year old' He laughed. 'I guess that's it really. Why?'

'How old were you when you first had sex?'

He laughed, sitting down on the sandy shore line. He really didn't get where this round of twenty questions was coming from. 'Er, nearly eighteen' He answered simply, he wasn't ashamed for having waited, it had been right. 'How old were you?' He tugged on her hand, pulling her down beside him.

'Fifteen' She answered sharply.

Lucas looked up at the clear starry sky. He didn't want to think about anyone else touching her, especially taking her innocence. He wondered what she'd been like at the age.

'Haley's right' Peyton muttered softly.

His gaze jerked to her. 'What? What's she been saying to you?' He demanded with a frown. He knew his best friend all too well, he knew she couldn't help her interfering self at times. Whatever she'd said had clearly put doubts in Peyton's mind, doubts that he really didn't want her to be having.

'You should be with someone that's perfect'

'You are perfect' He exclaimed. 'Haley told you you weren't perfect?' He snorted.

'No' Peyton shook her head. 'No, no'

'Well what's she been saying?'

'Nothing, she was just telling me that you're, you're choice in girls lately hasn't exactly been suitable'

His brow went to the sky in contemplation. 'Well I guess she's right' He shrugged. He knew his best friend hadn't been supportive of his choice in women, or of what she'd declared as his philandering stage.

'I'm one of those girls Lucas, the unsuitable kind. You want someone like Haley'

'That's exactly what I don't want' He scoffed. 'Don't get me wrong, I love my best friend but' He shook his head. 'Peyton you're perfect'

'Lucas I'm the girl that goes out for the night and doesn't get back till six in the morning, I'm the girl that's with a different guy each week, I've been known to dabble with drugs, there's pictures of me half naked circling the web-'

'I don't care' He cut her off matter of factly. 'You may have done those things-'

'Lucas-'

'No Peyton. I don't care. You're not on drugs now right?'

'No, but when I was younger-'

'When you were younger. _Younger_' He reiterated. She stood, exhaling heavily. The dress that Haley had loaned her barely covered the model's contrastingly long legs and Lucas had a hard job of keeping his focus on her upper body when a tilt of his head could allow him a sneaky glance to what was beneath. His eyes instead focused on burning into the back of her head 'It wouldn't matter anyway. Even if I didn't want to, I don't think I'd be able to stay away from you' He sighed. 'Why are you trying your hardest to push me away. It's like you don't want to even try and make this work'

'I don't' She blurted agitatedly. 'You're the one that wanted this'

He swallowed thickly.

'Lucas sooner or later you'll realise what I'm like and then you'll want out'

He blinked, stunned by her outburst. He didn't want out. But if he was starting to get the impression that she was just using him.

'I know you've read it' She announced suddenly.

He watched her from behind, her hair blowing softly in the night air.

'The infamous story of how I slept with the editor of vogue to get put on the cover'

He waited with baited breath.

'You have morals Luke, whereas I, I don't' She swivelled round to face him again. 'It's true' She shrugged. 'And it's not anything in comparison to some other things I've done' She told him bluntly. 'Still not care about my past?'


	14. The Truth

**A/N **An extraordinarily speedy update!! Thanks for the kind words guys. Emera.

_'Still not care about my past?'_

Lucas' breath caught in his throat._  
_

She looked away from him. His dark eyes had been staring, well more like burning into her for the last five minutes. His silence was deafening. It wasn't really the response she'd been relying upon, she'd expected outrage. Disgust. Not _this,_ not this eerie quietness.

The waves broke on the shore, crawling closer and closer to them, the tide making quick work of consuming the small bay and with every passing second she felt like she was being closed in upon, surrounded with no way out.

He was stunned. He'd read the story, it was the only story out of the many that had accumulated online, that he'd dismissed immediately as ridiculous. He could vaguely remember Brooke throwing it at him when they'd discussed the model in her office at what seemed like forever ago now. He'd not cared remotely about Peyton Wolf's life choices and who she was as a person at that point in time. He'd had a different view of her entirely. His only interest had been in getting her into bed. Only now, her world, everything and anything that she said or did effected him greatly, he didn't know why, it just _did_. He'd read the story with great confidence that it couldn't be true because he'd come to know a girl, a girl that in his eyes wasn't capable of ever doing that. Her revelation had him questioning if he knew her really at all. Maybe she was right, maybe he didn't know her. But then who was he to judge? He'd done things he wasn't proud of, it had only been since meeting her that he'd turned his life around for the good.

He'd made it clear to her that her history was irrelevant to him and he wanted to say it didn't matter. It didn't matter. It was in the past. However, there was something about the way she was standing, the way she was holding herself that told him there was more.

'You had sex with someone so they'd put you on a cover of a magazine?' Were the words that finally emerged from his dry lips, double checking that he'd heard her correctly, a mixture of doubt and confusion lurking in his eyes.

She looked directly at him, her gaze unblinking. 'Yes'

His brow creased. 'As in you slept with someone so you could be a cover girl?' He affirmed.

'Yes Lucas' She snapped. 'Fucked my way onto a cover, seduced, blackmailed, call it what you like' She crossed her arms in front of herself, the wall around her standing tall and strong.

He suddenly didn't care that this was something that had occurred in her past. He believed that people could change the way they lived their life but he struggled to see that a person could change so dramatically, he didn't believe that someone could change their morals so significantly. His father had always been the same, he'd always been the calculating murderer that he was. It was always there brewing on the surface. Peyton wasn't so insidious. He couldn't foresee her ever having been a girl capable of such a thing. She put on a front that she didn't care, she played the part of the rebellious girl only she wasn't. _Everyday_ she showed him that she did _care, _that she was actually conscientious and righteous.

'I don't believe you'

'That's your problem Lucas. You see the good in people when more often than not we're all just bad' She fired back.

He looked up at her, lit dimly by the bright moon above them. Her hair had dried naturally, leaving it curlier than he'd ever seen and her face was still completely flawless despite no make up. She was beautiful.

'I'll go get my things' She smiled sadly.

'No' He hastily pushed himself off of the sandy bed. 'Peyton, don't go'

'It's fine Lucas. Believe me, I get it. For someone like you, this is a big deal. You care about stuff like this-'

'Yes I care' He emphasised. He didn't like her flippancy over the subject, regardless of if she'd changed over the years. It was still a decision that she'd made, a decision that went against all his morals and beliefs and yet he was standing here, wanting to understand. 'I fucking care' He vented. 'It is a big deal'

She looked down. His outburst igniting a sharp pang of shame to flood through her system. 'Right' She mumbled. 'Which is why I'm going to get my stuff and leave'

'I've told you that whatever happened in your past, whatever you've done wouldn't matter and it, it doesn't. This doesn't' He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. 'But I care. I care and I want to understand why because the girl I know would never do something like that'

'Maybe that's just it. You don't know me at all' She made to walk up to the house but he stood tall before her, blocking her path.

'Peyton I-I don't want you to go. I just want to understand. You can't reveal something like that without elaborating'

'What do you want me to say Luke?' She exclaimed.

'How about why? Why being on the cover of a magazine meant so much to you that you felt the need to give your body to some pathetic excuse of a man-'

'Enough. I don't want to talk about this-'

'Well I do' He grabbed her arm, stopping her from retreating. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

'Let. Go' She growled.

His fingers reluctantly released her but he hastily followed her quick march up to his house. 'You'd never do that' He declared certainly, desperately. He didn't want the girl he'd come to know to just be a false illusion. 'I know you, you'd never do that'

'You don't know me' She cried back in frustration.

'I do. Peyton you have a conscious'

She reached the french doors, rattling the handle. 'Can you please unlock it'

'Not until we've talked about this'

'There's nothing to talk about' She exclaimed. 'I'm a whore. You're Mr Perfect and at the end of the day those two denominators do not equal happy couple'

He squinted at her. 'How old were you?'

'What?'

'When you decided being on the front cover of a magazine warranted sleeping with someone old enough to be your dad?'

She smiled falsely. 'See you say it doesn't matter, you say you can get past my history but you really can't Lucas'

He gritted his teeth, refusing to address her statement. 'How old?' He demanded.

'Sixteen'

'Sixteen?' He choked out. Her answer tumbled down on him full force.

She watched him pace across the wooden decking, his features suddenly burdened, strained in distress. His attitude about the whole situation suddenly did a complete one hundred and eighty. The betrayal he'd felt, deception in the sense that he'd been led to believe she was something she wasn't, evaporated instantly.

'Look I know it's not exactly something to be proud of, that while you were playing basket ball I was off using sex to extort people'

'You were a kid!' He shook his head in disgust. 'You were the one being extorted. Don't you see that?'

'That's not how it was. I was never that fucking naive'

'Really?' Lucas approached her, standing over her in an intimidating stance. 'Did he tell you he was going to make you a big star? What did he tell you?'

'It wasn't like that'

'How was it then? You're really telling me you seduced the guy? That at sixteen you were that deceitful?'

'Yes'

'I don't believe you'

'Then don't. Can you please open the door'

'Peyton' He cupped her face. 'This isn't over. I'm not letting you just walk away from us'

'There is no us Lucas. I'm sorry for ever letting you believe otherwise. I just, I let myself get carried away'

His eyes narrowed as anger engulfed him. She'd never seen him really angry. Frustrated, yes but not angry. 'Yesterday I was honest with you. I told you something really fucking difficult'

Her eyes were suddenly glassy, green irises drowning in his pained admission.

'I know' She whispered hoarsely.

'So try being fucking honest with me' Despite his irritation with her, he caught the tear that fled down her cheek. 'Please' He mustered.

She pushed against his chest and a frustrated sigh past his lips. He needed her to open up. He had this innate feeling that he wasn't getting the full story and he wanted the full story. He wanted to understand what she'd been like at sixteen, why she'd been governed to do something so detrimental to herself. This was clearly something that had moulded who she was now, something that had shaped the way she acted now. She used sex as a weapon and he was certain he was the only person who hadn't been defeated, he was the only person that wanted more than just her body and her inability to see that was something painfully apparent.

'I'm just trying to understand Peyt. Right now, regardless of how long ago it was, I don't see you being able to do that'

'People change' She mumbled.

'Maybe. I've done stuff I'm not proud of but looking back there has always been a reasoning behind it'

She turned around. 'And you're a _good _person Luke' She shrugged. 'The truth is, I don't care. It got me what I wanted. I'd do it again tomorrow'

He squinted at her, his jaw tight.

She cowered back as his shoes clunked across the wooden decking, making the two strides over to her.

'No. No you wouldn't' He growled, pushing her back against the wooden railing of the back porch. He couldn't believe that she'd do that at this present day, he didn't want to believe that she'd hurt him like that all for the sake of a bit of publicity.

'Yes, yes I would'

She watched his face contort. His hands slapped against the rail either side of them, trapping her. 'Fine'

His tone made her heart race. He pressed himself against her, leaving her no room to breathe.

'Apparently you love being in the public eye' He husked.

Her hands instinctively pushed against his chest, trying to escape his intimidating figure.

'Lucas-'

'Apparently you love being centre of attention, hm?'

'Stop-'

'Isn't that right?' He demanded, mouth at her ear. 'If fame is that important to you, I'm sure I could get you a part in Raven's' He drawled.

She tilted her head away, unappreciative to this treatment.

'You could be an actress Peyt, forget modelling. You could be a famous actress'

'Stop it' She hissed more insistently this time.

'All you have to do is have sex with me'

Her eyes expanded, her fingers digging into his arms. 'Get the fuck away from me'

'All you have to do is spread your legs nice and wide for me and you can be a real star'

She was aghast. Completely appalled by the crude words coming from his mouth. While she knew he was making a point, she couldn't prevent feeling completely mortified by what he was saying, what he was suggesting. People had approached her with vile propositions before but this, hearing_ him_ saying something so distasteful left a bitter taste in her mouth.

He kissed the junction at her neck, not sweetly, not like any other kiss that he'd touched to her skin, it was artlessly administered, uncaring and rough but she stood still, numb to the bone.

He'd expected his brash, offensive words and actions would result in a reaction that so far he'd been unsuccessful in attaining. He'd tried being calm. Tried being understanding. Tried being angry but none of it was working. And now, as he breathed into her neck, as he let his hands coarsely touch her, he was filled with a sense of dread so huge that his charade was no longer a game. Her unyielding, stationary body was an invitation to him, that she would be willing to comply, to endure _this_ all for what? Had she been _this_ girl all along? Had he really been that blind? Was she really that self absorbed, that vain that she'd be willing to do anything for more fame?

He felt used. Betrayed.

'So this is what you want? Is this what this has all been about' His fingers clutched the material of her dress, jerking it up around her waist. 'I'm just a foot in the door to bigger things huh?'

Her head shot up, a moistness round her eyes. She looked as though she'd just been struck.

Her submissive body turned rigid.

Her hand rose.

Lucas was too consumed by the deliverance of hurt and anguish in her glowering eyes to notice.

Not even a second later the cracking sound of her palm connecting with his cheek echoed loudly in their ears. Ferocious and resilient.

His fingers instantly disengaged from her dress and the blue cotton floated back over her thighs.

Her hands flung to her mouth as she watched him rubbing his stinging face, her eyes wide with dismay at her heady action.

'See' He told her stiffly. 'You're not that girl' He acknowledged, relief apparent in his voice.

'I, I didn't mean to do that' Her body quivered.

'You had every right to'

She turned away from him on shaky legs, leaning on the wooden railing and looking down at the shore. There was only a small stretch of sand left now, the tide fully up having conquered the beach below, the sands that would prevail when the winds changed.

She prevailed. She always prevailed as people came and went from her life.

Only Lucas had broken through that wall in the last few minutes. He'd broken through that hard exterior and she was a trembling mess.

'Is that what you really think?' She whispered. 'That all I want, all I care about is being in the spotlight?'

'No' He blinked, his eyes watering from her surprisingly hard slap. 'I was just making a point Peyton. You wouldn't condone doing anything to be put on the front cover of a magazine. Now or then. You've had fame since the day you were born and I don't think you welcome it'

She swallowed thickly.

'I'm sorry' He moved to stand beside her. 'I didn't mean to scare you' He slid his hand into hers, his thumb running lightly over her knuckles.

'I'm not...' She didn't dare raise her voice above a whisper in fear of it breaking. 'I'm not sleeping with you in the hope of being in your film'

'I know that'

'I'm in the position that _if_ I wanted _that_ I could make it happen. I wouldn't need to sleep with a screenplay writer'

'I know that' He brought her smaller, dainty hand up to his mouth, leaving a tender kiss there. 'I'm sorry'

She tilted her head to look at him, her stubborn fortitude faltering as she watched him kiss her hand. _Her_ Lucas had returned from the horrible part he'd just been playing. The Lucas she didn't want to loose stood beside her, sincere and resolute in his want for her. His want to be with her.

'Have, have you ever heard of Rachel Gatina?'

His head jerked up at her quiet question, hope filling him. Hope that she was done fighting him. That she was ready to be one hundred percent honest with him as he'd been with her. 'No'

'She was a model'

'Was?'

'She's dead. Over dosed about four years ago now' She recalled.

Lucas swallowed, trying to hydrate his dry mouth. 'Was, was she your friend?'

Peyton shrugged. 'I don't think you could really class it as a friendship. She took me under her wing. She introduced me to her world' She avoided his intense stare, her eyes lingering on the night's black sea. 'My whole life I'd been known as Mick Wolf's daughter and, and when I started modelling I was someone different. I was _somebody. _I was Peyton Wolf the model. I revelled in that, it wasn't connected to him. It, it was mine. It was my escape' She fumbled over her words, taking an exaggerated breaths. 'I started hanging around with the wrong people'

'Rachel?'

'She was one of them' She nodded. 'I was young and stupid and I just didn't care about anything, I let her tell me what to do' She pulled her hand from his, crossing her arms in front of herself.

'Peyton' He objected softly as she pulled away, but she didn't want to be touched and pitied, she didn't want him near her.

'I took a lot of drugs back then, I'd probably be completely dependent on them right now if it weren't for my mother' She continued. 'I, I hold so much disdain for her but, but that dislike, that need to be nothing like her has saved me more times than I can count. One day I woke up and saw her staring back at me, saw what I was turning into. That was the day I cut myself off from Rachel Gatina' She let out a heavy breath. 'She didn't like that very much' Peyton laughed humourlessly.

Lucas' brow furrowed as he waited patiently for her to elaborate.

'During the time, the time I'd spent with Rachel I did some pretty stupid things' She shook her head. 'Really stupid things'

'You were a kid. Kids do stupid things Peyton'

'I wasn't ten Lucas, I was sixteen, I knew what I was doing' She ran her hand through her hair with agitation. 'One night I was with her and some other people. I don't remember how it happened but I guess clothes were taken off and these photos were taken' She shifted her weight.

'Like nude photos?' He clarified.

She nodded curtly. 'I was high and it just happened and I didn't think anything of it. But when I stopped talking to Rachel she gave the photos to Carl'

'Carl?'

'The editor of vogue' She murmured quietly. 'It was never about getting on the cover' She looked up at him directly. 'It wasn't about the cover' His supportive hand at her back made her voice involuntarily quiver.

There it was. He'd known she wasn't being entirely truthful, he'd known there was more to this story than met the eye.

'I couldn't have photo's of me naked released to the world. They were disgusting' She grimaced.

'So you slept with him on the condition that he-'

'Get rid of the photos' She nodded. His knuckles whitened as he gripped at the wooden rail, enraged that she'd ever been put in such a position. 'He would have sold them, they would have been everywhere' She pondered. 'I know that doesn't make it okay, I know it was wrong-'

'Wrong? Peyton-'

'Don't you lecture me-'

'I'm not' He snapped, cutting her off. 'You say what _you did _but in reality this wasn't anything that you did. This was something that was _done to you_' He contended.

'I had a choice. He gave me a choice. I knew what I was doing Lucas'

'You did nothing wrong. Don't you see that?' He cried. 'Peyton, you were blackmailed. He may have given you a choice, but one that you felt you couldn't refuse. You didn't seduce the guy so he'd put you on the cover'

She frowned. 'He didn't have to do that, he didn't have to put me on the cover. He didn't have to help me'

'To help you?' He shook his head in disbelief. 'Peyton are you listening to yourself? What he did was illegal. He could have been charged. He used you'

'I used him' She stubbornly retorted. 'It wasn't part of our agreement, but after I, I did it, I asked him to do me a favour. I persuaded him to put me on the cover' She admitted.

He looked at her questioningly.

'It was meant to be Rachel, not me' She pinched the bridge of her nose. 'It was childish but she's the one that put me in that position, she was that malicious, she knew what he'd want from me, she knew what I'd have to do to get myself out of it and at the time I'd thought she was my friend' She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. 'After that cover everyone wanted me. Not her and even though it was minute, it was my reprisal' She closed her eyes. 'Without work, she went on a downward spiral, she'd still be here if I hadn't been so cruel'

'She'd be dead' Lucas shook his head. 'If she wasn't already I'd put her in her grave' He told her gruffly.

'Lucas, I'm the one that-'

'You did nothing wrong' He exclaimed fiercely, hands cupping her face. 'Look at me'

Her confused eyes found his.

'You didn't do anything wrong' He repeated. 'Why didn't you tell someone?'

'Who? My mum or dad?' She scoffed. 'There was no one'

His heart clenched. 'Well, there is now' He kissed her forehead. 'And I'm not going anywhere'

Tears inevitably formed, obscuring her vision. 'Lucas' She exhaled sharply, her shuddered breaths hitting his lips. 'I, I'd rather you walked away now. You should walk away now. I'm not the girl that you thought I was. She needed help, just because she hurt me doesn't mean I shouldn't have helped her. I could have got her help'

'Peyton, yesterday you told me Keith's death wasn't my fault and you're right and I'm right that Rachel's isn't yours'

He kissed her then, before she could argue, his thumb stroking across her cheekbone, catching the tear that dared to race down her porcelain skin. 'I'm not going anywhere' He reiterated for perhaps the umpteenth time, tucking a runaway curl behind her ear. He met her weary eyes and his lips curled into a small, reassuring smile. 'I love you' It came out with no thought what so ever, his judgement wasn't impaired by the false apparitions that surrounded her life, it had never been so clear to him. He'd thought about saying those three little words for some time now. He'd perhaps over thought it, so much so that it had become a big deal in his mind. Perhaps that together with her anxiety and hesitancy over their whole relationship had stopped him from saying it sooner. But this wasn't an intended declaration, it was natural.

'You what?' Her voice was thick with the restrained sobs she'd kept forcibly suppressed.

'I lov-'

Her hands flung to her ears. 'Don't say it again' She all but screeched. 'Don't say that'

He bit his bottom lip, despite the sombre matter that had been exhaustively deliberated since they'd arrived back, laughter built in the back of his throat at her face. Her alarmed expression was nothing but comical and not unexpected. Lucas was prepared to say the least that she wouldn't jump up and down with a declaration of her own.

He gently took her hands, tugging them away from her ears. 'I'm sorry. It just came out. I think it's time you know though' He smiled. 'I love you'

'Lucas!' She whined, closing her eyes and shaking her head. 'No, stop it. Don't say that'

'It's the truth sweetheart. I'm not expecting you to stay it back. In fact I'd rather you didn't' He had a teasing glint in his eyes. Her saying it back would be a completely insincere reaction, of that he was sure. She was knew to being in a relationship, her concept of love wasn't exactly accurate, but he was confident that with time he'd be able to redefine what love was to her.

'God Lucas' She groaned, side stepping round him and trying the locked doors, whimpering her frustration when they didn't magically open this time round.

'It's locked'

'I fucking know that' She stomped her foot, waltzing past him and down the steps, shadowing the path they'd walked up nearly an hour ago now.

'Where're you going? I'll open the door Peyt' He jogged a couple of paces to catch up with her.

'I'm trying to get away from you jackass'

'Nice. A guy tells you he loves you and you call him a jackass'

'You don't love me' She argued, her breaths increasing as they reached the little patch of beach left, feet working with more force to push through the sand.

'Actually I do. I really fucking do' He laughed. 'And it feels so good to say it'

'This isn't funny!' She abruptly stopped, forcing him to come to a halt. He stumbled, bumping into her. 'You don't even know what you're talking about' Her forefinger jabbed at his chest with every syllable. 'I don't need your fucking pity Luke. I'm not a broken little girl-'

'That's not what this is' He told her evenly. 'I'm not taking pity on you. I'm in love with you' He held her forearms.

'I don't believe in such a thing' She whispered. 'I think you can love someone, but love love, being _in_ love with someone' She shook her head. 'We all just settle for someone we get on with and then five years down the line we get a divorce or we force ourselves to remain unhappy just to prove that a marriage can work' She rambled. 'There's no such thing as soul mates'

'I think there is'

She snorted. 'Of course you do'

'You know I think you're scared'

'Scared?' She scowled.

'Yes, you're scared because what I'm talking about you're feeling too' He squeezed her hand. 'You don't have to be scared though Peyton. We're doing this in baby steps remember?'

'Telling me you love me isn't fucking baby steps'

'Right but you have this inconceivable notion that you're not worthy of having this' He gestured between them 'I don't think you don't believe in love. I think you don't believe in yourself, I think that you don't think anyone could ever want you'

Her lips thinned and her nostrils flared, trying to contain the lump in the back of her throat.

'But I want you Peyton. I want you good and bad. Although, I'm beginning to think you're more good than bad'

The sob that had been diligently restrained, finally escaped her parted lips. He embraced her tightly and she didn't fight. She was done fighting. Done trying to withstand Lucas Scott. She wanted him. She wanted him and he wanted her. She'd felt so certain that her past would stop him from wanting her. That he couldn't possibly want someone that had committed such awful sins but here he was, immovable as he'd sworn. With her tears, tears that had been due for going on seven years, came release, a liberation. Guilt, shame and anger that had become instilled deep in her soul, that had moulded her every thought and action over her early adult years, dispersed.

He rocked her, holding her tightly, working as the anchor that she'd been deprived of for far too long. Her feet stumbled over the sand but he kept her stable until she could stand solidly on her own.

Her sobs finally subsided, her breaths shaky as she inhaled violently to get oxygen to her starved lungs. His fingers stroked through her hair, his slow, tranquil motions, soothing her back to her normally composed self.

She stayed in his arms, unwilling to depart from the safety that they ensured.

'Shit' She murmured, voice scratchy with her tears.

Lucas looked down, seeing the water lapping over both their shoes, only his more durable sneakers proved to be more water proof than her navy pumps.

He chuckled, effortlessly lifting her up to avoid her flimsy shoes being submerged once more.

'Luke' Her hands joined round his neck.

'I've got you' He took a little step back and then sunk to the ground.

'We're going to get wet' Her hands tightened round him, pressing herself closer in case the water did in fact reach them.

'No, the tide's about to turn' He told her knowledgeably. She rested her head on his shoulder, exhaling shakily due to the tears she'd shed. 'You want to go back up to the house? It'll be getting light soon'

'No'

'Are you cold?' He rubbed her arms.

'No. I just want to stay here' She looked up at him. 'If that's okay?'

'Anything you want' He laid back, bringing her with him. 'Peyton?'

She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. 'Hm?'

'Promise me something'

'What?' She rubbed her bloodshot eyes.

'No more lies, no more skittering around the truth, okay?'

She fiddled with his shirt, her eyelashes flickering shut. She'd been brought up in a household where lying was the norm. It wasn't lying, it was merely keeping quiet about things that could potentially hurt someone. You kept quiet about the alcohol you saw your mother drinking at breakfast. You kept quiet when you saw your father kissing another girl. You kept quiet.

'Being in a relationship, is being honest, through the good and the bad'

'Even when it could hurt the other person?'

'Even more so then' His hand found the bottom of her crinkled dress and slid beneath, running soothingly up and down her spine. 'Don't you feel better for telling me the truth? I'm still here aren't I?'

'I've never told anyone before'

'I know' His forefinger drew circles on her lower back.

'Do you think Rachel would forgive me?'

'Has she got your forgiveness for what she did to you?'

Peyton hesitated. 'Yes'

'Then you needn't worry about hers'

'Luke' She muttered sleepily.

'Yes?'

'I kind of like you'

'Yeah?' He smiled, kissing the top of her head. 'I kind of love you' She garnered enough strength to whack him to which he rolled them over, laughing. 'I love you, I love you, I love you'


	15. Returning to Reality

**A/N **Hey guys' n gals, I wanted to get this out to you all before I went to bed but I haven't had time to do my usual final read through!! So apologies if there's any spelling mistakes!! Emera.

The high sun was burning down on the isolated beach, burning down on two sleeping bodies, two entwined lovers.

Peyton winced, scrunching her sticky eyes tight together as she slowly came to. She licked her lips, trying to hydrate her dry mouth and a weary hand found it's way to her face, rubbing at those sleep filled eyes as she squinted into the bright light.

Disorientation kept her immobilised on the sandy bed. Where was she? Why was it so hot? Why was it so bright?

She grumbled, her throat croaky with the tears she'd shed and in all of a second the previous night came back to her in a quick burst. The shouting. The arguing. The talking. She'd told him. She'd told him everything and he'd told her he wasn't going anywhere, he'd told her he loved her.

Her heart raced as she recalled the words that had transpired, adding to her already dizzy state.

Her clammy hand found the one at her stomach. It was hot, unbearably so, just his hand's presence was leaving a wet patch on Haley's scrunched up dress. She shifted onto her side and despite the unpleasant stickiness she kept his hand wrapped around her.

Her sensitive eyes found three words scrawled into the sand by her head. She'd told him to stop saying it. Ordered him to so he'd retorted by writing it instead.

She trailed her finger over the letters in the sand, a little, nervous smile curling her lips.

_He loved her_.

Initially she'd been irate at the idea. Distrust. Doubt. Aggrieved. She was a cynic and wouldn't be fooled by words that were said with no other purpose than to make her fall into a false sense of security. She wasn't stupid. She knew how it worked. Only she didn't understand why those three little words, eight letters, ignited a flapping of butterflies in her stomach and a giddy feeling from head to toe.

Despite the feelings that had arisen at his declaration she wouldn't say it back. She couldn't because she wouldn't lead him on and besides he'd told her no more lies.

'Mm' Lucas groaned, into her neck and she shied away from the tickling sensation but his hand tightened round her waist. 'Whose idea was it to stay out here' He whined, voice thick with sleep.

'You're the one that fell asleep'

'You're the one that wanted to look at the stars' Eyes still closed, he kissed her neck. 'How're you feeling?'

'Wet'

He opened one eye and smirked to which she elbowed him.

'As in hot'

His smirk widened.

'As in overheated' She said exasperatedly.

He chuckled. 'We should probably go inside we're probably burning right now' He decided, anxious about her pale skin.

'I don't think I can even move. It's too hot'

His arms detached themselves from her svelte form, stretching above his head, his t-shirt riding up and he caught her temporarily staring at his lower abdomen.

'Like what you see?'

She blushed, hastily sitting upright.

'You're right we should go inside' She rambled.

He smirked, following her to his feet.

'Hey, hey, hey' He caught her arm, stopping her fleeing body. 'I didn't get my kiss yet'

She smiled despite her determination not to, she couldn't help herself.

His hands cupped her face, thumbs running delicately over her cheek bones.

Her breath hitched in the back of her throat.

He was squinting at her and that one look alone had her weak at the knees, ready to do anything he told her.

'So beautiful' He murmured, their noses brushing together and Peyton tilted her head to join their lips. He obliged, for all of a second in what Peyton classified as a near non existent kiss and she had every intention of voicing her complaints when he lifted her off her feet. She shrieked loudly as he effortlessly threw her over his shoulder.

'Luke!'

'Let's go in the sea first!'

* * *

Lucas walked up the driveway to the Scott residents.

He'd spent a considerable amount of time in front of his uncle's grave, telling him about a certain someone. It was strange to be back in Tree Hill. Everything was the same, everything felt the same, only he didn't. He felt different. He felt oddly detached. He'd expected to feel nostalgic, and he did, of course he did, but he didn't have that overwhelming desire to stay. They were leaving in just a few hours for the airport and he'd fully expected to be dreading departing, especially after such a fleeting visit. But that dread was yet to form in the pit of his belly; currently he wasn't at all bothered by the return to New York. Of course he missed his family and of course he missed this place (mainly the quiet) but the draw of Peyton Wolf seemed to counteract what he was loosing and although that completely terrified him, it was also one completely exhilarating feeling.

'Knock, knock' Lucas chanted as he walked through the open back door.

'Uncle Luke!' James Lucas Scott scrambled from his seat, lunch forgotten in his bid to reach his much doted upon Uncle.

'Hey kido' Lucas chuckled, lifting the little boy up, groaning at his weight. 'Whoa you're getting big J-Luke'

'What're you doing here?' Haley was lent against the side board smiling, dish towel draped over her shoulder, hand on hip.

'I just wanted to say bye to my favourite nephew'

'Do you have to go so soon?' The puppy dog eyes and pout he was receiving saddened him more than he'd let on. Yes, he definitely missed seeing his nephew and kid sister growing in front of his very eyes. It was something he'd taken for granted.

'I'm sorry kido, I know it was a short visit but I've got work to do back in New York'

'I hate New York'

'I'll be back before you know it' He assured him.

'Why can't you work here?'

'Because the film is being shot out there'

'Mummy said to Daddy that you might never come back cause of Peyton' He frowned.

Lucas' eyes narrowed, peering at Haley over the younger Scott's head, he hardly thought that were fair. It wasn't and it certainly wasn't right for them to have planted such ugly seeds in their son's head.

'Even if I end up staying out there, I'll always come back to see you J man'

'Promise?'

'Uhuh, you think I'd miss out on all those holidays? Christmas, Thanks giving, Your birthday' Lucas wriggled his eyebrows.

'You forgot Easter'

'Definitely Easter' He chuckled. 'You've got to look after Lily for me, cause it's hard being a good big brother when I'm so far away' He successfully distracted the six year old. Jamie eagerly stuck out his chest, desperate to be the strong, protective figure that he saw his Uncle Lucas to be.

'I will'

'Thank you, now' He set his nephew down with an exaggerated exhale. 'Go see what's out in the drive?'

Jamie's eyes lit up. 'You got me something?!'

'Go see'

Jamie raced out of the room, grinning.

'What did you get him now?' Haley enquired with a roll of her eyes, sitting down at the table to resume the marking she'd been about to start.

'Just a bigger basket ball hoop, he's taller than that baby one now'

She shook her head, smiling all the same.

'So where's Peyton?'

'With Mum and Lily' He answered, eying the busy brunette. There was a reason she wasn't there. There was a reason he'd not wanted her to join him. 'I'll be surprised if she ever wants to step foot in your house again' He told her nonchalantly.

Haley's head shifted from the batch of homework she was sifting through. 'What?'

'You made her think she's not good enough Hales' He said, irritation in his voice.

'No I didn't-'

'I know you think you're helping but my love life has got nothing to do with you. Nothing'

'Luke-'

His anger came to a head as the previous night replayed in his head. 'She's been through a lot. It's about time you got off your fucking high horse and stopped judging people. You don't know her and to be quite frank I don't care what you think of her. I love her'

Haley's eyes widened dramatically.

'I do' He told her seriously. 'and your opinion isn't going to change that but if you can't be fucking civil then I won't make her endure your company again'

'Luke' Her eyes were teary. 'I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to upset her'

He exhaled heavily as he regarded her. He found it considerably hard to stay mad at her, she was his best friend after all, albeit an interfering pain in the ass at times but he loved her all the same. And in a sense, although her behaviour had perhaps been the reasoning behind his and Peyton's heated discussion, it had been a much needed discussion that had forced her to be honest and if anything he was thankful for that.

'Just, just keep your thoughts to yourself Hales' He sighed.

'I just don't want you to get hurt'

He almost groaned out loud. 'But you won't let me be happy either'

'That's not true'

'Yes, because telling my girlfriend she's not suitable for me isn't going to cause issues' He droned sarcastically. 'Haley she makes me happy and maybe if you could look past everything she's displayed as in the media you'd be able to see what I see' He didn't hug her goodbye, he could see her skepticism lingering in her eyes and he couldn't be near it. 'I love her Haley' He professed once more. 'I'm in love with her'.

* * *

Peyton sat in the kitchen of Karen Roe's house, in the kitchen of the house her boyfriend grew up in. She loved everything about it. It felt like a home. It felt lived in. She'd had a privileged life but she'd learnt long ago that money could not buy you happiness. This was a happy household, that much was obvious to her as she watched the mother and child across the room.

'That's right' Karen kept a devoted hand on Lily's back as the little girl frantically stirred the mixture, determination fixing her little eyebrows over her eyes.

'Is it done yet Mummy?'

'Hm, let me see' Karen lent over her daughter and dipped her finger in the bowl, looking up to the ceiling in contemplation as she tested the cake mixture.

Peyton watched on, watched how Lily waited patiently for an affirmative answer. Watched how the child looked up at her mother with large brown doting eyes.

'You know' Karen feigned ignorance. 'I think I need a second opinion' She dunked her finger in the bowl again and then smiled enthusiastically before playfully smearing the mixture round Lily's pouty lips.

'Mummy!' She shrieked delightedly, her high pitched screech swiftly turning into a very girly giggle.

'What do you reckon?' Karen tickled her side.

Lily licked her lips loudly. 'Mmm, it's yummy!'

Despite the happy mood, Peyton felt a pang of sadness, inevitably so. She'd been deprived of a scene such as this. She couldn't recall doing anything of the sort with her mother. She envied the little girl standing on the chair, mother at her side. She envied everything that Lily Scott had. The back of her throat constricted and she swallowed furiously. She didn't quite understand these emotions, unbridled and slaying her usually unbreakable exterior. It was as though she'd accidentally opened the flood gates and there was no closing them. She was usually so good at keeping herself fully in check, an absolute professional when it came to pretending, growing up there had even been times when she'd had herself convinced that all was fine. Watching Karen and Lily interact only accentuated the failed relationship she had with her own mother.

'There we go, all done' Karen announced when they'd finished putting the mixture on the baking tray. 'Good job honey'

Lily smiled proudly. 'How long will it take to cook?'

'Not long, here, you can take the timer and when it rings' She twisted the dial round before holding it out to Lily's eager little hands. 'You come tell me okay?'

'Okay'

Karen lifted her off the chair and she raced out of the kitchen, waving at Peyton as she went.

'Sorry about that Sweetie. She's been nagging me all morning to make cakes'

'God, don't apologise' Peyton shook her head 'I'm sorry for intruding. Luke said he'd only be gone a while'

'Yes, I should think he probably stopped by to speak to Keith, he's probably telling him all about you' She winked.

Peyton blushed, wondering if that was indeed what he was doing.

'I'm actually glad he's still gone, I wanted to talk to you on your own before you both left'

Peyton tensed, she'd already been cornered and labelled as unsuitable by his best friend, she wasn't ready to handle his mother's disapproval too.

Karen joined her at the table, sitting opposite, her gentle hand coming to rest on the slender model's knee. Peyton's gaze lingered on it, confused by the older woman's affection, she was waiting for it to begin. Waiting for the suggestion that she should leave Lucas Scott alone.

It never came though. Instead Karen smiled reassuringly, the same smile that Lucas gave her so frequently and in an instant she knew the last thing Karen was about to do was condemn her.

'I wanted to thank you'

Peyton's brow furrowed instantly. She was thanking her?

'He's himself again. He's been so dark, so lost Peyton but he's himself again and I'm certain I have you to thank for that'

'Karen' Peyton shook her head adamantly.

'I'm serious' The wiser woman insisted.

She shook her head again, she really didn't believe she was the one to cause this tremendous change that everyone seemed to be pointing out. He'd moved away from Tree Hill, he'd gone to New York, he'd got away from all the things that were eating away at him, that's what had changed him. Not her. 'I'm sure you must miss him, but maybe he needed to be away from Tree Hill for a while to recognise everything he's got'

'Maybe' Karen nodded but was clearly unconvinced by Peyton's reasoning. 'But, just call it mother's intuition- you're the reason Sweetie, not the place'

'I'm not sure what he sees in me' She quietly confided.

'I see what he sees sweetie. You're something else entirely. I have to admit I wasn't sure what to expect but you're smart, witty, stubborn, kind and beautiful'

Peyton swallowed, the lump back in her throat again. 'I'm really not that wonderful' She bashfully looked down, certain that Karen was just sweet enough to try and appease her.

'I'm a wonderful judge of character I'll have you know' She crossed her legs and tapped her hand against the table. 'Now, I know Lucas won't divulge anything because he's always been horribly private' Karen rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. 'So how did you two get together?'

Peyton's eyebrows raised and she bit her lip indecisively. She hardly wanted to alert Karen to the fact that their relationship had pretty much developed from a one night stand. 'Well, we, Brooke' She decided upon. 'Brooke er...'

'Brooke asked me what model I thought she should use as the face of clothes over bros' Lucas' voice reigned from the doorway. Both females looked in his direction, startled by his presence. 'She had a load of photos laid out and I chose Peyton' He smirked. 'Only Brooke didn't exactly want Peyton' He chuckled. 'I had to bribe her with a date with Julian'

'Well that's no surprise' Peyton muttered. 'I'm not exactly Brooke's number one fan' She elaborated to a curious Karen.

'Actually I think she's kind of fond of you now' He winked.

'She had nothing but pleasant things to say about you' Karen agreed. 'In fact I seem to recall her saying you were turning out to be somewhat perfect'

Lucas smiled, hoping Brooke's words would instill some belief into her and rectify Haley's assumptions. 'She is perfect'

* * *

From the moment the plane touched down in New York, the contented look that had been on Peyton Wolf's face vanished.

'Home sweet home' She drawled sarcastically. She'd had a few days without paparazzi, a few days without the media following her every move, she'd had a taste of a _normal_ everyday life and she liked it, liked it maybe a little too much.

Lucas felt for her. He really did and he was noticeably anxious on what awaited them. He'd broken through a barrier in their time alone together, she'd entrusted him with her past, given him a little piece of herself. He'd gained her trust, which was a hard thing to achieve when it came to Peyton Wolf, but as they exited the plane he feared it was all just the magic of his secluded home town that had fooled them both into a false sense of security. He was scared that she was going to push him away the second they were on the other side of this threshold, the second they were back on her home turf.

She consciously fumbled through her handbag, distracting herself from the eyes that were slowly clocking on to her presence. She just wanted to blend in with the crowds of people but the second they reached the first security gate that sense of normalcy vanished.

'Welcome back Miss Wolf. How was your trip?' The woman at the gate greeted, barely glancing down at the model's passport. Her sing song voice ignited a chain reaction of murmurs behind them.

Peyton smiled politely with a slight nod of her head.

'I'm so sorry, we weren't informed that you were coming, we'll have security escort you out' She hated the special treatment that was bestowed upon her just because of her name. She was certain that behind these people's overly smiley faces was bitterness.

'That won't be necessary thank you' She took her passport back, shifting her weight as she waited for Lucas to be let through. The woman took a notably lengthy amount of time to check his documents before allowing him by and Peyton swiftly urged him to quicken his pace.

'Can I carry your bags for you Miss Wolf? Is there anything you need Miss Wolf?' Lucas' teasing voice husked in her ear, successfully lightening her mood.

She smiled, rolling her eyes. 'I think I can manage'

'Are you sure?' They finally ventured out from all the gates and security checkpoints.

'Certain'

He took her hand with hesitance, a risky move but she surprisingly didn't fend him off, despite the people around. He exhaled heavily through his nose, her compliance alleviating some of his apprehension over their arrival to be replaced with a sense of pride. Sometimes he felt as though they had complete role reversals- she was meant to be the one complaining to hold his hand but yet here he was acting like a giddy teenage girl at the slender fingers encased within his. He loved her hands. They were so delicate, so soft and all his.

She let him lead her, her steps slowing significantly as they drew nearer to the arrivals area, drew nearer to the bustle of awaiting people, people awaiting friends and family returning home

'Luke' She tugged at his hand.

'What? You can't manage? Let me take it' He concluded the reasoning for her loitering. He confiscated her bag, effortlessly hooking it over his shoulder.

She shook her head with a playful glower 'I was fine!'

'Sure you were'

'That wasn't why I stopped' She disputed, warily looking past him 'I don't usually go out this way' She confided.

He looked out at the awaiting area, clocking on to her unease.

'Right. I can't see any paparazzi though Peyt'

She laughed. 'That doesn't mean they're not lurking' She enlightened him, her stare briefly looking down at her phone. 'I've got a car waiting for me round the other side. I usually go out another exit'

'Oh' He nodded, the pride and relief he'd felt just moments before diminished, leaving behind the bitter taste of rejection. 'Right' He began to take her bag off his shoulder, misunderstanding her statement completely, assuming she wanted to part ways, assuming as he'd already predicted, that she wouldn't want to be seen with him. 'You better have this back then'

She frowned perplexedly. 'Won't, won't you come with me?' She asked abruptly. 'I mean if you want to that is, I thought maybe you could come back to mine for a while or something? Or if not I could just drop you off at yours' She rambled faintly, avoiding his gaze. Maybe he'd come to his senses and wanted out but she wasn't ready to let go of their shared few days together, she wasn't ready to let go of him quite yet, wasn't ready to face reality and if that meant illuding them both by hiding out in her apartment for a few more sacred hours, so be it.

He grinned ecstatically. 'Yeah?'

Her nervous green eyes found him. 'Well yeah, it's not exactly out of my way'

'No, I meant yeah you're okay with me coming back to yours?' He reiterated.

She couldn't contain her smile. 'If you want to'

'Yes I want to' He repositioned her luggage on his shoulder. 'Lead the way Miss Wolf'

* * *

They'd managed to slip from the airport to her apartment undetected as Peyton had so desperately wanted.

Lucas followed her into her building, laughing at her disgruntled expression. Since turning her cell on, it was yet to stop vibrating with messages. Apparently she'd been disillusioned into thinking that she'd be able to get away with disappearing for a couple of days.

'You've been gone little over forty eight hours' He stated in astonishment of her high demand.

'I know' She smiled at his nativity. 'It's ridiculous, aren't you glad I turned it off?' She agreed.

'Very'

'It's any wonder I'm still alive with all these radioactive waves'

'Yeah, maybe you should turn it off' He snatched the annoying item, doing just that.

'Luke'

'What?' He drew her pouting face in to kiss her and she was more than glad to reciprocate.

'Ahem' Someone clearing their throat provoked Peyton to jerk away before Lucas could quite accomplish his task.

'Oh Ralf' She smiled bashfully at the fifty something man and Lucas had to bite his lip not to laugh at her crimson cheeks. 'I'm sorry, I didn't see you there'

'How are you Miss?' The elevator operator asked.

'Good thank you' She stepped into the lift, Lucas following.

'Been anywhere nice?' He smiled knowingly.

'Just away for a few days' Peyton nodded.

'You've got some visitors waiting for you'

'Visitors?' She furrowed her brow questioningly.

'You're parents were a little worried about your whereabouts I think'

'My parents?' She clarified, her frown deepening.

The lifts dinged as the doors opened on her floor, Ralf nodded, giving Lucas a supportive pat on the arm as they disembarked.

'Thank you' He muttered, unnerved by the man's somewhat sympathetic smile.

'Great' Peyton strode ahead of him. 'Either Mummy's off to rehab or they want to play happy families for the day' She muttered sarcastically to herself.

'Er, would it be best if I go?' Lucas jogged a couple of paces to keep up with her.

'No' She snapped, halting before her door. 'I mean, no' She repeated softly. 'If, if you don't mind' She looked up at him through her long lashes. 'They might leave quicker if you're here' She elaborated.

'Great, so your using me'

'Baby, I've been using you since the moment we met' She drawled with a mischievous smirk.

'Point taken'

She smiled, sliding her key into the door. 'I'm just going to apologise in advance' She hastily pushed the door open before he could interrogate her.

He'd met both her parents already, on separate occasions, both unintentionally, both under not so wonderful circumstances. The first being when her mother was more than a little inebriated and the other ending swiftly after her father asked how long he'd been sleeping with his daughter.

'Peyton?'

'Yeah it's me' She responded tiresomely, dropping her bags to the floor, her keys jangling as she set them on a small table. Lucas gently closed the door, shadowing behind her as she walked round the corner into the open space.

Her parents were standing by the leather sofas, something reminiscent of relief on their faces.

'Where've you been baby?' Ellie looked genuinely concerned. Her hair was perfectly shaped around her flawless face and her attire of skinny jeans, high legged boots and rocker tee made her look every part the Rock King's wife.

Lucas watched, bewildered. This woman was not the same woman he'd encountered that night. Granted, she wasn't wasted, she was sober, but what was perhaps even more prominent, was the happy glint in her eyes. Their shared looks were even more noticeable and even more striking and as they hugged, Lucas was sure that to anyone else they would have looked like the perfect mother and daughter. They even had him convinced to a certain degree as they smiled sweetly and embraced tightly.

It actually scared him to an extent, it scared him how effortlessly Peyton was able to put on this spectacular act. It didn't take a genius to pick up on the immense resenting feelings that she harboured for this woman, but right now you wouldn't have even considered that the smiling blonde held any animosity toward her mother.

'Don't be soft with her, where the hell have you been Peyton? You're cells been off. I ended up ringing Brooke Davis. She told me you'd gone to North Carolina! North Carolina Peyton?!' Mick ranted angrily.

'You're the one that told me I should take some time off'

'I didn't say you should go off gallivanting with some boy, with somebody that's only interest is getting his hands on your money' He glowered in Lucas' direction, apparently he wasn't so amused by his presence as he had been at their first meeting.

'I have no interest in what you're daughter's worth Mr Wolf' Lucas informed him, sincere through and through, irritated by his accusation.

'I'm not a little girl Dad' Peyton spoke before her father could respond to Lucas' statement, she was a little bewildered by his anger.

'No, but you're acting like one'

'Mick' Ellie hushed, her hand on his arm instantly soothing away the harsh line across his forehead. 'Stop it' She berated. Lucas was temporarily stunned by their relationship. He didn't know what he'd expected, but regarding Peyton's stories, knowing that he was so unfaithful, perhaps he'd expected their marriage to be loveless, for them to be cold and despondent. That certainly wasn't the case. He could see the blatant love they held for one another.

'Your father's a little stressed out. He saw the bikini shoot you did this morning' Ellie elaborated, softly explaining the reasoning behind her husband's short temper.

Peyton rolled her eyes. 'Dad' She sighed heavily.

'I don't want to talk about it Peyton. I've made my opinion pretty clear and you just ignore me so...'

'It's hardly anything inappropriate'

It was suddenly obvious to Lucas why she'd kept her problems hidden from her parents. If her father couldn't handle her being in a magazine in a two piece he'd certainly have lost his mind over the idea of nude photos floating around.

'Who's this?' Ellie successfully broke the awkward silence, eying Lucas, eyebrows raised curiously.

He blinked, shaking himself from his stunned state. 'Erm, Hi Mrs Wolf, I'm Lucas, it's nice to meet you'

'Lucas, it's nice to meet you too' Her eyes skittered questioningly toward Peyton. 'You never mentioned that you were seeing anyone Peyton'

He fully expected her to give a hostile response, for disdain to fill her eyes, for that reaction would have been completely warranted; it wasn't as though her Mother had been in any state to sit down and have a conversation. But Peyton smiled indifferently, proceeding onward with her charade.

'We're taking things slow, Mum' She admitted nervously, her eyes flitting to Lucas. He offered her reassurance, his hand slipping into hers. She wasn't denying their relationship, something he was undoubtedly proud of.

Mick's eyes wandered back to the man holding his daughter's hand, recollection suddenly forming on his aggravated face. 'So you're with him now? I thought you said he was nobody'

'Well, he, he is somebody'

Mick sighed, he supposed he should have been thankful, a relationship would hopefully keep her out of harms way, out of the partying lifestyle he was convinced she led. Only a part of him, the father in him wanted to snatch her back and stop her from ever growing up.

Ellie smiled, eagerly sitting back down, patting the space beside her. 'Well, why don't you both come sit down and tell us what you've been up to'

* * *

'What're you doing?' Lucas called from her famous record room. It was late evening and he'd been in there for going on an hour, completely immersed in her extensive collection. He'd only just noticed that she was no longer with him.

'Getting changed' Her voice was muffled from down the hall.

His mind instantly diverted from her music. Uncaring to her lengthy explanation of how each vinyl had it's allocated spot and _had_ to go back where he'd found it, he blindly slotted her copy of Elvis Costello back onto the nearest shelf in favour of watching her change- it really was a no brainer.

Despite getting to her room a few seconds too late, his breath still caught in his throat. She was wearing his hoody and a red pair of boy shorts.

Peyton laughed as she looked at him. 'What? I like it'

'Not complaining' He walked over the threshold, dropping down onto her bed and laying back with hands behind his head. 'Although in future if you could call me _before_ you decide to change, that would be appreciated'

She smiled, crawling onto the bed beside him. 'I'm sorry that _the parents _were here, seeing them wasn't exactly what I'd intended when I asked you back'

'I didn't mind- there not so bad, although I'm pretty sure your dad hates me' He grumbled. 'I can't believe Mick Wolf hates me'

'He does not. He was just in a bad mood and taking it out on you' She assured him.

He wasn't so convinced, but if he had to suffer with the famous rock legend hating him in favour of having his daughter, it wasn't much of a sacrifice.

'You know I, I don't get it' He admitted suddenly.

'Don't get what?'

'Well' He shifted onto his side, his thumb circling the side of her hip soothingly. 'You, you talk like you really dislike your mum and yet-'

'I'm so civil?' She finished.

'Yeah-'

'She's like this, she's extremely happy one minute, then depressed the next, I guess I've just learnt to adapt to whatever mood she's in'

'But you-' He paused, pulling her a little closer. He had this implicit need to protect her. 'You're carrying all these feelings around with you, you should tell her how you feel-'

She shook her head, stopping him from continuing. This was a sore subject that she was usually pretty damn good at avoiding. 'You don't get it. I know it's fucked up but her happy times, they're limited. When she's like this though, it's like she's my mum. She acts like she's my mum. She treats me like her kid and I'm, I can't help but revel in it. I try not to but-'

'She's your mum, you love her, there's nothing wrong with that'

'I shouldn't love someone that doesn't love me'

'She loves you' Lucas argued. He could see that.

'Today. Tomorrow I'm the bane of her existence. It could be twenty four hours, a week, a couple of months but sooner or later something will happen and she'll have a drink and everything will fall apart'

He tentatively threaded his fingers through her locks.

'Does she get help?'

Peyton snorted. 'I've lost count of the amount of times Dad's shipped her off to rehab. It's like a spa trip for her, she comes back glowing and claiming everything's going to change, that everything's going to be different, that she's different'

'I'm sorry Peyt'

She shook her head, snuggling closer to him. Despite her reservations over this whole talking and sharing thing Lucas had her doing, she was actually finding it rather therapeutic. 'Do you ever wish you had a different childhood?' She wondered softly.

'I wonder what it would have been like if Dan had stood by my Mum, if he'd acted like my father. Although I'm glad I never lived that life. Keith was the best father figure I could've hoped for' He tilted his head, looking down at her contemplative face. 'Why? Do you?'

'Sometimes I wonder, I wonder what it would've been like if they'd just given me up' She sucked on the inside of her cheek. 'They considered adoption' She whispered against his chest. 'It's one of the many things Mum's blurted at me during a drunken stupor. Dad tried to convince me it's not true but' She shook her head adamantly.

He pulled her to him tightly. 'Peyton'

'I'm not sad about it'

'You're entitled to be sad, that's kind of a big deal'

'I guess, but when she said it. You know what the first thing I thought was? That I wish they'd done that. Then at least I would have had parents that wanted me'

'They kept you, they wanted you and they might be a little fucked up at times Peyt, but they love you, I can see that'

'I know. But sometimes I wish they'd just given me up, for me and for them. I have happy memories of being on the road, touring and I wouldn't take them back for the world. But when I sit down long enough and think about it, there were more bad times than good' She draped her leg over his and settled her head on his chest. 'Sometimes I wish that I mattered more than the music, that they would've stopped. That sounds insane right? Here I am complaining and there are millions of people that wish they had my life'

'It's not insane' He got it. He really did.

'Sometimes I wish that I'd spent Sunday's at a park being pushed on the swing or just watching a film on tv and eating a roast dinner with my parents, not sitting in a tourbus amusing myself because my mum was too hungover to do anything and my dad was too exhausted to go anywhere.'

He stroked his hand over her golden locks, holding her head to his chest. 'They care about you' He told her gently. 'They were worried about where you were and your dad's pretty great at being the protective intimidating father'

'He doesn't like me modelling. He's been against it since the beginning' She sighed.

'Because he cares' He pointed out. 'He may not be great, but he's always been there for you, be grateful for that. My Dad got my own brother to bully me when I was in the second grade and tried to get me kicked off the basket ball team in high school, that's not exactly fatherly love'

'I'm sorry Luke' She scolded herself. 'Here I am going on and you-'

'It's alright' He dismissed. 'I like that you're talking to me' He teased.

'Me too' She glanced up, opening and closing her mouth.

'What?' He urged.

'You, you didn't need him you know' She told him hesitantly. 'I think you grew up to be pretty awesome without his guidance'

He fiddled with her fingers, smiling bashfully.

'I'd much rather have lived your life, lived somewhere like Tree Hill' She gave him her own smile, smoothly changing the subject of their parents. 'Tree Hill's pretty awesome too'

'Aw did I turn you into a country girl?'

'Not quite but it was nice to get away from it all for a few days'

'Yeah and you won my Mum over' He smiled up at the ceiling.

'Not your best friend'

'Don't worry. I had a word with her-'

'Lucas you didn't'

'I did' He tapped her nose. 'I'm not going to let anyone say things like that to you Peyt, including my best friend' His protectiveness made her giddy and unbearably hot all at once.

He glanced at his watch, exhaling. 'It's getting pretty late, I guess I should probably get going'

She nodded glumly as he sat up, the loss of his body causing discomfort to float over her.

'Or you could stay?' She blurted.

He looked over his shoulder at her. 'Here?' He patted the bed.

'Well yeah, it's late and' She shrugged, trailing off.

'Well I have got to go meet Julian in the morning, if I stayed I'd be nearer to the studio' He weighed out the positives. 'Besides I really can't sleep that great without you' It really wasn't a lie. He found the noisy buzz of the city so much easier to handle when he had her to distract him.

'And you look so tired' She agreed. 'You probably should stay'

'Probably' He nodded. 'And if I went I wouldn't be able to do this' He held her chin, leaving a chaste kiss on either side of her mouth before letting their lips connect in a slow kiss.

'Mm' She murmured as he pulled away, faces still millimetres apart. 'That would be kind of tragic'

'Uhuh, it really would'

'Stay' She laid back, tugging him on top of her. .

'You know we'd be breaking yet another of your rules. No men staying over'

'You broke that rule already' She ran her hands through his hair, her legs shifting to accommodate him between them

'Darling you're the one that gave into yourself and that was completely innocent, we didn't have sex'

'Who said we're having sex? You're sleeping on the couch'

'Like hell I am' He sharply hoisted her right leg over his hip, causing her to shriek loudly followed by a breathy laugh.

He smiled into her neck, paying special attention to that spot that always got her murmuring his name.

'Luke' She whimpered. He loved it when she said it like that.

'Luke wait'

He looked up, brow raised questioningly.

'I've never had sex in this bed' She exhaled, biting her lip as she regarded him.

'Seriously?' His disbelief was loud and clear.

'Yes'

'Wow'

She whacked him lightly. 'It's not that unbelievable'

'Well come on, you're not exactly Miss innocent'

'I abide by my rules'

'And you're going to let me be the man to corrupt your bed's innocence?' He teased.

'No, you're sleeping on the couch'

She giggled when he tickled her sides.

'But sweetheart, the poor bed has suffered for so long, it's due some action. Are you really going to deny the bed what it wants?'

'It gets _action' _She smiled seductively.

He groaned, eyes scrunched together as he mentally envisioned her doing certain things to herself.

'Here' She stifled her laughter, thrusting a pillow in his face. 'You can go get yourself settled on the couch'

He blindly tossed the pillow across the room.

'I'm comfortable right here thanks' He rasped, pinning her arms above her head. Her chest heaved as she surrendered beneath him, arching her back invitingly as he kissed his way along her jawline. His restless fingers soon found their way to the top of his hoody that adorned her top half, slowly dragging the zip down her torso, her heart racing wildly.

'I love you' He whispered quietly enough that entitled her to pretend she hadn't heard. But he was neither deaf nor blind, not at all. He heard the little sharp breath she took and he saw the very, very slight curl of her lips.

Her eyes fluttered closed, and he stared at her adoringly. He loved everything about her. He loved the way her hair was sprawled out messily, the way her cheeks were flushed, the way she was biting her lip, the way her legs were bent at the knee to cradle him. He loved everything and right now he especially loved the strip of creamy skin running from her neck to the waist band of her red boy shorts. He licked his lips. The navy material of his hoody parted a fraction more with her every breath and she was suddenly not such a big fan of the garment and was just seconds from telling him so when he sat up suddenly.

Her eyes sprung open and if looks could kill he was certain he'd be dead.

'Where're you going?' She growled.

'I thought I was banished to the couch?' He kinked his brow, mischievous eyes looking down at her. She pouted 'Ask me to stay in _your_ bed' He demanded.

He expected a haughty response. She was past the point of playing games, no longer interested in their playful banter.

'I want you in my bed' She whispered, face serious. 'Are you really going to deny me what I want?' She added coyly.

He instantly crawled back up her, smiling. 'I don't think I could deny you a single thing even if I tried'


	16. The Green Eyed Monster

Three weeks had drifted by since their return to New York and to Lucas' great surprise, their relationship seemed to be going nothing but smoothly. So much so that he was just waiting for the rug to be pulled from beneath his feet at any given moment.

Relationships weren't easy. Fact. Relationships definitely weren't straight forward when it came to Peyton Wolf. Fact.

So it seemed somewhat abnormal to him that they'd had a pretty significant heated discussion, that she'd revealed something so dangerously personal to him and yet they'd just moved past it as if it had never happened.

He couldn't determine if that was healthy or not.

That's not to say things hadn't changed, he wasn't blind to her much more attainable self. She was far more at ease after her revelation. He knew that she didn't see the point in dwelling upon things she couldn't change because she knew very well that it would only cause self doubt and insecurities to accumulate in her usually confident self. She didn't like that confidence being assaulted so severely for it was what got her through each passing day and he didn't want to be the one to threaten it once more.

And although their partnership appeared to be moving from strength to strength, Lucas's obligation to keep Peyton happy was causing him to harbour his own doubts and insecurities.

He wanted to stop playing the hide and seek game they were both silently playing. Neither of them had breached the subject of going public, fearing it would ensue in nothing but an argument. Despite her initial willingness for public displays of affection on their arrival back in the big apple, Peyton had since made it implicitly clear that she didn't want to be seen in public as an item. It wasn't a voiced opinion, it was something she'd not even needed to say aloud. She was pretty lithely when it came to dodging getting snapped by a unwelcome camera that Lucas was quick to catch on to her aversion. And to begin with it had perhaps not bothered him but on this particular morning, he was rapidly realising that going public was something he needed. He needed the world to know that she was taken.

That realisation swiftly came about as he sat at a little coffee house, reading through the morning newspaper.

Lucas' narrowed eyes burnt right through the occupants seated at the table opposite him.

The three men were probably around his age and he wouldn't have given them a second glance if it weren't for what they were all peering at and oh so crudely discussing.

_'What I wouldn't give to get some of that' _

_'She's fucking hot' _

_'And apparently fucking easy' _

Their sniggers had Lucas shaking with rage.

He was suddenly very much aware that his girlfriend's image was posted at peoples finger tips. That anyone could flick through a magazine with the assurance of finding her pretty face or google her to discover the alluring body that was meant to be just his.

He averted his heavy gaze to the table top, intent on blocking out the transpire of words that were somewhat deafening.

Of course he was aware that she was famous. Of course he was aware that the male species in particular recognised her as a sex symbol. He'd been aware of all these factors, they were perhaps the reasoning behind his own initial desire for her, he after all, at the end of the day had been one of _those_ guys. However, he knew he wouldn't have said such vulgar things like these men. He didn't like it one bit and he was suddenly very much on board with her father's belief; there was surely something better out there for her than modelling.

_'Yeah she slept with the editor of Vogue'_

That was the last comment his fragile ears could handle, he was up and across the small isle at the three men's table and before he could even comprehend what he was doing he was snatching the magazine from their grimy hands.

'You don't talk about her' He growled crazily.

His audience looked at one another bewilderedly and then three immature grins broke out on their faces at his somewhat psychotic outburst.

'Okay dude. Whatever, it's a free world' The middle man held his hand out. 'Can I get that back'

Lucas looked down at the magazine in his sweating hands. Peyton's seductive smile looking up at him.

He gritted his teeth and spun around before he did anything really stupid.

'Hey- I paid for that man'

He didn't answer, he wouldn't give her back to such vile creatures. He gripped onto the shiny mag, refusing to let go, ignoring the curses of the three suddenly unamused men in the background.

He'd not seen the final spread and as he stalked out of the premises his eyes took in every detail, every photo and he didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit. He'd been there. He'd been there, watched as her photo was taken, he'd enjoyed the whole little show only he'd not for a second thought about what was going to happen with the roll of films. He'd not thought about the thousands of other people that were going to be able to see what he could.

As soon as he exited the small coffee house, his eyes located a bin, shoving the magazine into it's depths, never to be seen again. He only wished he could do that with every other copy.

He was angry. He was vaguely aware that he was perhaps overreacting but right now he was past the point of being able to calm himself down. He knew there was only one way to achieve that, he needed to speak to her. He needed to see her safe in front of him. He needed his girlfriend.

* * *

Lucas had just spent the last hour trying to track down Peyton, something he hardly thought should be as near complex as it had been. No one seemed to be answering their phones and after being repeatedly told by Brooke's people that she was on location and it was against their policy to hand out that sort of information to strangers, his teetering mood had plummeted beyond repair. He wasn't a stranger. And despite telling the annoyingly happy receptionist that, his usually oh so effective charming skills had failed to persuade her otherwise. He didn't even understand why he was being so foul tempered but no one seemed to want to help him and the unpleasant summer humidity was not helping matters. Julian had been the one to eventually save him from his self wallowing; the young director filling him in on both Brooke and Peyton's whereabouts. Apparently there was a photo shoot at a studio a few blocks away and his urgency to find her increased excessively with that knowledge.

Another photo shoot. Another image. Another magazine.

Her face was everywhere. The sides of buildings, buses, stores. _Everywhere_.

And he wanted it to all just stop.

He pushed open the doors with heavy hands.

'Sir you can't be in-'

'I can' He snapped, cutting off the young girl who was no doubt about to usher him back out. She swallowed her words, nervously backing away as he stalked further into the studio, his face strained with frustration, forehead sticky with perspiration. The airy studio space was thankfully cooler than the unbearable heat outside, bringing him minor relief.

'Luke' Brooke smiled, clearly unexpecting his visit.

He attempted a smile of his own but failed miserably as he scanned the room. His eyes diminished into a meager squint as he digested _her _attire.

'What's that?'

'What's what?'

'What's she wearing?'

Brooke rose her brow, looking up at him with patronizing eyes. 'A dress Lucas' She drawled in her distinctive rasp.

'I don't want her wearing that' The words fled from his mouth before he was able to relinquish any control over his wavering frustration.

'Excuse me?' Brooke's amusement over his weird behaviour was quick to vanish, replaced with sudden contempt. 'What's wrong with it?' She spat touchily, unappreciative to his lack of sensitivity on a design she was particularly proud of. He was always so polite when it came to her work, never had he said a bad word, he'd always been so supportive so his statement hit her full force.

'It's too short'

The little black number was short, but not what Brooke classified as too short.

'What are you? Her fucking father now?'

'What's going on?' Peyton, who'd been watching from afar, had silently excused herself from the other models to investigate the cause of their raised voices.

Lucas exhaled, relief sifting through him to finally have her so close.

'He thinks your dress is too short' Brooke explained with a glower.

Peyton kinked a brow in his direction. 'Too short?' She looked down at herself. 'I thought you liked my legs' She stated, suddenly self conscious about her lengthy limbs.

'That's a huge understatement' Lucas mumbled. 'Of course I do. I just, I...'

'What?' Peyton encouraged with a soothing smile.

'I don't want other people seeing them' He admitted, looking directly at her.

Her gentle smile dwindled and her eyes instantly hardened. 'Lucas'

'Oh my god' Brooke exclaimed disbelievingly. 'She's a fucking model Luke. Please don't go all possessive psycho boyfriend on us' She chided. 'Peyton ignore him' She instructed with a flick of her wrist, coaxing the slender blonde back across the room.

'No' Lucas' deep voice argued. 'I'm serious. I don't want you wearing that' He announced more confidently with the reminder of the three vile admirers he'd encountered just that morning, ever clearer in his mind.

'Well' Peyton murmured astutely. 'You don't really have a fucking say in what I wear or do'

'Peyton-'

'I'm not even having this conversation with you Lucas'

He grabbed her arm, stopping her retreating form.

Both girls' eyes widened at his domineering action. 'Please' His desperate, whining tone, completely non-fitting with the conflicting tight hold at her wrist.

'Let. Me. Go'

'Can we please just talk. In private. Please?' He spluttered hastily. 'Please, I just want to talk to you'

Regardless of her ever growing impatience and anger over the situation, his begging eyes miraculously worked their way through her steely exterior, breaking the last of her resolve.

'One minute' She snapped.

His hand instantly released her wrist and she jolted it away from him, making sure to rub it exaggeratedly as she marched loudly across the studio.

Lucas warily glanced at a less than impressed Brooke Davis.

'I just want to talk to her' He insisted, unsure why he felt the need to explain himself.

'Yeah, well you've got all of one minute. I'm on a schedule'. She dismissed.

Lucas nodded, hastily following in Miss Wolf's tracks before Brooke hurt him.

She was standing by the far wall of the little dressing room, hand on a clothes rail and he didn't need to see her face to know that she was scowling.

'I don't want you to do this'

'You said' She spun around, throwing her hands out and shaking her head, clearly undeterred by his disapproval. She apparently wasn't going to be coaxed to change out of the garment, regardless of what he wanted. 'It's not going to change anything though. I just don't get it' She really didn't. 'You _know_ what I do' She laughed. 'There are pictures of me in less than this Lucas' Her laughter subsided as she recalled previous photo shoots she'd done, something she didn't want to encourage him to go looking for.

'I know' He grimaced. The three men filled his head once more, taunting him over and over. 'I'm not talking about the fucking dress' He blurted, frustration causing his own arms to flap out.

'I'm lost'

'I mean the modelling. All of it. I don't want you to do it'

Her brow went sky high.

'I, I saw these guys this morning- I was at that little arty cafe- you know the one? On...' He trailed off. Of course she didn't know. She didn't go anywhere where she could be noticed. 'They were looking at that bikini photo shoot you did' His jaw stiffened. 'The things they were saying' He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Her stare softened.

'I can't, I don't' He shook his head vigorously. 'I know I'm being a dick, it's not intentional though. I just, you shouldn't be talked about that way and I know I'm being possessive and-'

'Lucas' She halted his ramblings, stepping toward him, her hand lacing over his. All traces of anger had gone from her eyes and a small smile was curling her lips. 'I'm sorry' She said sympathetically.

His brow knitted together, confused by her sudden little smile. 'Sorry?' He didn't expect a sorry? A slap maybe but not a sorry.

'Yes' A small laugh past her lips. 'I wasn't, I'm not, I'm not very good at being compassionate sometimes' She rolled her eyes at his agreeing nod. 'I know this is all hard for you, you're not use to it, but you have to remember I've grown up in it. I deal with _those_ guys on a daily basis. You were one of those guys' She dared him to protest and his mouth opened to do just that.

Initially their relationship had appeared to be only based on attraction but in retrospect Lucas could safely say there had been an undeniable pull, stronger than just physical appeal that resulted in their first night spent together.

He closed his mouth though, she was right. He knew he had discussed her crudely on more than one occasion and despite what he felt now, she had been a conquest, an obsession and that's perhaps what scared him most. He'd wanted her. He'd got her. He was scared that some other guy would win her too and he could only assume that they all imagined doing the most inappropriate things to her, just as he had, just as he did. Only now he had had full right to think those things, and _they_, _they _did not. She was _his_ girlfriend.

'It's no big deal. It doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother you'

'It will never not bother me' He declared emphatically.

She fiddled with the pale blue material covering his chest. 'I'm not changing out of the dress Luke' She whispered softly.

'I know' Defeat left his mouth in the form of a heavy exhale.

'I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself'

'Even if that were entirely true, I'd still have this unexplainable need to protect you'

'The only person I need protecting from is you' She snorted abruptly.

He frowned. 'I'd never hurt you'

She looked at him through long eyelashes, scepticism evident in her intense stare. He was the _only_ person she'd technically been in a relationship with. The _only_ person she'd allowed her guard down for. The _only_ person she'd opened her heart to, even if she wasn't ready to admit it. He was the _only_ person that _could_ possibly hurt her.

He cupped her face. 'I'm not usually a jealous person'

'You have no reason to be now' She tilted her head from side to side, her nose caressing his. 'You're the only one that has me, the rest, they can see but they can't touch' She bit her lip, smiling seductively. 'Okay?' She didn't wait for his answer, persuading him further with a touch of her lips against his open mouth.

He stiffened notably as she knew he would. He wanted to talk. He always wanted to talk. He didn't want this conversation to be over. She did though and she knew the best way to certainly end it.

'Peyton stop' His objections went forgotten when her tongue forcefully made it's way across his. He predictably jerked her hips to him, consumed by the need that burnt so frequently in her presence.

'Stop?' She questioned softly, her little hands on his belt buckle.

'Don't stop'.

* * *

Brooke glanced up at the sound of heels crossing the wooden flooring, her head was quick to jerk back, doing a double take. She'd been about to chastise them for being a hell of a lot longer than one minute but their appearance had somewhat different words tumbling from her mouth 'You did not just have sex' She hissed lowly at the unsuccessfully nonchalant pair.

Lucas' cheeks reddened with her sharp announcement. His mouth opened in an attempt to persuade her otherwise but her head shook violently in protest.

'Don't try and convince me you haven't Lucas Scott, her hair is totally screaming sex aftermath'

'Brooke' Peyton was apparently not embarrassed. 'All is fine, calm down. Kyle? Can you-' The hair stylist lingering in the background who was eager to fix his ruined work was already on his way toward her.

'It's fine Brookie it'll be perfect in two seconds' He promised with a wink sent in Lucas' direction to which the increasingly uncomfortable Lucas grimaced.

Peyton laughed at his blatant uneasiness.

Brooke bit her lip, her angry façade dwindling as she attempted to stifle the amused smile that was daring to show. His humiliation always brought her great entertainment and the glaring red lipstick marks around his lips only added to her current amusement.

Kyle was apparently the only sympathetic one to his state, pausing in repining Peyton's locks in favour of handing the scowling man a tissue. Lucas took it suspiciously.

'You've got lipstick round your mouth' Brooke enlightened him with a teasing smirk.

'Oh' He hurriedly put the tissue to use. 'Thanks man'

'You know I think I'm going to start banning you from _coming _here, no pun intended' Brooke declared, her eyebrows raised mischievously.

'Funny'

'I'm quite serious. You always distract my model' Her eyes narrowed as she noticed a blatant hicky on the side of Peyton's neck. 'Not to mention, tarnish her' She grumbled.

'Well' Lucas snorted. 'I'm completely innocent, I didn't initiate it, she however...'

'Don't you do that' Peyton whined.

'You started it' He shrugged.

'Only to shut you up'

'Oh thank you, thank you very much'

'You're welcome' She smiled sweetly to which he glowered. 'What? I put a smile on your pouting face didn't I?'

'So it was a pity fuck?'

'Pretty much'

He eyed the intimidatingly fit male specimens hovering topless in the background. Their eyes were on Peyton and the way they all looked at her like they had more right to her than him was beyond infuriating and given his not so wonderful day so far, they were like the icing on the cake, working in heightening his already raging insecurities.

While Kyle stepped away to find some more hair pins, he seized her.

She gasped, startled by his sudden closeness.

'What're you doing?' She hissed, all traces of any smile gone. Her PDA fear turning her rigid. But Lucas didn't care if they got snapped or caught or if the whole world knew of their relationship. In fact he was beginning to want just that more and more, today for the reason being that everyone would know she was _taken, his_. Peyton however whole heartily disagreed to which Lucas had come to gather was partly because she was scared and partly because she didn't want to enforce her life upon him. He'd come to quickly decide that when it came to it, he really didn't care what life he lived, as long as it was one with her. 'Luke don't' She tried to wriggle out of his hold but his mouth was suddenly over hers, kissing her as boldly as she had he in the dressing room.

'No!' Brooke screeched, bringing more attention to the kiss that Peyton was so desperately hoping wouldn't be witnessed by the filled studio. 'Hair, hair hair' Brooke tugged at him. 'Get your fucking hands away from her hair' She rasped angrily. His hands reluctantly left Peyton's blonde curls, instead keeping her struggling form in place with hands at her hips. Brooke didn't like that either though, loudly telling him to get his hands off her fucking dress too. By this stage Peyton's protests had diminished, so he obligingly moved his twitching fingers to hover mid air, avoiding any more of Brooke's loud interruptions. The brunette let go of him, stopping her futile efforts, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips as she waited for him to stop his assault.

Peyton's unwillingness had meanwhile subsided; no longer was she aware of their audience, completely immersed in Lucas' tentative lips. She could barely breathe, her head foggy with the absence of oxygen but she wouldn't, couldn't bring herself to pull away and that lack of control, lack of power when it came to all things Lucas Scott was what terrified her. The last few weeks had been perfect but she wasn't naive, not at all. She knew he needed her to take that step, that he wanted her to be trusting enough to disregard the media circus that followed her, for her to not care if they were seen together. She knew he'd been harbouring his insecurities but they'd reached their limit causing the decent of his usual self confidence. She was yet to reciprocate those three little words he'd first said to her almost four weeks ago and every time he'd murmured it to her since she'd been ridden with guilt for not saying it back.

Lucas finally pulled away, thumb brushing over her flushed cheek.

'Are you quite done?' Brooke snapped.

He smirked at Peyton's still closed eyelids and kissed her once more for good measure. 'I think so'

'I am glad. Now go' Brooke demanded. 'God look what you've done' She moaned at Peyton's unresponsive form.

'I'm going' Lucas chuckled. 'I'll see you later Peyt' She didn't answer, couldn't answer.

* * *

Peyton finished working somewhat later than schedule, thanks to Lucas' unappreciated visit. She arrived at his apartment a little after nine and Lucas could tell by her her angry staccato wraps against the door that she was annoyed.

'You're lucky I'm here' She told him shortly when he finally plucked up enough courage to let her in. She pushed by him frowning to which he couldn't help but smirk, rolling his eyes as he followed her. He'd had a good few hours to calm down his somewhat unpredictable temper that had been driving him to insanity for the most part of the day, he'd curbed his earlier unwillingness to understand. She however had not, she'd had the last few hours to get wrought up over his forced kiss.

'I can't believe you, I can't believe you did _that_ and in front of that many people'

'Did what?' He feigned confusion.

'You _know what!_' She snapped back agitatedly.

'It's hardly a crime' He scoffed. 'To kiss my girlfriend' He made to do just that, knowing that if he could just join their lips, this conversation would be well and truly over.

'No you don't' She flung her hand out against his chest, stopping his heady approach.

'Oh come on'

'No. I'm serious Lucas' She crossed her arms in front of her chest. 'You're such an ass. You can't do that'

'And I'm serious too. I don't care about being caught, I don't care if the world knows, I want the world to know'

'For the sole reason that you're jealous- you want everyone to know that I'm taken' She retorted with infuriation.

'So what?'

'Don't you trust me?'

'I trust you I just don't-'

'Trust everyone else' She finished for him. 'God, you have no idea how much you sound like my dad right now' And she hated that. She didn't want to ever put him and her father in the same bracket. Lucas was meant to be on her side.

'Well your dad has a point' He shrugged. He understood Mick Wolf's concerns about his daughter's career a whole lot more clearly today.

'I thought we'd gone over this this afternoon'

'No, I tried to have an adult discussion about it with you but you shoved your tongue down my throat' He vented in frustration.

'You're such a hypocrite and I didn't hear you complaining' She snapped. 'And you didn't try and have an adult conversation, you had a temper tantrum over the length of my dress Lucas, the length of my dress!' She exclaimed.

'It was fucking short' He grumbled.

'God, you're such a dick' She flopped back onto the newest edition to his apartment, a plush cream two seater. It had been a long day. She was tired and just wanted to get into bed, she wanted to get into bed with Lucas, she didn't want to be having a screaming match.

'Look, I know we're taking things slow but I need to, I don't, I don't think it's completely unreasonable to want some kind of commitment from you- I don't think it's that unreasonable to want to walk down the street with you or to want to kiss you in public and yeah, that's probably because I want the world to know you're taken probably because of some jealous male possessive thing but what's so wrong with that? I lov-'

'Lucas I've told you before' She craned her neck, leaning back on her forearms. 'Once the media take an interest you won't be able to walk down the street-'

'I'm not saying I want to flaunt it-'

'I know you're not but I don't think you really understand how extreme it can get'

'Well I'm going to have to learn how to live with it because the thing is- I want to be with you and right now all we do is spend time at each others apartment. It can be like it was in Tree Hill'

She laughed, shaking her head, he was disillusioned.

'Well maybe not quite like that' He corrected himself. 'You know, you're questioning whether or not I trust you but at the end of the day it's you that doesn't trust me' He accused. 'You're the one that doesn't want to be seen with me'

'That's not true'

'If it's really not then come with me to the wrap party tomorrow. I want you to come-'

'I'm going already'

'I know. I want you to come with me, together, as a couple'

'What? Luke no I...' She shook her head.

'Come on' He whined, the sofa dipped as he knelt on the cushions, nudging her legs apart to settle over her.

She pushed the heals of her palms into her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to distract herself from how close he suddenly was.

'Please' His voice whispered against her ear. 'For me. It's not as though it's a huge event- it's a party for the people involved in this film' He kissed that spot behind her ear.

'I'm scared that _they'll _ruin what we have' She admitted quietly, almost unintelligibly.

'_They_ can't sweetheart. Not unless you let them and right now you are' He hummed tentatively, thumb stroking soothingly over her cheek.

She took a deep breath.

'Please'

She opened her eyes, staring up into his deep blue gaze. At the beginning she'd avoided doing just that, avoided looking into his eyes, feared seeing the love that he harboured for her. Now, now she revelled in it. She loved the warm feeling that tingled it's way down her spine every time he looked at her like that.

'God fine' She murmured.

'Yeah?' He grinned widely.

'Yes' She exhaled. She owed him this much. She fiddled with his fingers before allowing her eyes to flutter back to his. 'You better kiss me right now though before I change my mind'

'That, Peyton Wolf' He whispered 'I can gladly do'.


	17. Seeing For the First Time

Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep.

The rhythmic beeps coming from the heart monitor resonated in the otherwise silent room.

When Brooke Davis was nineteen, she'd stood in the hospital beside her father.

She'd felt nothing.

He'd slipped away right before her and she'd felt absolutely nothing. Not an ounce of sadness.

She could barely scrape together a single memory of him growing up.

She'd not seen him in nearly four years.

He'd never been there. Always at work. Always busy. There 'd _always_ been something more important.

He'd provided all the materialistic things she could have ever possibly wanted but it wasn't enough. She'd resented him for a long time. Resented the fact that her mother chased him from state to state with his work, leaving her behind with the nanny. Unwanted. Unloved.

So as she'd watched his eyes flicker shut, never to open again, she'd felt nothing, not a single tear was shed.

She'd walked out of the hospital not ten minutes later, resuming her day as though nothing had happened.

A week later when she inherited his fortune, she'd given it away to charity without a second thought, rid of him once and for all.

Today, however, as she stood in the hospital, she was far from the calm girl she'd been back then, far from feeling nothing. She felt physically ill with worry, with dread, an emotion she'd not ever experienced to this capacity.

Even when the doctors told her he was okay, even when she'd been allowed in to see him, even when he'd opened his eyes and squinted up at her, giving her his signature smile; her turning stomach still refused to dissipate, her insides in knots.

She couldn't bare to loose someone she loved, someone that meant so much to her. He'd taught her that she was lovable. Her friends were essentially her family and Lucas Scott was the brother she'd never had.

'I'm going to try her phone again' Her distinctive voice rasped, still wavering.

His head nodded a fraction. 'Brooke, I'm alright' He muttered a reassurance, knowing by her uncharacteristic quietness that she was clearly a nervous wreck.

'I know' She sniffed. 'I swear to god I'll kick your ass if you ever scare me like this again though' She scorned teasingly, gently squeezing his hand. 'I'll be back in a moment' She kissed his head affectionately before leaving the room.

The door clicked shut behind her and he was alone with the constant bleeping of his own heart. He hated hospitals, hated everything about them. They in sighted panic in him. They only ever withheld bad news. Keith. His mother's traumatic pregnancy. His best friend being hit by a car. He swallowed thickly, willing himself not to go there. Unlike Brooke, he'd felt that panic on more than one occasion.

Instead of allowing himself to dwell on the past, he stared up at the ceiling.

36.

There were 36 ceiling tiles. He'd already counted them several times but he began again, desperate for a distraction.

1-2-3-4-5....at tile number twenty four the door suddenly sprung open, breaking his hypnotic state.

He took in the bedraggled figure of Peyton Wolf.

Her face was blanched, her eyes glistening with anguish.

He watched her swallow thickly and then she was hurrying towards him.

She didn't speak for a few agonising moments, her intense stare taking in all the equipment, all the tubes.

'Are you, are you in pain?' She finally murmured, her voice teetering on the edge.

He took a deep, exaggerated breath. 'I'm okay' He weakly squeezed her hand. 'Don't. Don't cry'

'You're a jerk' Her bottom lip quivered. 'For not telling me'

'It's not important'

She shook her head in disagreement. It was important. It was more than important.

She'd spent the best part of the last half hour trying to keep the uneasiness in her stomach at bay.

Brooke had rung her.

She'd not answered. She'd been upset. She'd not been up to speaking to anyone, least of all Brooke. But by the sixth call she'd relented and answered and since that very moment when she'd been informed he was in the hospital her mind had been spinning painfully, plagued with the worst possible scenario that would greet her when she arrived.

He was alive though and she could breathe again.

Her eye lashes flickered as she held his droopy hand clutched in the both of hers. She bought it up to her quivering lips, kissing his palm gently. 'God, I, I....I love you Lucas'.

* * *

**Twenty Four Hours Earlier.**

'Everything okay?' Lucas handed her a coffee over the breakfast bar. 'Peyt?'

She looked up from the somewhat cryptic message on her phone. 'Oh, nothing. I just forgot I said I'd have brunch with my Dad' She muttered, it wasn't exactly what his text said. _Your apartment. Now. _She couldn't recall arranging to meet him but then again she had been a bit distracted as of late and he'd not been in the best of moods either so she tried not to over analyse the text, stuffing her cell into her bag. 'I better get going before he looses the plot' She rolled her eyes.

He smiled. 'Well, I'd offer to come with you, but I think he really would loose the plot if I intruded on his precious father daughter time' She nodded in agreement. Lucas reached over the counter, stroking her cheek affectionately. 'I'll see you back here this evening? Or do you want me to pick you up?'

'I'll get ready here. I'll have Brooke send over my dress and stuff later' She forced a little smile. She wasn't exactly ecstatic over the impending evening but his excitement over the wrap party was enough for her to be strong enough to do this.

'Okay' He kissed her sweetly. 'Have a nice brunch and don't miss me too much' He winked and she shook her head with an amused smile.

'I'll see you later' She pressed her lips to his once more before tearing herself away.

Fifteen minutes later she was a few blocks away, letting herself into her apartment, startled to find Mick loitering in the entrance, pacing back and forth.

'What's going on?' She crossed her arms. As she'd dreaded this was clearly no forgotten brunch arrangement. She knew that look on her fathers' face.

'Where have you been?'

'I stayed at Lucas' last night'

Mick pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded.

'What's happened?'

His hand dropped from his face and he let out a heavy exhale. Peyton took in his drained appearance, the bags under his eyes. She always teased him for them, he could no longer handle an all nighter after a gig. Only she knew that the black sink holes had not been attained from a night of partying.

'Your mother'

She took a couple of steps further into the hallway.

'She, there's no easy way to say this Peyton-'

'Just say it Dad' She sighed irritatedly. 'Have you taken her to rehab for the weekend?' She added tiresomely.

'No, no, I, I wish that were the case'

Her brow furrowed. 'Can you stop being so obscure'

'She was found with heroine on her last night'

Peyton pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. 'Found?'

'She was driving like a lunatic- high as a kite. Got pulled over'

'Where is she?'

'She's been arrested, taken into custody' He mumbled.

'Why aren't you down there bailing her out?' Peyton responded. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. She'd been stopped for drink driving before but had been let off with a severe warning after a lot of persuasion from her father- having money and being a celebrity really did help sometimes.

'It's not as easy as that. She, she hit down a man'

Peyton's eyes widened.

'He's okay thank god, a broken arm but other than that he's fine'

She ran her hand through her hair, conflicting emotions racing through her system. Ashamed. Concerned. Angry. Saddened.

'Maybe she should stay there'

'Peyton' Mick pulled her stiff form into his arms. 'Darling, I know you're upset, but she's your mother and she needs help'

Her head darted up from the safety of his chest. 'Help? You think a weekend in a rehab facility is going to fix her? Nothing can fix her, she's fucked up Dad, she's past the point of help'

'I don't believe that'

'Why do you even care? It's not like you love her'

She could almost here his teeth grinding together. 'Don't you ever question my love for your mother'

She scoffed. 'Please, don't act as though you're the fucking saint, you're the most unfaithful husband a woman could have, you're the reason she's so screwed up' She blurted.

He blinked and she suddenly felt guilty. She'd never seen the hurt expression that contorted his features.

'You don't know what it's like Peyton, so don't you judge me, don't you dare' He turned away from her. He was quiet for a long minute. 'You're friend's with Felix, his father's out of the country and I haven't been able to get a hold of him yet. I want you to go see him, explain the situation and tell him money isn't an issue' He glanced back at her. 'Can you do that? If not for your Mum, or for Me, for yourself. This will be a mess for us all if this hits the press'

She nodded.

'Thank you' He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

'Dad I'm sorry!' She exclaimed after him, distracted by his blank eyes.

'Call me when you've seen him' He didn't wait for an answer already out the door.

Her face crumpled and she staggered to the wall, resting her forehead against it, her eyes clamped shut, refusing to allow the tears welling to escape.

She didn't want to deal with this. She wanted to go back to Lucas. Only she had to deal with this, she was compelled to because no matter what, at the end of the day, regardless of what her mother did, she was her mother, the only one she had and despite their differences she was the only one she'd ever have, and she wasn't ready to loose her just yet.

* * *

Felix Taggero had never had a loving relationship with his mother, perhaps that's why, as a child, he'd been drawn to the broody blonde that was Peyton Wolf. They had that little something in common. Only Peyton's mother had always stayed, his, his hadn't. After a eighteen month affair, Denise Taggero had divorced his father when Felix was fourteen with what he'd always considered a generous settlement on his father's part. He knew had his extremely successful father wished, he could have gotten away with not giving her a single dime. That was the difference between Michael and his son, Michael was reasonable and above all loyal, so regardless of the fact that his marriage fell apart he saw absolutely no wrong in ending things on good terms despite Denise's wrong doings. She walked out of their lives and Felix and his sister hadn't seen her since. Perhaps he would have been different if she'd stayed in contact, perhaps he wouldn't be so ruthless and bitter. As soon as school had finished he'd joined his father's company where he proceeded to become a top lawyer, using that bitterness to win case after case after case.

'Felix, please say you can fix this' Peyton pled desperately as she stood in his disgustingly swish pent house.

'I can have it sorted' He smiled nonchalantly.

Relief filled her. 'Yeah?'

'Of course babe' He shrugged a shoulder casually, seemingly unphased by the situation. 'It's nothing'

She closed the gap between them, her arms weaving around his neck. 'Thank you, god, you're a life saver. My Dad will be so relieved'

His deep chuckle vibrated against her cheek.

'Seriously Felix, you don't know how much this means to me' She pulled back, looking up at him with gratitude 'If this ever got out it would be such a mess'

'I'll have it sorted' He assured her again.

'Is there anything I can do?'

He eyed her connivingly. 'You want a drink?'

'Er, sure'

He walked over to the black marbled bar. 'There is something you can do'

'Yeah? Seriously, anything'

He smiled. 'It's not a big deal, just one little condition if I do this' He took a sip of one of the whisky's he'd just poured as he met her confused expression.

'Condition?'

He smiled, nodding as his drink warmed the back of his throat. 'You spend the night with me'

Her smile dissolved into one of bafflement. 'What?'

He sat on the arm of the chair and she waited for him to laugh at her and tell her he was joking but she could see that his _condition_ was far from a joke.

'We're friends' She stated. 'We've known each other since we were kids'

He shrugged. 'Oh come on Peyton, you know I've always wanted you'

She wasn't oblivious to his flirting but that's just how he was with everyone.

'You want to risk our friendship?'

'Friends can have sex Peyt'

'I'm with Lucas' She stressed.

'Since when does that mean anything to you' He stood back up and handed her a drink that she didn't accept. 'Besides, you don't have to tell him'

Her eyes had narrowed to a mere squint of disdain. He'd just ruined it. In a split second, he'd ruined their friendship.

They'd met at the tender age of six. His father had helped Mick file a restraining order against a woman who had taken to stalking his every move. Peyton hadn't really understood at the time but from a child's perspective the Taggero's had helped her Daddy and could be trusted. A few years later they'd crossed paths again when, after much begging, her parent's had enrolled her in a private school instead of being home schooled. It wasn't ideal, nor was it permanent but for a few months she was normal and in that first week Felix had hit Thomas Blake in her honour for tugging Peyton's hair. At nine years old he was her knight in shining armour and she'd trusted him to an extent ever since.

He protected her.

Only now, she saw it as something completely different.

He wasn't protective, he was possessive and he wanted just what every other guy wanted.

The worst part was, she wasn't in the least bit surprised; as she'd grown up, she'd grown to see he wasn't quite the knight in shining armour that her nine year old self had painted him to be. A couple of years back she'd been a witness to an unwarranted act of violence in a busy club, where Felix's temper had ended with an innocent bystander being sent through a window, thankfully they were on the ground floor. Unsurprisingly he'd not been charged, the whole incident had seemingly been swept under the carpet, all because of his name.

And yet she'd managed to push all the bad aside, she'd always been able to remember that first day of school, she'd always been able to remember how safe he'd made her feel and that feeling always made her give him the benefit of the doubt, that memory always made her dismiss all the bad incidents.

Not any more though. In the last few moments, she'd recalled all the bad, that safe feeling that she could usually revoke so effortlessly was suddenly inaccessible. Gone forever, leaving her with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her belly.

Somewhere amidst her steely gaze his hand had settled on her back and was making a hasty decent.

She took an abrupt step back.

'No'

His surprise was evident. 'No?'

She scoffed, he really was an arrogant jerk. 'Yes Felix, No' A laugh of utter disbelief escaped her lips. 'You seriously think I'd agree to _that'_

'It's just sex-'

'I'm in a relationship, I know that concept doesn't mean much to you-'

'It doesn't mean much to you either' He reprimanded.

'Maybe it didn't use to but it, it does now. I've changed a lot. I didn't use to believe in everlasting love, I didn't think there was one person out there for me but right now Lucas is everything and I can't even entertain the idea of being with anyone in that way but him' She realised aloud.

He swigged back the straight drink he'd poured for her, his face twisted in aggravation.

'Oh come on, you don't believe in that shit Peyton. Soul mates? This thing you've got with this Lucas guy, it's going to fall apart sooner or later, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even in a year but it will and all you'll have achieved is a broken heart'

She nodded. 'Maybe you're right, but that's a risk I'm willing to take because I feel, I can't even explain how I feel when I'm with him. I'm happy and if it ends sometime down the line, I think I'll be alright with that. I'll deal, because it will have been worth it because I was happy for a little while'

'Peyton' He abruptly stepped forward, grabbing her wrists and she instantly struggled against his hold 'You want me to sort this mess out for you right?'

'I want my _friend_ to do me a favour' She growled.

'And I want my _friend_ to do me a favour' He snapped back. 'You don't give you don't get'

'Well I'm not giving, so I guess you should let me the fuck go and I'll leave'

His fingers temporarily gripped her wrists a little tighter and her heart sped up tenfold but then they were off of her. She didn't give him another look.

She didn't linger in his presence for a moment more.

She no longer held any trust for him and she no longer felt safe.

Her feet carried her across the penthouse as quick as she could go.

The lift took far too long to open and she couldn't get in it quick enough, not until the doors sprung open in the foyer could she breathe and only then did she realise that the tears she'd successfully kept at bay were now racing relentlessly down her flushed cheeks.

* * *

'Shouldn't you be getting changed?' Lucas queried.

'Yeah' Peyton bit her lip, she was laying on the bed on her side, watching him get his suit (courtesy of Brooke Davis) carefully out of the closet.

Her earlier meeting with Felix had left her emotionally drained.

She'd been noticeably quiet and Lucas knew she had her reservations about tonight but he felt like there was something more and had already asked her several times what was wrong, to which she'd shaken her head, assuring him she was fine, just tired.

Her mind wouldn't stop though, primarily overloaded with her mother's situation and what was going to happen.

She knew it was completely illogical, but she always felt seemingly responsible when something like this happened; whenever her mother turned to drugs she felt to blame. She knew it was ridiculous and that it without a doubt stemmed from her childhood, from watching her mother drink and drink to which her presence was no avail. It didn't matter to Ellie Wolf that her seven year old daughter was watching, it didn't make any difference when her seven year old daughter plead her to stop. Yes, Peyton had learnt at a young age that she wasn't enough, that her mother didn't want her, didn't need her, she needed a bottle of vodka. And she carried that around with her to this day, however ridiculous it was logically, it didn't make it go away. It didn't cease the wonderings of whether she could have done something differently, of whether she could have been a better daughter. Their roles were reversed in a sense, Peyton the parent, Ellie the child and it had been that way as long as Peyton could remember. She had that maternal instinct, that need to protect her mother through all the bad, regardless.

Which is perhaps why for the last hour she'd found herself considering Felix's condition, her head pounding fiercely as she contemplated the ramifications of what he required of her.

It wouldn't have been such a complex decision had it not been for the man standing a few feet away. Eight months ago and she wouldn't have even put much thought into it. But everything was different now. Without realising it, she'd given a piece of herself to Lucas Scott, she'd committed herself to just him and the thought of being with someone else turned her stomach for many reasons.

'Luke?'

'Mm?'

She took a deep breath and gingerly watched him, his back to her as he pulled his jeans off.

'Yes?' Lucas urged her to speak.

'What would happen if I had sex with someone else? Would we be over?'

He immediately stopped what he was doing, turning to focus totally on her. 'What?'

'Just theoretically'

He hastily kicked his trousers the rest of the way off. 'You want to have sex with someone else?' He asked incredulously, walking the few paces to where she was laying.

'No' She shook her head. 'No I don't want to'

'I don't understand. I thought we were pretty damn good in that department'

'We are' She assured him with a small smile, fiddling with his open shirt.

'What's with the theoretical questions then crazy girl?''

She sucked on the inside of her cheek. 'My Mum was found with heroin on her last night'

Lucas' eyes widened at this new bit of information.

'Why didn't you tell me?' He cooed, a soothing hand running down her forearm.

She shrugged. Old habits were hard to completely break. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, she was just so use to keeping things like this to herself that the thought never even occurred to her. 'I just, I've been trying to sort it out all day and I know you've got tonight to think about, you're meant to be celebrating'

Her sad mood suddenly made perfect sense.

'That doesn't matter, I could have helped you'

'I'm sorry, I just, I didn't think'

'It's alright. Well, what's going to happen?'

'Felix can sort it out, he can make it all go away, he can make sure she doesn't get put away' She gingerly met his gaze. 'He wants something though, he wants something in return'

Lucas snorted. 'I can't believe you regard that ass as a friend? He's seriously asking you for money?'

'He doesn't want money Luke' She murmured softly. 'He already has enough money. He wants....' She trailed off, looking at him expectantly.

His eyes widened. 'He wants...You?' He finished shortly, his knuckles turned white as he clutched the bed sheet.

'Right, it would just be once'

'Peyton, you're not doing it' He exclaimed at her business like attitude.

'Lucas-'

'There are other lawyers-'

'You don't get it, he's the best of the best, he has contacts everywhere.'

'His family's not the only great firm in New York'

'No but he knows now and I know him, I know if I don't go through him, he'll do his utmost to make sure this hits the media, I know it' She sighed.

'And so what? It hits the media. Peyton it's not your job to protect her, it's meant to work the other way round'

She blinked her tears away. 'So, you, you wouldn't, we'd be over if I do this?'

'You're not doing it' He gripped her arms fiercely. 'You're not'

'It's my decision, you have no right to-'

'Yes, yes I do. I love you and that gives me every right' He exhaled heavily 'I love you Peyton' He repeated softly. 'I do' He cupped her face, his thumbs running over her cheeks. 'You said yourself that you don't want to' He said gently. 'I, I don't want anyone else touching you and I'm sure as hell not going to let anyone blackmail you. Don't you see, you're putting yourself in the same position as before'

Her head shot up.

'It's the same circumstance minus the nude photos'

'Don't bring that up-'

'Why? It is the same scenario, only you're not sixteen, you're twenty four and you have me by your side'

'I don't think I can live with myself if she gets charged and I didn't do anything Luke' Peyton whimpered.

'Cause she's done so much to fucking protect you' He snapped back.

She recoiled.

'I'm sorry' He sighed heavily. 'Peyton I know you feel responsible for everything Ellie does but you're not. Do you really think she could live with herself, if she knew her daughter had given her body to a man to get her out of a crime she's wrongfully committed? She has to face the consequences. Maybe it'll do her good, scare her enough to make her stop. Besides I very much doubt anything will come of it. As unfair as it is, you're father's in the position to buy her out of trouble' He cupped her face and pressed his forehead against hers. She didn't answer. 'Did he touch you?'

She watched his closed eyes, his forehead crumpled in apprehension. 'No'

'You promise me he didn't hurt you, he didn't touch you?'

'Lucas' She ran her gentle fingers over his cheeks, urging him to open his eyes. 'I can look after myself' She gave him a small smile.

'You're not invincible Peyton, he's stronger, he could easily-'

'He'd never do something so stupid, something that _could _put his family name in jeopardy' That, she did believe.

He looked at her uncertainly.

'I swear I'm fine'

'What did you tell him?' His brow was still furrowed, he felt sick that she'd even been entertaining the idea.

'I told him no' She assured him, gripping his hand soothingly. 'Of course I told him no'

He looked at her dubiously. 'Promise me you won't do anything. Promise me you'll stay away from him'

She took a shaky breath. His desperation and anxiety over the whole matter was making her stomach turn. 'I promise'

She realised now that she probably never had any intention of doing it, she could have kept this all from Lucas, she could have lied, she could have secretly done as Felix demanded but she hadn't, she'd walked out of there as quickly as she could, she'd left and come directly to Lucas. She'd confided in Lucas and he'd done exactly as she'd needed him to. He'd talked her out of it. He'd convinced her that not complying wasn't letting her mother down. It was simply doing the right thing.

'Luke'

He looked down at her.

'I'm sorry'

He shook his head, bringing her into his chest.

'I've upset you'

'No...yes, I just don't get why you feel like you have to protect your Mum the way you do'

'She's my Mum- you'd do anything for Karen'

'Yeah and my Mum has always been there for me. I'm not trying to drive you any further away from her than you already are, I just...' He took a calming breath. 'I guess it bothers me that you could just sleep with someone else' He admitted. 'That I mean that little-'

'No you don't' She shook her head. 'I told him no Luke, I couldn't-'

'Peyton you were just asking my permission-'

'No' Her face contorted, her hands covering her eyes. 'I wasn't, I...' She trailed off. 'When he spelt out what he wanted I felt physically ill' She relayed honestly. 'If I'd been able to sleep with him I would've done it, we wouldn't be here having this conversation'

'That makes me feel so much better' He grumbled sarcastically under his breath. 'Peyton' He sighed, pulling her hands away from her face.

'It should Luke. I feel like, I don't think I can ever be with anyone but you like that again' She whispered. If anything, this whole situation had made her realise that and that, for her at least was a big deal and Lucas was well aware. 'And I'm not just saying that, I, I just, I can't. You, you've made sex a big deal for me'

'It should be a big deal' He cupped her face. 'Peyton' He closed his eyes briefly. 'I know, I know we're meant to be taking this slow or, or whatever but sex, sex is ours it's, you, you don't get to decide, you, you're mine' He mumbled incoherently and then he was shaking his head because he could hear himself, he could hear how controlling he sounded. 'I'm sorry I, I didn't mean- I'm not saying, of course you get to decide of course you-'

'No' She corrected. 'You're right. I mean, I know I get to decide but I have' She muttered incoherently, eyes avoiding his as she fiddled with his open shirt. She glanced down at herself, indicating to her body. 'This is yours' She hesitantly met his eyes. 'I want you, just you'

He waited with baited breath, certain she was going to say it. Those three little words.

Only she didn't.

They were on the tip of her tongue only they didn't quite make it past her lips, stuck in the back of her throat. She shuffled onto her knees, slipping a leg over his to straddle his waist. She sat there for a moment, her hand over his heart and he'd never felt closer. It wasn't suggestive or with any hidden motive of going somewhere else.

She kissed him ever so delicately, just lips to lips and then she was gone.

'We're going to be late' She whispered, her small weight leaving him. 'I'm going to get changed'

Suddenly the last thing he wanted to do was go out. She was sad and he just wanted to lay here and be with her.

'We don't have to go'

She glanced over her shoulder. 'And miss getting snapped with you?' She forced a bright smile. 'It's your wrap party, Get changed Lucas Scott'

* * *

'Thank you for doing this' Lucas held her hand as they stood among the loud celebrations. They'd arrived a little late and everyone seemed slightly buzzed and Peyton's trepidation over stepping out in public _together, as a couple,_was the last thing on her mind.

They'd been a few loitering paparazzi, a few pictures taken, a few fingers pointed in their direction but nothing major due to the private venue, just as Lucas had assured her and quite frankly she was too consumed with the happenings of her day to even be concerned.

'There's no where else I'd rather be' She admitted softly.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and her thumb expertly silenced the call.

'Your Dad again?'

He'd called several times having not heard back from her but she was reluctant to tell him that her mother's situation would be hitting the media within the next twenty four hours.

'Yeah'

'You sure you don't want to speak with him? We can get out of here Peyt, honestly, I don't mind'

'I know, I just want to be here with you though' She squeezed his hand.

'Okay. Want a sip? It might help take your mind off things' He offered her his flute of champagne and she appreciatively took a sip.

'Thank you' She planted the elegant glass back in his hand and kissed his cheek. 'I'm just going to go in search of the ladies room, I won't be long'

He watched her float through the swarm of people, inevitably getting stopped every now and again to exchange a few words with people she recognised.

'Peyton's dress is rather short isn't it?' Brooke's voice rasped teasingly in his ear, earning his stare. 'I don't want her wearing that'

'Funny. I'm sorry' He sighed. 'I was a dick. I was just, I was having a tough day yesterday. I'm sorry'

She rolled her eyes. 'Forgiven' She chirped effortlessly. 'Are things better today?' She inquired.

He tilted his head from side to side with uncertainty. 'We're getting there'

'You know, I'm kind of rooting for you two'

'Why thank you Brooke Davis' He smirked. 'And thank you for the beautiful blue dress my girl friend is wearing'

'You're very welcome' She grinned. 'Where's said girlfriend ran off too?'

Lucas looked back to where he'd last seen her. 'She was attempting to find the ladies....' He trailed off. 'Is that Felix Taggero?'

Brooke followed his line of sight to what appeared to be a conversing Peyton and Felix. 'Ergh. Who invited him? I don't know why Peyton's friends with him' Brooke averted her gaze back to Lucas to find him no longer standing beside her. 'Luke Don't be melodramatic!'

Anger fuelled him as he pushed his way through everyone, uncaring to peoples kind queries as to whether he was okay. He wasn't okay. There were too many people in this room and _Felix _had his hand on her arm and was clearly trying to coax her away and Lucas was just too far away.

'You're being really childish, I've had your dad on the phone-'

'Oh and did you tell him what you want? Because I'm sure he'll be right on board when he finds out-' She caught sight of Lucas approaching. 'Let me go'

'Let her go' Lucas enforced, suddenly behind them, he didn't wait for Felix to respond, yanking him away from her.

'Who the hell do you think you are?' Felix snickered.

'Her boyfriend'

Felix laughed. 'You clearly don't know Peyton that well'

'Luke come on' Peyton reached for his hand. 'He's not worth it, it's fine'

'It's not fine'

'I suggest you listen to her Lucas, walk away or I'll have you escorted out of here myself'

'Come on' Peyton urged.

'This is my film, my wrap party- you're the one that needs to leave. You don't have the right to speak to her or touch her. You hear me?'

'I'll do what the fuck I like-'

Something inside of him snapped. Before either Peyton or Felix had time to register what was happening, Lucas' fist was reeling into his face.

'Not when it comes to her you don't' He growled.

'Luke!' She grappled frantically at his shirt sleeve, sliding herself in between the two before another punch could be thrown.

'You're going to wish you didn't do that' Felix smirked, blood trailing from his nose. 'Move Peyton'

'No-'

'Peyton' Lucas protectively moved her behind him, getting her out of the line of fire and then he was quite literally sent flying with Felix's retaliating punch.

Peyton screeched, falling to her knees beside him, unaware of the audience around them.

'Peyton move' Felix demanded, preparing to continue his assault on the fallen man.

'No! Just stop it' She hissed.

'Sir' Two hands grabbed Felix before he took matters into his own hands and moved her himself. 'I'll show you out'

'Me? He hit me first! Do you know who I am?'

'I'm sorry sir, but this is a private function and I've been asked to escort you off the premises' The security guards explained calmly, leading him through the quietened crowd.

'Luke? Luke? Are you okay?' Peyton demanded frantically.

'He's alright blondie' Julian' voice echoed behind her. 'See he's coming round. You always manage to make a scene, don't you Peyt?' He teased only she couldn't find it in her to smile.

This wasn't funny. Nothing about this was funny.

With Julian's help, Lucas sat up, grunting as he rubbed his face. 'God he can hit' He grumbled.

'Yeah well you can talk, I've never seen anyone dare to raise their fist to a Taggero' Julian chuckled, slapping Lucas on the back appreciatively.

Peyton shook her head in disbelief at the smirk that appeared on Lucas' face. 'God, you're like fucking children' She stood upright. 'I'm leaving'

* * *

Lucas watched her fling open her freezer door and retrieve an ice pack. He watched her wrap it in a tea towel before holding it out to him with a heavy sigh. 'Thanks' He eagerly pressed the welcoming coldness against his cheek.

'What's wrong?' He slurred, given his stiff jaw.

'What's wrong?' She sighed. 'Are you kidding me?'

'I really don't get why you're so pissed. I was defending you' He claimed.

'Defending me? I don't need defending Lucas' She exclaimed. 'God. You have no idea how much fun the press are going to have with this' She pinched the bridge of her nose.

'The press? That's what you're concerned about here?'

'I have dealt with the media all my life. You Lucas, you've had to deal with it for all of a couple of hours'

'Who cares what they say, you know the truth'

'That doesn't make it easier. As usual I'm going to be painted as the bad guy' She snapped.

'Felix is a complete ass Peyton, you're my girlfriend-'

'That's what this is about' She shook her head in disbelief. 'You're stupid male ego. Felix is all talk. He'd not ever put his career and family's name in jeopardy-'

'I can't believe you're defending him. He-'

'I'm not defending him. I just didn't need you hitting him in front of a full room of people' She lent on the side board, head in hands.

'Peyton' He dropped the ice pack into the sink and gently touched her shoulder, only to be shrugged off. 'Please. I'm sorry okay? I just-'

'It's fine. Maybe it was a good thing'

He furrowed his brow. He didn't like where this was heading. Her eyes were looking anywhere but at him.

'I mean, maybe it's just fates way of telling us this isn't going to work'

He laughed humorlessly. 'Don't do that'

'It's not your fault, we're just from completely different backgrounds. You can never fully understand me. We're good friends Luke-'

'We're not fucking friends. We've never been friends' He exclaimed. 'I get you Peyton. I know you better than any other fucking person. I know you better than your parents. I know you. I love you' He shouted passionately.

She blinked away her tears. 'You should go'

He stared at her long and hard.

'Fine. You want me to leave. Fine. I'm sick of this. Just know this, I'm the only one that makes you happy. You don't even like modelling' He spat angrily, storming out, the door slamming after him. His head pounded as he paced down the corridor, feet thumping against the floor.

He was furious.

He was mad at her. Mad at himself. Mad at Felix fucking Taggero. Mad at her Mother. Mad at her Father.

He pushed his way through the spinning doors at the building's entrance, pushing them when they didn't spin fast enough. His face was fixed with a heavy frown which only deepened when a camera flashed in his face, followed by a realm of questions. He didn't answer. He forced his way through the small cluster of paparazzi and into the safety of a taxi.

'Where to Mr?'

He took a deep breath, everything was swirling. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs.

His hands clasped at his chest.

'Mr?'

A sharp stabbing pain jarred him.

'Mr?'

* * *

**Now**

'I love you Lucas' She repeated surely.

He smiled. In an instant the whole evening, everything that had happened, every word they'd spoken didn't mean anything because she loved him, because she'd finally said those three little words he needed to hear. She loved him.

'Seriously? You're doing the I love you now? Way to get my unstable heart going crazy' He teased quietly.

Her frantic eyes found the heart monitor.

'I'm kidding sweetheart'

'Don't kid' She berated.

'Sorry. Maybe I should have a heart attack more often though' He smirked.

'That's not funny. That's not funny at all'

She settled her hand over his heart.

'Say it again'

'No'

'Come on' He whined. 'You have no fucking idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that'

'I'm not risking your heart rate sky rocketing'

'I was kidding. My heart's fine now, I'm fine'

'Are you?' She asked tentatively. 'I mean, what, what does it mean, what-'

'I have HCM- it's a heart disease, I have a manageable condition though Peyt' He assured her.

'Then why are you lying in a hospital bed- you had a heart attack Luke' She rubbed her temple, trying not to think about what could have potentially happened tonight, trying her hardest not to consider him having left her. She couldn't loose him. 'Don't keep me in the dark. If there's something I need to know, tell me' She demanded.

'They're running tests. I haven't had an attack quite as severe before' He admitted gently.

'It's my fault' She took an abrupt step back from the bed. 'I've put you under too much stress haven't I? Is it me? Was it tonight, was it the argument?'

'Peyton' Despite his state, he managed to reach her arm, tugging her back to the bed side. 'This has got nothing, absolutely nothing to do with our argument okay? I've had this since I was born-'

'But did I trigger-'

'Nothing'

'I can't loose you' She whispered.

'You're not going to'

'I can't ever be without you'

'Why's that?' He raised his brow, urging her to say those three little words again.

'I love you, god I love you so much Lucas. I'm so in love with you. I don't want to ever not be with you. I don't care about anything, anything but you. I just want to be with you' She rambled. 'I'll do whatever you want. We'll go wherever you want. I didn't mean anything, I didn't mean anything I said earlier'

'Peyton I know' He softly cut her off. 'It's okay'

'No, no it's not. You're so wonderful. You're always right and you're always so forgiving when all I do is fuck you around'

'Listen, everything's fine' He smiled. 'And I'm not always right'

'Mr Scott?' A professional's voice interrupted. They both looked toward the Doctor standing in the doorway.

'I have your results here...'


	18. My Heart Will Go On

**A/N **Sorry for the major delay in getting this out guys. I've just had summer exams etc. Also, is it just me or is anyone else having issues with fanficdotnet? My account has been going psycho for the last couple of weeks which stopped me from posting this a little sooner!

Peyton Wolf had grown up in a privileged world where she pretty much got what she wanted at the snap of her fingers. Needless to say, she didn't harbour much patience, nor did she appreciate being kept in the dark, and right now her composure was faltering under the strain of such circumstances together with the physician's impending silence.

The Doctor eyed her, silently asking if he should continue whilst she was present in the room.

'This is Peyton, she's my girlfriend' Lucas answered in way of consent.

'Right, It's nice to meet you Peyton, I'm Doctor Starling'

The small nod was the best she could offer in response. Her eyes were fixated on the folder in his hands. He'd said he had the results and she was anxious to know what they were.

'So?' Lucas cleared his throat, urging him on.

He was more than accustomed to hospital environments such as this. Growing up he'd garnered this innate ability to read the Doctor's and Nurses and his perceptiveness was more often than not, pretty spot on. It didn't take a genius to understand how it worked. Smiles and jokes equalled good news whilst blank faces masked their pity and equalled bad, bleak revelations.

Lucas new what was coming wasn't good, whereas Peyton's nervous tight grasp on his hand signalled her distress over the looming results.

'You have significant heart valve dysfunction Lucas'

'Yes but I'm on meds to control it. The beta and calcium blockers-'

'Yes' The doctor cut him off gently. He was well aware of his patients medical prescriptions. 'However, your condition has worsened Lucas'

Peyton stood up abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor as she distanced herself from the conversation she didn't want to hear. But she couldn't escape it. The Doctor's words echoed loudly.

The security that she'd been feeling, that had been established, that completely relied on Lucas, was suddenly being threatened. Without him it would be gone once more. She'd be alone once more and suddenly that notion left her struggling to function. She was so suddenly aware of the simple truth that she did in fact _need _this man.

The Doctor was quiet for a moment, allowing them both to digest his news. He was familiarized with giving unwelcoming news and was very much adept in delivering it in the most sensitive of ways. He didn't overwhelm them with any more information, instead he waited to be given a cue to continue.

'Worse?' Lucas eventually questioned, prompting the Doctor to elaborate.

'You have dilated cardiomyopathy'

Lucas understood loud and clear what he was being told. He'd been in and out of hospital enough times since he'd been diagnosed with HCM at the age of eleven. He'd had surgery twice. He knew everything there was to know about his circumstance. He understood all the terms.

Peyton on the other hand had never felt so clueless. 'What does that mean?' She stood near the wall, arms crossed tightly in front of her, fingers fiddling madly with her sleeves.

'Lucas' heart has weakened excessively and isn't pumping blood efficiently'

She swallowed. 'But he's on medication right? Doesn't that fix..' She shook her head, her next words delivered accusingly to Lucas. 'You just said you were okay. Why, why is it worse? I don't understand, why?'

'There's no answer to that I'm afraid' Doctor Starling was quick to answer 'We don't usually expect DCM to occur until much later on in the disease. Lucas' current medication is to reduce the thickened heart muscle and is still working but that won't fix the rapid deterioration that has occurred since his last check up. His heart muscle will ultimately burn out which is terminal and will eventually cause heart failure'

Peyton blinked, her vision fuzzy with the onslaught of tears.

This couldn't be happening.

'What do we do?' Lucas' voice compelled her feet to take her back to the bed, her hand found his, delicately running over his knuckles.

'Well, I'd like to put you on the heart donor waiting list as of now. It can take a while for a suitable match to come up and considering the rapid decline in the last six months I feel this is extremely necessary'

Lucas nodded mutely.

'You'll be closely monitored and you'll be put on a new set of medication'

'Right' He nodded, awaiting the ending positive remark that was sure to come.

'I have every confidence that if we find you a new heart, you'll have a great chance'

He nodded. There was one massive _if_ in that statement.

'I'm going to go straight ahead with putting you on the waiting list and I'll get you a pager. We'll keep you in for observation for the night but then you can go'

'Go? But everything you just said!' Peyton exclaimed, she needed him safe and under the supervision of medical staff, surely they couldn't release him.

'Lucas can have regular check ups and we'll set him up on a new set of meds. But there is no reason as to why he should stay here when he could be in his home environment. There's nothing more we can do until we have a positive, healthy heart transplant'

* * *

Brooke stood in the garish light of the hospital corridor.

It was nearing four am and the last thirteen hours had been a whirlwind of terror, relief and more terror.

'Peyton'

The blonde girl slouched against the flickering vending machine didn't look up from her trance. She was somewhere else completely and it was scaring the brunette. She'd never seen the model so _not _together. If there was one thing Peyton Wolf was exceptionally good at, it was putting on a front that she was okay or if the painfully sweet smile wouldn't come, she'd trade it in to effortlessly play the part of a bitch. She was neither of those persona's right now though. She was never this. She was never this inaccessible. She was a tough one. Only now, as Brooke regarded her, was she completely aware of all the misconceptions that encompassed the star. What she saw before her now was a girl, scared and lost and on the verge of breaking down.

'Come on sweetie' It was her touch that finally urged Peyton back to the land of the living.

Her eyelashes flickered as she blinked. Her immaculately painted face was no more, the mask no longer disguising her. The silvery grey shadow that had donned her lids was smeared messily with her mascara, only drawing attention to the tear stains that marred her cheeks.

'Brooke' She croaked out.

'Come on, I'm going to take you home for a while' Whilst Brooke was most definitely in turmoil over her friend's well being, in the last hour, since hearing of his condition she'd taken her anxiety and manifested into her usual head strong self. She needed to feel as though she could rectify and control the situation but the reality was that she had no such control. But she could take charge, she could ensure that he got the best possible help and care. She could ensure that the girl he loved was okay.

'I'm not leaving' Peyton dismissed.

'Luke's asleep. He's okay-'

'He's not-'

'He's going to be just fine and what he needs right now is for his girlfriend not to make herself ill' Brooke announced firmly.

'I'm okay'

'You're the furthest thing from okay. Come on sweetie, a couple of hours of sleep, a shower and some food will do you good'

Peyton frowned, pensively mulling over Brooke's reasoning.

'I don't want to leave'

'He's exhausted, we can be back before he wakes up and besides as hot as you look in that dress, it's not really hospital attire and you're distracting the Doctor's from saving lives'

Peyton didn't have it in her to smile at Brooke's teasing, instead she reluctantly allowed herself to be led toward the elevators.

She didn't have the strength to argue. She could barely process everything that had occurred in the aftermath of the wrap party. It all seemed so long ago. Nothing seemed to matter now.

The sun was rising as they exited the hospital, the nights slight chill still lingering in the air.

'I didn't even know' Peyton muttered to herself when they were seated in Brooke's car.

'I know it's not something he's kept from you intentionally' Brooke assured her tenderly. Something had happened between them in the last few hours. Before this evening, they'd been on friendly terms. There'd been no more animosity between them for sometime. But now, after being faced with something so life altering and traumatic, they were bonded. Brooke wasn't blind, Peyton's reaction tonight was enough to prove to her that she really was in love with Lucas. 'His Dad has HCM. Karen had him tested when he was eleven because he kept having breathing problems. It's just something he's dealt with for so long that it's not even something he ever considers as a big deal' She confided.

'It is a big deal'

Brooke swallowed back the lump in her throat. She had to stay strong. Lucas needed her to be strong. He needed her to be strong for Peyton because he needed Peyton and she was hell bent on making sure he got what he needed.

'Yes but he'll get a new heart, it'll all work out' Her authoritative rasp killed any fearful arguments Peyton had had on the tip of her tongue. She had to be optimistic too. Everything would turn out fine. It had to.

They were silent for the remaining journey.

Despite being the early hours of the morning, when they neared Peyton's apartment building it was swarmed with paparazzi. Brooke didn't say anything, she just kept on driving. A silent understanding between them. There was no way either of them felt like battling their way through a load of cameras right now. So she took them to her building instead, where she knew they would be safe from prying eyes.

Unlike Peyton, she lived in a high security complex where no one could get in and considering the media's perception that there was some kind of war going on between the fashion designer and model, it was unlikely that Peyton's whereabouts would ever be linked to Brooke Davis.

'This is nice' Peyton murmured as they climbed the red carpeted stairs. 'And very private'

'Yeah, I like it here' Brooke replied. 'Have you thought about moving?'

Peyton rubbed her forehead. She'd never had a stable living environment growing up and she'd always thought that would change as she gained her independence and got her own place. It hadn't though. In fact she'd moved a total of six times in just the last two years because of paparazzi. She'd been in her latest apartment for nearly six months now and was reluctant to leave but in reality she knew it wouldn't be much longer until it got too much and she'd want to vanish.

'I guess I'm going to have to start looking into it soon' She sighed.

It was no surprise to Peyton that Brooke's apartment was beautifully designed, but what she hadn't expected was the mess cluttering the surfaces. Magazines, realms of fabric and sketches littered the living area.

'Yeah, I'm not exactly tidy' Brooke smiled.

Peyton's own lips curled. She liked that it wasn't immaculate. She liked that she clearly didn't invest in a cleaner. She liked the sense of normalcy and she liked that it felt homely.

'I'll get you some water, make yourself at home'

Peyton's eyes skittered round the room, her focus drawn to the tv. She'd deduced something had to have hit the news stand, given the crowd outside her building. She'd not expected Felix to work so fast and was itching to know exactly what chaos was surrounding her name.

It didn't take her long to find an entertainment news channel, nor for her name to crop up.

'_With her mother in custody being faced with charges for possession of drugs and hitting down a man whilst driving under the influence, you would think Peyton Wolf would be preoccupied and not partying. However last night the model was seen at the wrap party for the upcoming film, Ravens, where she didn't fail to make a scene-'_

The woman's irritatingly whiny voice ceased and the picture suddenly turned black.

Peyton turned around to find Brooke with the controls poised in her hand.

'Don't watch it' She said simply.

'They think-'

'It's just a story. It doesn't mean anything'

'No? The whole world thinks I'm this spoilt, malicious brat-'

'Peyton' Brooke scolded softly. 'It doesn't matter what the world thinks'.

'I should call my Dad' She sighed tiredly.

'Yeah. Actually, he called me earlier when he couldn't get through to you' Peyton's head jerked up from her hands. 'Why haven't you told him?'

'Told him what?'

'About Felix' She answered sympathetically. 'Lucas told me everything about what's going on with your Mum and what Felix did yesterday'

Peyton's brow furrowed in surprise. She'd not expected for a moment that Lucas would relay any of her secrets to Brooke. But that was essentially what he'd done. Only she couldn't be mad at him when he was laying in a hospital bed. She didn't feel mad. She trusted him and if he trusted Brooke she supposed she should too.

Brooke's arm found it's way around her.

'You should tell your Dad' She urged gently. 'He thinks you've purposefully exploited your mother to the media'

Peyton pinched the bridge of her nose and she snorted. 'Isn't that what I've done?'

'Seriously? Don't put that on yourself too. I told him-'

'You didn't tell him?'

'About Felix? No. That's up to you to do. I told him you had nothing to do with what's been released to the press but you should tell him Peyton, you should tell him everything. He's your Dad'

Peyton shook her head. 'He can think what he fucking likes'

'Sweetie' Brooke cooed. She kept saying that. She kept using words of endearment. She kept addressing her as though they were close friends and it felt nice. It felt real. 'What Felix did isn't okay'

'I know that. But I also know he has more power than I do'

'You think your Dad would believe him over you?'

She didn't answer. She didn't want to know the answer to that. What she did know was the Felix Fucking Taggero could be pretty damn persuasive.

'How'd everything become such a mess. I can't...' She covered her eyes.

'Honey I know, I know how terrifying this is but it will be okay. It's just news it will be over with soon, you know that and Lucas will be okay'

'You don't know that Brooke'

'No, but we have to believe it' Without hesitance, the brunette brought Peyton into a side hug. 'It's going to be alright'

* * *

She didn't sleep. She couldn't sleep. Brooke's guest room was beautiful and comfortable but she couldn't relax knowing Lucas was in hospital.

She couldn't help but feel like the world was against her.

For the most part she was uncaring to what people thought of her but today it was all too much. It hurt when the only people important to her were ridiculed.

Right now her mother was being publicly humiliated, rightfully so, but none the less Ellie was still her mother. And when her mother's antics hit the media circus her father suffered both emotionally and professionally.

Right now her boyfriend was laying in a hospital bed when he should have been celebrating his career success. Instead, last night's happenings had not surprisingly leaked and instead of being celebrated for his writing he was being negatively received for fighting with the golden boy, Felix Taggero.

And it was all because of her. She was at the centre of it all.

He was out of his hospital gown and in a fresh pair of clothes when Peyton arrived back at the hospital.

He looked so normal, as though the last twenty four hours had all just been some nightmare. Only she wasn't fooled, she could see fear lingering in his eyes and that terrified her more than anything.

'This seems crazy. That you can just walk out' Peyton muttered disbelievingly.

He sent a teasing smile in her direction. 'You'd rather I stay here?' He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

'No, you know that's not what I meant' Peyton carefully tugged the over night carry bag from him, situating it on her own shoulder. 'Nothing strenuous' She reprimanded.

He rolled his eyes 'I'm not an invalid baby, I can carry my own stuff. The Doctor said to carry on as normal'

'He said to take things easy'

'I do take things easy. Peyt, I've handled this since I was a kid okay? I'm always monitoring how much exercise I do, it's just like second nature so you really don't need to worry' He insistently slid his bag from her arms but the frown that met him had him relenting in all of a second. 'Oh for gods sake, you can hold the freaking bag if it makes you feel better' He thrust the weightless item at her and she smiled.

'Thank you' She issued him with a gratifying peck to the lips. 'Is that everything then?'

'Uhuh, I'm free to go'

'You're staying at mine' She told him as they exited his room and walked down the hospital corridor.

'Peyton-'

'No buts okay? I just want to know you're safe'

He didn't argue. He didn't want her to worry and right now her nerves were clearly a jittery mess. He wanted to reassure her that he was okay but his words clearly were doing nothing to appease her. So he didn't argue, he'd stay at hers if that made her happier, besides he wasn't at all bothered by the prospect.

They made it to her apartment unscathed and thankfully the hoard of people were gone too.

From the second he'd risen from his hospital bed she'd not stopped fussing. Literally. She insisted upon carrying his things. Opening doors for him. Holding his arm. He'd even watched amusedly as she'd fluffed his pillows before he sat on her sofa.

'Are you sure you don't want anything? I've got-'

'I don't need to hear the drinks you have in stock _again _Peyt' He laughed openly at her. 'I'm not thirsty'

'Am I being annoying? I'm being annoying right?'

'Just, just a little' Lucas smiled. 'I'm fine. Please stop worrying'

She sucked on her bottom lip.

'Come're' He demanded.

She hurried over to where he was sat, sitting down a safe distance away from him, as though she were afraid physical contact would put his life in further jeopardy.

He effortlessly tugged her small form over to him and tilted her head to him. 'Sweetheart I'm fine' He gently pulled her bottom lip free from her teeth.

She nodded, eyes filled with distinct uncertainty. 'I'm sorry'

He didn't understand her guilt. She'd apologised a hell of a lot, seemingly thinking she was to blame for everything that had happened. She wasn't. Not at all.

'Peyton?'

She tilted her head to the side, looking on expectantly.

'Listen, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that should be saying sorry. My behaviour hasn't been what you deserve'

'Having a heart attack is by no means something that you need to apologise for Lucas' She exclaimed .

He smiled, shaking his head. 'I'm not talking about the heart attack. I'm talking about me being a dick, I'm talking about my behaviour lately, my jealousy, I'm talking about hitting Felix. You're right, I don't understand the media. I don't get how it works and you do. I shouldn't have lost my temper I just, he could have hurt you. What he did Peyton isn't okay, just because he's got a load of money doesn't give him the right to go around blackmailing-'

'Luke' She cut him off. 'I'm glad you hit Felix' She bit her lip and was quick to regret her admission at the little grin that formed on his face.

'You are?' He didn't remember at any which part after the whole incident of her _liking _his actions.

She shrugged. 'No ones ever done anything like that for me before' She mumbled. 'Anyway' Her hand found his chest, lightly pressing over his heart, the steady beat that thumped against her fingers reassuring her that he was okay, well at least for now. 'None of that matters now. Getting you a new heart is what's important. I don't want you to even think about any of that shit. This a calm, drama free zone'

He laughed again and she pouted. 'Sorry, you're just too cute sometimes' He leant in to kiss her and she tilted her face away from his line of fire.

'A calm, relaxing zone with no activities that can cause your heart rate to sky rocket'

He was about to argue his case emphatically but a knock at the door interrupted them.

'Aren't you going to get that?'

'No' She didn't want any disturbances, she wanted peace for Lucas to rest. Another wrap sounded.

'Seriously Peyt- get the door'

She got up with a resounding huff before traipsing to the door to let in the impatient visitor. She wasn't surprised to see the face that greeted her.

'Where in blazing hell have you been?' Mick stormed in.

'Da-'

'You've just switched your phone off, I've been trying to track you down for the last two fucking days- you said you'd call, you said...' He trailed off as he noticed Lucas slouched on the sofa. 'Oh, so that's it. You've been with him, he's more important than your own flesh and blood? Your mother needed you Peyton-'

'Sorry to interrupt Mr Wolf, but it's my fault Peyton's not managed to get back to you'

'I know that. It's everywhere, the scene you caused-'

'Only not for the reasons you think, you see, I had a heart attack, Peyton's been at the hospital'

Mick's stare darted between the pair, his angry eyes softening.

'A...'

'Heart attack' Peyton reiterated tiredly. 'So I'm sure you can understand why I'm not really in the mood right now'

'I'm sorry' Mick muttered dazedly. 'I, how're you?' He addressed Lucas sheepishly.

'I've been better, but I'm alright' Lucas answered truthfully. It hadn't all sunk in yet. He was refusing to think about himself or his circumstance or his life expectancy. Right now he was distracting himself by concentrating on Peyton 'Peyt do you think you could get me that drink now. A glass of water?'

She hurriedly walked away, whether in her eagerness to get away from her father or to meet his needs, Lucas wasn't quite sure.

Mick shifted his weight.

Lucas watched him, anger burning on the surface. The few meetings he'd had with this man, he'd not been able to look past the fact that it was Mick Wolf standing before him, he wasn't able to look past the fact that a rock legend, an idol was standing in the very same room. Only now, his awe and admiration over this musical genius was no longer there. To him, that person was a fictional character. The man before him was merely his girlfriend's father.

'I know she hasn't spoken to you. I know you're not aware of everything that's happened, and to be quite honest I don't think she should have to tell you. You should just trust her and know that she would do anything for her mother because she quite literally would have.' Lucas spoke lowly and Mick was evidently caught off guard by his tone. 'She didn't sell Ellie out' He hissed. 'You think I'm not good enough for her and your right I'm probably not, but I love her. I hit Felix because she _did_ go and see him as you asked. She _did_ try to help Ellie. Only Felix wanted her to sleep with him' He spat out.

Mick's face blanched several shades.

'And if I wasn't in a relationship with her I have no doubt in my mind that she would have done just that' He swallowed thickly. 'Because she would do _anything_ for Ellie, I don't know why but she's made that quite perfectly clear. So why don't you stop yelling at her and try being her father for once'

Mick just stood, wide eyed and staring and Lucas wasn't entirely sure whether he was about to launch at him or have a melt down and then Peyton reappeared, a tall glass of cold water in her hands. After issuing Lucas with the welcomed refreshment she confronted the silence.

'What's going on?' Her eyes darted between her father and Lucas. The silence didn't bode well with her. Her father's uneasy stance and strained expression fuelling her to urge him to speak. 'Dad?'

'Felix sexually assaulted you?'

Her eyes snapped to Lucas. She was mad, mad that he'd divulged _that_ to her father but the instantaneous rage that had bubbled in her stomach at Mick's question was quick to diminish at the look that answered her; Lucas stared right back, unapologetic, strong and encouraging.

'He didn't assault me' She murmured.

'He didn't ask you to sleep with him in return for helping your Mum?'

She shrugged, non-committally. 'That's not assault Dad more of a request that I felt obliged to decline'

He shook his head wildly. 'Peyton'

His stern tone had her reluctantly meeting his wide eyed stare.

'I'm fine, it's fine' She tried to appease the angry crease at his forehead.

'It's not fine! I won't have anyone treat you that way, I won't-'

'Jesus, calm down. It's not like he fucking raped me'

'He could have!' Mick blurted.

Lucas watched her shut down. She didn't like this conversation and he knew why, he knew why because he was thinking exactly the same thing. If Mick was flying off the handle at this, what would be his reaction if he knew what she'd been blackmailed into doing at just sixteen.

'And I sent you there, I asked you to go there' Mick continued to rant. 'God, darling I'm so sorry'

Her nonchalance over the subject was clearly frustrating Mick and Lucas found himself sympathising with the older man for a moment. He, after all, completely understood the anger he was feeling round about now. Only he had to remind himself that had it not been for their lack of parenting whilst she'd been growing up there probably would never have been nude photos of her floating around, nude photos that Mick Wolf was still unaware had ever existed. Both her parents had to have been living under a pretty gigantic rock not to be aware of her wild ways back then and from what he could determine, it was simply their lack of attentiveness that had led her into the loveless rut she'd established over the years. It was her unstable upbringing that had led her to have this misconstrued notion that she wasn't worthy of being in a relationship.

Mick swaddled her in his arms and Lucas watched every muscle in her body tighten.

With every passing day she was falling deeper for Lucas Scott and the further she fell the more she found herself questioning everything she'd come to believe over the years.

She didn't want the fatherly charade. She pulled away not a second later, migrating to the safety of the sofa, to the safety that was Lucas Scott. He immediately pulled her into his side, his hand drifting up and down her forearm and she didn't stiffen or pull away. She sunk into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

'I'm sorry I yelled at you' Mick continued to apologise, taken aback by her sudden detachment. She was a Daddy's girl. She always forgave him. 'God, you should've just told me Peyton. This isn't your fault. You did the right thing'

She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. She wasn't interested in his part-time father act today. 'How's Mum?' She asked, eager to change the subject.

Mick ran his hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. 'She's been better'

'What's going to happen?'

'I'm not sure. I think she'll be let out on bail tomorrow and then there'll be a court date to follow. I'm going to report Felix to the police' He finished brashly.

'Dad' Peyton shook her head. 'No you're not'

'Peyton have you read the papers this morning. He's making Lucas seem like the bad guy in all this, he's told them that he was defending you'

Lucas gripped her hand a little tighter.

'It doesn't matter. He can say what he likes. Look I don't want us talking about this anymore. Luke's just got back from the hospital' She looked at him pleadingly and Mick nodded.

'Okay' He agreed to quit the subject. 'You're right. I, I'll go. Let you both rest. We'll talk about this later' He awkwardly kissed her forehead and patted Lucas' shoulder with a uneasy nod of approval.

She made no effort to stand and see him out.

'You'll call?'

She nodded with a weary smile. She was aware that she was being cold with him, that she was perhaps taking this whole situation out on him and she knew it wasn't his fault but she was starting to see that perhaps things wouldn't have been so screwed up if her father had for a single moment taken a step back from his precious career to see what effects it was having on his family.

At the end of the day, the only thing she could do was sit tight, try to ride out the media attack and invasion of privacy that was heading their way, and be there for her boyfriend.

The apartment door closed and she hugged herself closer to Lucas. She wanted to ask how he felt, not just physically but mentally too. She didn't though because she feared the answer. Instead she closed her eyes and pressed her ear to his chest to listen intently for the thrum of his heart.

She willed it not to give out on her, to carry on beating until a suitable heart could be found.

And then the inevitable questions began to play in her head.

Would he be okay? And if he wasn't, would she be able to go on without him?


	19. Saying Goodbye is Hard to Do

Lucas laid on Peyton's bed, eyes trained on the ceiling.

Today wasn't a good day. This day came and went every year and it never got easier. Sure, he'd gotten better at dealing with it but still his mind was consumed with the events that would forever mar this day for years to come.

Today was the anniversary of Keith Scott's death. Today he would think about the man that had brought him up. Today he would think about the person that had taken that wonderful man from his life.

'Luke?' Her voice was muffled from her spot on the floor.

Her presence alone dulled the ache across his brow. He'd not told her what today was. He had no intention of doing so. She didn't need to know, her just being there with him was enough.

Previous years had had him sitting in a bar, drinking himself into a lonely stupor before finding some girl to take away that loneliness until morning light when he'd come crashing down with an almighty thud.

Peyton wasn't just some girl though and for the first time since his Uncle's death, this day saw him sober and calm.

'I've been thinking' She continued, her words strained.

Lucas craned his neck up off his pillow, smiling as his eyes found her legs, pointing to the ceiling in a shoulder stand.

'Yeah?' He scooted his body around, laying with his chest against the mattress. 'What're you doing down there?' His hands reached for her calves, pulling her legs apart to see her concentrating face.

'Luke!'

'Yes?' He chortled, hands holding firm.

'Let go'

'Mm, really? I quite like you like this'

Her t-shirt had fallen, gathered just below her bra and he gleefully watched her toned stomach rapidly rise and fall. She definitely took his mind off other things.

'Just because you're fragile doesn't mean you have to be a dickhead!' She attempted to swat his grabbing hands away.

'I'm not fragile' He argued, pulling her nearer to demonstrate that simple fact.

She shrieked as he kissed the spot on her calf where a bullet had once penetrated her skin, the mere thought of her life being put in danger made him shudder involuntarily.

She was lucky. She was here. Had the gun been aimed differently, had she not been treated efficiently, she may have lost her life that day and he may never have met her.

'What were you thinking?' He urged.

'Oh yeah' She held her hands out and he effortlessly tugged her the rest of the way up onto the bed and into the safety of his arms. 'I was thinking, why don't we go back to Tree Hill again?'

'Home?'

'Uhuh' She rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him nonchalantly.

His brow furrowed in thought. He wasn't naive. He could see her hidden motive.

She'd not so subtly been trying to make him take it easy for the last four days, without much success. By getting him to Tree Hill, she hoped she'd have a better chance of getting him to relax. It was as if he was completely blocking the heart attack he'd suffered just days ago out.

He didn't like to be fussed over, he didn't like to be a burden and he didn't like feeling incompetent.

He hadn't allowed himself to contemplate the seriousness of his condition. He didn't want to think about it because that would make the situation real and he wasn't ready for it to be real.

He was happy. For the first time in a long time he was happy.

His career was steadily on the up, his family were well and he was in love. Peyton had finally declared her feelings to him and he felt invisible.

He wasn't ready for that all to be snatched from beneath his feet.

He needed more time.

'We can't do that' He finally responded, his hand roaming through her tangled hair. 'You've got work and I've got a few meetings coming up and before you know it the premiere will be here. It makes no sense' He smiled. 'Maybe later on in the year okay?'

'Luke' She whined. 'Please. Work doesn't matter. I'm financially secure, I can support you too. Brooke said I could take as much time as I want' She was still a little bewildered by that. The brunette had spoken to every day since the hospital and insisted she forget about work for a while, assuring her she'd still have a job when she ventured back. She wasn't use to anybody doing anything for her out of pure kindness and that's exactly what Brooke was and had been doing for the last few days even if it was a hassle to her.

Lucas shook his head, disgruntled. 'I don't need to go home and you don't need to take time off of work to babysit me. I'm-'

'Fine, yeah, I know. So you keep saying' She sat up, sitting back on her legs. 'Me taking time off isn't so I can babysit ypu. It's not just about you. I, I don't want to be seen when there's currently a media circus surrounding my name. I'd like to be some place where I'm just Peyton not Peyton Wolf the fucked up model with the fucked up mother and the fucked up father' She smiled at him. 'Please?'

He closed his eyes to avoid that pleading smile. 'I really don't want to go home right now Peyt'

'Why?'

Despite his love for his home town, he didn't want to be in Tree Hill around this time of year. He didn't want to recall the things that had happened there. He wanted to be as far away as possible. He wanted to be away from everything that proposed as a potential reminder of his dear Uncle's murder.

He opened his mouth, on the brink of blurting his true thoughts to her but then the door buzzed.

She huffed her annoyance at the interruption. 'We're not finished here' She waggled her finger at him as she sprung from the bed, hurrying from the room, eager to get rid of whoever was out there. Only the visitor wasn't anyone Peyton had anticipated. It wasn't some delivery guy or her so called Father or Brooke even.

Peyton's eyes widened considerably.

'Hello' The woman greeted, her gentle smile completely contradicting the anxiety in her eyes.

Peyton continued to stare, unblinking in her surprise.

'I'm Lucas' mother?' Karen eventually worded, trying to bring the stunned blonde from her stupor. 'We met-'

'I'm sorry' Peyton murmured. 'I'm sorry, I know who you are, I remember- I was, I'm just surprised' She rambled. 'Come in' She rushed backward, pulling the door wide.

'I hope you don't mind me coming here. Brooke said that Lucas was staying with you? She gave me your address'

'I don't mind' Peyton smiled at the woman over her shoulder. 'And Lucas is here'

'He didn't ring to tell me. I don't think he had any intention of telling me. Brooke rung me'

Peyton stopped walking. She didn't know if Karen was insinuating that she, herself should have rung to inform her of Lucas' condition. 'I, I didn't know he hadn't- I'm sorry' It was the truth and had quite frankly been the last thing on her mind, she just assumed his mother would've been notified by someone.

'How is he?' Karen mustered, her words choked.

'He's, he's Lucas. He's giving the offset that he's okay but I, I think he's worried' She honestly disclosed how she felt.

'Mum?' Lucas appeared from the hall, Karen's voice enticing him from Peyton's bed.

'Darling' Her head shot towards her son and then she was hurrying over to him and taking him in her arms.

'What're you doing here?' He muttered into her embrace.

'Brooke called me'

His face went from happily surprised to angry in seconds. Brooke was meant to be his friend. She wasn't meant to go behind his back.

'She had no right to do that' He gently pulled out of her arms.

'She had every right. She's one of your best friends and she has your best interests at heart' Karen scorned. 'Were you just never going to tell me?'

'Don't look at me like that Mum. I didn't want you to worry. I don't want you thinking about any of this shit right now. I know this time of year is hard enough as it is'

'Worry? Worry doesn't even slightly describe what I've been feeling Lucas. I'm your mother, I deserve to know what's going on in your life. I deserve to know about your health'

He closed his eyes in exasperation. 'This is exactly why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd get hysterical'

'Lucas I'm your Mother, I just need you to be okay'

'I am okay. I'm fine in fact. You flying out here is crazy, the phone would've sufficed Mum. You should be with Lily today'

'I needed to see you' She shook her head, directing him over to the chairs. 'I needed to see with my own two eyes how you really are, especially on a day like today'

Lucas reluctantly sat down. 'Well here I am, you've seen' He grumbled.

'You look pale'

'Mum-'

'Did the doctor's tell you how long they expect we'll have to wait before a suitable heart-'

'There's no telling, it could be today or in a week or months'

She nodded her head and then forced an optimistic smile. 'It will be okay'

'I know' He huffed.

'Won't you come back to Tree Hill with me?'

He wasn't surprised by her plea. 'Not right now, I will when Raven's premiere is out of the way' He told her honestly. His home town had never been less appealing and he was sure he wouldn't feel comfortable with his family and friend's fussing. His mother on her own was scary enough without her tribe of followers.

He lay back into Peyton's soft pillows and Karen sat beside him, her hand soothing over his head. He couldn't say her touch or presence alone wasn't relaxing, because it was. He felt like he was five years old again and his Mother could fix anything.

As much as he didn't like being tended to, he knew Karen's attentiveness was her way of helping herself through this news. She had to feel as though she were helping because this was something out of any of their control and that was the scariest thing. It was all just a great big waiting game.

He sneaked a glance at Peyton. She was hovering awkwardly by her beloved piano as though she were intruding.

'I'll stay here then' Karen's words garnered his attention once more.

'No you won't'

'You're welcome to' Peyton assured her, dismissing Lucas' objection.

'No you're not' His fingers wrapped around the ones at his head and pulled them down. 'Seriously. I'm not five years old. I'm not a little boy any more and you're not staying here. You're actual five year old is back home and she does need her mother'

'Haley is fine taking care of her for a while, besides she loves being with Jamie'

'Mum you should be with Lily today'

'Keith's gone Lucas. I've come to peace with that. He'd want me to be with you right now'

Lucas huffed a frustrated sigh before rising to his feet. 'Do you want tea or coffee?'

'I'll do it' Peyton chimed but he gave her a look that said he needed to get some space and she instantly backed down.

'Tea would be nice'

He nodded, leaving the pair of them alone.

Later he regretted leaving the room for when he returned they seemed to have joined forces.

He stood in the doorway and watched as Peyton tried to console his Mother. Whilst he was pleased they appeared to be getting on, he wasn't so thrilled that the topic of conversation was no doubt his health.

Karen went on to tell her of what today was. Although disheartened that Lucas hadn't divulged such information to her already, he later convinced her that her being with him had been enough to help him through the day, that he hadn't needed to tell her because her presence alone was simply enough.

Karen had also been one to tell her emphatically that she was glad he had someone like _her _with him and that they'd found one another because she'd never seen him sober on this day. She'd told her of the previous years and she'd relayed how lost he'd been, she admitted her worries of the state she'd been fearing to find him in and that she was ever so thankful for whatever it was Peyton was magically doing for her son.

Peyton had assured her most assertively that it was she that was the lucky one to have him.

He didn't know why but her admission to his mother scared him. It scared him because he was suddenly faced with the realisation that if anything did in fact happen to him, both these woman would loose a son and a boyfriend.

The next few days merged into one, consisting of the same dull events.

He slept. He woke. He ate.

And together, the duo fussed over his every move.

He felt like a child that wasn't to be left unsupervised. If they weren't insisting he should have a rest they were thinking up none strenuous tasks he could do.

Cross words. Puzzles. Watching films and reading were all acceptable activities. Whereas taking a run and cooking the dinner were all out of the question.

Karen stayed for several days before Lucas persuaded her otherwise. She reluctantly left the next weekend with the promise of returning in the coming weeks.

However her departure did not give him the relief he so desperately sort. He'd anticipated returning to a state of mind where he could block out the possible ramifications of his worsened heart condition but he'd not been so lucky in continuing to pretend all was fine.

It was strange to know that any given moment his heart could possibly give out on him, that his life was essentially a ticking time bomb. He was certain that had this happened just a couple of years prior he wouldn't have cared. He'd been lost but now, now he had everything to live for. He had dreams, he realised that now. He wanted to get married. He wanted children. He wanted to grow old. He wanted to go back and live each day as his last.

It was the the early hours of the morning and Lucas stood in the hallway of Peyton's apartment, loitering.

He didn't know what he was waiting for. He was willing up the nerve to just go already but his legs wouldn't cooperate.

This was the single most difficult thing he ever had to do, of that he was sure but he had to do it, over the last few days he'd come to that almighty realisation.

'What're you doing?'

Her voice made him jump and his heart sunk.

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her belly as she looked at him, as she took in his attire and the luggage at his feet.

'I'm going to go back to mine I think' He scratched the back of his head. She could tell by the way he was diverting his eyes that he'd not wanted to be caught in his escape. He was sneaking out.

'You were going to just leave without saying goodbye?' She accused, arms crossed across her chest.

'No!'

Her eyes narrowed.

'Well yeah, but you were asleep'

'You could've woke me' She sighed. 'If you want to stay at yours we will. You only had to say. I'll go get a bag of my stuff together'

'Peyton' He cut her off before she could go and do just that. He could barely look at her. She was wearing one of his t-shirts and not much else. She'd just risen from bed and her hair was strewn back in a messy bun and her eyes were still filled with sleep. She looked pale and ill and Lucas was sure he was the reasoning behind that. 'I'm, I, I thought I'd just go by myself actually' He hastily told her.

Her face crumpled but she was quick to hide it, forcing a smile. 'Right, right' She nodded.

Lucas sighed.

Her indifference didn't last long. She stalked across the room, her hands squeezing together. 'I'm sorry that I've been smothering you. I'm just worried and I know you keep telling me everything's alright but your Mum's concerns have rubbed off on me this week'

He didn't respond to her rambling. His heart sunk with the weight of the lie he had to tell.

He struggled to form the words that would hurt her but he knew he had to because hurting her was better than ultimately breaking her.

He loved her.

Until now he was certain he'd never really experienced love before. He'd thought he had, but it was only now that he could see that his previous relationships hadn't been real. Sure he'd loved before but he'd not been in love.

What he and Peyton had was real. He was in love. This type of love was nonsensical, it was powerful and violent and uncontrollable. She came first now.

He couldn't be selfish, it wasn't in his nature. He was selfless. For her, he would do anything. For her, he had to lie.

'Peyton I, I'm sorry but...' He paused, swallowing thickly and trying desperately to rehydrate his mouth.

His mother's anxiety and concerns had rubbed off on him too. His situation had finally sunk in. The adrenaline that he'd been running on for the first forty eight hours since his heart attack had worn off. Both Karen and Peyton's presence had indeed worked as a distraction but they couldn't distract him twenty four hours a day. He'd still had a painful amount of time to contemplate his circumstance, to contemplate his future, to contemplate how his future would affect the people he loved.

He lived. He died. It all relied on that one outcome.

He didn't have the time to wait for the answer though.

Considering Peyton's behaviour this week he was confident that she felt just as he did about her.

He couldn't stand the thought of her falling apart if he died.

He'd imagined himself in her shoes. Imagined she were the one with the life threatening heart condition. Imagined she were the one that could die. Imagined how he'd deal with her death.

He wouldn't. That was the almighty conclusion he'd come to. The thought of a single hair on her beautiful head ever being harmed filled him with grief.

He didn't want her to deal with that. He didn't want to put her through that. He couldn't put her through that.

'This isn't working'

'What isn't?' Her eyes narrowed. She knew all too well what he was implying.

'Us' He looked at her directly, willing her to make this easy. The knot in his stomach twisted uncomfortably, the lump in his throat rising as he watched her blank face.

It had taken so much for her to let him in. He knew that all too well and it pained him to reinforce her belief that no one cared because in actual fact it was because he cared so much that he was doing this.

He'd lost his uncle. He'd been dealing with his uncle's death for a long time. He knew what it was like to loose someone you loved. He knew of the pain and anger. The anniversary of Keith's death had only reinforced all those feelings. He couldn't do that to her.

In his mind it was better to end this now and to make her believe that he didn't want her because he couldn't bare to make her stick by him when at any given moment his life could be taken from him and her. He wouldn't leave her as a broken existence of herself because that's what his death would surely do to her. By walking away he was telling her that what they had wasn't real.

She would recover. She would be stronger. She would find someone better than himself.

'Are you joking?' She muttered.

'It's just not working Peyt'

She failed to mask the pain.

She was a good actress but Lucas Scott had worn her down and she'd trusted him and in the moment she wasn't able to hide her vulnerability from him.

'But you...you love me' Her voice was monotone and her stiff shoulders hunched.

'I did'

Her eyes glazed over with tears that she was unable to hide. 'You love me' She growled back angrily.

He bent to retrieve his bag, eager for this conversation to be well and truly over with.

'Baby-'

'Don't call me fucking baby, I'm not your baby' She lividly brushed away the tears that had settled on her cheeks.

'I'm going to go'

'No! No. What did I do? I'm sorry. Tell me what I did Luke-'

'It's not you okay-'

'It's not you, it's me? You're really going to fucking pull that line on me?'

'Please stop screaming Peyt'

'I love you'

'No, no you don't. You like the idea of me. Trust me, you were right all along. We're from different worlds. We can't coexist together. We want different things. I want a quiet, simple life. You thrive on attention'

'That's not true' She gripped a hold of his arms. 'I know what you're doing Lucas. I know what you're fucking doing. Don't push me away. You said yourself you're going to be okay. You don't need to protect me. You're going to be okay'

'This isn't to do with my heart alright?' He edged toward the door.

'Like hell it's not' She propelled herself ahead of him, blocking the exit. 'Lucas' She exhaled his name in a desperate plea.

'You're going to be fine'

She shook her head bewilderedly. 'You're not doing this'

'It's best this way'

Her fiery eyes widened. 'No. You made me trust you. You've spent the entire Summer insisting we have something, insisting you wanted me. I didn't fucking want this. I didn't want any of it. You made me believe you. You said you loved me. You fucking love me' She babbled madly.

He couldn't look at her. She was right. He'd worn her down and now he was doing just what she'd expected of him all along.

'You made me love you' Her voice hissed under the strain of the threatening sobs that were trapped in the back of her throat.

She'd only just got her feelings off her chest. She'd only just been able to tell him and now he was pulling the rug from beneath her feet.

'I'm sorry. You'll get over this though Peyton, you'll meet someone better' He made to side step round her but she tugged his bag from his shoulder in one swift movement, grinding him to a halt.

Her hands cupped his face roughly. 'Stop it' She insisted. She wasn't naive, she could see why he was doing this, she was touched even, that he was prepared to sacrifice what he wanted in order to save her from heartache. But this was heartache. This was heartache like she'd never known. The prospect of him turning his back on her, had her quite literally trembling with anger. She couldn't fathom his logic and then all rational thought left her mind and she was hit with the possibility that perhaps he just didn't want her. That he'd had enough like she'd predicted all along. That he'd grown tired of her.

She didn't want that to be true. She didn't want to be some fool that had let some guy into her heart just so she could be used. She wouldn't be used.

He'd not tried to move away. His heart thrummed in his chest and then she kissed him hard in a desperate attempt to show him how she felt and he returned it without any hesitation.

His hands grappled for her hips, slamming her back against the front door.

He couldn't help himself. He needed to have this. He needed this one last time. He needed to memorise every little detail. He needed a goodbye.

She'd not allowed him to touch her like this for the last five days. Her mind had been on nothing else but his health and she'd been completely against any activity that could have his heart rate changing from it's steady beat.

Right now, gone was his illness. She was running on pure desperation. She wanted to be anything and everything he wanted. She wanted to be his.

His hands scoped their way up her familiar body. She arched into him and his palms slid behind her thighs, pulling her legs up around him.

They were frantic and desperate in their need.

He stumbled across the apartment and dropped her onto one of her plush leather sofas, his body covering hers not even a second later. A shaky breath left her as his weight settled upon her and her fingers wove into his hair.

There was nothing gentle about their touches.

She wanted to get inside his head. She wanted to be so close to him that they were physically one. She wanted to share her every thought and she wanted him to understand, to believe her when she said she loved him.

She needed him to tell her he loved her too. Suddenly every previous time he'd declared his love was irrelevant. She needed to hear it again.

The relief she'd experienced since telling him of her feelings for the first time was gone. She needed to tell him again and again and again. She needed to make him see that he couldn't leave her.

'I love you'

He wished she hadn't said it. Those three little words that hummed from her mouth had him stiffening from head to toe. Those three little words relayed to him that this wasn't goodbye to her. He couldn't have sex with her and then leave. He couldn't be so cruel.

'No...' He exhaled, hands covering her fingers that were at his belt. 'I can't'

He shook his head as he looked at her without blinking.

He didn't say it back.

He watched the fight leave her.

She looked at him and he watched her tongue push against the roof of her mouth as she struggled not to break down before him and then green was gone. She closed her eyes tight, breathing out her own shaky breath. She couldn't, wouldn't open them again to him.

His lips pressed to her forehead and she just wanted him gone. She never wanted to be touched by his hands again. Ever again.

He uttered a choked 'Goodbye' and she'd never liked that single departing word less. It signified their parting. It was the end.

His body left hers and she suddenly felt empty. She wanted to scream for him to come back, to not leave.

But he hadn't said it back. He hadn't said those three little words.

His presence disappeared and a cold chill filled the room.

He heard her choked sobs sound from the moment he closed the apartment door behind him and he wanted so very much to run back inside and assure her that he didn't mean a word of anything he'd just said.

But he didn't.

He forced his legs to carry him away from her cries and away from her.

He'd been told for the most part of his life that his heart was broken. It didn't work properly, it failed to pump the blood sufficiently around his body. But now he realised what it was to have a broken heart, for his was well and truly shattered.


	20. Just Peyton

**A/N** Okay, first off I can't apologise enough for the time that has passed between this chapter and the last. Basically life has just got in the way which inevitably happens from time to time! I appreciate all your kind words and messages. I'm on Christmas break at the minute so I have a bit of time but I don't want to make any promises to you guys that I can't keep, but I'm going to try my best. Anyhow, enjoy the holidays all and here is the next chapter...

Her eyes were sore, eyelashes stuck together with tears despite her water ducts having long since stopped working.

She yawned, her breath and limbs shaky with the exertion of sobs that had racked her body persistently on and off for the duration of the last forty eight hours.

Her body had given up. Exhaustion had finally rendered her detached and stony eyed.

She couldn't move, eat or sleep.

She'd always thought it ridiculous when girls crawled into bed after their relationships failed, falling into a depression. Men weren't worth it. But right now, she wasn't in control. Her body was a complete dysfunctional mess. She hated that loss of control, she was helpless to it all.

'Luke? Peyton?' Brooke Davis' distinctive voice filtered through her apartment.

She didn't have the strength to answer. She stayed sitting beneath her grand piano. She was safe there, safe from the outside world, safe from men, safe from Lucas Scott, safe from love.

'There you are' Brooke's voice was light and carefree as she spotted the blonde's gangly legs, giving away her hiding spot. 'What're you doing down there?' Brooke crouched, squatting on the ground to get a better look. 'Honey?' Her amused, smiling face was quick to transform into one of concern. 'What's happened?' She eyed the cell phone laying on the floor, flashing with several missed calls. Missed calls from Brooke. 'Why haven't you been answering your phone?' Brooke brushed Peyton's hair back from her face, getting a proper look at the model's features.

Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, her cheeks blotchy with tears. She was a mess.

'Peyton what's happened?' Brooke demanded. 'Where's Luke?' Concern and fear had her voice rising.

'He' Peyton took a sharp breath and bit down on her bottom lip, blinking back a sob. 'He's...'

'He's what?' Brooke's mind was quick to filter through all the worst case scenarios.

'He's left me'

'Lucas?'

'He-He doesn't want me'

Brooke crawled beneath the piano, sitting beside the shaking girl. 'He loves you sweetie. Did you have an argument?'

'No, he just, he doesn't fucking want me' Peyton snapped with finality.

Befuddlement left her speechless. Instead, Brooke's arms naturally found their way around the blonde, her eyes wide and startled.

'He...he doesn't love me Brooke'

* * *

The curtains were drawn, darkness encasing the entire apartment.

It didn't feel right. She was propelled back to a time when he'd been in a bad way. A time when he'd secluded himself from the outside world, a time when his loved ones had struggled to see him ever standing on his own two feet again.

The half empty bottle of whisky sitting on the coffee table didn't bode well.

Brooke shuffled toward the windows with the strong desire to let some light and air into the muggy space.

He was sprawled across the sofa and had it not been for the heavy breaths escaping his parted lips, she would've worried for his life.

His face scrunched up as she let daylight flood into the room.

'Get up' She ripped the blanket from his over heated body, simultaneously retrieving the bottle of whisky from the table.

'Go way' He groaned hoarsely, curling into the back cushions, grimacing as her heels sounded against the hardwood floor. Grimacing as he listened to the remaining whisky being poured down the kitchen drain. Grimacing as glass clattered into the bin.

'I said get up Lucas Scott' She growled. She was apparently back, her voice vibrating loudly in his ears.

'Go away'

'Like hell am I going away' Of course she wasn't.

He rolled onto his back, one eye opening.

She glowered at him. 'What is wrong with you? Less than fourteen days ago you were in hospital. Are you asking for a fucking death sentence?'

'It's a couple of drinks' His gruff voice grumbled.

She snorted in disbelief.

'Please go away'

'Politeness isn't going to get me to comply Luke'

Eye one closed again, determined to ignore the stubborn brunette.

Brooke Davis however, was not one to be ignored. 'You know I never thought I'd be having this conversation with you Lucas. I always thought it would be _her'_

Both eye one and two opened with minimum effort to form his trademark squint, his mood going from disgruntled to outright mad. 'Look, I'm not in the fucking mood Brooke'

'I don't care. What the hell is wrong with you?' She exclaimed lividly. 'You're in love with her'

'No. No I'm really not' He spat, reluctantly shifting upright, flinching with the effort. He wasn't happy with the subject at hand.

'What did she do? Did she do something?' Brooke pleaded, desperate to understand what brought all of this about.

'No. Look I just, I can't handle her world alright. I don't want to deal with it'

'You need the people that love you around you right now Luke. You can't push everyone who fucking cares away' Her voice rose a few octaves.

He shook his head despondently, standing from the sofa and slowly navigating himself across the room, eager to get away from her whining. 'I'm not. Can you just take it down a notch, I can't handle barbie on crack right now' Her eyes narrowed. 'Besides I thought you'd be happy, you weren't exactly thrilled at the prospect of me being in a relationship with Peyton Wolf to start with'

'You're right. I wasn't. Not initially but you were the one that told me not to judge her before I knew her and you were right. I was so worried that she was going to end up hurting you but now I realise that it was never Peyton who I had to worry about it's you. She's a complete mess Lucas. A complete mess'

He grimaced, pressing his forehead into one of the wooden shelves that held his books.

'And that's your fault. She's a mess because of you -'

He spun around quite suddenly. 'Look I don't expect you to understand. It's just over so you can stop with the lecture' He shouted madly. He didn't need to hear about what a mess she was in. He didn't want to know.

'It's just over?'

'Over' He clarified.

'Well it's not for her. You know what, why don't you fucking call me when you grow some balls and can admit what this is. When you can admit that this is all because you're scared. You're scared of what's going to happen and that's completely fine, but it's not fine that you're pushing away the one good fucking thing that's ever happened to you. You were the best thing that's happened to her too Luke. I didn't believe in her but you did and you wore her down, you opened her up and she let you in and now you've cut her open and just left her to bleed. You may as well of stabbed her in the fucking back'

He swallowed thickly, his dark depression glassing over his usually vibrant blue eyes as she stormed toward the exit.

'Brooke'

She paused, hand poised over the door knob.

'Take care of her'

'She's going to spiral Lucas. She's defenceless to it. You've seen it in her' She looked at him over her shoulder. 'That girl, that girl that's painted in the magazines, she's just a lost little girl. All alone. She's always been exposed. People have always taken from her. Accept you Luke. You gave, you gave her strength and love and security but now, now you're just like everyone else. You've taken.' She enlightened him angrily. She'd never seen Peyton Wolf nor understood the tortured model more. 'She's going to spiral Luke, and there's nothing me or anybody else can do about it. You're the only one' She opened the door.

'You're wrong' He contended. 'You've given too Brooke. You've given her friendship. Be her friend'

'Why're you doing this?' She whispered. 'You love her'

'That's why' He answered simply. 'There's a... there's a good chance I could die-'

'Don't say that y-'

'You need to hear it. There's no knowing if a suitable heart will appear and even if one does, my body could reject it' He bluntly told her. 'You're right. I know I've hurt her. I know right now how much I'm hurting her because I feel it too but have you ever watched someone you love die before your very eyes Brooke? Have you?'

She'd been in the hospital when her father had died but to this day she held not a morsel of affection for the man that was her reason for existence. No, she hadn't watched anyone she loved die.

'I was in Keith's room when his eyes closed and never opened again. I was there when my Mum fell to pieces and I know had it not been for Lily, had Keith not been brought back to us in the form of their child, she wouldn't have carried on' He pinched the bridge of his nose. 'I can't do that to Peyton. I can't be so selfish as to put her through all that. If she thinks I don't love her, she'll move on. Sure she's going to be a right fucking bitch for the next few weeks' His lips formed a waned smile. 'But she'll move on, because you're going to be there and you're going to look after her'

She blinked. 'I can't loose you Luke'

'Sure you can' He walked over to her, gently cupping her face in his hands. 'Sweetheart you're the strongest person I know' He kissed her forehead and opened the door for her. 'Get out of here'

'I don't like this' She mumbled as she edged over the threshold. 'Beside's you're not going to fucking die Luke. No more drinking or I'll kill you myself' Her usual haughty tone returned. 'And you're not going to be able to get rid of me'

'Just look after her. She needs you more than me right now. Go'

Frowning, she turned and left.

* * *

With Lucas' plead fresh in her mind, Brooke Davis found herself back at the front door of Peyton Wolf. Whilst she didn't like what her dearest friend was doing, nor could she possibly relate to what he was going through, she understood just the same. Love made you do silly things and despite not agreeing with his, she couldn't not do as he asked. He'd asked her to look after Peyton and she'd do it. Not only because he'd asked her to, but because she truly wanted to. He was right. Peyton Wolf had become her friend and she couldn't just disappear back to her own home when Peyton was suffering.

'Peyton?' She pushed against the door, not surprised to find it unlocked, it seemed that the model wasn't one to lock doors. 'Peyt?' She called. The apartment hadn't changed much since she'd left the blonde curled up on the sofa that afternoon. It was still a mess in comparison with it's usual immaculate appearance. Books and pillows were strewn across the floor, thrown in what Brooke could only assume was a frantic rage.

She warily peered around the corner, uncertain of what mood her temperamental friend would be in. But Peyton was no longer curled up on the leather seating as Brooke had expected. Instead, in her place was a man.

Brooke's stance changed completely, she straightened upright, her arms crossing in front of her and her eyes narrowed.

'Hey' The guy nodded with a confident smile.

'...hey?' Brooke eyed the man up. He was probably around the same age, give or take a few years. He was dressed causally but Brooke was quick to categorise him from his attire alone. She knew her designers and they weren't no walmart jeans. He had money, not that, that was a surprise to the brunette, any acquaintance of Peyton had money. 'Who're you?'

The man stood up, holding his hand out 'I'm sorry, I'm Si'

'Si?' She ignored the offered hand, peering at it like she had a bad taste in her mouth. She did have a bad taste in her mouth and in her stomach come to think of it. She didn't like this man. She didn't like him at all.

'As in Simon'

'Well _Si'_ Her hands moved to her hips. 'Are you just going to stand there or are you going to tell me what you're doing here?'

'Er' He nervously shifted. His smile gone. 'Peyton called. Invited me over. We use to see each other from time to time'

Brooke's eyes fluttered in despair. 'Where is she?'

'Er, in the bathroom'

'Right _Si_, as lovely as it was to meet you, it's time for you to go'

'What?' His brow furrowed, clearly not use to such rudeness.

'Byesybye' She grabbed a hold of his arm, grimacing as he stumbled. He was high. That much she knew and she was repulsed by the mere thought and everything that he represented.

'But'

'No buts _Si_.' She opened the door and shoved him through. 'Ta ta now' She waved with a perfectly insincere smile before slamming the door in his face and turning the lock.

'Brooke' The brunette spun around. 'What're you doing here?'

Peyton stood not a metre away and this was not the same frail and vulnerable Peyton she'd left sleeping on that couch. This girl was cold and indifferent. This was the Peyton Wolf she'd met in her office and she could remember distinctly not liking that Peyton one tiny little bit.

'What am I doing? What're you doing here?' Brooke wavered her hand, past the point of anger.

'Er, I live here?'

'Who the hell was that?'

Peyton's eyes skittered around the apartment, suddenly noting the missing man. 'Where's-'

'_Si?_ Si had to go'

Peyton's brow furrowed. 'Brooke'

'You think I'm gonna let you start hanging out with your junkie pals. Uh uh my friend. You're ties to the underworld have been cut'

Peyton laughed. 'I'm not my mother Brooke. I can get high and not be addicted to the shit'

'You know that's not true, the first time sure, but I know what kind of head space you're in right now and it's not a good one. Peyton don't go down that path. Don't fuck up everything. As much as I hate to admit it I, I...you're my friend. I don't want to go psycho boss on you but I will if you make me. You've done nothing but good for clothes over bros- don't fuck it up and don't you dare start fucking around, I won't have a whore as the face of my company'

Peyton chortled. 'That boat sailed a long time a go Miss B Davis. This slut has been in business a hell of a lot longer than you'

She skulked around the coffee table.

'Peyton-'

'What?' She snapped.

Brooke jumped in surprise but as soon as the growl had left Peyton's rose bud lips, she was shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose in regret.

'Brooke, god, I, I'm grateful that you care but I can't, I can't lay around any longer, feeling like I, I can't...' She trailed off.

'It's only been two days sweetie'

'Yeah and I've not eaten or slept, I've just been moping around in some comatose state' She sunk onto the sofa, biting down hard on her bottom lip to keep her tears at bay.

'Honey' Brooke tentatively joined her. 'That's normal'

'Is it? Because right now I don't see how anything can be normal again. I just want to forget and move on and pretend _he_ never happened.'

'Snorting coke and fucking random guys isn't going to achieve that'

Peyton took a shaky breath, her head lolling onto Brooke's shoulder. 'I didn't fuck him' She muttered after a few moments silence.

'You don't know how happy I am to hear that' Brooke threaded her fingers through Peyton's tangled hair.

'I probably would have if you hadn't sent him away'

'Well, I'm going to stay here and you're going to give me your phone and there'll be no calling anymore of your so called _friends_, you got me?' Brooke told her strictly.

Peyton looked up at her, a smile on her lips, it didn't reach her eyes but it was something. 'You don't have to do that'

'I know I don't. But I want to'

It felt weird to know that Brooke cared that much, especially due to her loyalty to Lucas. Peyton relaxed fully in the fashion moguls arms. 'Thanks Brooke'.

* * *

Karen stood in her son's apartment.

She would always be proud. Always be proud of everything he'd achieved, especially in the last year. His apartment resembled everything he'd strived for, everything he'd become, his new life.

But she was mad. Mad at the hand of cards he'd been dealt in his lifetime. He deserved ever such a lot more. He didn't deserve all this and although she knew his choices and actions over the last few days had derived from a noble mind with selfless intentions, it didn't make it any easier to sit by and watch. She, after all, had years on her son, years of wisdom and she knew his decisions, although intended as chivalrous, were indeed not going to do a modicum of good.

But she wouldn't tell him he was wrong. She wouldn't try and persuade him otherwise. He had to fix this himself and in his own way. He'd have to learn from his mistakes.

'Where's Peyton Luke?' Lily's innocent little voice droned into Karen's conscious.

The little girl was sat on the floor at his feet, an explosion of pink barbie essentials around her.

He looked down at her, his face contorted.

'Er..'

'Doesn't she live here too?' Lily walked her barbie up his leg, her brown eyes concentrating on bending the dolls limbs to imitate a walking motion.

'No Lil'

'When will she come round?'

'Lily, I'm not...Peyton and I aren't together any more' He told her on a heavy exhale. He didn't know if she was just becoming more perceptive or if she'd just really taken a liking Peyton, whatever the reasoning, he wasn't thrilled by her questions.

'But...I like Peyton'

'What's this one called again?' He changed the subject, taking the plastic doll that was perched on his knee.

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Barbie Luke'

He feigned interest and she was quick to pounce on the sudden attention. She'd been excited about getting on a plane to come and see her big brother and her mother had assured her they'd have fun but since they'd arrived in New York she'd been bored. Lucas was boring.

'You wanna see my newest doll?'

'Sure'

Karen smirked at his lack of enthusiasm.

Lily shuffled across the floor on her knees, delving into her little pink case to retrieve her prize possession. 'Mummy let me get her at the airport' She announced, standing and skipping back over to the sofa. She clambered onto his lap, holding out the doll for inspection. 'It's Peyton' She grinned. 'Did you know Peyton is famous?'

Lucas held the little replica of his former girlfriend in his hands, pinging the curly blonde hair, it was surprisingly realistic. It didn't matter how hard he seemed to try, he couldn't seem to escape the image of his girlfriend. Former girlfriend.

'Lucas I'm going to go out and get you a few bits from the store- are you alright here with her?' Karen interrupted his idol staring.

'Er sure, yeah sure'

Karen nodded, quickly giving her daughter a kiss to the head and warning her to be good before making an exit.

The truth was, she needed to escape Lucas' mood. It was catching and she was sure if she didn't get out for some air soon, he was going to drive her to insanity.

That and perhaps her desire to make a couple of errands had governed her departure.

True, she did need to stop by the store to stock up on some food for his empty cupboards but there was also Peyton.

She needed to see Peyton. Perhaps it was her maternal instinct that had her wanting to check up on her son's ex-girlfriend. No matter what it was, she soon found herself on Peyton's floor, waiting patiently for the door to be answered.

'K-Karen' Peyton spluttered upon seeing the awaiting guest in the corridor. She'd been expecting Brooke. She'd been staying there for the last few nights, in fact for the last couple of weeks Brooke had been flitting in and out of her apartment as though it were her own. Not for a second had she ever anticipated seeing Karen Scott again.

'Hi sweetie. Can I come in?'

Wearily, Peyton stepped back, her confusion and surprise both apparent.

'I couldn't stand being in Tree Hill, when he's here. I've brought Lily up. We're staying at his for a while' Karen explained.

'Right' Peyton shuffled into the kitchen, leaning her petite frame against the work surfaces for support. This surprise visitor had her dizzy and reeling. A part of her wanted Karen to just leave. She didn't want to have anything to do with anything so closely related to Lucas Scott but the other half, the other half craved anything and everything she could get.

'Darling are you eating?'

'Huh?' Peyton blinked.

'Oh sweetie' Karen sighed. 'I'm sorry. He loves you, you do know that don't you?'

Peyton scrunched her eyes together and shook her head softly. She didn't need to be filled with false hope. 'I'm sorry Karen, but I, I'm not feeling so well'

'No' Karen agreed. She didn't look at all well. 'Why don't you go and get in bed, I'm going to make you something to eat'

Peyton opened her mouth to decline but Karen cut her off before she even began. 'I won't take no for an answer' She smiled. 'Go on'

Peyton's mouth twitched into a pathetic excuse for a smile as she nodded obediently, exiting in search of her bed.

Karen went about making the girl a good meal. She felt somewhat responsible somehow, Lucas after all was her son and he was the cause of this young girls heart ache. Karen knew, call it mother's intuition, but she knew that these two weren't just a fling, they were the real deal and it pained her to watch it crumble. She wanted the best for her son, she wanted him to be happy and Peyton was the key to his happiness. She could see it all slipping through his fingertips and if he wasn't going to grab on and hold tight, she would.

'Who're you?'

Karen jumped, dropping the knife in her grasp as she looked up at the blonde woman standing before her.

'Er-'

'This is my daughter's home, what do you think you're doing?' She asked curtly.

'Daughter?' Karen feigned ignorance, she knew all too well who this woman was.

'Yes. I'm Elizabeth Wolf. What do you think you're doing?'

'I'm sorry, I'm Lucas' mother' Karen smiled politely. 'I just came by to see how Peyton was doing'

'Where is she?'

'Er, she's a little worse for wear right now. I think the break up hit her kind of hard' Karen made her way around the kitchen and Ellie didn't like the way she seemed to have made herself at home. 'I'm making her something to eat, do you want anything?'

'No' Ellie shook her head indifferently. 'Break up?'

Karen stopped what she was doing and anxiously took in the woman. She knew who Elizabeth Wolf was. She knew what was going on in this woman's life, not from Peyton but from the magazines that had her mother's case splayed across their cheap covers. She wasn't the least bit surprised by Ellie's lack of know when it came to what was going on in Peyton's life but her heart still ached for the young twenty something.

'Yes' Karen nodded her head sharply. She was done with the polite formalities, Ellie hadn't paid her any so why should she? 'Lucas and Peyton broke up the other week. He's not in a clear state of mind right now. He thinks he's protecting her'

Ellie rolled her eyes and without another word she marched down the hall in search of her daughter.

Peyton's room was dim, the curtains drawn in an attempt to block out the light.

She rolled toward the door at the sound of approaching footsteps, expecting Karen's caring face. Her surprise was evident as her mother waltzed in.

'What're you doing cooped up in here?' Ellie dropped onto the bed, her lightweight bouncing.

'I'm tired Mum' Peyton curled deeper into the covers, trying to escape the deceiving hands that were reaching for her. She didn't look up at Ellie. She didn't want to see her mother. She hadn't seen her since before she'd been charged and taken into prison.

'Baby girl' Skinny arms cocooned her rigid figure just the same, oblivious to Peyton's aversion. 'Aren't you going to look at me?'

Peyton didn't answer. She turned her face into the mattress, feeling as though she were eight years old again. She could distinctly remember bouts of time when Ellie had disappeared from her world and then returned as though nothing had happened. She could remember unlocking the front door to make sure her mother would be able to get in, a habit that seemed to have stuck with her. Ellie's stints of time away were never addressed and while Peyton had always sulked away in her room for a good few days, she'd always eventually emerged, forgetting her anger and frustration and instead forgiving in a way that only a child could.

The older she'd gotten, the harder it was to just excuse her mother's behaviour. She was no longer a child but as Ellie pulled the sheets away from her face and stroked a hand over her head that's exactly what she felt like.

'You didn't come to see me?'

Peyton scoffed into her pillow. 'I didn't really feel like it' She muttered.

Ellie's hand stopped fussing at her tangled hair, stilling against her child's head. 'I'm sorry baby'

'For what?'

'That you broke up with that Lewis guy'

Peyton sat up sharply. 'It's Lucas and I don't want your fucking sympathy _Mother_'

'I know you're upset but-'

'Why do you do it?' Peyton shot up, astounding herself by the loud shriek of words that left her mouth. She'd spent the extent of the last couple of weeks in bed and could barely find the energy to mutter a few words but in the last few minutes, her mother's visit had drained the sadness that had had her debilitated and weak and she was consumed with anger.

Ellie sat stunned.

'I don't want you here Mum. I dont. I don't want you pretending you care. You don't'

Ellie frowned this time, her eyes rounding as she took in the tears forming in her daughter's usually vibrant green eyes. 'You're my daughter. Of course I care' She didn't understand where such an outburst had come from.

'Care? If you cared you'd have been there Mum. You wouldn't drink. You wouldn't fuck up. You wouldn't take fucking heroin. You wouldn't do any of that shit because I'd be too important to you. You'd have wanted to be there when I needed a Mum, like when I was scared to have my first vaccination jab, all those nights when I was frightened of the dark and you weren't there to look under the bed and Dad just never did it right, when I was in the hospital with a bullet wound, or when I got my period for the first time' She trailed off, sniffling loudly.

'Peyton' Ellie exhaled. 'It's not as though I was never there'

'Yeah, but never when I needed you- you were either too wasted to be in my presence or Daddy had sent you off to rehab. You encouraged me to do this modelling shit but I was just a kid and I still needed parents. I still needed you to treat me like a kid, I needed a curfew and rules and I needed you to stop people from taking advantage of me. I needed you to be there!' She screeched. 'You ask me why I didn't come to see you in a prison cell? Well why weren't you there when I needed a fucking Mother?'

Ellie blinked.

Bewildered by her own outburst, Peyton slouched breathlessly against the wall, her heart racing.

Silence engulfed them. Uncomfortable, ugly silence.

Years of anger, frustration and neglect had escaped her mouth. Things she'd always thought she'd never have the strength to say had fired from her lips in less than thirty seconds. Words she could never take back. But she felt no guilt.

She was buzzing.

'I was there' Ellie's voice was soft and weak in her feeble attempt to convince herself of her statement.

Peyton turned her body towards the window. 'You were a part time Mother at best' She voiced strongly.

'Baby I try. I've always tried. Just wait until your a Mum. Just wait, then you'll realise how fucking hard it is'

'If I ever have a child I will be nothing like you' Peyton scoffed. 'Nothing'

Ellie didn't hang around long after that. After a moments silence, she stood and left without another word.

Peyton let her body slide down the wall, until she was sat on the floor.

She didn't regret it. It was the truth. Every word. She'd always just been too scared to say it before now.

_He'd _given her the strength. _He'd _given her so much.

Their relationship had existed of merely one summer.

It had been a fleeting period of time. But it had felt like an extraordinarily long period of time to her. It had been monumental. It had changed her significantly. She'd no longer been just herself. They'd been each two halves of a whole. He'd shown her who she was, she'd liked that girl but things couldn't go back to how they'd been.

He'd left her.

She couldn't be half to a whole. She had to learn who she was on her own.

She didn't want to go back to being who she was before him, only she couldn't carry on being who she'd been with him because Lucas Scott was no longer there.

She had to find out who she was as just Peyton Wolf, not Peyton Wolf the model, not Peyton Wolf, Lucas Scott's girlfriend, just Peyton.


	21. Heartbreak

**A/N **I know, I know, I'm terrrrible! I just can't seem to juggle writing along with my work load and going out at Uni! I suck. But I haven't given up on this, just know that. I'm sorry for the long wait.

**Indifference**

Peyton stared at herself in the mirror, mouth slightly open as she applied dark crimson lipstick.

She was done up and she was out for the night.

She felt like she was fifteen again, like she'd snuck into a club she wasn't allowed to be in. She knew all these people, there had been a time when this had been a nightly ritual but now it all seemed so trivial.

Only she'd banned such thoughts from her head.

She rubbed her lips together.

Tonight she was taking back her life because she was done wallowing. She was moving on.

She didn't care about Lucas Scott.

He meant nothing.

She was a fighter. She'd been content before he'd entered her life. She'd been perfectly fine.

She'd not cared and she wanted to go back to that state of unfeeling. She was determined to go back to being that girl.

Because being that girl meant she couldn't get hurt.

Because being that girl would take away the heartache.

Yes, Lucas Scott had meant nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

* * *

'Brooke what the fuck is this?'

Lucas flailed a glossy mag in her face the second she passed through his apartment door. He wasn't in the best of moods.

She sighed, retrieving the entertainment magazine and tossing it aside, not bothering to look up at him as she sat down, her eyes instead focusing on the weather report on the tv in the background. She'd already seen what he was referring to. Peyton Wolf hits downtown as the headline read.

'Well?'

'First off, you can stop speaking to me like that' She reprimanded. 'I've got enough on my plate right now and so have you, you're getting yourself all worked up when you need to work on keeping your heart rate healthy' She exhaled heavily. 'She's allowed to go out Lucas'

He gritted his teeth together. Because nothing about the images splayed over the article displayed her just going out for a civilised evening. Her partying had ceased since they'd been together and the paparazzi were having a field day with her sudden return to the scene. 'You're just going to stand by and let her do this to herself? You said you'd look after her'

Brooke's eyes averted to him for the first time and he was quick to see she was thoroughly unamused.

'Stand by? I've been keeping her head above water for the last month Lucas. You're the one that's done this to her' She dared to whisper sharply. She'd been treating him like a prince, not daring to say a word wrong. His health wasn't good after all. 'She's slowly resorting back to everything she use to do because why not? No one fucking cares'

'I care'

'You care?' Brooke feigned understanding, her head bobbing. 'You care? I'm sorry I just find that hard to understand. If you care so much why won't you just stop this nonsense, why won't you let her come here? Why did you end it with her in the first place? You know what she's like. You know her past- you're the one that put me straight on everything she's been through' She grabbed the crumpled magazine. 'Surly you're not that surprised by _this'_

He was forced to look at the sickening images once more.

Inebriated. Scantily clad images.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

'I can't stop her from fucking around Lucas'

He blinked at her, her words stunning him into silence. He'd worked hard at convincing himself that it wouldn't be as bad as it looked; A night out on the town, nothing more.

'Luke' Brooke sighed, her anger dissolving as she watched him sink onto the sofa, his head dropping back against the pillows. 'I'm sorry' She reached out, her hand resting on his hunched shoulders.

'She's sleeping with other people already?' His hand fisted into the pillow at his side. 'It's barely been a month'

'I don't know if she is for certain' Brooke amended. 'But you hurt her' She told him softly. 'She's dealing with it the only way she knows how'

'By acting like a fucking slut'

'Don't you get how she works yet?' Brooke tried to ask gently. She sighed at his blank face, perching herself on the arm of the chair as she held his hand. 'Lucas, you were the first person that wanted her for more than her body, well so she thought. When you ended it with her so abruptly you've just confirmed her belief that people just want her for her looks-'

'I love her'

'I know that. But she's not so certain anymore. You made her believe that you wouldn't go anywhere. I've been keeping her busy with work and trying to distract her but I can't babysit her every moment of every day, it was only a matter of time before this happened' She looked him in the eye. 'She's just trying to convince herself that you didn't matter Luke. But it's not going to help, I know its not. Because you did matter and when she comes to terms with that then this will stop'

He closed his eyes.

It was a rarity that he felt on the verge of tears but he was finding it hard to keep himself in check.

He inhaled sharply.

'I've fucked things up'

'Well, it wouldn't take a genius to come to that conclusion' She smiled sympathetically.

'I can't be with her though- it's best I'm not with her, I won't put her through this, I can't-'

'Lucas-'

'My heart Brooke' He objected.

Whilst she understood his point of view, whilst she new he was only trying to protect Peyton, she was also separated enough to see that in actual fact what they both needed was to be with each other, no matter the circumstance.

'You're...' She trailed off as a loud buzzing noise muffled her words. 'What's that noise?' She squinted as she watched him rifle around in his trouser pocket; retrieving the source of the vibrating item against his thigh.

Brooke stared at the little bleeping pager, the red light flashing persistently on the side.

'What is that?'

He didn't answer.

'Lucas?' She took the item from his hand, urging a response.

'A heart' He muttered dazedly.

'The hospital?' She reiterated. 'A heart?'

'A...a heart'

* * *

**Remorse.**

Peyton blinked up at the ceiling.

'Wow. That was...'

His heavy panting was making her feel sick.

She swallowed and closed her eyes.

She wasn't quite sure how she'd got here. She'd been doing so well. She'd been working stupid hours and spending her evenings at Brooke's apartment and she wished she was there right now watching some rubbish tv programme and eating ice cream.

But she wasn't. Regret consumed her and she'd never wished she was inebriated more than now but that sadly wasn't the case. She was stone cold sober. She had to remind herself that she'd wanted this. That she'd planned this when she'd left her home earlier that evening. Brooke had been determined over the last month. Determined to be there for her in a way that caused Peyton to feel a little ashamed of how reliant she'd become on her boss. She'd been independent ever since she could remember. If she didn't rely on anyone other than herself there was no way of getting hurt.

Only she'd broken that rule.

She'd trusted; loved and consequently got hurt.

And now she hated her needy, out of character behaviour. She didn't like being alone with her thoughts and Brooke had been distracting her on a daily basis but her friends attitude was beginning to make her feel weak and feeble and she despised that. She didn't want to be weak. Wouldn't be weak any longer.

'You're so fucking sexy' His words made her shudder and when his lips touched her bare shoulder she shied away in revulsion, turning onto her side.

She'd chosen this guy for a purpose and that purpose had been well and truly served.

Only she'd not accomplished what she'd set out to. This was meant to take her mind off of Lucas. This was meant to rid him from her world altogether.

But it hadn't. Not in the slightest. He was gone but not from her head. Not at all.

She felt guilty and dirty. She felt as though she'd betrayed him.

She'd been trying. She'd been trying for the last thirty-seven days. She'd lent on Brooke. She'd listened to the brunette's advice and she was grateful, so very grateful to have a friend but Brooke had assured her that the dull ache in her heart would fade and she'd feel better but she didn't.

She wanted to get past this. She wanted to move on and be happy in herself but so far she'd accomplished nothing but self doubt. She didn't know how to be herself. Lucas had shown her who she was but she was certain she couldn't be that girl without him and she wanted to be that girl. Not this girl. Not the girl that slept with men she didn't know.

'Leave'

'What?'

'I said leave. Go'

There was silence and then the bed sheets rustled beside her as his weight lifted from the mattress.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to block out the sounds of him redressing.

She kept telling herself that this was fine. That it was just sex.

Before Lucas she'd enjoyed her sex life. It had never been a big deal but he'd taken that away from her as well as her heart.

'Shall I leave my number?'

She cringed into the pillow.

'Just. Get. Out'

* * *

Lucas felt drained. In every true sense of the word. Sleep was hard to come by when you were worrying consistently. If he wasn't thinking about his future he was thinking about Peyton. Thinking about her didn't bring him the happiness it once had. He was instead filled with guilt and nerves over her state. He wanted to know where she was, what she was doing and most importantly how she was doing because from what he could deduce things weren't good.

His Mother had been to see her. Of that he was sure. She hadn't needed to tell him. She'd come home smelling of his ex girlfriends perfume and he just knew. He knew by the sombre look on her face, he knew by the way she avoided his eyes and busied herself with Lily.

He had not questioned her though as indeed he'd wanted too at the time. He'd wanted to ask so many questions but he hadn't.

But now he had to stop thinking about Peyton.

It had been just over thirty seven days since he'd made the choice to end their relationship.

His mother had been and left.

He was on his own once more and he'd never felt more alone at this given moment.

'Have you called any of your family Lucas?'

He shifted on the edge of the bed. 'I'd rather not have them here'

'But-'

'I'm not a child Doctor, I'm aware of the possible outcomes of this operation; I don't need someone to hold my hand and my family live a considerable distance away. You understand'

'When you awake, you'll be grateful to have a familiar face. You're going to want some help'

'A friend of mine is here' He disregarded the professional's plea to have his mother contacted. Keeping her in the dark was protecting her, besides she'd barely been gone a few days. She'd only worry and she couldn't be here in time.

He was nervous and despite his seemingly calm exterior, the fear was evident in his eyes.

The Doctor didn't try again. Lucas laid back on the bed, silently staring up at the ceiling as the man went about prodding him with all his necessary examinations before they proceeded any further and Lucas felt like a zoo animal.

He closed his eyes and envisioned Peyton. Her face is what would get him through this and he needed to focus on someone other than himself right now.

The next twenty four hours were going to be life altering. Literally. This would either make or break him.

Life or death.

* * *

**Heartache**

Peyton shut the door behind herself. She wanted to get out of here and quickly. She wanted to erase her night here but with every step her feet slowed to an eventual halt.

A familiarity encompassed her.

She'd spent a lot of time in hotels as a child. Given her father's job, stability wasn't something she'd ever had and each brief stint of time that had been spent in plush pent suites merged together in her mind.

She stood in the corridor, eyes trained on the rich crimson carpet and suddenly she was six years old. Her eyes shut tight and she inhaled and it smelt just as it had then. A mixture of air freshener and exotic flowers.

She remembered this hotel from her youth. She remembered running up and down these corridors, entertaining herself on long summer days. She'd sat in the gap between the uncomfortable antique chairs and the wall and watched people come and go. She'd told herself stories about the strangers that disappeared behind their doors. Businessmen. The well off family with their snobby children. But her favourite was always the young couple infatuated with one another. She'd wanted to be the beautiful women with their expensive clothes and polished nails. They'd looked like princesses being swept off of their feet and she'd always been so certain that they were off to live their happily ever after.

She opened her eyes, a hand pressed against the cream walls to support herself.

She wasn't so naïve anymore. The idealistic visions she'd had as a little girl were no longer. She'd got as she'd always wished. She had beauty and expensive clothes; she was one of those women. But they'd not been in love and living a life full of happily ever afters. Happily ever afters didn't happen in hotel rooms. Happily ever afters didn't exist.

She pushed away from the wall, propelling her feet forward.

She couldn't stay a moment longer. She felt sick. She didn't want to be one of those women with the fancy clothes, she wanted more. She didn't want to be the girl she'd once been. She wanted to be happy and as much as she was trying futilely to kid herself, more than anything she wanted love.

* * *

Brooke stood in the waiting room.

There were paintings on the walls of smiling faces. She wanted to rip them down. She supposed their purpose was to brighten peoples mood, to maybe instill some hope and optimism but currently all they were working in doing was pissing her off. It was as though they were taking great amusement from her grief.

She felt sick to the stomach.

She was impatient at the best of times but this was horrendous. Brooke Davis was a wreck. She couldn't keep still.

She'd held his hand as they'd put him under general anesthesia. She'd watched his eyelids droop closed and she feared it would be the last time she saw his eyes. They'd taken him away after that. She'd begrudgingly watched them take him away.

She was helpless; there was not a single thing she could do. His life was in their hands.

She only wished she had Peyton with her. She knew Peyton should be here. But he wouldn't allow it. She'd tried. Tried so very hard to convince him but he'd not listened to a word. She'd been given strict instructions to leave Peyton out of it.

So there she stood. Alone in the hospital waiting room. Time ticking slowly on. And all she could do now was wait.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

* * *

**Anger.**

'Darling'

Peyton sat cross-legged on her piano stool, a cigarette poised in one hand while staring out at the sky scrape.

'Peyton' Mick tried again to get her attention.

He was acting strangely as of late. Something Peyton was becoming increasingly aware of. He'd not tried to lecture her, not once. He'd seemingly decided to give up that role, the reasoning for she wasn't quite sure of. Guilt was her main suspicion, he was still feeling responsible for the Felix situation and he couldn't bear her being mad at him.

'Peyton?'

'Mmm' She exhaled a breath of smoke and propped the remaining cigarette in an ashtray balanced on the piano keys before her. Her eyes tore away from the view to look at him and he suddenly didn't know quite what to say.

'I didn't know you were smoking again'

She shrugged. It wasn't a big deal. She was proud of herself because it was just a cigarette and quite frankly she wanted something else entirely to soothe her restless mind but this would have to make do to help relieve her stress.

Her eyes were still piercing into him, daring him to say something. Daring him to scold her but he didn't.

'Your Mother-'

'I don't really want to talk about _Mother right now' She looked away, putting the cigarette back to her lips and inhaling._

He sighed. He wanted to physically stop her from smoking but that would make him a hypocrite and besides, she was an adult now, free to make her own decisions.

'Peyton there'll be other boys' He declared, awkwardly approaching the piano.

Her brow furrowed over her eyes and she stubbed out the cigarette, placing the ashtray atop of the grand piano. Her feet found the pedals and her hands found the keys and began to effortlessly recite well-known scales.

She was trying to ignore him, of that he could tell but even so he stood aside her, one hand on the shiny wood as she continued to play.

'Peyton stop a moment'

She wouldn't.

'I'm sorry about Lucas, I know you really liked him and...' he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Sweetheart please stop'

The scales had ceased now, fingers transcending into a complex piece, harshly pressing on the keys to drown out his voice.

'Peyton' He moved abruptly, straddling the piano stool and simultaneously stopping her hands from continuing.

She instantly tried to move away, yelping and reeling back. 'Get off Dad'

'Listen to me'

'I don't want to listen' She exclaimed.

'Darling'

'I don't want to listen' Her voice took on a growl that made him jump.

'There'll be-'

'There won't be others. I don't want anyone else' She pushed against his tight hold but his hands stayed put; strong and persistant. 'I hate him'

'Baby-'

'I hate him, I...' She tired in his arms, unwillingly succumbing to his embrace.

'Sh' He pushed her hair back from her face, kissing her forehead.

'I l-love him' She choked out.

'I know baby. It's going to be alright'

* * *

Beat. Beat.

Lucas' vision blurred. It was so bright. His eyes flickered as he watched the nurse feed cardiac antibiotics into his arm. It was the last thing he was really aware of. He hated that he was so helpless, he hated that he had to put his life, his body in these other people's hands. But soon, it was too late to even worry because his eyes were fully closed and then he was unconscious.

Beat. Beat.

His body was hooked up to a heart and lung machine and it was quick to take over; his body no longer his own, no longer functioning on it's own. It pumped the blood round his body for him.

Beat. Beat.

A nurse arrived with a box. Not just any box. It held life. Literally. A heart. Someone had died tonight but in their death they were giving Lucas a chance.

Beat. Beat.

Professionals surrounded his bed.

Everything was prepared.

It was time.

Beat. Beat.

Beat. Beat.

* * *

'Hey you'

He temporarily thought it was all over. That he was dead. Because she was there. Clear as day. She was in all his dreams but this was different, it felt so real. Only it wasn't heaven. Couldn't be, because she wasn't dead.

'What're you doing Luke?'

He frowned as he looked around. He couldn't determine where they were. Everything was stark white and glowing, including her. She looked like an angel. Golden locks framed her pale face. Everything was exaggerated. Her eyes greener, lips redder and he was afraid to reach out and touch her incase she vanished into thin air.

'You promised me you weren't going anywhere. You promised me'

He swallowed thickly. There was a dull throbbing ache in his chest and he fisted his hands as he spoke, trying to keep his staggered breathing in check.

'I'm not leaving you' His voice sounded distant and almost unintelligible to his own ears and he wasn't sure if she herself could make out his slur.

'I need you. Come back to me Lucas. Come back'

He attempted to stretch his hand out to her but they seemed anchored to the bed.

'Come back to me'

Her voice was silky to his ears and he didn't want it to ever stop. It made everything ok. But then he blinked and as he'd feared, she was gone; magically disappeared before him.

He swallowed.

The surreal white room glared at him, growing brighter until the intensifying light became blinding, his surroundings turning into nothingness.

Visionless, his body tingled from head to toe, an intolerable pain emitting from the centre of his entire being. A sensation much like falling encased his body, pulling him down and imprisoning him in darkness and then, then there was nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.


	22. Secrets and Lies

'How're you feeling?' She looked down at the hand cupped within her own, uncertainty raining her normal confident eyes. 'Do you really think the doctor's know what they're talking about? Maybe we should get a second opinion?'

'Brooke you're fussing' Lucas squeezed her hand. 'They say we couldn't have hoped for a better outcome'

'I know, I know, but it's only been seven days. It seems completely obscene to discharge you so soon'

'I feel fine. I can lay in bed at home. It makes no difference'

She nodded her head but inside she was screaming no because there was a difference. There wasn't doctors on standby, there wasn't a button next to his bed to alert anyone if something happened.

'Besides, my Mum will be there Sunday, thanks to you and your blabber mouth'

She rolled her eyes. 'Lucas, you've just had a heart transplant. Your mother deserved to know that you're in hospital. I wish you'd take this all more seriously. You haven't just broken your arm, you've just had a freaking heart transplant- what part of that don't you understand?'

'I am taking it seriously. I just don't see the point in unnecessarily worrying the people I care about' He argued diplomatically.

'Even if that means breaking the person your in love with's heart. It's kinda ironic- you get yourself a new heart and you break some else's' She snidely remarked.

He frowned in response, freeing his hand from her grip. 'Brooke we've been through this' His eyes scrunched up in exasperation. 'My body could still try and attack this heart. I don't want her involved okay?'

She glumly shook her head in frustration. He may have been the one in the hospital bed but she was starting to feel like she was going mentally insane under his obscene reasoning.

'How is sh-'

'Don't you ask me how she is, you don't have the right. You don't want her involved then you don't get to ask about her' She snapped, rising to her feet.

He bit his tongue to stop himself from arguing. She was agitated and if he'd learnt one thing through their many years of friendship, it was that you do not rile an already agitated Brooke Davis.

'I've got to go' She breathed out. 'I'll be back to pick you up in a few hours then'

He nodded submissively under her strict gaze and watched her saunter out of his room. He couldn't wait to get out of this room, with it's white walls and white bed. He couldn't wait to be done with all the fussing. He couldn't wait to just start living.

* * *

'Ellie' Mick yanked the bottle from her hand. 'Our daughter is in there and I have a feeling that if she sees you with this she'll walk out of that door and never come back again'

Ellie's eyes darted through to the living area, noting the slender legs hanging off of the end of the sofa.

'She doesn't want to see me, why is she even here?' She hissed back loudly.

'Shhh. Because she's upset, and she's ours and we're the people she comes to when she's upset' He looked at her sternly and his reprimanding voice urged her eyes to skitter to him. 'She needs us. She needs you darling' He murmured quietly.

But not so quietly that Peyton couldn't hear. She sunk further into the sofa, trying to block out the raised voices coming from the adjoining room. She was quickly regretting her choice to come here. She was lonely and Brooke wasn't around to distract her and at the time she'd decided any company was better than none but she was quickly realising Ellie was an exception.

'Just speak to her. You're meant to be the adult'

'She doesn't want to listen to me. What am I meant to say?'

'Why don't you try being honest. She's a grown up now Ellie, you can't hide from her. Just, tell her the truth'

She heard her father's deep voice suggest, his tone calm and she didn't need to be in there with them to know his hand was on her Mother's back, rubbing gentle soothing circles.

The words being transpired ceased and she knew they were probably having one of their silent conversations that she'd witnessed on more than one occasion. She never understood how they were still together. It was mind boggling to her; realistically they hadn't stood a chance and yet here they were despite the drinking, fame and infidelity. But in those small moments when she'd seen them standing in each others arms, staring at each other, silently conversing she could see it. The spark. They loved each other. They understood each other and that's seemingly what held them together because not much else was.

'Hey baby' Ellie's voice ciphered through her, tearing her from daze. She looked up, noting her mother's dishevelled attire in comparison with their last meeting. She was clearly having a bad week; her hair was scraped back messily and didn't have its normal glossy radiance and she was doning a sloppy oversized tee with leggings and mismatching socks.

Peyton exhaled heavily through her nose, hoping her not so enthusiastic greeting would be enough to get her mother to surrender and disappear.

Ellie, like her daughter, could be stubborn when she wanted though. She sunk onto the long seater, her hand settling over her Peyton's slender fingers.

She could remember holding her daughter for the first time, holding fingers so much smaller than they were now.

'I, I wanted to give you something sweetie'

Peyton's blank eyes wearily lifted. She was use to bribes. Use to being given materialistic gifts that at a time she'd seen as representative of her parents love. She was no longer nine years old though.

Ellie delved into her pocket, producing a round disc.

Peyton's interest peaked, her brow furrowing at the interesting article.

'This, I...' Ellie sighed, running her free hand through her limp locks. 'This is the only thing I own that means anything to me' She placed it to Peyton's open palm and watched her daughter inspect the little red token with trepidation. 'I've only ever been able to abstain from alcohol once before. It's my biggest achievement' She blinked back the onslaught of tears.

Peyton's eyes widened in surprise because this was never a subject that Ellie willingly talked about. At times she was sure her mother deluded herself into thinking she had no issue with alcohol at all.

'See I, I was pregnant' She elaborated as Peyton stared down at the engraved words. _12 Months, Sober._. 'You talked about how I didn't care. I care baby. You're the only thing I've ever cared for, the only person I've loved unconditionally'

Peyton's eyes welled as she gripped the little disc in her palm.

'I, I knew I wouldn't be good at being a mother, we knew we weren't cut out to be parents' Ellie continued shakily. 'From the first time I felt you kick I loved you though. It, it's strange. You have this little thing growing inside of you and you can't fucking see it but you have this innate need to protect and love it' Ellie smiled sadly. 'I wanted you to have the best. We both did' Without hesitance she reached out and ran her hand over Peyton's cheek. 'So much so that we, we made a decision. When I was four months gone we filled out adoption papers'

Peyton's hands grew clammy, the circular coin indenting into her palm as she listened to Ellie's chocked words.

'We did everything. We chose them, the parents. They, they were perfect. Anna and Larry Sawyer they were called. They wanted you so very much and they would've been perfect, they would've given you everything we haven't been able to' Her voice broke and she closed her eyes tight. 'But, but when it came to it I, I couldn't hand you over. I couldn't let you go. I, I couldn't'

She bravely opened her green eyes to look into Peyton's glassy pair, so very similar to her own.

'I'm so sorry that I wasn't strong enough for you. I'm so sorry that I couldn't do it. I...If I could go back I'd, I'd be stronger for you. I'd do the right thing.'

'Mum' Peyton sniffled, frantically scrambling to her knees and flinging her arms around Ellie's neck.

'I know I don't show it that well, but you, we love you more than anything' Ellie whispered into her ear.

Peyton realised something in that moment. 'I love you too' She muttered back. She realised that it wasn't their love that had kept them together all this time, it wasn't that at all, it was their love for her.

* * *

He felt bizarre.

He felt as though he'd just escaped from prison. A prison he'd been entrapped in for the most part of his life. He'd had his heart condition for as long as he could remember, it followed him around, giving jurisdiction on what he could and couldn't do.

Only no such heart condition existed any more.

It felt bizarre and he didn't want to indulge in the freedom he'd been granted because it wasn't steadfast. There was still a chance this could all go wrong and that unforeseeable future niggled away, keeping the buzzing sense of liberation at bay, simmering beneath the surface.

It was too soon. He kept telling himself that. It was too soon to really know if his new heart had accepted its new inhabitance. There'd been no signs of rejection but Lucas wasn't naive enough to think he was out of the woods yet. He wondered how much time, if ever, would have to pass before he felt certain that his body wasn't a minefield waiting to go off.

Maybe that was the reasoning behind his recklessness. Perhaps that was the reason why he was stood at the other end of the bar, little under twenty four hours after being released from the hospital under strict instructions to take it slow.

He absently scratched the irritated skin at his hand where a tube had been just the previous morning.

He didn't know what he was doing here or what had governed him to be so brash.

It hadn't been hard to track her down. One look on the internet and it didn't take him long to find a sighting on someones twitter account.

His actions were nothing but hypocritical considering he'd refused Brooke's constant efforts in urging him to contact the girl that was less than a few metres away at the present time. But he'd just wanted to see her, needed to see her.

She looked different. To him anyhow. Beautiful as ever but different.

He'd not been in the same room as her for over a month now and his eyes raked over her, hungrily committing everything about her to memory.

He felt like he was seeing things with new eyes.

He watched her fumble with her purse and sip on her drink and he instantly knew that she'd had more than enough.

He didn't like the way she wasn't telling the guy with his hand on her hip to back the hell off. He didn't like the blank look in her eyes. And he sure as hell wasn't about to stand here and watch her leave with him.

He'd been fighting to keep her at a distance, to block her out as Brooke made attempt after attempt to reconcile the mess he'd made of their relationship but he'd stood his ground. He'd not relented because he'd finished things for a reason, only that didn't mean he wanted to watch her continue doing _this_ to herself because it was breaking him.

She didn't notice him at first. It was only when his hand ensnared her wrist and his voice spoke behind her to the persistent man at her side that she was aware of his presence.

Her whole body stiffened, paralysed.

She thought she must look awfully ridiculous because she didn't do anything. She didn't turn around nor say anything as the guy beside her reluctantly resigned to the fact that tonight was not going to be his lucky night after all and stomped off in search of another pursuit.

She stayed facing the bar, body rigid and eyes closed because she couldn't turn around. She didn't want to deal with seeing his face.

His fingers still round her wrist, he looked over her shoulder and eyed the cigarette poised in her hand and felt an urge to confiscate it. But he didn't, couldn't.

What he wouldn't have given to get inside her head and see every single little thing she'd done in the days they'd been apart. He squinted, brow furrowed. He was sure he wouldn't like any of it, not one little bit.

'You're smoking?' His voice was husky and deep in her ear and completely reprimanding.

She'd thought she'd coped surprisingly well over the last month, sure she'd gone out and drunk away her sorrows, but really at the end of the day, all things considering, she thought she'd been doing pretty well. However, his disappointed tone suggested otherwise and she suddenly found herself flushing with anger. Because it wasn't fair. He wasn't being fair. It wasn't fair that he was here. It wasn't fair for him to even speak to her let alone question her actions. It wasn't fair for him to pretend he cared. It wasn't fair at all.

'What're you doing?' She hissed back, jerking her arm out of his hold.

'What're you doing?' He fired back just as fiercely.

'What does it look like?'

Her words sparked an anger in him that had not stirred in a long time. 'If you think I'm going to stand here and watch as you drink yourself into a stupor and leave with some guy that just wants to-'

'Then fucking leave' She turned abruptly and stumbled and he caught her arm.

'I'll fucking leave' He nodded. 'But you're coming with me'

He was surprised at his strength considering having been hospitalized for the last seven days but he held her up and she didn't fight him. Not even once and it was only then that he realised how very intoxicated she was. He sighed, all anger vanishing as he wrapped a tentative arm around her waist to guide her out of the bar.

'Are you okay?'

'Mm' She slouched against him completely. 'Home' Soft murmurs sounded from her.

'Yes, I'm taking you home' His hand stayed steady around her, guiding her form and for the first time in over a month, he knew he was going to sleep well tonight because he didn't have to think about where she was or what she was doing for the next twelve hours. No, Siree. Tonight he could pretend that she was still his.

* * *

Lucas stared at her from the doorway.

She was still dressed in the clothes from the previous night. He'd not been able to bring himself to take off any more than her precariously high heels.

She arched her back and stretched, murmuring her discomfort as her restrictive dress allowed minimal movement and he instantly felt bad. He was a grown man, he should've had the decency to make her more comfortable before settling her in his bed. But he just hadn't been able to do it. When it came to Peyton Wolf, he lacked will power and stripping her down to her underwear would not have been proactive in him being a gentleman.

Her arms lazily moved above her head as her eyes fluttered open.

It took her a few moments. A few long moments to recognise that she wasn't in her apartment.

She jarred upright, looking directly into his waiting face.

She was here in his apartment. In his bed. She could smell him on the sheets and she just wanted to sink back into the warmth and safety that they offered.

'You're awake' He stood and they stared at each other silently.

His voice drummed through her. She'd not seen him in over a month and as much as she'd not been handling their separation, seeing him, being so near to him wasn't helping either.

She swallowed.

'How, how did I get here?' She finally muttered.

She closed her eyes, trying to recollect parts of the previous evening. She'd been welcoming these blank mornings but not this time. She needed to remember everything that had happened. Every single second.

'You were drunk' His disapproval didn't go unnoticed.

'Even so, I know I wouldn't voluntarily go anywhere with you' She spat back with a disgruntled frown.

'I don't think you were really with it enough to know what you were doing. You past out when we got back here' He divulged.

A realm of conflicting emotions raged inside her. On the one side she was jumping for joy, thrilled to be back here, in his bed, him just within her reach. She longed to scramble onto her knees and fling herself into his arms and kiss him wildly, to pull him back onto the mattress and make love.

But she did no such thing. The teetering anger won out. Because he'd been the one that ended this. He'd been the one that had sent her into this pit of dispair that she couldn't seem to escape from and she hated him for it and she hated that he thought he could just waltz back in and act like a white knight when he'd pushed her away so easily. She didn't find any of this easy and she wasn't about to docilely thank him for saving her from her drunken behaviour. Not when it was his volatile actions that had sent her there.

'You had no right to just, just kidnap me' She threw the bed sheets back and staggered out of his bed.

He snorted. That's exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to hold her hostage here and prevent her from carrying on down this road. 'I wasn't about to let some sleaze take you home and do god knows what to you'

'What, where and whom I do, isn't any of your concern anymore Lucas' She reminded darkly.

He swallowed thickly.

'Maybe not but I don't condone rape and considering you weren't of a coherent mind enough to consent to anything last night I felt the need to get you away from filthy hands' He growled back.

She shook her head with a roll of her eyes. 'I'm going to leave now' She announced, stumbling slightly as she picked up her heels and stormed past him.

He grabbed her arm as she tried to side step round him. 'Don't you care? Don't you care that had I not been there you could've been seriously hurt last night'

She laughed in his face at his dramatic expression.

'It's not funny. You're acting like a fucking slut Peyton. Look at you. You're covered in bruises, you look like you haven't slept in days and-'

Her anger rose. 'What do you care what I do?' She really was intrigued.

'I care' He cried exasperatedly. 'You don't think I care?'

'Lucas you made your choice. I'm not yours to interfere with any longer. We're over remember?' She told him bluntly.

'Yes' He remembered. 'Peyton we may be over but that doesn't mean you have to resort to what you use to be. I don't define who you are'

She closed her eyes tightly because that's just what he didn't get. He had. She'd tried to be good, she'd tried so hard to find herself but she was living in a world where an escape was easier than dealing with her issues head on. She didn't know who she was and finding something that was seemingly lost wasn't that easy.

'I'm going'

'Please' He appealed. 'Just think about what you're doing, not for me or anyone else but for you. You're better than this'

'Am I?' She closed her eyes tightly. 'Please just, just stay away Luke'.

* * *

'Darling is everything alright?'

Peyton blinked back into the land of the living as another camera flash blinded her.

The photographer hesitantly approached her.

'Darling you seem, you seem a little out of sorts?' He worded carefully. He was used to working with dramatic models and a diva temper tantrum was the last thing he ever wanted on his hands, especially considering Peyton Wolf was known for her misdemeanors in and out of the work place. 'Are you okay?' He was concerned. Despite all the drama that was known to follow Miss Wolf around, once in front of the camera she was the easiest of people to work with. She was a pro and she didn't ever need any direction, she was a natural, but right now she was not playing ball. She was stiff and vacant and like a different person altogether. 'Peyton?' He kept his voice low and her stare circled the studio and all the expectant people trying to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Her long exaggerated eyelashes fluttered as she turned back to completely focus on the man before her. She nodded with a muttered apology and tried to snap out of it. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She wondered how she'd gone for years feeling as though she belonged here in this world and now, now her eyes were open to everything and she felt like she were trapped in somebody else's body.

'I need to stop'

'What?'

'I'm sorry I just...' She trailed off, already stalking across the studio, her heels sounding loudly against the hard floor. 'Brooke!'

The brunette froze in her tracks. Although she'd known it inevitable not to be caught, she'd been attempting to sneak into the shoot unseen, before slipping away again.

Peyton of course had other plans. She jogged the last coupe of steps, a smile at her lips.

'Where've you been?' She tried not to sound disheartened but the only person she considered to be a true friend had totally been MIA for the last week. She couldn't help but feel like perhaps she'd done something to upset her, that's usually what happened. She had a knack for pissing people off. 'Did I do something?'

'No, no sweetie' Brooke shook her head as she disposed of her bag on a high table, freeing her hands to embrace the blonde.

Peyton jumped, startled at the aggressive hug that was thrust upon her without warning. She still wasn't use to this kind of affection and Brooke wasn't one to usually dish it out anyway.

'Is everything alright?' Peyton asked warily. 'Are you sure I haven't done anything? Is it the paparazzi photos? Dad's already reprimanded me for them. I swear I don't keep meaning for that to happen I just, it-'

'Hey, I said you didn't do anything' Brooke kissed her cheek. 'I'm sorry, I've just been a little busy'

'Busy with what?'

'I had... I had some things I needed to do' Brooke sighed, moving away.

'I rang' Peyton watched her skitter around a clothes rail, pretending to check over the garments unnecessarily. 'Several times' She added.

'I know. I'm sorry'

Peyton stared at her back. She wasn't good with people but she was more intuitive than everyone thought and she felt comfortable in saying that there was definitely something wrong with Brooke Davis.

'How've you been?' Brooke attempted her chirpy tone but it lacked authenticity.

'Don't deflect. What's happened?' Peyton pleaded, crossing the space between them and settling a hand on the brunettes back. 'Is it me?'

'It's not you sweetie' Brooke smiled reassuringly at her.

'Well...what is it? Brooke what is it?' Peyton furrowed her brow.

'I'm just tired' When Peyton opened her mouth to argue, Brooke found herself relenting.

She realised that her pathetic excuses wouldn't fool Peyton Wolf one bit. She was a stubborn bitch and wasn't going to let this go and to be quite frank she was sick of keeping this secret. She wanted someone to confide in and deep down she knew Peyton should be a part of this. She didn't care what Lucas thought or how he was trying to protect the blonde in question because Brooke new better.

'Lucas wasn't answering his phone all last night. It just freaked me out. He shouldn't be doing anything to strenuous'

'He was with me' Peyton didn't heistate in informing her. 'I-'

'What?'

'He, he turned up at that thing last night. I don't remember much'

'He turned up? He's in no fit state to be partying' She said angrily. 'Did he tell you?' Brooke wondered aloud.

'Tell me what?' Her night was foggy in her mind.

Brooke exhaled heavily and shook her head despairingly.

'You can't just say something like that and not elaborate'

'He shouldn't be out' Brooke ranted. 'He shouldn't be running around after you when he's just had major heart surgery' She blurted and suddenly she felt the weight lifted from her chest. The mess that was the two blondes relationship didn't matter. It didn't exist because Peyton needed to hear this.

Peyton didn't feel any such relief.

For a moment she felt like the world had tilted on its axis, her hands grappled at the rail in front of her to stay up straight.

Everything stopped.

She couldn't hear anything. The buzz from the street below dissolved and Brooke's voice blurred into nothingness.

Her vision spinned in and out of focus and her stomach churned unpleasantly.

It was as though she were viewing everything from behind a lens of a camera, one moment flickering before her eyes, frame after frame.

Every word they'd spoken. Every smile he'd given her. Every breath they'd shared. Every touch. His eyes. His nose. His mouth. Lucas.

'Peyton' Brooke rubbed her back. 'Are you listening to me? Peyton?' Her words rung loudly in Peyton's ears all of a sudden and she winced at the piercing noise.

'He's okay sweetie' Brooke assured her again, pushing a fallen blonde curl behind Peyton's ear. 'His pager went off. There was a heart' she relayed quickly, fearing Peyton was about to pass out on her. Her hands instinctively went out to support her friend. 'There was a suitable heart and he went into surgery for the most part of a day'

Peyton swallowed. She was trembling and as much as she was trying to stay calm and listen to all the facts before she had a major break down, she couldn't control her body's physiological response.

'It went well' Brooke smiled encouragingly at her.

It went well. It went well. It went well.

Peyton repeated those three words in her head like a mantra, willing it to sink in. He was ok. It was ok.

'He has a new heart. I mean he doesn't seem to think he's out of the woods yet but so far the doctors are really pleased, there's been no signs of his body rejecting it, you've seen him yourself. He looks good right? They've released him which says a lot' She grasped Peyton's hands. 'He's going to be alright. I know it'

'W-when?'

Brooke could see it happening, her fear was lapsing into anger. She couldn't blame her. She'd been left in the dark and she was never going to be happy about that simple fact.

'A week ago yesterday' Brooke answered. 'Peyton, listen, please don't be upset. I wanted to tell you-'

'Then why didn't you?'

'Because he made me promise not to'

'Why now?'

'Because I don't care anymore about keeping secrets for Luke. I think you need to know and if that means pissing him off then so be it'

'You should've told me!' Peyton barked, simultaneously spinning around.

The buzz of the studio instantly quelled.

'Peyton wait, where're you going?'

She didn't answer. Her heels sounded against the hard wood flooring, slicing through the cumbersome silence as she fled from the studio.

* * *

She looked so different from just the few mere hours ago that she'd been in his apartment. Her hair was straight and tied back neatly and he could tell from her make up that she'd just come from some work thing. But despite the make up, her face looked drawn and he didn't know if it was the baggy t-shirt she was donning but she looked impossibly skinnier too.

She slowly edged away from the door and a part of him wanted to shout out and stop her coming any nearer because this morning had been hard, harder than he could ever have anticipated. He didn't like the words that had transpired between them and he certainly didn't understand why she was back after telling him to stay away. If she wanted a round two he definitely wasn't up for it.

She hesitated before moving toward his bookshelves. He watched her dainty hand run over the books that lined the shelves.

'How're you feeling?' Her voice was gentle. Calm. There was something completely different about her.

'Why're you here?' He wondered.

Although he had a pretty good idea of why.

She looked up at him then and he could see why. Loud and clear.

She knew. Her body language alone told him that. He had a pretty good idea of how she'd gotten here, how she'd found out. Two words. Brooke Davis. He gritted his teeth in aggravation, he'd asked one thing of her and she couldn't keep her god damn mouth shut. Not that he was surprised, he was actually surprised she'd lasted as long as she had. She didn't exactly have the best track record with keeping secrets. Gift of the gab didn't exactly entail her to be discreet.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because it's none of your business'

Peyton blinked in his direction, green eyes wide.

He watched hurt rupture her intense gaze and felt a pang in his stomach.

She shook her head slowly and opened and closed her mouth. She didn't know how to respond because at the back of her mind there had always been this feeling that all would work itself out. That he'd get a new heart and stop trying to be the stoic hero and take her back and this would all be resolved and they'd laugh about it later but that was most certainly not the case. He'd not told her and she could see it all so clearly now. He wasn't interested. That much was painfully clear.

'I'm sorry' She backed up, side stepping awkwardly along the shelving. 'I just, I needed to see you were okay with my own eyes' She swallowed back the lump rising in the back of her throat. Being in the same room with him was suddenly too much. This was all too much. There was so much she wanted to say but she could see it didn't matter. Not to him anyway. 'I shouldn't have come' He didn't want her here. He didn't need her. 'I'm sorry' She shook her head constantly. 'I won't come again' She needed to get out and her feet obliged in getting her to the door quickly. She felt like she was being suffocated. She needed to get out because it had finally sunk in. That it was really, really over. That he didn't want her. It was nothing to do with his heart. She'd got it all wrong. He wasn't trying to protect her. He didn't love her. They were well and truly over.


	23. And then she was gone

Her hand wrapped incessantly against the door.

Nothing was going fast enough.

The traffic had been moving too slowly. The revolving doors had spun at a tormenting rate. The elevator had taken forever and now he was taking too long to open the door.

She didn't know why there was such urgency, well perhaps she did, perhaps it was because she feared if she was left waiting much longer she'd change her mind. She'd been futilely trying to stop thinking about Lucas for the last five hours and nothing was making much sense round about now. She was acting brashly. She was making choices without thought.

She'd been home. She'd booked a one way ticket flight out of JFK for eleven pm the following night. She'd changed into a black dress with a low back and now she was here.

He opened the door and before he could even comprehend her standing before him she was blurting 'You were right'.

'I generally am. About what?' His voice was as suave as ever but his brow raised; the last person he'd expected was her and he was instantly confused by her unannounced visit. Why shouldn't he be after all?

'It, it doesn't exist' She stated, pushing past him and waltzing into his lavish pent house. 'Soul mates. Love. I was wrong. I was stupid. I was so fucking stupid. I'm fucking... oh' She trailed off, coming to a halt. There was a hum of talk in the open space before her, a small gathering of guys and scantily clad girls. 'You, you've got company' She turned swiftly in the direction of the exit because this was stupid, she didn't know what she was doing but now they had an audience and she wanted to get out.

'Hey' His hand darted out, grabbing her arm to prevent her premature departure. 'It's alright, come through here, we can talk' He didn't release her arm until they were in his study.

She'd never liked this room. There was a big, black leather chair and a glass desk centred in the middle with a pretentious crystal statue sitting to the left. Everything about it screamed power.

'I was just celebrating with a client- we won a case' She noted his suit, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top, his tie hanging loose. 'Baby not that I'm complaining but why're you here exact-'

'You wanted me?' She asked, cutting into his sentence.

She felt unwanted, irrelevant, insignificant, powerless, worthless, her mind a nonsensical mess. Lucas Scott had made her feel that, but _he, _he could take that away, he could put her right.

One of his eyebrows quirked. 'You made it very clear that, that wasn't going to happen' He smiled shamelessly because her visit had quickly become interesting. He had a one track mind and her jittery form didn't concern him. Her mental state wasn't something that crossed his mind because she was Peyton and Peyton he understood. Peyton was like him. Peyton didn't let anyone walk all over her, she didn't let anyone close enough for that, she didn't let anyone in. She took, she didn't give.

'Yes' She swallowed. 'But, things are different now aren't they?'

'I knew you'd see sense eventually' Yearning had long since addled him ignorant to any inner turmoil she may be going through. He couldn't believe that she had changed. She hadn't changed.

He took a step forward, closing the unnecessary gap between them and she reached for his face.

He smiled; he'd fantasised about this for a long time and his delight was evident. She didn't smile back.

'Do you know how long... how fucking agonizing it is watching you go home with other guys and I don't get to touch?'

'Well, you can touch now'

His hands found her hips, jerking her close and she expected his mouth to cover her own almost instantly. But it didn't, he held her chin and took a moment to inspect her features. Her hair was still straight from that morning's photo shoot and pulled back tight in a sleek pony tail and her make up was immaculate with dark, seductive eyes.

He was taking too long so she was forced to take things into her own hands. She pressed her lips to his and he reciprocated instantaneously. Her fingers coasted round his neck, tugging him closer, her desire to feel something, anything caused her to be rough and assertive in her desperation and for a moment it actually felt good, really good.

He walked her back, hands swooping greedily over her backside and then she was lifted onto the desk edge and he was pulling the straps of her little back dress down.

And that's when it stopped being okay because they were suddenly looking at each other and she was wishing she was anywhere but there.

Because it wasn't Lucas' eyes that were on her, blue and loving. He wasn't looking at _her_ as such, his dark eyes were mapping out her body. His hand moved between her thighs, fingers pressed against her, rubbing roughly.

All she could think was that it wasn't Lucas' hand. Lucas' mouth. Lucas' touch. Lucas. Lucas. Lucas.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the side of the glass desk, her clammy hands struggling to grasp the shiny surface.

She'd kissed many another guy in front of him. She'd came back to his after a night out, she'd let him watch her change and then she'd clambered into bed and he'd laid beside her but he'd never touched. She'd rubbed her lips together and he'd flirted with her. She'd shared things about her sex life with him because they were friends and that's what friends did. She'd always cherished that, that he respected their friendship. She'd always loved that he'd never tried anything.

Only he'd wanted to fuck her too. He was like everyone else. He'd gone and fucked things up. She'd lost him as a friend.

He didn't find it fair that everyone else got to touch. It wasn't fair. But now he was getting what he'd wanted for so long, he was going to fuck Peyton Wolf.

She stiffened as his hands glided over her. 'Relax babe' He murmured seductively, pushing her back onto the glass surface with a gleeful smirk.

'I am' She bought her legs up and around him to prove so, to him or herself she wasn't quite certain and then he was kissing her again and she couldn't keep up and she hated him and she hated the way his tongue was darting in and out of her mouth in a crude reenactment of what his fingers were attempting beneath her dress.

She felt dizzy and not in a good way and she could only take so much before she was pushing against his chest.

Realisation hit her fast and heavy.

She didn't want this.

She couldn't physically do this.

She might have been wrong in thinking Lucas Scott loved her, but she hadn't been wrong in thinking she'd been in love with him.

She had been, she still was and doing this wasn't helping.

She'd already slept with a handful of other guys and it hadn't helped. Not once.

She didn't know why she'd come here thinking this would. Perhaps it was because she thought it would upset Lucas the most.

He'd stood up now and taken a little step back to give her some room but it quickly became apparent that she wasn't sitting upright to take an item of clothing off.

'What's wrong?'

She swallowed and slid her legs around the table to distant herself somewhat. She hated this man. She hated him.

'I...sorry, I just, I can't'

'Funny' He reached for her.

'No' She stood, fingers pulling the strap of her dress over her right arm.

'What the fuck Peyton?'

'I can't. I changed my mind, I thought...I can't'

'Like hell you can't' His harsh tone halted her from pulling the remaining strap over her opposite arm. His desire was quick to merge with frustration and his fingers ensnared her slender shoulders, audaciously slamming her back into the nearest wall, his lust ridden eyes quickly morphing into anger.

'Felix' The air left her lungs in a breathless gasp.

Her body was no longer compliant, instead stiff in anticipation of a fight.

'You came here for this' He brazenly pointed out.

'I know, but, I was wrong, I thought I could but I can't' Her hands splayed out against his broad chest to push him away but he stayed still and she found herself trapped.

'Yes you can'

She pushed against him and felt his finger snag on her tights in his rough haste to try and get her underwear down and a ladder was quick to run down the length of her thigh.

Panic instantly arose. This was a game of cat and mouse.

She'd felt verbally restrained before but never physically. She'd always had the weapon of her voice but Felix wasn't listening.

No one had ever held her down before.

It was both disorientating and imprisoning. She knew this man. She knew the way he thought. She'd known him for the best part of her life. She'd entrusted in him. She'd thought she knew him. Only this person was a stranger.

'Stop. Please, I didn't mean, mean to lead you on-'

'You meant to alright. Thought you'd get your own back for what happened? You're Mum fucking deserves everything that's coming to her'

She went from feeling guilty and awful to mad in the space of a second. Her hand sliced through the air, slapping loudly against his cheek.

Her eyes widened and she half expected him to retaliate. 'This has got nothing to do with that Felix. Just let me by'

He didn't hit her back nor let her by, he effortlessly forced her arm back against the wall instead and laughed and fear began to shiver through her body.

'You came here cause you wanted this and you're going to quit fighting me aren't you?' His voice chortled in her ear.

She swallowed thickly as he pressed his lower half against her.

'I don't like being toyed with baby'

She closed her eyes tight. She was in shock and it rendered her motionless for a good while, complying with his demand, allowing him to touch her but when his voice drummed through her, gruffly murmuring 'Good girl' against her cheek she snapped out of her paralysed state. Those two little words made her realise that she was playing the part of the victim and if she didn't do anything, try something to get herself out of this situation she'd never forgive herself.

He hiked her dress up and she didn't fight it.

Pushing and struggling within his hold was pointless. He was stronger.

His forehead pressed into hers and she forced herself not to try and turn her head away and instead play the part because she needed him to stay distracted as her hand reached out, trying to grapple for anything that could save her from this. From him.

He roughly jerked her leg up over his hip and smiled lewdly at her gasp. 'You like that baby?'

She bit her lip and some how managed to force her mouth to smile as blindly, her fingers gained purchase on the statue upon his desk, gripping tightly.

Elation over the small success surged her on. It was hard to hold but with adrenaline pumping through her she managed to lift the item into the air.

His thumb freed her lip from her teeth and then his tongue crudely traced a path across her bottom lip, his lower half grinding against her.

It was then or never.

With her eyes closed tight she let go.

The glass splintered against his head and then crashed to the floor with an almighty smash that had him stumbling back away from her in shock. 'What the fuck Peyton?'

It wasn't bad. Definitely not life threatening. It had done as desired, broken through his frenzied state and left a trail of blood forming from the crown of his head.

She backed up toward the door, her heart racing in her chest in relief. 'I, I said stop' She whispered.

He stood slouched against the wall, hand clasping at his wound.

'I'm sorry' She didn't rightly know why she was apologising, sure she'd come in here indicating that she wanted sex but she'd changed her mind and sure it probably wasn't fair to him but she'd said no and he'd held her against that wall and for a moment she'd thought she were completely helpless.

'That was worth two hundred grand' His teeth gritted together and her feet quickly carried her backwards and from the room, fearing that if she lingered any longer he was going to charge at her.

She ran. Didn't stop running and his voice growled loudly in her wake.

'This isn't over Peyton!'

* * *

The characters spilled onto the blank page document, his fingers relentless in their haste to get every word down.

He'd had this feeling before.

It was the writer in him setting free.

It came in bursts.

There could be days, weeks or months and then it would happen.

The words would come, they always came in torrents, unyielding in his mind.

Hours would speed by without his knowledge. Day would turn to night. Night to day. Light to dark.

And when he could no longer keep his lids open, his head would droop forward onto the desk. The cursor blinking in it's wait for more.

Only this was different. The words he was writing were not inspired by his experiences, they weren't inspired by his childhood, his high school years, the death of a loved one. They were inspired solely by one thing, or more specifically, one person.

The words that were coming relentlessly were all in dedication to Peyton Wolf.

* * *

It was late.

The evening had gone from going too slowly to being gone in the blink of an eye.

She placed her purse on the sideboard. She was shaken but felt foolish and accountable for what had just happened.

'Thank god where've you been?'

Peyton jumped, her eyes jerking to the source of the voice.

'Brooke! What're you...how did you get in here?'

'I persuaded that guy on the lifts to help me out'

'He just let you in?' Peyton blinked.

'Oh please, I hardly look like a psycho murderer' Brooke dismissed. 'Did you go see him? You went to see him right? What happened? Are you, are you back-'

Peyton shook her jumbled head quickly. No they were most definitely not back together.

'You didn't go see him?'

'No I did go see him. We're not together' She answered bleakly.

'Oh' Brooke ran her hand through her hair. She'd been so certain things would be worked out and was finding this whole situation so infuriating. She watched Peyton slip her heels off and then her eyes scanned the rest of the blonde's attire. 'Why're you dressed like that?' The interfering brunette neared Peyton and as she shied away but Brooke's meddlesome hands couldn't be escaped, they quickly noted the torn fabric near the left hand strap of her dress and her face was quick to express concern. 'What happened?'

Peyton rubbed the bottoms of her tired feet and sighed.

'Peyton?'

'You know I wish you hadn't come here- you can't just break and enter-'

'Don't change the subject' Brooke grabbed her arm tightly to stop her from retreating but all Peyton could think was that it was nothing in comparison to Felix's vice like hold. She easily shrugged her off. 'You better start speaking because-'

'Don't get dramatic Brooke' Peyton groaned, walking out of the kitchen and into the living area, Brooke hot on her heels. She dropped into the nearest chair, relishing in it's comfort but she couldn't relax, not with her worried friend's eyes burning into her relentlessly. 'I went to see Felix' She eventually confided quietly.

'What?' Brooke's eyes grew wide. She didn't understand, couldn't possibly fathom the blonde's words. 'You went to see that scumbag? Felix Taggero? The guy that tried to bribe you? I...Why?' Brooke's riled voice grew high pitch.

'Because! He wanted me Brooke, he wanted me. He wants me. Even if it's just to fuck. I, I wanted someone who wanted me!' She exclaimed. '...but then I, I changed my mind. It felt wrong. It, he wasn't Luke. It doesn't matter how many people I sleep with it's never Luke and I, I just couldn't do it and then he got mad'

'No surprises there' Brooke murmured, closing her eyes in despair. 'What happened?' She dared to ask. 'He hurt you?'

'He got a little physical' Peyton nodded, she could feel tears gathering in her eyes but she wouldn't cry. 'I hit him over the head with a two hundred thousand dollar glass ornament'

Brooke smiled and then laughed. Laughed hard. 'That's my girl'

'It's not funny! I could've fucking killed him!'

'If only you had'

'He had a right to be mad, I don't blame hi-'

'The guy's an ass Peyton. It doesn't matter if you led him on, you say no, it means no' Brooke moved, joining her on the leather seating. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah I, I'm fine'

'Just stay away from him, please. You make me worry enough as it is without putting yourself near that crazed psycho'

Peyton smiled with watery eyes, slouching into her friend's arms. 'I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm such a mess right now Brooke' She admitted softly.

'I know honey, but things, they will get better. I know it'

She nodded half heartedly and then out of no where she muttered- 'I think I need to go away'

Brooke stopped stroking her hand through Peyton's blonde hair, her ears waiting for her to elaborate.

'I, I can't be here, in this place anymore. I thought. I thought that if he was alright, that when he got a new heart, he'd come back to me'

Brooke held her hand.

'I thought maybe deep down, everything he'd said was just his way of protecting me. I thought maybe he'd still want me but he...he doesn't. It's really, really over'

'Honey'

'He didn't even tell me Brooke- I was with him this morning and he didn't even mention it'

'Sweetie- he was with you last night- no doubt went searching for you and he'd been out of hospital for little under forty eight hours- you think he'd do that if he didn't love you? He's just scared. He doesn't feel like he's out of the woods just yet. You have to give him time'

Peyton sat upright, her eyes finding Brooke's sincere and hopeful gaze. She wished she could find it within herself to believe that. That in time things would change. 'I don't think it's like that, I think it's over...for him anyhow' Her stare skittered across the room because she was on the verge of crying again, her watery eyes of green landing on a framed image of her mother. 'My Mum, believe it or not taught me something yesterday'

Brooke's brow furrowed, non understanding.

'The most perfect act of love is sacrifice' She swallowed thickly. 'She wasn't strong enough to sacrifice what she wanted, for me'

Brooke didn't follow but she squeezed the blonde's hand tightly.

'It doesn't mean she loves me any less she just...she wasn't strong enough. I want to be strong enough' She blinked back the tears that were blurring her vision. 'I love Lucas. And I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes and it, it's been horrible being without him, it's like hell but if, if what he wants is for me to let go then I'm gonna do it. I need him to be happy. I want that with all my heart'

'Peyton' Brooke shook her head bewilderedly.

'Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to to make someone else happy right?'

Brooke nodded mutely.

'I have to go away. I'm a mess. But I don't want to be, not any more'

* * *

'Okay enough. Stop' Karen stood in the doorway of his room, hand on hip, her voice stern. She'd not held that tone with him for a long time and it took him off guard.

She'd only been there for little under six hours and she was already getting underneath his feet. He just wanted to be alone.

'While it makes me so proud to see you back writing with such passion I will not stand back and watch you die of starvation' She berates.

'Mum-'

'No buts Lucas Eugene Scott. You're going to come out of this room and you're going to come eat the lunch I've made you' He begrudgingly got to his feet with a defeated sigh and followed her whilst she carried on with her rant. 'You've been out of hospital for less than three days. You need to learn to take it easy and relax. I'm not leaving here until I'm completely certain you're fine'

'I am fine' He protested, sitting down at the table. 'Besides you've got a little kid at home that needs you far more than me'

'Lily is just fine with Haley and Nathan for a while' Karen quickly dismissed.

Lucas ignored her staring eyes, shovelling the pasta bake into his mouth, eager to return to his lap top.

'Honey' Karen sat down beside him, her hand covering his and stopping another forkful of food going into his mouth. 'Honey I've not said a single thing about this because I don't like to interfere-'

'Then don't' He looked up with pleading eyes.

'But I feel like I need to. What're you doing? You love this girl; she loves you. What more is there to it?'

'Mum please-'

'No Luke. I spent a long, long time denying my feelings for Keith. I denied them because I didn't want to get hurt, I didn't want you to get hurt, I wanted only the best for him and at the end of the day all I was doing was hurting him and myself. Don't you see that's what you're doing here? You've got her best interests at heart but you're harming her and yourself' Karen held his hands with desperation, pleading with him to see sense. 'Sweetie, when I think of all the time me and Keith could have had, all the time we wasted' She blinks. 'Don't make the same mistake I did Luke, life's too short. It's too short'

* * *

'Luke' Brooke's eyes skittered over him, surprised to find him waiting outside her apartment.

'Aren't you going to ask me in?' He mumbled.

'Sorry, yeah' She opened the door for them both and he slinked inside behind her, hands in pockets, shoulders hunched.

'Is everything okay?'

'No, well yes, physically I'm fine'

'Sit' She put her bag down and ordered him into a chair, she didn't care if the Doctors seemed to have okayed him, she still needed him seated and taking it slow.

'You've not been answering your phone'

'No, sorry. I was...out'

He nodded slowly.

'With Peyton?'

'What's it to you?.. Besides you were with her yourself the other night huh?' She eventually plucked up the courage to have the conversation she knew they were both so idly avoiding. It was inevitable though.

'I was just checking up on her-'

'You'd been out of hospital for less than twenty four hours and you go Peyton stalking- you ended it with her'

'If I hadn't been there god knows what she would've got up to. I just wanted to get her to see what she's doing to herself?'

Brooke crossed her arms. She was angry because he just didn't seem to get it and she was sick of seeing them both hurting. As the brunette had predicted and warned, Peyton was defenceless to it. In a way she wasn't surprised by the recklessness that had become the blonde model. It was in her genes, it was the only way she knew how to deal. She wanted to feel something, anything other than the mind numbing heart ache. She wanted to be wanted by someone because Lucas had made her feel unwanted.

'She came by yours yesterday afternoon, I know that. What did you guys say?' She demanded loudly.

'Nothing' His brow furrowed. 'I don't know why you're yelling at me. It should be the other way round. I told you not to tell her. I asked you to do one thing but I was stupid to think maybe you could follow through for once.'

'Don't you dare go there Lucas Eugene Scott. Don't blame me for any of your actions-'

'Look I, I'm not. I'm sorry. I came here because I'm looking for her. I...my Mum got here this morning, we've been talking' He runs his hand through his hair. 'I need to sort this out, I need to get her back Brooke. I can't be happy without her...'

Brooke stopped making him a drink, her fingers pausing in trying to get two ice cubes out of the rubber holder.

'What?' He stared back into her wide brown eyes, so serious and concerned.

'Luke she, she's...she's left'

His eyebrows furrowed over his squinting eyes, his forehead creased and his lips thinned as he tried to comprehend what had just been said.

'What?'

'She, she's gone to Europe' Brooke moved around the kitchen island, hand reaching for him but he was quick to move way, head shaking adamantly.

'What?' His face had blanched significantly in the last thirty seconds and it left Brooke feeling fretful over his health.

'It's a good thing Luke. She's never going to get over this if she's here. She needs to go find herself which means she needs to alienate herself from everything that resembles the Peyton Wolf she's played the part of since she was fifteen' Her words rambled as she tried to reassure him.

'And that means getting away from me too right?'

'It means getting over everything that's happened' Brooke corrected. 'You hurt her Luke, there's no denying that. But, she loves you, I know that much. She needs you. But she also needs to find herself because she can't depend on you. It's not the end. It's just, it's a new start. When she gets back, maybe you two can just be, finally, but I think this will be good for her' She didn't know who she was trying to convince more, him or herself because she'd never felt more frustrated, he'd finally come to her senses but it was too late.

'Not the end' Lucas murmured.

'No'

Then why did it feel like it was.


	24. When Sorry isn't Enough

**A/N** I know. I'm awful. Apologies.

She'd never made it through New York unnoticed, unrecognised as she had right now and she loved it.

Being out of the country and out of the limelight for over four months had meant that she wasn't at the centre of celebrity gossip. She figured her time was probably numbered; she didn't know if once the paparazzi were alerted to her return that the attention on her would also return with an unrelenting force but she was determined. Determined to stay under the radar.

She felt like an entirely different person as she got out of the yellow taxi. She felt normal. She didn't usually do this- she only got in private cars because things quickly escalated when being pursued by incessant cameras.

It was invigorating to do these little things unseen for once, invigorating knowing that she was going to make it into her friend's building completely undetected.

She'd barely knocked on the apartment door when it tore open. 'Ahhhhhh' Brooke shrieked. 'God you're home, you're home, you're home' She buzzed.

Peyton laughed into the brunette's ear as she was embraced tightly.

'I never thought I'd say this but I missed Peyton Wolf. I missed you so much'

Peyton smiled at her words, at the familiarity of her husky voice . She was touched, but more than anything relieved because she'd missed Brooke Davis too, she'd never had this attachment to a friend, never had a friend to be missed and she'd worried that her sudden departure would have changed things but being back in the same room as the bubbly designer had her hoping that no matter what, perhaps she'd always have Brooke in her life.

'I missed you too Miss Davis'

'You better had. Come in, come in' She dragged the smiley blonde through the door.

Peyton's eyes widened as she took in the chaos that confronted them; waterfalls of material cascaded over every surface.

'Jesus'

'Oh yeah, ignore the mess. I've just been a little carried away with the new line'

'I can see'

'Come. Come sit' Brooke insisted, tugging her down onto a sofa. Realms of champagne coloured satin rippled around her. 'Tell me all. You look different. Good different. Pretty wonderful different and that smile, that smile looks good on you girly'

Peyton laughed again at her none stop babbling.

'It...it feels kinda good'

Brooke continued to spew words at a fast rate, filling the blonde in on the trivial things she'd missed, carefully tip toeing around the subject of a certain blue eyed boy and then she was eagerly listening to all the things Peyton had been up to.

'It was so nice to be able to walk down the street, for no one to know my name. Anonymity is something everyone tends to take for granted'

'Oh honey'

'Being away. Being where people don't know me, or even if they did recognise me they didn't approach me- I want that always. I don't want the life I had before'

'You've not been in the news at all the last couple of months. At first it was everywhere- speculation on where you'd disappeared to but now, recently there's been nothing'

'And I want it to stay that way'

'It can. It will if you want it...I was thinking...as much as it's going to be sad to see you're sorry ass go, I think I'm going to have to let you go Peyton Wolf. You're just too much trouble for my company' She shrugged with a teasing smile.

'You mean it? My contract-'

'I already let you disappear for four months'

'And I feel really bad that I let you down-'

Brooke snorted. 'Honey you didn't let me down. I put the people in my life before my career. If you want this. If you want to quit modelling I'm all for it'

Peyton suddenly found herself overwhelmed and contemplating fate, something she'd never held much superstition in. She'd been so consumed by Lucas that she'd failed to see what she did have around her. Her head had been stuck in the clouds but she could see now. She'd seen the bad, always the bad, she'd wished she'd never met him, she'd wished she'd never had a single moment with him. But as she stared at Brooke she realised the good; she'd gained a true friend, a friend that had taught her so much, that was encouraging her to take a leap of faith and spread her wings.

She smiled. 'I'm not sure what I want to do, but I know I don't want to model anymore'

'Well that's a start. You'll figure it out, we'll figure it out' Brooke grinned supportively, squeezing her hand and Peyton's eyes welled. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing...it's just, you, you really are a great friend Brooke Davis'

Brooke rolled her eyes. 'Okay who are you and what did you do with Peyton Wolf?'

'She's still here...I just wanted you to...to know how grateful I am. I know I'm not easy'

'Honey. Don't thank me. No need to. What're friends for?' She stood suddenly, eager to lighten the mood. 'I know, lets find you something to wear for tomorrow'

'Tomorrow?'

'Party for the launch of my new line'

'Oh Brooke I don't know if I feel-'

'Pleaaaseee'

Brown pleading eyes had her quickly caving.

'I have the perfect dress! Come. Come'

* * *

Peyton had known it wouldn't be easy but knew it was inevitable that she'd have to see him at some point, but she'd not been counting on tonight being that night. She'd been relying on him being _out of sight, out of mind_ and she didn't feel ready, nor prepared.

Through the crowd of people gathered at the bar, her stare zoned in on one person, catching a glimpse of dark, dirty blonde hair, a flash of blue eyes.

A thrill of delight surged through her upon realising it was Lucas but with that thrill also came distress.

She stared.

A knot tightened in her stomach and her feet suddenly felt as though they were anchored to the floor.

She didn't know if it was because she'd abstained from sex for the last five months, but in that moment she was sure she'd never find any other man sexier than Lucas Scott. Her legs felt like jello.

There was a scruff of hair on his face that hadn't been there when she'd last seen him and she liked it. Liked it a lot.

Despite the suffering and misery that he'd been at the centre of, she was certain she'd never be able to hate Lucas Scott. Sure she wanted to, tried to a whole lot but she'd realised one of many things in her time away, one being that harbouring so much animosity wasn't healthy nor practical in her pursuit for happiness and contentment. But it was so hard to remember everything that had come to light during her break because seeing him so close, with his charcoal grey trousers accenting the length of his legs and his torso looking lean as ever in a steely blue sweater, only sent her into a rupture of longing.

His head was bent slightly as he listened to what Julian was saying to him, but as words transpired between them he lifted his head slightly, and his eyes met hers.

Her whole body burned. Flooded with warmth and yet a shiver ran down the back of her spine and her eyes quickly averted to the floor. She could feel his hands on her; smoothing down the curve of her back, kissing that spot on the back of her neck.

Unbeknown to her, Brooke approached and silently took her hand and she'd never been more glad because she couldn't do this by herself and she feared she must look awfully stupid just standing there.

She wasn't so glad when all of a sudden she was standing directly before the person that had her in such a quandary.

She swallowed thickly and hesitantly looked up again, simultaneously tightening her sweaty grip on Brooke's hand.

She was subconsciously aware of the words coming from her friends mouth, of Julian's deeper greeting but she couldn't seem to fathom any words herself.

Regardless of the emotional roller coaster she'd been on in the last few months, there was, she realised then, nothing in comparison to the agony she felt, standing there before him, knowing how much she wanted him, wishing that he wanted her.

Her hand was suddenly cold and then she realised that they'd been left alone.

She swallowed again and then she forced her lips to move. 'Hey'

Lucas didn't say anything. He just stood there, in silence, in complete shock, mirroring her expression from just minutes ago when she'd first clocked him, only he hadn't had the time to gaze at her from afar. Wasn't given those few moments she'd had to try and collect herself.

When she'd left, it hadn't mattered that he'd had friends around him, that he'd had his family, he'd never felt so completely, utterly, helplessly alone.

He hadn't been able to bring himself to confide in anyone. Hadn't felt like he'd had the right to be feeling the way he had when he was the sole cause for the departure of Peyton Wolf.

He'd wanted to call her. Wanted to fly after her. Wanted to just explain. Wanted to apologise. But he hadn't. Hadn't done any of those things because Brooke had seemed so sure that space was what Peyton needed; that she needed to find who she was without him and god did he want the best for her. He'd already harmed her enough. He couldn't handle being the reason for anymore of her self destructive behaviour.

'Hey...wow...I...it's you' He gave her a lopsided smile that she awkwardly returned and nodded once in confirmation. It was her. 'It's good to see you' Lucas blurted suddenly. She looked good. Really good. The black dress she was wearing emphasised the length of her legs and Lucas almost had to lick his lips. Her sun kissed skin was glowing and her eyes sparkling. She looked healthy. 'You look good' He cringed slightly at his abrupt declaration.

She smiled back sheepishly, feeling flustered by his words, her hand fluttering up toward her neck as she felt a crimson blush appear. 'Thanks' She looked down. 'You've been doing well? I heard Ravens is premiering next week' She muttered, searching for anything to say. Anything to fill the giant void between them.

He nodded. 'Yeah, you'll come won't you?'

'Well Brooke has had a dress made specifically for it since before pre production so I guess I'll have to' She agreed.

He was thankful for the little smile at her lips otherwise he'd have taken her words to mean she didn't want to attend.

His eyes narrowed as he surveyed her form. Surveyed the way she was holding herself. 'You seem better' He decided softly.

She smiled, self consciously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She wanted him to note the change in her because she felt so different inside. She was different; she was unsure of herself but happy in her own skin and she was pretty certain she'd not ever been able to say that. 'You mean I'm not sticking my tongue down some strangers throat?'

He laughed. 'Yeah that too'

'I'm...I'm sorry about all that'

The jest disappeared and his smile faded.

'I know it, it can't have been easy for you to see that, I mean I know you were the one to end us but to know that I was doing that after we'd barely broken up' She swallowed. 'I mean, had you been... I...' She shook her head, trailing off.

'I haven't been...with anyone'

Her eyes jerked up from her hands. She'd not been asking that. She didn't need to know that, didn't want to, but she couldn't ignore the relief that washed over her nor the unpleasant feeling of guilt. He'd not been with anyone this whole time whereas she had and she suddenly felt the need to explain herself.

'I don't know why I, why I...' She frowned in contemplation. 'I wanted to punish you and I wanted back what I was before I met you. Before you, I fucked who I wanted, whenever I wanted and it was good. It was easy. It felt good and it was just sex and then you screwed that up because you made sex not just sex' She took a shaky breath. 'Being, being with other people didn't help' She whispered. 'It didn't make me feel, I just felt numb.' She blinked. _It wasn't you_ is what she thought but she didn't dare say that. 'I'm sorry. That was all really inappropriate' She grimaced as her stare returned to him; his face had twisted, his eyes dark. He was no longer looking at her, but at some point behind her, as though he couldn't even bear to see her for a moment longer, as though he were repulsed by her presence. Peyton's stomach rolled unpleasantly; she was starting to wish she hadn't come here tonight. 'I'm sorry.' she repeated, her voice so low that he barely heard it over the hum of noise around them. 'I didn't know you'd be here. Otherwise I…I...'

'Wouldn't have come?' Lucas finished for her. Neither of them looked at each other, instead gazing at their surroundings. 'Don't say that, Peyton. You have every right to be here, she's your friend too. Besides you probably know all these people. I don't'

She glanced around. 'I'm pretty sure she doesn't know half the people here and I definitely don't.'

He tilted his head and looked at her with curious eyes, his hand unconsciously reaching out to touch her arm but he quickly withdrew it upon contact as she seemed to flinch at his touch, causing him to wonder just how uncomfortable she really was being in his company.

He didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

'I could go-' he began, but she shook her head adamantly.

'God, no. No I didn't ask-'

'I know you didn't but this is Brooke's night, she wants you here-'

'She wants us both here. Look it's fine Luke. I'm sorry I've made this so weird. Lets just...I'll go this way, you go that way' Her hands flailed around before her and just like that, without another word she was walking away.

And he was left, standing bewildered. He wanted to talk. Wanted to say many things but here, tonight was not the place. He only wished Brooke had given him a little heads up that she'd returned. His eyes followed her. Brooke had been right about one thing though; getting away by herself had been good for her, he was grateful that she seemed to be so much better in herself and only hoped that now that she was back he'd be able to resolve their broken relationship and put right all the wrongs he'd made.

* * *

In the space of a few minutes she'd shattered into a million little pieces.

She'd been in this bar many a time and and easily navigated her way through the realms of people, slipping behind a curtain unnoticed into one of the unused VIP back rooms, all the while struggling to control her trembling lip.

Her hands twitched at her sides. She'd been so close to him and her fingers had strained to reach out for him, strained for the the completeness that she felt whenever she was in his arms.

She fort her body's desires, fort it with the logic and rationality that had brought her back from the brink of despair; He'd left her. He'd hurt her. She'd mistrusted him. He didn't deserve her.

The tears that had long since welled, finally broke free and flooded down her face. She stumbled sightlessly in the dim room, desperate to find some seat before she fell, anxious not to be seen by anyone in such a state.

She realised now that she could be away for however long and this would always be hard. Being near him. There'd always be a dull ache. Sure it had lessened with time but it would always be there. She'd had to walk away, knowing if she hadn't that all the willpower and strength she'd developed would have dissolved in her need to be with him. She was certain she'd been just moments from turning into a grovelling mess and she didn't want to do that to him. He didn't want her, it was as simple as that and he certainly didn't need to be made to feel guilty of his own feelings.

She dropped into one of the desolate, leather seats with a heavy exhale, her head spinning as she struggled with the internal battle she'd been fighting since the day he'd ended them. She hated that her body still wanted him, despite all the anger, pain and hate he instilled in her.

'P-Peyton Wolf?'

Her head jolted upright from her hands to see a girl staring at her through bleary eyes.

She'd come back here hoping to gather herself for a few moments because she couldn't carry on pretending she was fine any longer. However she'd not noted that the small private space was already occupied; she contemplated the girl before her.

Peyton recognised that look; she was so drugged up she could barely see straight.

Uneasiness filled her and she was instantly distracted from her thoughts on Lucas.

She felt as though she were looking in a mirror; this girl was her. This was her at sixteen and she felt a yearning to go back and make right all the wrong choices she'd made back then.

She couldn't though.

But she could stop this girl from making the same choices she had. She wouldn't sit back and allow this to happen. She wouldn't stand by and let this poor girl drown. She'd needed someone to save her and no one had come. It had been too late for her but it wasn't for this girl.

She wiped away the tears that had settled on her cheeks and shifted over to the seat opposite. 'Honey are you okay?' She sat beside her, a tentative hand reaching out. She recognised this kid from last seasons fashion week. Her face had been splashed everywhere as the up and coming next big thing.

Her long dark hair fell down around and past her shoulders, shimmering in the half light. She was beautiful. Her slender legs were curled up beneath her, one patent black heel on, the other abandoned on the floor. Her crimson dress was crumpled up around her and all Peyton could think was that she shouldn't be wearing any of this shit, that she looked completely beyond her years, that she shouldn't be here, that she should be fooling around with kids her own age.

'I...I don't feel...good'

'Listen, why don't I get you some water and then I'll get you home okay?' She slid her jacket off and draped it over the girls bare legs in some effort to protect her virtue, to hide her from this world, to shield her from all the evil.

Her brow furrowed in concern as she didn't get a response.

'Okay...new plan, I'll go find Brooke to help while you stay here' She murmured to herself, thankful to see the steady rise and fall of the young girl's chest that signified her breathing.

'So the princess has finally returned to tinseltown' His voice was smarmy and husky with years of smoking and inflicted an array of not so pleasant feelings to seize her.

Peyton jumped.

Reluctantly she lifted her head. His face bought about distant memories that she didn't like to think of. 'What're you doing here?'

'I was invited Peyton darling' He chuckled at her startled expression. 'What're you doing back here? Did you need something?'

Peyton pulled the blinking girl up to sitting. She knew what was going on here and it made her blood run cold. 'Oh no, we're quite fine thank you, _Carl_' She answered sweetly. 'We're actually just leaving' Her eyes were dark and daring and resilient.

She watched his jaw clench and his chin jut out in outrage. 'Why so cold? I've not seen you in too long darling'

She snorted in disbelief while persistently squeezing the younger girl's hand in a futile attempt to stir her from her state, fearing she wasn't strong enough to haul her dead weight up to to standing.

She was furious at his disregard for anyone, mad because he was so calculating and so many years had passed but he clearly hadn't changed one bit.

'How dare you?' Her temper was at boiling point. She wasn't the little naive teenage girl that he'd made into a star. She wasn't as impressionable anymore. She had a voice and she was angry and he was about to know it. 'Who gave you the God given right to manipulate young girls? To drug them up and blackmail them into fucking you? How do you think that's okay? Huh? Why? Why me? Why her?' Fury raged on deep inside of her. 'I won't let you hurt her' She growled, simultaneously sliding her hand around the girls waist.

A warning escaped his mouth. 'Peyton. Don't be stupid.' His tone teetered on the edge, his whole demeanour had gone from calm and poised to at the brink of battle. 'Aurora stays here'

'No. No she doesn't. She's coming with me. Honey, come on' She stood, using all her strength to help the unstable brunette to standing. Her feet sounded loudly against the hard floor, dragging under her shaky limbs as she slouched against Peyton.

'Darling-'

'Don't call me that' Instinctively, her hands flew up, violently gesturing for him to keep at bay. Boiling rage fortified her nerves. 'I won't let you hurt her' Her steely tone broke as she grew frantic in her desire to leave.

He paused as she stared at him. He was extremely accomplished and attractive, deceivingly so, he had everyone wrapped around his little finger. But Peyton saw through it all now. She wasn't fooled. She'd been one of his little conquests and this young girl was just another of his future conquests.

'She's here voluntarily just as you were' His voice taunted suddenly.

'There was nothing voluntary about our relationship. You were the puppet master and I was your puppet'

He laughed. 'Oh come now, don't be dramatic'

'Theatrics are your thing not mine. You're the one that creates these fucked up scenes and allures some poor defenceless girl to follow your every command. They're underage. It was illegal then and it's illegal now'

His brow furrowed menacingly. 'Come now Peyton, don't be bitter, it doesn't look good on you'

His hand ensnared the young girls wrist, effortlessly shoving her back onto the sofa. 'She wants to be here. She stays here'

Peyton stumbled. 'Like hell she is' She was becoming more enraged by the second, if that were even possible.

'I get it' With Aurora slumped on the leather two seater, he stepped forward, preventing Peyton from helping the girl back to her feet. 'You're jealous. You're worried because one day soon someone like her will steal your lime light. I get it darling. But don't overlook the fact that you're where you are purely because of me'

She'd heard enough. 'You're sick. Move'

'You've always been one of my favourites. You've got one of those faces' His hand reached out to her face and she instantly took a little step back but he was quicker. His fingers grappled at her chin and she winced. 'You don't need to be jealous of her darling' Peyton's eyes skittered to the semi conscious girl behind him. 'She's not like you. By the time she's twenty six she'll have lost what makes her appealing. She'll have lost her youthful features' Peyton glowered, one hand pressed against his chest while the other tried to prie the fingers away at her chin. 'I know we've had our differences and you've clearly been struggling a bit over the past months. I can help you out, I can find you work. You know it's where you really belong, your worthy of so much more than _Brooke Davis'_ company'

'Over my dead body. I'm quitting modelling' She hissed back.

His eyes narrowed tenfold. She was his little protege. He could handle her going off and doing her own thing because they always came crawling back, but for her to give up everything that he considered he'd given her, everything he'd made her, angered him.

His thumbs roughly rubbed over her lips and cheeks, smudging part of her make up.

She flinched, her hand automatically rising to slap him. But he caught her wrist with little effort and panic was quick to flower deep in her stomach.

'Don't you be ungrateful darling. After everything I've done for you. You're where you are because of me'

A roaring noise in her ears drowned out his deep voice. She needed out of this situation before it got out of hand.

'Let. Me. Go'

He smiled. 'Or what Peyton?'

'You think I won't tell the world what you're like? All the things you've done' She strained to break free of his tight hold.

He snorted. 'You think the world will believe you'

'Let. Her. Go'

The enraged voice startled them both.

Peyton felt a mixture of relief and annoyance as she stared into Lucas' dark eyes.

Relief that he was saving her, annoyance that she needed him to save her.

When she wasn't immediately released she watched on with a panicked stare, because Lucas' expression was unamused and she didn't think she'd ever seen him so mad and quite frankly she was frightened for his well being.

Not that she needed to be; the man that was holding her trapped was stronger than her but not him and in a flurry of movement she was freed and she watched on, astounded as Lucas threw a couple of punches into the unprepared man's face.

'Luke!' She protested when Carl slumped back against the wall with a bloodied face. 'Stop!'

Her gentle touch on his forearm had him reeling back, a crazed expression on his face.

He'd never been so livid and that hatred scorched through him, a catalyst to the power behind his fists.

'Luke' her voice calmed him, soothed him, assured him.

'You leave. And don't you dare lay a hand on her again' He spat.

Carl staggered, eagerly backing away and Peyton revelled in his sudden weakness.

'Are you alright?'

Her pale appearance evoked Lucas' unease.

Peyton blinked, looking at him. Gone was the, dark frenzied expression, instead to be replaced with the caring eyes of blue that she loved so much.

Lucas' finger reached out, running along her bottom lip and when he pulled it away she noted the blood that was smeared over his finger. Her tongue darted out, tasting the metallic substance.

'It's alright' He assured. 'It's just a little nick'

She nodded. 'Is, is she okay?'

Lucas followed her stare and moved to the girl, checking her over and trying to stir her from her deep slumber. Eventually she began to mumble unintelligible words of protest.

'I think so' He finally concluded. 'She's pretty drugged up'

'Can, do you think you can help me get her back to my place?'

'Of course' Lucas didn't hesitate. 'Do you know her?'

'Sort of. Her name is Aurora, she was a big hit at fashion week'

He briefly wondered why she wanted to bring this girl back to her place, but the look of compassion on her face answered his silent wonderings and had him swallowing thickly; she wanted to help this girl and he loved her for it and god he'd do anything she asked right now because he wanted to be alone with her. Wanted to talk to her and despite knowing that bombarding her after being back for such little time wasn't the wisest of plans, time seemed of the essence and he'd waited so long already.

* * *

His shoulder brushed hers as they vacated her bedroom and he felt her lean into it momentarily, before she stiffened and pulled herself away, taking two hasty steps to put some distance between them.

He hated this. Hated the distance, hated the uncomfortable silence that reigned.

They moved into the living room and she immediately migrated to the piano stool, looking out at the skyline.

He was certain this was the point where he was meant to declare his departure because they'd gotten Aurora into bed and she was sleeping but leaving was the last thing he wanted.

'What you did tonight was pretty amazing' He broke the quiet.

Peyton shook her head as she shrugged her cardigan off. She could feel herself burning and briefly wondered if her cheeks were as red as they felt. 'Thank you...for helping me' She half smiled at him over her shoulder. 'I wouldn't have been able to get her out of there if you hadn't helped'

'You're welcome. I'm sorry I got...'

'A little carried away?' She ran her hand over the silky wooden top of her piano.

'Yeah' He squinted. 'I just, knowing what he did to you. I can't stand...' He trailed off.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded awkwardly and he gaped at her.

Eyes travelled over her. It had felt like an eternity that she'd been away and with every day that had past, more of a fool he felt. Too many nights had he laid awake envisaging her. Too long had he not felt her skin beneath his fingertips. He'd not done her justice, none of his fantasies lived up to the real thing. Her delicate hands. Her silky skin. Elegant shoulders. Scrawny arms. Sleek long legs. The curve of her hips. His stare swooped up her, lingering at the neckline where the fabric dipped to accentuate her petite chest.

She stood suddenly.

'Peyton' He hastily walked over to her, his hands sliding round her small waist.

He could smell the perfume coming from her delicate skin. He could almost taste her lip-gloss that was still lingering on her lips. He could see the exposed skin above her knees that was showing as a result from her dress riding itself up as she'd stood abruptly.

'Luke-'

'Please'

She frowned, retreating inwardly as memories and the goings on of the night amplified her emotions, baring down on her fragile heart.

Her mind was telling her to back up and get away.

He'd not wanted her. He'd left her and she'd just spent the last four months getting herself together.

But her body wouldn't move, reeling in his touch.

He'd caught her completely between himself and the piano.

His hands whispered over her face. Over the few sun induced freckles that speckled her cheeks. He was terrified to do anything to break the spell he had her under.

Although thankful she wasn't pulling away, the pleasure of having her so close was overshadowed by her refusal to look him in the eye. Just as it was becoming too much she lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. Green, green eyes. His Peyton. And then he pressed his mouth to hers, pressing her flat against him as he did so.

She sucked in a breath, and with fluttering eyes, surrendered to his kiss, lips parting.

Hot, wet, warmth.

Desire. Relief. Triumph.

He had her back.

His tongue danced purposefully with hers.

It felt too good. Too perfect. He pulled away, panting and she tilted her head back briefly and he kissed her neck and she moaned.

He longed to hear his name pass her parted lips but the sweet murmur worked just the same, going straight to his crotch. He pressed against her harder.

'I missed you' He murmured.

Her mind was troubled; the heartbreak that she'd been suffering, that Lucas had inflicted swelled to the forefront of her mind. Doubt and confusion provoked her body to stiffen most suddenly.

This wasn't right.

'No' She pushed against his chest.

'Peyton' it was a prayer, a plea, a declaration, an apology, a curse and a question, all rolled into one. She looked down but he needed her to look at him, to stay with him, to be with him this way.

'Let me go Luke'

'Wait, Peyton. I'm sorry' He reached for her hands but she pulled back, eager to get some space between them. 'I want to talk to you. We need to talk about this'

'There's nothing to talk about Lucas'

'Yes there is' He exclaimed. 'I'm so sorry. I just want us to be together. I've been so stupid'

Her eyes widened.

She instantly found herself denying any truth in his statements.

She blinked. She needed to sit down. She needed him to leave.

'Ple-'

'Don't speak' She put her hands up in protest.

He swallowed thickly. He'd gone about this all wrong, in hindsight he could see that. He'd not been thinking when he'd kissed her, overcome with nothing but relief to have her so close, had not been able to resist when she'd been within his reach after so long.

His heart sunk as he stared at her, as it dawned on him that this wasn't going to be easy, never was going to be that simple, couldn't be. Because he'd hurt her.

His eyes drifted to the floor defeatedly.

Now was not the time. He realised that. Not when they'd both had a couple of drinks. Not when he was here only because he'd been helping her with Aurora. Not when she'd not exactly invited him. Not at 1am in the morning when they were both tired. Not when he'd only found out she was back less than four hours prior. He needed to get his thoughts in order, his words in order because if he had any chance of sorting this mess out, he needed to be able to explain and get across to her everything he felt.

He licked his lips and his stare suddenly took in the piled up boxes that were spotted around the open room.

'Why is everything in boxes?' He muttered.

'That's not any of your business. Please just, just go'

'Everything to do with you is my business' He argued, his words coming thoughtlessly as the situation spiralled out of control.

'What?' Her face crumpled as she stared at him with watery eyes.

'I said everything-'

'I fucking heard you. You need to go. Right now.'

'Pey-'

'God Lucas, please, just, you have to go. Now!'

He dragged his hand across his mouth, his whole demeanour hardening as he slowly backed away. He didn't want to go, he wanted to shake her, to make her see that he knew, he knew he'd been an ass but he wanted this, he really did and he didn't want her to doubt what was so clearly between them, however unfair that was because she had every god damn reason to. He feared she wasn't just asking him to leave but to walk away from them. He wasn't stupid enough to say that though, worried that if he muttered those words she'd only confirm his fears. Instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets and retreated as ordered, but not in defeat, because this wasn't the end, it couldn't, he wouldn't let it be.


	25. Bitterness

**A/N** I'm not quite sure what happend!- I spent a day watching all Lucas and Peyton clips on youtube which was followed by a sudden burst of writing that resulted in this...

The last twenty four hours had been an emotional roller coaster to say the least and for a while, after he'd left, she'd just let herself sit beneath the piano and cry. Because she was angry and upset, and confused about what had happened. She was meant to be happy, she was meant to be uncontainable with happiness because he'd implied that he was still hung up on her.

She wasn't happy though, not in the slightest; she couldn't understand why he felt that way, when he'd made his feelings prior to her departure, more than clear. He couldn't mean what he said. She refused to believe it. Her heart wasn't strong enough to withstand any more games. It was enough to make her wish she'd not come back at all.

Peyton flushed, just thinking about the way he'd touched her, how his mouth had been everywhere all at once, how much she'd enjoyed it. And she hated herself for it. Hated how weak she'd been in the moment.

At some point she became aware of the rising sunlight, breaking through the large windows. She'd miss the view from her apartment on mornings like this. It was like, just for a moment the city stopped, shrouded in gold. She shifted from her hiding spot, wiping at the sticky remains of tears at her cheeks as she stood. The apartment felt emptier in daylight, her gentle foot steps echoing in the vast space. The decision to move had been easy, it had been a choice she'd made in the first few weeks of being away. She couldn't return and live in this building anymore because she didn't want the same life. She needed a new home; a new abode for a new start.

Intent on getting Lucas out of her mind she decided finishing up packing was a good distraction but didn't get very far because the young girl's silhouette hovering near the doorway startled her; she'd temporarily forgotten that she wasn't alone.

The young model's long, dark silky hair was tangled and her mascara smudged around her eyes and she looked impossibly childlike as she lingered nervously and Peyton felt a flash of tenderness.

'It's Aurora right?'

'Just' She cleared her croaky throat before trying again. 'Just Roary'

'Just Roary' Peyton smiled. 'I'm Peyton'

She nodded dazedly for she new very well that it was Peyton Wolf that stood before her. 'I...how, is...where am I?' She asked incoherently, shifting her weight.

'This is my place. Well for the next week or so' She regarded Roary carefully. She remembered how she'd thought when she was this kids age. She'd thought she could do everything by herself. She'd thought she was old enough to handle everything without any guidance or support. How wrong she'd been. 'You must be wondering how you got here' She walked nearer to the petite girl. 'Do you remember anything?'

Aurora held her heels in one hand and they clanked together as she edged cautiously further into the room. The sun pouring through the vast windows hit her and she winced, her large brown eyes crumpling in displeasure. 'Is Carl here?'

'No, no' Peyton watched her worry her red bottom lip. 'Don't worry. I'll make sure you never seem him again. Why don't you come sit down?'

'I should probably just go-'

'No. Please. Come sit'

Roary swallowed, but begrudgingly followed the blonde to one of the leather sofas.

'Do you remember what happened?'

'Erm...No, well a little, look I'm really sorry. You're like Peyton Wolf and you probably just think I'm a stupid little girl'

Peyton shook her head. 'Of course I don't' She didn't know how to address the previous night and decided there wasn't any easy way other than just saying it. 'I got you home last night, because you were looking worse for wear and Carl would have taken you back to his otherwise'

Roary nodded uncomfortably. 'You're really pretty'

Peyton rolled her eyes at her attempt to steer the conversation else where. She didn't like this kids insecure expression, she was incredibly attractive and yet so blatantly disbelieving to that fact. This is what this world did to you. Peyton wondered how many times she'd been told she needed to loose a few pounds or that her face wasn't pretty enough. 'You're forced to think that. It's like eating a new food, they say if you eat something you don't like enough you'll actually start liking it; you see my face enough you start to think I'm pretty'

A glimmer of a smile touched Roary's rose bud lips and she was no longer a young model but an awkward teenager.

Peyton tilted her head to the side, her smile dwindling as she veered the topic back on track. 'Honey I know what was going on last night'

Roary looked down suddenly, shame morphing her features.

'You know we can call the police. We should tell-'

'No...look I knew what I was doing. Carl is alright. You probably got the wrong end of the stick. I was with him through choice' She declared defensively.

'Drugging girls and taking advantage of them isn't alright Roary'

'He didn't drug me...I just, I...it was going to be my first time...I took the drugs voluntarily, I wanted them.' She clawed her hands into her hair. 'Look I don't expect you to get it okay? I know it looks bad but it's fine. My Mum, she, she has a drink problem and I, I have a kid sister, she's only nine but she's like super talented at dance and she wants to go to this fancy ballet school, if I earn enough money I'd be able to get Mum help and send Rihanna to private school. Carl can help'

'Honey sleeping with him isn't going to help'

'I know it's wrong. I know it's gross what I'm doing but it'll be just once and he'll help me make it'

'Maybe. Maybe not. But it's not worth it. All this' Peyton flailed her hands in the air, a small swell of panic rising in her chest; she feared she was failing miserably at convincing this impressionable young girl that she was making all the wrong choices. 'It's nothing if you're not happy and money can't buy happiness. Believe me, I know. Is it really worth it? Giving yourself to someone you don't know, sure he might give you money but you'll hate yourself-'

'You don't know what it's like. It's not much to sacrifice when-'

'I get it. More than you know. I know what it's like not being able to help the people you love the most but Roary, what about you?'

'It doesn't matter about me'

Peyton frowned. Asides from Lucas she'd never talked to anyone about her relationship with Carl, but this was suddenly easy, easy when she hoped it would help this girl not make the same mistakes she had. Besides, she didn't think she could pull off any convincing type of subterfuge so decided to just trust that Roary would be discreet and not go babbling to some reporter once she confided in her. 'You do matter. I wish someone had been there to tell me that' She scraped her hand through her hair. 'It was horrible for me and it wasn't my first time and I hated myself for doing it, still do. I don't want you to have that regret honey...your first time should be special'

'You...' She looked at the older model quizzically and Peyton could tell she wanted more information.

'It was a long time ago... it was wrong then and it's wrong now. He blackmailed me and he's doing the same to you, I know it probably doesn't feel like it but it's just the same Roary' She took her hand. 'Look I can help you. I want to help you. I can get your Mum some help, I know a lot of people and as for your sister, I'm sure I can sort something out'

Roary's eyebrows raised, stunned. She was baffled by Peyton's openness, kindness and generosity, she was known as the ice queen after all. She shook her head suddenly. 'I can't ask you to do that'

'You didn't. I want to' Peyton dismissed her protest. She needed to do this. She couldn't let Roary walk out of here knowing she was going to walk down the same path she had.

'You're a lot nicer than I heard. I like you Peyton'

A wide grin spread across Peyton's face. 'I like you too Roary. Just don't get on my bad side'

* * *

Brooke wrapped a sheet of bubble wrap around another photo frame, fondly smiling at the blonde haired child that was captured with her parents in the black bordering frame. 'You were such a cute kid' She idly mentioned, carefully putting the now protected item into an open cardboard box. 'Have you seen Mummy and Daddy yet?'

'No, haven't exactly mentioned that I'm back'

'Peyton'

'What? I'm just sorting my life out and that doesn't involve them interfering for a bit okay? You know you don't have to examine everything you pack up' Peyton glanced at her watch. 'Time is of the essence and all that. The storage people will be here at 2 to collect everything'

'I can't help it, you were just so darn cute. What went wrong?'

Peyton stuck her tongue out childishly. 'Very funny'

Brooke grinned, returning to looking at all of her friend's photos as she assisted in packing up the few remaining things. 'So, you left with Lucas after the party the other night?'

'I told you about Roary, he just helped me get her back to mine'

Aurora had been a welcomed distraction over the past few days. She was trying to keep herself as busy as possible, trying to keep all thoughts of _him_ at bay. Because when she stopped moving, stopped long enough to think for just a moment, she was left going over the words that had transpired between them, the kiss that had left her craving more. She banished herself from even thinking his name, scared that he was going to come knocking, scared that he'd want to _talk_ again.

'So...nothing...happened?' Brooke tried subtly, but subtlety wasn't her forte.

'He told you didn't he?' Peyton deduced, abandoning the box she'd been taping up, her hair flicking out as she raised her head, eyes interrogating as she focused on Brooke.

'I might of threatened his life if he didn't tell me exactly what happened' Brooke shrugged indifferently. She was beyond invested in these two people and seeing them happily together was what she ideally wanted.

'Well he kissed me. I didn't kiss him. Did he tell you that? Look Brooke I don't...I don't want to talk about it'

'He does'

'Well last time we talked it ended up with him sticking his tongue in my mouth' Her lips curled into a scornful smile.

Brooke dubiously looked at her, hand on hip. 'Okay. And you don't want to talk about it because? You know it would help if you talked about it, what's going on in your head girly?'

'You wanna play shrink?'

'No I want to play interfering friend. Now spill'

'Wouldn't you rather hear about Roary?'

'Sixteen year old Peyton Wolf wannabe that you're saving, yada, yada, yada. I've got the story on Roary. Now Lucas?' She chirped.

Flustered by Brooke's incessant meddling, Peyton ran a hand over her forehead, the brunette's kind yet expectant face drawing the trapped words from her mouth. 'He keeps calling me. He keeps leaving message after message and I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk about him-'

'Honey he only wants to explain'

'Explain? What is there to explain! I don't care, I just, I can't go back Brooke. For the first time in a long time I feel mentally stable and he fucks that up. He can't just decide that he loves me. He doesn't. He's just lonely. He ended it. Not me.'

Brooke nodded. She understood Peyton's bitterness. She herself had found Lucas' behaviour hard to get her head round but she knew his feelings for the blonde were nothing but genuine.

'Look Brooke, I know you're worried about me and Luke and I know I was a bit dark-'

'A bit?'

'Okay a lot' Peyton amended with a roll of her eyes. 'But I'm fine now. I just want to concentrate on moving on with my life' She patted a nearby stack of boxes. 'And moving out of here is step one'

Brooke nodded affirmatively.

'Step two, I need to actually figure out where I'm going' Peyton screwed her face up a little in thought. She'd not found anywhere yet and she didn't exactly know where she wanted to be.

'You're kind of doing this a bit backwards aren't you? You're meant to find a place and then move out?'

'Don't make me stressed'

'Oh that reminds me, Me and Julian are going up to his parents place in the Hamptons this weekend. You're invited'

'I don't know Brooke I don't want to intrude, I'm sure Julian will appreciate me ruining his little romantic weekend' She drawled sarcastically.

'It's not going to be like that. We're having a little party so there's a bunch of people meeting us up there. Besides you can do some thinking about what you want to do. You'll come?'

'Okay'

'Wonderful'.

* * *

Her decision to let him come in was purely because she needed for this to stop. The phone calls. The messages. Everything. And if that meant letting him _talk_ to her so be it.

'Peyton, I'm, I'm sorry for the other night' He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and knew he needed to step away from her before it was too late, before this conversation ended just like their last, with him pouncing on her in a heated physical embrace.

He couldn't do that, not this time. He new the repercussions if he did, he wasn't so stupid as to think she'd even consider seeing him again if he tried anything. So he stepped back.

'There's no excuse. I just missed you and was overwhelmed to have you so close again' He sheepishly explained.

'Roary is in through there' She announced, refusing to acknowledge what he was insinuating. It was all his implications that had gotten her so confused.

His brow kinked at the sudden change of subject. He peered round the corner to see the silhouette of the young girl and wondered if she was telling him of her presence because she didn't trust that he could keep his hands to himself. He shoved his fingers into his pockets, maybe she was right. 'Oh? How is she doing?'

'Better. I'm helping her out with a few things. She's a good kid'

He smiled softly. 'That's really great Peyton. What you're doing is really great' She didn't answer and the silence pained him. 'Look, I came here because I wanted to talk to you. Properly. About everything'

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. 'I'm not sure there's much to talk about'

'There is' He disputed. 'I just, I messed up Peyt. I messed up so badly. And I'm so sorry. So sorry for hurting you, for pushing you away, for making you think I don't love you'

She grimaced. She could feel herself shrinking back into the recesses of her mind. She doubted his words with every fibre of her being, maybe it was the pessimist in her but she'd lived through enough things in her time and was being nothing but realistic in her eyes. She had no reason to trust him, all the evidence led to the contrary.

'If I'd died, I didn't want you to go through that. I've lost someone I loved and it's, it's fucking hard Peyton and I didn't think-'

'You were right. What you did was right. To end it; we were just, we were just...infatuated but it wasn't love. We're from different worlds' This conversation seemed so familiar and his head shook with frustration, he'd spent so much time convincing her otherwise, convincing her that he was it for her and he'd gone and ruined it all. 'I'm from the city, you're from the country. You deserve someone that can be your pretty little housewife. We're not compatible' She cited. It had been her mantra if you like, listing all the reasonings as to why they weren't compatible, whether they were valid or not wasn't important. 'I'm stubborn and cold and your gentle and righteous and it doesn't work. Can't work'

He gaped slightly at her. He knew what she was doing, knew she was actively trying to push him away. He was reminded of all the obstacles that had posed a threat to their relationship thus far, all the road blocks that had gotten in their way. Her insecurities. Her Mum. Her Dad. Felix. His jealousy. His insecurities. He tried to zone out as she went on to note what he considered to be his weaknesses and a part of him, the selfless part wanted her to continue pushing, for him to quit fighting for her because he wanted the best for her. But the selfish part, the selfish part grew angry, it was the part of him that had grown desperate and tired over the last few months, the part of him that had him up all night, yearning for her. And that selfish monster in him wanted nothing more than for Peyton to surrender, for her to back down and admit defeat and to tell him that she understood why he'd acted the way he had, that she forgave him and that she wanted to move on, _together._

He didn't get why she wasn't even prepared to listen to what he had to say. He could see the determination in her eyes, resolute and resistent. It was like she was determined to believe that he had maliciously deceived her, and that their relationship had been wrong and should never have happened in the first place. Lucas knew that that wasn't the case. It couldn't be. And he hadn't deceived her, well maybe a little but he'd deceived himself too and it had only been because he was trying to protect her.

For a moment the look of resolution on his face dwindled but then his lips thinned, and when he focused his harsh stare on her once again there was no hint of indecision. 'I can't believe you'd say that. That's not true' He murmured quietly. 'We are good together. We're meant to be together'

It was a warring feeling; to be so confused. One part of her was pleased, inevitably so, because he was saying things that she longed to hear but the other part was mistrusting and non-believing. She despised the uneasiness, the unfamiliarity of _them_. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult.

'Lucas I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same-'

'Yes you do-'

'I will always be here if you need me but we, we're over' She nodded with finality.

'Peyton-'

'I can't, I can't ever go to that place again Luke. It's dark and it scares me and I don't want to be that person'

'Peyton people do stupid fucking things when they think they're going to die. It fucks with your mind. I was fucking stupid'

'I know' She murmured. 'And I'm really glad you're okay Luke. Maybe we can be friend-'

'I've never been your friend' He was quick to abolish any pitiful suggestions she had.

'Well. That's all I am now'

She watched his fingers bawl into fists at his sides and then flex out. 'I won't be your friend' He shook his head, his voice a calm, exhausted whisper.

Disappointment that she tried to quell, simmered unpleasantly in her stomach; she'd anticipated his anger not his demise. She couldn't fathom the dissatisfied feeling that numbed her- she was meant to be happy with her triumph but as the front door closed behind him, she felt no such elation; he was meant to be angry.

* * *

This bar was where they'd first kissed. It had been the beginning and as he sat nursing his drink he feared it was the end.

'Never fall in love with a model'

Lucas' eyes snapped up from his drink, his blood running cold as his steely gaze met Felix. Great. The last person he wanted to run into.

'Especially a model called Peyton Wolf. They're all fucked up my friend'

'I suggest you leave me alone because I am not in the mood'

'Look, I know we had a misunderstanding-'

'There was no misunderstanding- you think you can get people to do whatever the hell you like with no regard to them-'

'Oh please, Lucas look I appreciate that you're this good guy, but you don't know shit. You think she cared for you? Well I assure you she didn't- She walked out on you after all-'

'Actually I'm the one that ended it' He seethed.

'Well, you came to your senses' He sent a congratulatory slap to Lucas' back.

'Forgive me for not wanting to talk to the guy that blackmailed my girlfriend'

'Ex-girlfriend. Oh please, you make me sound like the bad guy' Felix leaned on the bar. 'Look no hard feelings, let me buy you a drink' He signalled to the bartender but Lucas was quick to decline the replenished drink that was set before him. 'I know Peyton, Lucas. She's a free spirit and lets face it, you're not the kind of guy that can handle the little minx -'

'Just stay away from me and stay away from Peyton'

'It's Peyton that has the trouble with staying away from me' Lucas lifted his head and looked into Felix's smarmy face. 'I hate to be the one to shatter your little fantasies but she's definitely not hung up on you anymore, she's moved on to _better_ and _bigger_ things' He finished slowly, articulating his last few words and Lucas felt sick at the sly grin on his face. He was too stunned to move away as Felix lent forward, his hand cupping the back of Lucas' head firmly. 'It's my name she screams out now Lucas' he whispered crudely in his ear.

He saw red and without a modicum of thought, his hand snapped out, ensnaring the arm that was resting on the bar. A grim smile played on his face; it was satisfying to watch Felix squirm, to know that just tightening his hand a fraction more would snap the bone.

Felix's face reddened, wearing the fear that came along with Lucas' assault. It had come unexpectedly and at the position they were in, Lucas had the upper hand.

Sure it was satisfying, but it didn't eradicate his rage. He could hurt him, he could get into a fist fight, but it wouldn't take back what had been done. He abruptly released him and Felix stumbled. He kept picturing them together, couldn't get all of the different scenarios out of his racing mind, some of them ending with her crying out his name in pleasure, and some in pain.

He needed out of this bar and far away from Felix Taggero.

'You stay the fuck out of her life' He growled and then he was leaving. He couldn't get far enough away.

* * *

Peyton couldn't quite believe how drastically her life had altered in the last year, couldn't quite believe all the things that had happened.

She stood on the porch of Julian's parents house, looking out at the large stretch of land. It was picture perfect; a little bubble, obscuring the outside world. Sand. Trees. Lush green lawn. She liked it here. The Summer's sun was hot, the coasts gentle breeze bringing a welcomed relief.

She could hear Brooke's carefree, idle laughter drifting through the open french doors and she was happy, happy for her friend. Julian was good for her, they bought out the best in each other.

A few people scattered the lawn, she didn't really know the guests. But it was nice. It was civilised. And for a moment she felt content.

That was until she noted four people walking around the side of the house and her heart sunk. Bubble burst.

Nathan. Haley. Jamie. Lucas.

'Peyton' Brooke's voice was wary and apologetic as she noted what had her friend's face twisting.

'Brooke' Peyton moaned back, quickly turning to face the brunette, a scowl on her pretty face.

'I didn't tell you but you didn't ask' Brooke shrugged defensively.

'I can't-'

'We're all friends. You're going to have to get use to him being around honey. I mean, he's going to be there at my wedding and considering you're maid of honor you're going to have to at least be civil'

Peyton's eyes went wide, her mouth agape at Brooke's sudden blurted confession. She blinked, uncertain that she'd just heard correctly.

'I'm hoping your silence is a yes because-'

'Married. You're getting married? To Julian?'

'No, to Lucas' Brooke teased. 'Of course Julian'

'Oh my god, why didn't you tell me?'

'I was going to, it's not like I've been trying to hide this' Peyton's stare took in the ring that was sparkling iridescently on Brooke's wedding finger. How hadn't she noticed it before now? 'But you've been a little preoccupied'

'I'm such a bad friend, I'm so self obsessed'

'No' Brooke flailed her hand dismissively. 'You've just got home. You've had a lot on your mind'

'So this is like, an engagement party' Peyton looked around with new eyes.

'Well sort of'

'And you want me? To be your Maid of honor?'

'Yes' Brooke proudly confirmed.

'But I, me? What about Haley? I'm not exactly honorable'

'Haley and me are friends but she's not my best friend'

Peyton felt a stinging at her nose and her eyes water.

'Me?'

'Yes'

Peyton threw her arms round the brunettes neck. She wasn't good with words—hell, over the last year she'd only just started grasping the concept of feelings she hadn't known were possible. But actions spoke louder than words and this hug said a thousand things.

'I'm taking this as a yes?'

'Yes, of course yes'

'You'll try and get on with Luke this weekend won't you?'

'I wouldn't ruin your weekend B Davis. Best behaviour. I swear. And I'm so, so happy for you'.

* * *

Lucas tentatively crossed the large garden, joined by his brother, best friend and nephew but was soon falling behind the young family. Brooke hadn't answered him when he'd asked if Peyton would be here, instead she'd rambled on dramatically saying that he better come or she'd never speak to him again. He wasn't surprised to see her standing up near the house but he very much doubted that she knew he were coming, nor that some of his family were in attendance.

She was wearing a simple, deep blue halter sun dress and was bare foot and of course his eyes were drawn to her long legs. He closed his eyes and tried not to remember the way her warm skin had felt beneath his hands the week before, did not want to recall the way her lips had moved against his, her hot breath mingling with his own. Nor did he want to think about the sensation of her tiny hands clutching at his forearms. He closed his eyes. It was futile. He let himself remember her flushed cheeks, her swollen lips, her long eyelashes, her tears and then his eyes snapped open because he didn't want to remember the sadness in her eyes. Sadness that was his doing.

He clutched the engagement present under his arm tighter and silently formulated a plan in his head; he would be on his best behaviour regardless of any desires he had, regardless of his menacing need to drag her aside and yell at her some because Felix Taggero's words plagued him and he wanted the truth right this second. But he figured Brooke Davis wouldn't be impressed if he sabotaged her little party. He couldn't do that to her.

'Luke, you made it' Julian's voice ushered him across the the last few steps to the grill that the recently engaged man was tending with a bright smile.

'Wouldn't have missed it for the world. Congrats Julian' Lucas slapped his back in greeting. 'And good luck. You're going to need it' He taunted.

Julian laughed. 'It's not me that's going to need luck, you're late. She's already pissed at you'

'Yeah well I bought Hales and Nate and I bring a gift that was more aimed at her than you so I think I'll earn some friend points back'

'You know her too well' Julian noted, diligently flipping the cooking chicken and burgers.

'Know her well enough to know that she's never been this happy'

'Thanks man, that means a lot' He looked at Lucas, to find his stare on a certain blonde that was mingling up near the house with his fiancee. 'Did Brooke tell you she was going to be here?'

'Na but I figured' Lucas shrugged. 'It's cool'

'Can't be easy though. She'll come round though Luke. I've never seen her look at anyone like she looks at you'

Lucas kinked his brow. 'You two, you never...?'

'Oh god no' Julian shook his head. 'Well she tried, I am irresistible you know' He smugly informed a relieved Lucas. 'But she was only seventeen when we first met, I was looking for _the_ one'

'And you've found her'

'Yes. And I think Peyton has too if it's any consolation. She's still hung up on you man'

'I hope so. I've not given up on her yet' He confided. 'She's just really, really fucking stubborn'

'You were kind of an ass'

'Noted. And I've paid the ultimate price'

'Well, I'm rooting for you two. Besides it'll bring this civilised party some much in need entertainment'

'I'm glad my fucked up life brings you such amusement' He droned with a shake of his head. 'This is going to be a long weekend'

* * *

Lucas had been right; the weekend seemed to be moving at an impossibly slow rate. Peyton despised the almost painfully polite charade that he was playing, had been playing since the moment they'd been forced to greet each other the prior day. She wanted his anger over this stupid act. But she played along too.

To bystanders it might have even seemed believable. She smiled and answered when he asked her how she was. He made small talk. He suggested books he thought she might enjoy. She told him about a few new bands she'd discovered. But it wasn't natural and she hated every moment. She wondered if this was it now. A game of charades. But this is what she'd desired wasn't it? Friendship?

Somehow she'd managed to avoid the little perfect Scott family for the most part but to her discomfort she suddenly found herself standing alone beside Mrs Haley James Scott.

'Haley, hi' It didn't take much for Peyton Wolf to feel intimidated but there was something about Haley that made her feel anxious. Nathan she liked a lot, but then again Nathan had sort her out after five minutes of arriving to greet her and there'd been zero awkwardness.

'Peyton' Haley forced a polite smile.

'I...this is crazy right? Brooke and Julian?' Peyton attempted to make conversation. 'Brooke only told me about they're engagement yesterday afternoon'

'Well that's not that crazy, she'd only told close friends'

It was a clear jab and Peyton felt it low in her gut. She swallowed. 'I know, I mean what was Brooke thinking, inviting me, the maid of honour? To her engagement party?' She mocked, revelling in the dismayed expression that was quick to descend upon Haley's unsuspecting face.

They stood side by side. Both looking on at the young party guests that were making the best of the swimming pool. Jamie waved every now and again in their direction and both women smiled.

Inevitably the conversation was quick to transcend to Lucas; their only common ground.

'How're things between you and Luke?' Haley asked quite suddenly.

Peyton indulged her, eager to fill the awkwardness between them with words. 'Not wonderful. You know; it's hard, there's a lot of emotions there but we're dealing'

'Yes well, I think the break up was sensible and you did the right thing in going away for a while. He needed not to be stressed out'

She couldn't bite her tongue. Maybe it was just her breaking point, maybe the emotion filled week had just caught up with her, maybe it hit her so hard because she feared there was truth in the young mother's words, whatever the reason, she couldn't ignore the underlying meaning of Haley's statement.

'Are you suggesting that I'm the reason he needed a heart transplant?' She didn't bother to hide her indignant expression.

'His condition was stable before he met you'

'I didn't do that to him' She lowly stated.

'Maybe not but it's a little strange how drastically his health changed in your presence. Not everyone is accustomed to your lifestyle'

'You know nothing about my lifestyle'

'Really? Well pictures say a thousand words and I know what I see. You didn't ever really care for him, I'm glad he finally saw sense before it was too late and he was buried ten feet underground'

Peyton had had her fair share of cat fights over the year. Haley however had not and the sudden jarring push to her shoulders sent her stumbling back instantaneously. Peyton couldn't help herself. It was uncontrollable. She'd seen black and her hands had taken a course of their own.

The splash was loud. Her screech was loud. The young mother and wife's teal dress bellowed out around her in the water.

'Don't fucking talk to me Haley'

Silence eclipsed the whole vicinity, shrouding the high spirited atmosphere in sudden darkness and Peyton suddenly felt physically sick. Because this was the one thing she'd promised Brooke she wouldn't do. She'd promised to be on her best behaviour but the person that had just pushed Haley Scott into a pool was not the best version of herself.

A hand found hers and her feet stumbled as she dazedly allowed herself to be dragged away from the humiliating stares. It was only when they were halfway down the lawn did she realise it was none other than Lucas who was dragging him behind her.

His hands were rough and coarse from years of having his head stuck under bonnets of cars and she grimaced as his long fingers wrapped around hers tightly; she knew this was one of those situations, when you know you shouldn't do something but the more you tell yourself no, the more tempted you are.

She let him pull her away from the pretty soiree and didn't look back over her shoulder, hoping perhaps if she didn't look, no one would notice them disappearing into the trees. She wasn't so foolish to think that Brooke Davis didn't have eyes in the back of her head nor that there was any chance of her going unnoticed after the spectacle she'd just created. With that thought she tried to free her hand.

'Luke what do you want? I don't want people to notice we've disappeared'

'What the hell was that?'

'She pissed me off'

'She's my best friend'

'She's not mine!'

'She's pregnant Peyton'

Her angry eyes tapered into dark beads of concern.

'I...I didn't know that'

'You know you could try and act your age-'

And then the anger was back. 'Me? You didn't hear her Lucas. But thanks for the vote of confidence' She spat back. 'I don't want to hear this' she marched away.

'No you don't' He grabbed her arm and spun her around. 'I want to talk'

'Yeah well I'm done talking, I've got nothing else to say'

'Well you can listen then' He let go of her forearm and she stumbled. 'Are you dating anyone?'

'What?' Her face softened with her confusion.

'Are you-'

'I don't think that's any of your business'

'I've told you before, everything to do with you is my business.'

'Don't speak to me like that Luke' She sighed wearily. 'I seem to remember you saying to me that it wasn't any of my business to know that you had a heart transplant. Well I don't think my love life has anything-'

'Felix? Really Peyton? Fucking Felix?' She jumped at his severe tone. 'Felix?' He'd held his tongue, it's all he'd wanted to blurt out for the best part of the previous evening and day.

Guilt caught in her throat and she turned away from the name he was barking at her, walking further into the maze of trees.

'Where're you going?' He grabbed at her arm again, halting her attempted escape.

'Why're you yelling at me?' She wriggled free of his hold, irritated by his manhandling.

'Because!' He exclaimed. 'You're fucking Felix? Of all the people in the world. Felix!'

Their relationship was hanging on a thread and his sudden outburst abolished the false harmony that had been established in the last day; potentially tearing those shaky foundations apart, perhaps severing their relationship for good this time.

She blinked.

She didn't know how he'd stumbled across this information, but considering she'd only told Brooke of her run in with the man in question she figured it was from Felix himself.

'He said you're sleeping with him?'

She looked down and he stared at her with narrowed eyes.

'Well?'

'Luke' She scowled, he didn't get to talk to her like that. He didn't get to be judgemental and he didn't get to care.

'That's really none of your-'

'Don't tell me it's not my fucking business cause it is. God damn it Peyton' He gritted his teeth together. 'I know I don't get to be mad. I know we weren't together I just want to-'

_I didn't sleep with him_ She almost cut in. But the hurt in his eyes was her reprisal because god had she suffered and if only for a moment it made her feel better. She'd stopped listening to his growling voice. Her stare focused on the worried lines on his forehead and the way his eyes were squinting at her.

'So you're not going to fucking say anything?' Standing to his full height, he rolled his shoulders, attempting to loosen his tensed muscles, and then he hit the tall oak tree that barred over them, trying to expel the frustration.

She watched a wince mar his pretty face and felt herself imitate his expression.

'What the hell Lucas?' She cried.

She instinctively reached out to tend to his hand but he shrugged her off in annoyance. 'It's fine. I'm fine!'

She could clearly see grazes on his knuckles and gritted her teeth. He wasn't fine. They weren't fine.

The civil rapport that they'd been effortlessly implementing over the last twenty four hours crumbled.

Her emotions were under lock and key and she quickly crossed her arms defensively over her chest, hiding her heart. Her eyes narrowed, concealing the spark that only he ignited and she masked the breathless, can't eat, can't sleep, I'd die for you expression that only frequented her face in his presence by forcing a resilient scowl.

He let out an exhale and she cringed at the low sound of the hastily indrawn breath that followed.

And just like that, her charade faltered, face falling with concern. She hated herself for a moment because he was fragile, in her eyes. His heart condition, the transplant. He didn't need to be getting stressed out and she was instantly remorseful and was quick to completely abandon the ice princess persona she was so desperately trying to portray. Maybe Haley was right. Maybe she did cause all this.

'I haven't fucking slept with him' She shrilly announced.

His head jerked.

'I don't believe you'

'I was going to, I went to his, I had every intention to' She honestly revealed.

Lucas' face paled.

'Why...why would...he, after he...' He pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew he shouldn't be mad but everything he was feeling was quite the opposite of not mad. 'Why would you fucking do that?

'I don't know' She sighed, closing her eyes. 'I don't expect you to understand...I did a lot of stupid stuff after we broke up'

He grimaced.

'I was mad at you and I guess, I guess I thought sleeping with Felix would make me feel better'

'Right' He glared. 'And did it?'

'I told you I didn't'

'Of all the fucking people in the world you had to go to him? Did I mean that little?' He seethed.

Her startled eyes narrowed with his question, a rage bellowing deep in her lungs. 'Did _I_ mean that little?' She growled back. 'Are you forgetting who fucking ended us? It shouldn't matter who I sleep with to you!'

'Damn it Peyton. I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. How can I get you to see that? Stop shutting me out! You're stood up there with all those people and you look at me like I'm one of them, like I'm just an acquaintance. Stop pretending that there's nothing between us…that you don't feel the same…that you don't still want me as much as I want you'

'I don't want you! I've moved on. I've spent the last four months moving on'

'You haven't moved on and I sure as hell haven't' He wasn't trying to cause more damage than he'd already done but he felt like they were going round in circles. She'd been listening when he'd grovelled to her at the beginning of the week, she had but apparently she'd not heard. It was essential that he proved to her that he was the Lucas she'd fallen in love with, the man she was meant to be with but every harsh word that was delivered failed to work in his favour.

The anger that ran viciously through her veins along with her heartbreak moulded into a volatile combination. 'Don't tell me that I haven't moved on! How dare you imply that?' She bleated.

'I can't be without you' It was a long shot and he wasn't surprised by her snort that followed.

'Well you sure found it fucking easy to push me away' He'd never seen her so mad. 'You never had me Lucas, not really' The vindictive words rolled off her tongue.

He'd been angry but now she was just provoking him and he took the bate.

'Never had you?' He nodded composedly but he was anything but composed, not beneath the surface and she could see it blazing dangerously in his eyes. 'Right. That's funny because I recall _having you_ over and over again, you couldn't get enough. All those times you called me to come meet you in a sordid hotel room' She cowered away as he snatched her arms, the trunk of the overshadowing oak hitting her back. He loomed over her, completely breaching her personal space.

'That's not what I meant-'

'I know what you meant. I'm the only man that's had you in your bed though, remember? I'm the only man you've really ever given yourself to'

Her mind was quick to go to inappropriate places because his hard torso was millimetres from her chest and she wanted him closer and the words he was saying awakened something deep inside her and god she hated him.

'Don't trivialise what we had just because you're fucking pissed at me' He stepped forward, his thigh inadvertently lodging in between her legs and she gasped. 'Tell me you didn't fuck him'

'You want to know every detail of what happened?' She growled. She craved the green-eyed monster in front of her. Craved his suffering because in some sick way it made everything better. 'I chose to go to him, not the other way round...I let him kiss me in his study' He gritted his teeth. 'I let him finger me on his desk'

A growl that sounded like a wounded animal left him and she shuddered as his forehead pressed into hers almost painfully. He had no pride left.

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to eradicate the horrible visions her words garnered. He wasn't sure he could hear anymore.

Every night he'd spent without her had been like torture, every time he'd shut his eyes, images of green eyes and honeyed hair danced underneath his eyelids while soft, pouty lips and long endless legs paraded through his mind. He opened his eyes. He didn't need to imagine. She was right here. His. Not Felix's.

His eyes were hungry as his strong, masculine hand tightened on her right wrist while the other moved, sliding down her side with authority. He was done being tentative. Done with the pleading. He didn't want this, _them_, to be a distant memory. His ego was severely wounded and he needed to amend the vile images she'd put in his mind.

She sighed at the feeling of his hands on her, aching for his touch.

She wasn't good at expressing her feelings, he'd learnt that long ago, she said things that she didn't mean but she'd always, even from the beginning, physically expressed what her words did not. And right now as he pressed his thigh harder against her and her mouth opened, a strangled whimper touched his lips and it said a thousand words.

She could feel everything; the lapels of his jacket, the buttons on his shirt and the rivet on his pants, indenting the thin material of her dress.

The sight of him, crazed, hungry and greedy for her made her body ache for him in ways she did not want to condone, in ways she could not fight. A sigh of craving expelled from her lips again and again and Lucas inhaled her every last breath. His frenzied fingers suddenly grappled at her dress, foraging through the dark material until his fingertips found the silky skin of her thigh.

He knew this wouldn't change things, not to her anyhow, he had just seen the conflict that danced in her eyes. But it did for him, it did change things because she ached for him this way and that said a thousand things whether she denied it or not.

His manic eyes had long since locked with hers and he found himself staring into an abyss of green as his fingers moved slowly upward. And then they were at the inside of her thigh and then they were _there._ He watched her eyelashes flicker shut as he forcefully yanked her underwear aside, roughly dragging one finger over her. She'd been anticipating it, had known it was coming but the sudden invasion that followed had her biting down on her bottom lip in shock.

This was wrong. She didn't want this, but god did it feel good, god had she missed this. Missed him.

He savoured the way her head tilted back, bringing their faces closer together, her lips ghosting across his unintentionally. He cherished the way her face crumpled in pleasure, the way her back arched, pressing herself closer.

'Did he make you feel this good?'

She couldn't speak. Wouldn't speak.

'_God_. You're so tight'

Her eyes snapped open with his groaned words. She could hear the desire in his voice, see it in his eyes, feel it standing to attention against her stomach and just like that her quick approaching pleasure, overrode her every thought, every conflicting emotion and suddenly she was boldly nipping at his bottom lip and then his tongue was quickly darting from between his teeth to meet with hers and she drew it into a desperate, open-mouthed kiss. She didn't care anymore. Not a bit, instead she silently implored him to fuck her harder with his skilled fingers, her free hand gripping at the tree trunk behind her, fingernails digging into the bark.

Gasping, his lips left hers, moving to her ear. 'What else did you let him do?' He ground out gruffly.

She wasn't listening.

Her hips rocked frantically, twisting desperately to force his fingers deeper inside of her. It amazed her how in tune he was with her body, how he managed to make her feel this, how much she ached for him. Only him and she just wanted it to go away.

The hand that was still restraining her right wrist, abruptly freed her, swiftly clamping down on her hip, stilling her against the tree. 'Tell me'

A gasp of exasperation past her lips. This wasn't story-time. He was not doing this. She hated him. Her quivering body screamed out in protest. 'Don't be fucking cruel Luke' She panted. She'd been so close and he'd known it.

'Tell me what else? I want to erase it all. He doesn't belong here' His fingers curled inside her and she shuddered. 'I do'

She groaned, futilely trying to roll her hips against his hindering hold. She wanted to wrap her legs around him, to get even closer but she didn't. 'I stopped it okay? I stopped it cause it wasn't you' She exhaled.

His eyes were glittered with danger, his skin crawling because not for a moment did he think that Felix would let her just walk away.

'And he just let you go?'

'No, I smashed an ornament on his head' She growled. She gripped his forearm, nails pressing into him, silently demanding he continue his ministrations and forget about Felix fucking Taggero.

'That's my girl' His restraining hand at her hip slackened and her head dropped, forehead grinding into his shoulder as his fingers finished what they'd started.

And she was his in that moment. Just his and in a blinding flash of sensation she came apart in his arms, muscles all over her body clenching and then melting into a satisfied refuge.

He watched her face. She was so effortlessly beautiful. He'd once been a little intimidated by that, but when they were like this, when all those perfect little sounds past her lips, it let him know that she was just as attracted to him.

His hand moved from her underwear, drawing soothing patterns on the skin at her hip. 'I need to have you' He murmured in her ear.

It was like a switch being flipped. The anguish pelted down on her with full force and she wished she didn't feel so boneless.

His head tilted to look at her and she shook her head. 'No'

He could feel himself shaking, with lust, frustration, anger. He knew if he could kiss her he could distract her enough, reign her back in. But the spell had been broken and her foot aimlessly hit out, hitting his shin and he hissed his displeasure, stumbling back.

She needed him away from her.

She panted, shaking her head, physically indicating what she'd mentally decided. 'I'm not yours anymore Luke'

Enraged, anger fuelled him.

'I might not have fucked Felix but I've been with other people. You know that'

He did know that. He was trying to forget.

She watched, fear lingering in her eyes as he suddenly began pacing back and forth in front of her like a caged lion, trying to dispel the ache in his lower regions.

'You can't, can't just touch me like that' She wanted to scream that she wasn't strong enough to fight him when he touched her like that, that it wasn't fair that he could rule her body in the way that he did. She knew it wasn't his fault, new that it was just the way it was but she hated the constant battle she was having. Mind verses body and he wasn't helping.

His erratic emotions had him all over the place. There were so many things he wanted to say, he wanted to give her a piece of his mind and then the next moment he found himself wanting to grovel at her feet.

She put a hand down on the tree behind her, trying to steady herself. But it wasn't enough to feel grounded.

She needed to get away from him. The leaves crunched on the ground as she astutely past him on wobbly limbs and his blood began to boil once more. He wasn't finished here. He didn't want to go back up to the house and be surrounded by all those people. He didn't want to fake smiles and make small talk.

He took two deep calming breaths, telling himself to think rationally.

Tears pooled in her hurt eyes as she marched determinedly toward the house, she didn't want him to see her cry, wouldn't let him. She couldn't ever let him know how much walking away from him affected her. It hurt. It hurt so much. As she stumbled her way half-blinded by the tears that she refused to let cascade down her cheeks, she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Of how they'd gone from getting along amicably to having a screaming match to letting him do _that_. She didn't know how she'd let it escalate. She refused to let the stupid gnawing in the pit of her stomach ruin her objective; to leave. But it was hard. Because Lucas was the best relationship she'd ever had. The only. But this game they were playing was not harmless, it was toxic.

He didn't follow her, he didn't know how he managed to restrain himself, didn't know how he'd let it happen. He'd fucked up so badly in so many ways, and didn't know what to do about it. She was the center of his existence, anchoring him even when she was pushing him far away. She was at the centre of his world, it was everything, _she_ was everything and she always had been. With that realisation, that epiphany, he hesitated. He wanted to be someone worthy of her, even if that meant she was never his again, because he couldn't live in a world knowing that she hated him. He needed to have her in his life, if all she gave was her grace and friendship, so be it. It was something. Maybe he would take that friendship after all. Only after everything that had just taken place, he wasn't so sure friendship would even be on the table anymore.


	26. Fighting for You

**A/N** Thanks for the reviews guys, I know updates haven't been consistent so I really don't deserve them! It's always nice to read that you're still with me and they've pushed me to keep going, so thanks!

'Oh' Brooke jumped, pausing in the doorway of her and Julian's room. 'You're here'

Peyton stood from the window seat, her crumpled dress falling over her legs as she did so, the rosy blush at her cheeks spreading down her neck. She'd wanted nothing more than to run from this house and go back to New York. But she couldn't find it within herself to bail on the brunette before her, especially not after the scene she'd caused. Especially when this weekend was meant to be about Brooke, was meant to be celebrating her engagement.

'How's Haley?' Peyton asked sheepishly. 'Is she okay? I swear Brooke I didn't know she was pregnant and I didn't mean-'

'She's fine' Brooke threw her hand out dismissively, cutting off Peyton's frantic rambling. 'Pissed off but fine. I don't doubt that whatever she said warranted you pushing her in the pool Peyt, granted you could have done it before I was just about to introduce you to Julian's parents'

'Parents? Oh god. They saw that?' She wrung her hands together.

Brooke bit her lip in a futile effort to kill the amused smile that was curling her lips.

Peyton's apologetic expression crumpled into one of confusion, her brow furrowing. 'Why aren't you mad at me?'

'I know Hales, I love her but god can she be judgemental and when she's on her high horse about something she can be a right bitch' Brooke walked further into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, preoccupying her fingers with undoing the straps of her shoes. 'What did she say?'

'She was implying that I made Luke's heart deteriorate' Peyton sighed.

'Of course she was' Brooke murmured. 'Ignore her Peyton. You know that's not true'

Surprised by her friend's understanding, Peyton stood dumbly in the middle of the room. 'I fucked up your party'

Brooke looked up at her, wriggling her now freed toes and shoving her heels to one side. 'Are you kidding? You made our party, I was actually getting bored until then-'

'You asked me to be on my best behaviour Brooke and I just-'

'Forget it. Sure you caused a little bit of a scene but it made this weekend memorable' The newly engaged designer smirked, a twinkle in her eye. 'Seriously. It really doesn't matter...so, you and Luke talked?' Peyton screwed up her face. 'What's with the face?'

'Oh Brooke' The distressed blonde exclaimed, her fingers running agitatedly through her tangled tresses. 'I may as well of let him fuck me'

'What?' Brooke's eyes bugged out.

'We argued' Peyton's voice rose with her distress as she divulged all whilst pacing back and forth before her very interested friend. 'He interrogated me about Felix- he must of seen Felix somewhere because he was under the impression that we're sleeping together and one minute I'm screaming and he's yelling and then the next his hand is in my pants- why're you grinning god damn it?'

'Because!' Brooke exclaimed. 'God I'm trying to stay out of it, I'm trying to just be supportive of you both but I'm totally team Leyton'

'Team what?'

'Leyton. You know Peyton and Lucas, Leyton'

Peyton's forehead creased as she regarded Brooke.

'You know, like brad and Angelina, Brangelina'

'I get it. It's just it's weird. Don't do it'

'Well I can't stop. I've been team Leyton for a while now'

'Brooke'

'He loves you. I've kept my mouth shut-'

'Why don't you continue doing that'

'Because! I thought you'd come back and talk and then just get back together but I'm getting impatient'

'You think I'm overreacting?'

'No. Not at all. I didn't say that. He hurt you and you have the right to be bitter honey but you're in love with this guy, four and a half months ago you would have been over the moon if he'd said any of the stuff he's been saying to you over the last week'

'I know. I know that but I...' She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth and the words that followed were quiet and vulnerable. 'I...I'm scared. I'm scared to let him back in. Scared that if the slightest bad thing happens again he's just going to push me away. He made me think he didn't want me, how do I know he really does?'

'He's learnt his lesson sweetie' Brooke sympathetically took her hand and pulled her closer to the bed.

'Has he though? How do I really know that? How do I know he means what he says?'

'You don't. But that's where the whole trust thing comes in'

'I trusted him before! He made me trust him and look how well that turned out'

'I know. But look, before you met Luke, you lived in a world where you trusted no one. You weren't happy. And even though the two of you have had your troubles, aren't you glad for every second you've spent with him?'

Peyton flopped back onto the large double bed, the covers bouncing as her head hit the pillow. 'Yes' She muttered quietly. 'I just... he hurt me Brooke. More so than anyone ever has before and people have let me down my whole life, I just... I guess I never thought he would be one of them and it's hard for me to just, just let go of that. You know?' She sighed heavily. 'As bitchy as it is, maybe I'm enjoying making him hurt a bit'

'Oh he does hurt honey. He's been hurting every moment that he's been away from you' Brooke vouched.

'Good' She put her hand over her eyes, trying to close herself off to the mental crisis that had her over thinking every last detail. 'God. Before I came back here I'd accepted that we were done, I expected to come back and for him to be over me. I went away thinking he didn't want anything to do with me!'

'You still love him though right?'

Peyton looked at her through her fingers. 'I've never been in love before Brooke, how am I supposed to recognise if this is really real or not? There's no fucking person you can go and see who can tell you that you're meant to be with someone. But I do have countless examples of love gone wrong. My own mum and dad fell for each other and they're completely unsuitable, what if me and Luke are just my parents of the world?'

'Peyton. I get it. Everything that's happened between you two. It's like a load of warning sirens going off in your head, you're thinking it's a sign that this isn't meant to be' Brooke crawled up the bed beside her and gently pushed Peyton's hair away from her face. 'I know you've had a lot to think through and sure, it might not work out, no one can see the future but what've you got to loose by giving him another chance?'

'Everything' Peyton grumbled. She didn't like the idea of reliving the last five months, if she was in denial so what? It was better than the sharp pain in her gut that he'd made her feel. Before Lucas she'd been able to cope with sadness, been able to compartmentalise and save face. If anything affected her no one had known, outwardly she seemed to be coping well but that wasn't the case with Lucas. Her heartbreak had turned her into a blubbering mess and she hadn't enjoyed the world seeing her so vulnerable.

'That's not true. You've got nothing to loose, just everything to gain'

'Yeah and I gain it and then it all gets fucked up again and I loose it. It's not meant to be that hard. Look at you and Julian. Anyone can clearly see you're meant for each other'

Brooke laughed.

'What?'

'It's just, everyone thinks that about you and Lucas. Every single person out there earlier, their eyes weren't on Haley in the pool, they were all fixated on Lucas dragging you away because it's undeniable'

Peyton pushed herself up, leaning on her forearms, apparently deaf to her friends words. 'Maybe it's just physical. You know? I mean we've always been really physically attracted to each other, that's how it started, maybe that's all it is, maybe we're just fuck buddies, that's all our relationship really ever was, a succession of one night stands.'

'Jesus christ' Brooke stood upright suddenly, flailing her hands in despair. 'I think I'm making progress and then you leap five steps backwards. Seriously Peyton?' She rose to her feet, her voice rising an octave with her frustration. 'You can kid yourself thinking you're just missing sex with him but I know you better than that. You're missing just being in his company too. He's wanted to save you from the first moment he set eyes on you and you finally let him and you bought him back to life. He was dark, you were dark but together you bring out the best of each other. You two can talk without speaking, it's more than just sex' She took a deep breath and walked over to her open wardrobe. 'Peyton I'm worried, I'm worried that if you walk away from this, from him, that it will be the hugest mistake you ever make. Just think about it?' She looked to Peyton. 'He doesn't just want you, he wants forever with you'

Peyton listened with quiet wonder, spellbound by the portrait Brooke painted with such certainty. She'd spent so long refraining from imagining a life spent, shared with someone, the idea had been so foreign. But everything Brooke said she understood now somehow, it made something inside her grow warm and tender. She wanted what Brooke was describing, she wanted forever and she secretly knew that she was missing all of him when she should only be missing him sexually. She missed the little conversations they'd shared, she missed confiding in him and that had been a huge deal for her. She missed his teasing. She missed the way he wasn't afraid to argue with her.

'I'm going to shower and change for dinner' Brooke announced, taking two dresses from the closet 'If you could refrain from pushing anymore of my guests in the pool for the remainder of the evening that would be most appreciated' She taunted over her shoulder with a smile. 'And seriously avoid Haley at all costs. Oh and put this on, I may have packed it with you in mind. Luke won't know what hit him'

Peyton sighed as Brooke disappeared into the adjoining ensuite and the deep crimson garment hit her, pooling over her sprawled out legs.

She didn't want to talk to him anymore this weekend, especially after what had happened. She groaned loudly.

'Get moving!' Brooke's voice rasped bossily from behind the closed door.

Peyton contemplatively looked down at the dress and then was unzipping her current attire; she may not have been ready to acknowledge her feelings, nor want to speak to him but she definitely wasn't apposed to him staring at her all night.

* * *

'Hello?' Peyton dropped her bag in the hallway. She was tired and miserable and confused and was regretting her spontaneous decision to move out of her apartment because right now she just wanted to be by herself, just wanted to figure things out in her head. She was spared that luxury though. Brooke had insistently told her that she were welcome to come back to theirs but the revelation of their engagement this weekend had left Peyton wanting to give them some much warranted privacy.

'Peyton?'

She jumped in surprise as both her parents appeared. 'Darling' She was suddenly swaddled by arms.

'Woah. Okay. Let me breathe guys'

'It's been nearly six months' Mick exhaled. 'Without a word. Nothing. What were you thinking?' He pulled away, scowling but Ellie held on.

'I left a message on your answer machine, it's not like I vanished without a word' She defended.

'It would've been nice if you'd checked in from time to time' Ellie murmured.

Her caring voice was grating, further ruffling Peyton's already irritable mood.

'Mum' she shrugged her off. 'I'm a big girl. You would disappear for months at a time when I was a kid. I never got a phone call'

'I wasn't allowed to call when I was at...those places- I was unwell'

'Well I wasn't that great either before I left not that you'd have noticed, I went away to sort my head out' She muttered.

'We did notice. And did you?' Mick wondered.

'Sort of' She begrudgingly admitted.

'Come sit down. Come sit' Ellie was suddenly dragging her into the living area and ushering her onto a sofa. 'We went to your apartment, we heard you were back; they said you've moved out?'

'Oh yeah. I've been with Brooke this weekend and am going to stay at hers until I find a place but I wanted to give them a few days to themselves. I thought I'd stop by here before I go to a hotel-'

'Well you can stay here, of course you can. You know that'

'I know...So what's been happening here? What's happened with your trial?'

'The man that I hit didn't press charges so I was let off with a caution providing I went to this rehab facility'

'Of course you were' She rolled her eyes disapprovingly.

Ellie Wolf could not win with her daughter on the best of occasions but today she didn't have a chance. Peyton's inability to acknowledge her feelings and insistent desire to instead block Lucas from her thoughts (a near impossible task) was resulting in her volatile mood.

'You're boyfriend came here' Mick suddenly announced, eager to steer the topic away from his wife's troubles.

'He's not my boyfriend...wait a minute. He came here? Lucas?'

'Yes, after you left. He wondered if we had a way of contacting you. I told him I'd be damned if I was going to let him hurt my daughter anymore' Ellie informed her dramatically. Peyton raised her brow. 'He was so rude. Wasn't he rude Mick?'

'Mm' Mick muttered absently, suddenly more interested in the basket ball game that was playing on the flat screen tv in the background.

'He told me it was a bit late to be playing the selfless mother' Peyton turned away, biting her lip to disguise the approving smile that was daring to show. 'The nerve of him. You're better off without him honey. I'm going to fix us some drinks and food' Ellie clapped her hands together and in a flurry of movement was on her feet and out of the room.

'She's...upbeat'

'Mm. She has been for a few days, she's been hoping you'd turn up. She misses you more than you know'

Her anger and frustration toward her mother dwindled with her father's statement, instead the predictable guilt took hold. She sighed.

'So Lucas?' Mick pulled her into his side, muting the tv and running his hand over her head. 'You seen him?'

'Mhm'

'So you're-'

'It's complicated' She cut in.

'He loves you kido. Even I can see that'

'Dad don't. You're like the last person I want relationship advice from okay?' She stood up and walked over to the fire place and he watched her slender figure hunch over the mantel shelf.

'Darling I know we've not always been the best parents but it's never to late to start. So yeah, I hate the kid for hurting you but you were a hell of a lot happier when you were with him, I know that much. And I just want you to be happy. That's all I want. That's all your mother wants'

'I am happy Dad' She grumbled.

'Yeah. You've made a lot of brave steps over the last year and I'm really proud of you but-'

'Can we not talk about this please?' She turned around abruptly and forced a bright smile.

He sighed. 'Sure honey. Whatever you want'

She sat down coyly on the piano stool and let her hand run across the keys. 'I know you don't like me touching this...but...come play with me...it's what I want' She requested softly. The guitar had always been his favourite instrument but still he'd always scolded her when she'd been growing up and her little hands had tampered with _his_ piano. He'd quickly provided her with her own to avoid such scenarios, but there was something about the old piano that always drew her in. She liked all the creaky noises it made, liked that her father refused to let anyone tune it, liked that some notes sounded completely wrong.

He perched beside her. 'It's not that I don't like you touching it, I don't like how much better you are than me' He teased.

She blushed and shook her head. 'I'm not'

'Yes. You are. I knew, I knew the first time you sat down on this thing and just played away in a manger. No music. You're hands just knew where to go.' He smiled fondly at the memory. 'But I never wanted you to follow in my footsteps. I never wanted that for my daughter. I didn't want you to be in the lime light but you've ended up there anyway'

'You say things like that Dad. Like it was beyond your control. You could've stopped me. I was only fifteen' She softly argued.

He nodded. 'I know. And I'll forever be sorry that I wasn't stricter with you. That I wasn't firmer with your mother' His nostrils flared as he exhaled heavily. 'I should have been here more often. It was so easy to give in, to surrender to the both of you when I wasn't here, if I was away. I just felt guilty for being so far from you. So any way I could put a smile on yours and your mother's faces I did it' He noted. 'In retrospect I see that I wasn't putting a smile on your face at all' He turned to face her. 'I heard you're quitting your friends company? No more modelling?'

She nodded with a small smile. 'No more modelling Dad'

'I can't tell you how happy that makes me sweetheart'

She blushed again. 'Just...just play me something Dad. It's all I want right now'

'Whatever you want darling'

* * *

Lucas was surprised to say the least when he walked into Brooke's office on thursday morning to find Peyton sat behind the desk.

He literally stopped dead before slowly backing up, trying to sneak back through the door undeterred. He wasn't ready nor mentally prepared to be in her presence. The last two run ins they'd had, had not ended as he'd foreseen in his head, in fact they'd not ended well at all; after what had happened in the woodland at Brooke and Julian's they'd not spoken a word. He'd spent the remainder of the weekend watching her parade around in a dark crimson dress that had had him wanting to drag her away from the party once more. But he'd refrained. He didn't feel they were getting any nearer to resolving their issues considering they couldn't actually seem to sit down and have a grown up conversation about it without it ending up in a screaming or make out session.

'Why're you here?' Her voice shattered his escape.

'Er...Brooke wanted to have lunch...' His throat constricted and he gulped nervously. 'Well at least that's what she told me, I see it may have been more of a set up' Lucas countered. A sudden anxiety had developed deep in his chest when it came to Peyton, a numbing discomfort that apparently only manifested when she was on his brain. Which was a lot. A lot, a lot.

Peyton nodded knowingly, tilting her head to the side as she regarded him. She should have known it wouldn't have taken long before Brooke started to meddle and try and make her team Leyton fantasies become a reality. Regardless of whatever plans her friend was putting in motion, she was determined for this not to be awkward. 'It's my last day' She announced suddenly.

'Last day?' He shoved his hands in his pockets. He wanted to say a million things but what with all the arguing, what with the words she'd said to him at their last meeting, ever clear in his mind, _I'm not yours anymore Luke,_ He thought better of saying anything remotely unsafe. He'd let her do all the talking.

'I'm just signing some paperwork and shit'

His eyes squinted down at her. 'You, you're leaving the company? B Davis?'

'You look upset. Wasn't it you who declared you didn't want me modelling?' She raised one eyebrow in questioning. She wanted him to think this was okay. She needed him to think this was a good idea because god if he didn't she knew she would't be able to stop herself from doubting her decision because his opinion mattered massively to her. As much as she tried to pretend otherwise.

'I'm not upset. Not in the slightest. Surprised. You're giving up modelling altogether?'

'Mhm' She smiled softly to herself. 'Brooke said if I didn't leave she'd fire me'

'She wouldn't have done that'

'Yes. Yes she would. Because she, she's my friend' Her eyes sparkled. 'She knows I don't like it. She says I have so much more to give'

'You do. You have. You're not just a beautiful face' He blurted. 'You're good at so many things Peyton and you don't even know it'

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment and then she turned away.

He swallowed. Had he over stepped the mark? He feared he was loosing her. 'Are you still coming on Friday?' He asked abruptly, desperately trying to keep her engaged.

'Yes'

'That's, that makes me really happy Peyton'

'It's not for you' She said brashly.

'Right' He couldn't define the feeling that swooped down on him, but it wasn't the greatest. He couldn't say it didn't hurt. There had been a tiny part of him that was hoping, wishing, that maybe after a few days she'd have had time to calm down, to forgive him, to be glad about all the words that had transpired between them. However, that was vastly overshadowed by the part of him that was beating himself up for practically forcing himself on her at Brooke and Julian's engagement weekend. It didn't matter to him that she hadn't said no, he'd known she'd been conflicted, known if he hadn't been so persistent she'd probably have walked away, probably not wanted him touching her. Knowing that made it all wrong and he didn't want it to be wrong. He shook himself from his remorseful thinking '...still, it means a lot to me just the same'

'I need to go'

'I thought you said you needed to fill in some papers-'

'I can do it another day'

She stood up and grabbed her purse and was out the door before he could even comprehend her hasty departure. He stared after her. The only thing he could focus on was the sinking feeling in his stomach and the painful, inexplicable feeling that he'd officially lost something.

* * *

She'd thought that her uncaring act with Lucas would continue to make her feel better but yesterday afternoon his face had been different, there'd been something new seeping into his expression, something that resembled discontentment and sadness, something that had made her come away feeling guilty. She'd always been such a great liar, it came effortlessly, it was a defence mechanism in a way and she was always so completely cool. But this lie was different. This lie had her turning into a hot, bumbling mess. She was lying to herself and to Lucas about her true feelings, persistently trying to ignore the way she felt. And as she got out of the limo and saw him for the first time on the red carpet she had to work hard to keep herself composed because he looked sick. He was pale and he wasn't his normally poised self, his shoulders hunched with nerves and she wanted nothing more than to save him from the media circus that faced them.

She found these things so easy, all she had to do was walk down the carpet and smile at the cameras but she could see that Lucas was not finding the whole affair to be all that enjoyable.

'So what's the story with you and blue eyed boy?'

Peyton tore her eyes away from Lucas to look down at Roary. The teenager had been more than a little excited when Peyton suggested she keep her company to this event, even more so when Brooke had dressed her in a long flowing blue gown that made her feel every bit a princess.

'There is no story'

'Really cause he's fucking you with his eyes right now'

'Roary!' Peyton glowered but her eyes skittered to Lucas and then Roary bit her lip to stifle a giggle.

'What?'

'You can't stay stuff like that, not on a red carpet' Peyton declared in a hissed whisper.

'Hey you can't lecture me. Not when you attend these things sans underwear'

'Hey. I never do that' Peyton grumbled with a roll of her eyes.

'Whatever...so...his name's Lucas right? He's real cute... are you two...?'

'Nothing okay. We dated. He's a jerk. We're finished. The end. Now can we concentrate on something else please'

'Touchy much'

'Look can we just concentrate in getting inside and watching the movie. I asked you to come to this to make it slightly bearable and distract me. Not to interrogate me'

'Is Peyton being a cow Roary?' Brooke and Julian were suddenly beside them, the brunette's eyes twinkling devilishly as she surveyed them both. 'Just ignore her. I do...why don't you come with me' Brooke chanted, outstretching her hand to the teen.

'I am not being a cow' Peyton contended in a hushed mutter as Brooke dragged Roary off.

'She's just teasing' Julian laughed. 'I'm glad you came'

'Mm. I'm wishing I hadn't'

'Well thanks for the support Miss Wolf'

'I'm sorry' She gushed, shaking her head 'Of course I want to be here, you know it's just...' Her eyes trailed over to Lucas. 'God he really sucks at this red carpet thing'

'Yeah...he looks like he's going to keel over and have a heart attack at any given moment-'

'That's not even funny Julian' She scowled.

'Wasn't trying to be. Maybe you should go over there and hold his hand'

Peyton rolled her eyes at his suggestion. 'Not you too. Has Brooke got you implementing some _team __Leyton_ scheme?' She drawled wearily.

He chuckled. 'Not quite. Seriously, you'd be doing me a huge favour. I don't really want to spend my premiere in A&E' He screwed up his face as he regarded Lucas once more. 'Can you seriously watch him? It's painful. Go help the poor guy out'

'Like I'm going to be able to change anything-'

'Oh please. If you go over there he'll just see you' He mocked. 'Because he only has eyes for you'

She groaned dramatically, stepping away from him. 'I'm only doing this so I don't have to listen to anymore of your bullshit' She complained.

He smiled in her wake, catching Brooke's eye across the crowd and sending her a jubilant wink.

* * *

Lucas felt utterly out of his element here.

His ratcheting nervousness was caused by a combination of things; his worries about how the film would be received, his dislike for being at the centre of attention but perhaps mostly because Peyton was standing four metres away from him in a breath taking dark, emerald gown and he didn't know how he'd be received by her, let alone the rest of the world.

She glanced in his direction as she got out of the car but she barely even acknowledged him, her eyes making a quick assessment and then she was looking through him, like he wasn't even there and it numbed him. She was so hot and cold it was beginning to give him whiplash. From the moment he'd met her she'd disrupted his life in the best possible way only now it was different. Now she was a hurricane on the war path to punish him in every which way she could. Well that's what it felt like because she was saying one thing and doing another. She'd as much as told him they were done when they'd argued at Brooke and Julian's party and then all but a couple of hours later she'd reappeared in a red gown that she'd proceeded to flaunt in his face. He'd told himself he was reading too much into everything but he knew her. Knew she wanted him to look at her. Knew she wanted him to want her.

Another succession of flashes had him flinching, blinded and instinctively backing up. He didn't have a clue how she could stand this. How she'd grown up in a world where this was the norm. He wasn't enjoying the attention and every camera that faced him felt like a barrel of a gun. Maybe he was being dramatic but his anxiety was at an all time high.

'Lucas'

A small, soft hand within his own made him jump. His eyes averted from the camera's, rounding as he looked at her. Standing beside him.

'What're you doing?' He looked down at their joined hands, confusion painting his face.

'Saving you' She said simply, confidence reigning her body. She made this, all of this look so easy.

'But-'

'There is no buts Luke, you've saved me more times than I can count. Let me save you from this' She muttered and her voice was warm, affectionate, calm.

He beamed. Literally. With her on the end of his arm, none of this seemed so daunting.

'There's really nothing to it'

'Right'

Her hand glued with his, she began to walk them back toward the mass of photographers.

'Wait, me too?'

'Yes Luke'

'But-'

'You want to get off of this carpet right?'

He nodded needlessly.

'So let me make this as quick and painless as it needs to be. As soon as they've got some pictures we can do a detour and skip the rest of the press'

Her face stayed focused on the camera's before her and she donned an effortless smile.

'Don't look at me' She muttered through her teeth. 'Look ahead and smile'

But he couldn't stop looking at her and his intense stare soon had her head tilting to face him and she felt a tingle run right up her spine and she reveled in the sensation, letting it consume her, letting it momentarily banish the many other people that she was sure were looking at them. The intensity of his gaze pierced through her, made her mouth dry and she briefly wondered if she'd taken on his dumbstruck stare and now looked like the awkward one. She swallowed, everything she'd been so desperately trying to repress crashed down in an avalanche upon her, ruthless and unyielding. She still loved him. Of course she did. How could she not. This wasn't fake. In this moment she didn't know how she'd ever been doubting it. This was real. It had to be because her heart did not race like it was right now for anyone but him.

She looked away most abruptly. This wasn't the best place to be having an epiphany. He stopped shaking as her thumb ran soothingly over the back of his hand. Everyone else dissolved. It was just them.

* * *

'Hey Roary. I'm Lucas I don't know if you remember me?'

'You're the screenwriter' She shifted her weight to one side as she looked up at him.

'Yes, yes I am. I'm glad you came tonight, you look lovely'

She tilted her head to the side and her long dark hair fell over her face, hiding her smile.

'Did you enjoy the film?'

'It was amazing' She nodded, looking up at him through dark lashes.

'Yeah?'

'Uhuh'

'Well I'm glad you enjoyed it' He smiled. 'I don't suppose you've seen Peyton around?' The teenager grimaced somewhat. 'I take it she's not said the greatest things about me huh?' He chuckled.

'She said you're a jerk'

He nodded. 'Well that's progress. I'm sure I was being called a dickhead last weekend. I don't suppose you want to keep me company?' He gestured to two empty seats.

She smiled shyly. 'I'd like that'

He figured if he stayed put with her, not only would he be able to keep the kid company but also had a better chance of stumbling across Peyton again. He'd barely seen her since they'd got inside the theatre and then when the film had finished everything had been a blur of people clapping and then he was whisked away and now he was here, celebrating with all the people that had made this possible and for a while that had been nice, more than nice but his mind was soon back on Peyton and where she was and when he'd be able to thank her for what she'd done for him out there today. Because it had been a huge deal to him and he'd been failing miserably and she'd fixed everything.

'So have you had a good night?' He sat down beside her.

'Uhuh, well to tell you the truth I'm a little bored now'

He smiled. 'Yeah. It is a little boring huh, especially when you don't many people'

'Peyton knows everyone'

'Mm, probably not as well as you'd think. She's just good at talking to people'

'I wish I was like her. Everyone wants to talk to her' She looked down at her lap.

'Hey, you're wonderful just as you are' He touched her hand and leaned closer so he could look into her face. 'Don't let anyone tell you differently. This world is not as glamourous as you probably think it is Roary' She timidly looked up at him. 'Okay?

She didn't answer and Lucas' brow furrowed with concern but just as he was about to ask her if she were okay she lent forward and her lips were suddenly on his. Startled, he froze momentarily but he quickly came to. 'Woah' He reeled back and the teenager looked up at him with mortification.

'Oh god'

'Roary...listen. I, I'm really touched okay? But I'm in love with Peyton, plus, I'm way too old for you' Lucas narrowed the wide gap that he'd made between them, his hand gently rubbing up and down her forearm.

'I'm so stupid' Roary blinked frantically and looked up at him through bleary brown eyes. 'So stupid'

Caught up in Roary's muttered ramblings, he failed to notice Peyton materialize before them.

She stood there for a few moments and just stared, stared incredulously at the people in front of her.

Blinking, thinking that perhaps if she did so enough times she'd wake up from this twisted situation.

It had been her intention to leave, to grab Roary, slip quietly away and take her for some ice cream or something. She couldn't further ignore the snide comments that were being aimed at her; apparently her little act on the red carpet had appeared as a publicity stunt, appeared as though she'd not been able to stop herself from stealing the limelight and she just wasn't in the mood for anymore. Because no one had a clue_. _Because that so wasn't it.

'Peyton' Lucas stood abruptly having noticed her paralysed form. He stared at her, watched as her expression went from shell-shocked to her nose screwing up as she desperately tried not to break down.

He quickly deduced that she'd misinterpreted what was going on here.

'Peyton' He shook his head.

But she was already backing up. The hurt that had been so clear just seconds ago, now gone. Instead her eyes were consumed with rage. He could almost see it bubbling beneath the surface.

'We were just talking'

Objectivity suddenly came a knocking and she closed her eyes, recognising that she was being totally absurd in her assumptions. This wasn't what it looked like, Lucas wouldn't do that. Surely. She became even more flustered and irritated with her judgements because she didn't want to even care but she did, had. She cared so much that his lips had just touched someone that wasn't her.

The sense of betrayal had been quick to crush down on her, betrayal that she rationally didn't think she had any business in feeling.

She turned abruptly. Her hair whipping through the air as she stumbled away quickly.

She had no right to feel betrayal, no reason to feel annoyed, to feel angry.

Anyone who saw her wouldn't have known she was panicking. She looked cool, calm, and perfectly collected as she weaved her way through the celebrating crowd, whisked a champagne glass off one of the trays and made a beeline for the nearest exit.

'Peyton'

She was vaguely aware of his voice behind her but concentrated on knocking her drink back and blocking out the hustle and bustle of her surroundings.

'Peyton'

Freedom. The fire exit door clunked loudly behind her, muffling the noise from inside. Instead she was enveloped in the noises of New York. Taxis beeping. Non stop traffic. Headlights made patterns on the wall as they past in a hurry.

She walked a couple of paces down the side ally, shuddering in the cool, night air. It bought relief. But that relief was short lived because he was suddenly there, grappling at her arm.

'Peyton'

'Get off me'

'Peyton come on'

'She's not even sixteen!' Her eyes were dark, but she didn't look angry anymore. She looked defeated, resigned, kind of like she'd expected this. Expected his attentions to waver, expected to be disappointed. Expected him to find some other girl. Lucas hung his head in shame. It crushed him because he knew he'd done this to her and he couldn't bare looking at the beautiful girl he'd broken. He'd instilled that mistrust, and it was infuriating because it had taken him so long to convince her that he could be trusted.

'Peyton I wasn't- she, she's just a kid- of course I wasn't, I was just letting her down gently, I didn't want to embarrass her'

Peyton turned, pressing her forehead into the brick wall, her heart thrumming in her chest. She didn't know why she felt so sick. She didn't want to doubt his words, but then he'd said a lot of things and done a lot of things to make her doubt him.

'Christ I wouldn't do that to her, I know you know that and I sure as hell wouldn't do that to you' He stepped forward and her face crumpled when his hand moved round her svelte waist.

'Don't'

He ignored her protest.

'Don't be mad at me. It seriously wasn't what it looked like. Don't be mad at her either, she's just a school girl. And you're helping her, she needs your help' He began rubbing slow circles from her hip down to her thigh and her stiff body relaxed, melting back against his chest. She silently scorned herself for being so weak. She couldn't fight him, couldn't fight his touch, it was all too tempting.

'Turn your head'

He was somewhat surprised when she actually did as he said, turning her face towards him. Her eyes were closed as her face came into view and he could see a tear that had settled on her cheek. Her lips were parted slightly and he wanted nothing more than to close the distance between their mouths.

'Baby look at me' He husked.

His plea drew the air from her lungs, that one simple plea was all it took.

Her eyelashes flickered as her lids opened and he was right there, so close, his blue eyes so caring as they looked down at her.

His stare drifted from her large green eyes to her lips and then back again in a silent question. A silent plea.

'I've only got eyes for you. Don't you know that yet?'

She swallowed thickly and he watched her tilt her head slightly and he must of seen something in her expression that gave him courage to take the risk and close the narrow space between their faces, slowly leaning forward, his lips whispering against hers.

She didn't move. He pulled back a fraction to see two pools of green, wide and staring. Her expression gave away nothing and she said not a single word but her next movement said a thousand things. She rose up on her toes and slowly lent in, her eyes staying locked with his. It was almost tormentingly slow, her nose brushing against his before their lips came together once more and it wasn't hesitant as his had been, she really kissed him. It was slow at first, mouthes closed, just a gentle caress of lips on lips but then her mouth was pressing to his assertively, like a match to a spark. He recovered from his initial shock quickly, kissing her back languidly over her shoulder.

'Mm' He groaned, kissing her harder, her mouth reciprocating in a flutter of movement, her lips slipping against his with the intensity of all the feelings she'd been keeping bottled up.

Heat engulfed him, exploding in his chest. A mixture of hope and excitement itching inside of him but he stayed restrained, refrained from turning her around and pushing her up against the wall. The hand that wasn't snaked around her waist ventured to gently hold her own. He pulled at her top lip with his teeth, persuading her mouth to open. Suddenly, she pulled away and he could hear her gasping for air and smiled because he knew she felt it too. She couldn't hide it. He buried his face in her hair to hide his ridiculous grin and pressed tiny kisses to her neck as she rested her head back against him. Her already harsh breathing got louder until she was practically moaning.

'God, I want you...' He groaned.

'You can't have me. Let me go'

His right hand left hers and was suddenly at her face, directing her face back to his and moving quickly before she separated herself from this moment.

'Stop it' He growled. He didn't want to play this game anymore. His fingers smoothed over her cheek and then not a second later his thumb was at her chin, pulling down and forcing her lips to part just a little.

She gasped and her breath was suddenly in his mouth; the taste of champagne lingering and he wanted more. Wanted to taste and feel more.

She moaned softly as his tongue slipped over hers and was certain that in that moment she'd never wanted anyone more than she wanted Lucas. It had been going on six months that she'd not been with him and was certain she'd go out of her mind if she didn't allow herself him soon. Her tongue swept over his and he felt such triumph because he was no longer the one pressing her for this, no longer gently persuading her, it was all give and take, he may have been the one to initially kiss her but she was kissing him.

He turned her around abruptly and took a step closer to her, pressing her close, trapping her against the wall. His hand moved to cradle the back of her head, fingers fisting in her styled hair and tugging to angle her head better. She groaned. The kiss spiraled on into heated desperation. She licked his bottom lip and her hands moved up his sculpted chest to his shoulders, hanging on.

He was the one to pull back this time 'Come home with me' He panted out in a whisper.

'Ughh' She exhaled a breathy moan and Lucas knew it was a moan of frustration but it sounded so low and sexy that he couldn't help but smile into her neck before pressing a kiss to the spot under her ear. 'Why're you so damned good at this?' She whimpered, hands sliding up the side of his neck, cupping his jaw, then back until her fingers twisted in the hair at the back of his head.

He smirked, softly kissing a trail up her neck to the hollow under her jaw line 'Come home with me' He repeated.

'Luke that won't fix anything' She knew all this physical touching was just complicating things in her mind so much so that sleeping with him would definitely complicate matters. She wanted to be strong, she didn't want to be weak and give in to the secret hunger in her heart but was finding it hard to put her thoughts into action because he was soon shutting her up with his mouth back on hers, hoping that he could persuade her that this wasn't such a bad idea.

He pressed his hips against hers, digging his fingers into her sides to hold her there.

Her head dropped back a little and he didn't relent, not for a second, kissing the corner of her mouth, her temple, her cheek, silently hoping she was imagining the feel of his mouth on other parts of her body, as he was 'You're coming home with me'

Her eyes screwed shut and she shook her head with a sigh. 'No I'm not'

'Peyton'

'No' She pushed against his shoulders and he stumbled back begrudgingly.

He ached for more than what she was giving him. A part of him knew there was something wrong with his line of thinking, knew she was right because they needed to work out their problems before they did this but his lust fuelled haze had him unable to focus on his niggling conscious.

'You're killing me. Do you know that?' He complained.

'You do look a little frustrated' She noted, her voice suddenly taunting and he didn't appreciate it.

'So un-frustrate me. Now. Come home'

She tucked her hair behind her ear and the little action had him wanting to pin her back against the wall, that and the little satisfied glint in her eye. This was definitely a dangerous game.

'You're just going to have to un-frustrate yourself tonight'

'How long are you going to punish me for? I'm done apologising Peyton. Done grovelling' She didn't say anything. 'But I'm not going to stop fighting for you, not until you tell me to' She stared at him. 'Tell me to stop fighting'

She stopped for a moment, thinking, her mouth open but no words would come and when she finally did speak again, her voice was quieter. 'I have to go check that Roary isn't hitting on some other jerk' She took a few steps away and with her back to him, she quietly murmured, 'The film was great Luke. Really'

He grinned. Because she hadn't told him to stop. She wasn't telling him to stop and that alone filled him with hope that he'd been struggling to find over the last few days.

'I'll be seeing you then' He called. She glanced over her shoulder and her slight nod made this whole night perfect.

* * *

Roary dug her sweaty hands into her arms as she hovered near the exit. Irrational thoughts sparked through her, urging her arm to keep jerking out and retrieving glass after glass of champagne that sat on the side. It felt like she'd been waiting forever and during that time she'd considered doing many stupid things. She hated herself right now. Hated everything about herself and with that thought she dug her nails deeper into her skin, welcoming the discomfort. She'd ruined everything, of that she was sure. But despite it all. Despite her desire to run in the opposite direction and get out of here, something was keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground.

The exit she'd seen both Peyton and Lucas disappear through suddenly opened and the person she was waiting for was suddenly looking straight at her and then she was marching past her. 'Peyton wait. I'm so sorry. Wait, I'm sorry. You said you guys were nothing and I just, he was being nice to me and-'

Peyton stopped and the dark haired teen jarred to a halt behind her, her hasty ramble of words dying as Peyton looked at her severely.

'Lucas is out of bounds okay?'

'Okay' Roary nodded her head vigorously.

'It was a mistake bringing you here. It's my fault. I've been trying to help you and then I bring you to something like this'

'I'm really sorry...he didn't kiss me though. It was me. He pulled away. He said he was in love with you. I'm really sorry Peyton. Really I am...Do you hate me?'

Peyton looked at her and closed her eyes because the big naive brown pair that were looking up at her were that of a kid. A kid that was going to make a thousand mistakes but Peyton had already saved her from making a few regrettable decisions and with that knowledge all her frustration and anger toward the fifteen year older ciphered into nothing.

'No, I don't hate you. I hate what you did tonight' She exhaled heavily through her nose. 'But I also understand'

'Understand?'

'Yes. I've been where you are. I know how it is and god I get what it's like to want to be wanted and Lucas made you feel wanted tonight'

Roary's eyes glistened. 'Why're you being so nice to me?'

Peyton smiled wearily, draping her arm around the younger girl. 'I really don't know. Come on. I'll take you home.'

* * *

'Hey I"m back' Peyton greeted as she let herself into Brooke and Julian's apartment.

'Hey. Roary okay? She looked positively miserable earlier' Brooke wondered as the blonde appeared in the kitchen.

'Mm. We had a bit of a misunderstanding but it's fine now. Are you sure you're good me staying here? I can go to a hotel if you guys want to be alone-'

'No, no. Don't be stupid'

'Where's Julian?'

'Probably asleep, he was knackered'

'Are you sure-'

'Peyton there's four bedrooms and we need one' Brooke flapped her hand assertively, her eyes focused on her laptop screen.

'What're you looking at?'

'Nothing'

Peyton walked round the kitchen island to join her. 'Brooke' She whined, looking over the brunette's shoulder. 'That's not nothing'

'Oh? But you keep saying it is' Brooke teased, as she dragged the image onto her desktop to save it.

Peyton sighed as she looked at the snap from the night. She wasn't interested in the speculation written around it, her eyes instead lingering on the way Lucas was looking so intently down at her. The way she'd naturally lent into him. The feel of his arm around her, hand possessively at her waist. 'We look good together' She muttered absently.

Brooke smirked. 'Yes, yes you do. You know, what you did was really sweet. He was dying out there'

'He needed me'

'Yeah, he does need you. A lot.'

'I'm ignoring that'

'Fine. Did you guys talk at all tonight?'

'No, not really'

She refrained from mentioning the kiss they'd shared. 'Can we just, can we not talk about this'

'Fine'

'What's this? Peyton prodded the thick manuscript that sat on the sideboard.

'Oh nothing' Brooke murmured coyly, watching Peyton's intrigued expression.

'Nothing?'

'Just a draft of Luke's'

'Just a draft?' She repeated like a mindless dummy.

'Uhuh. Just something he's been working on. It's about this girl. She, she's kind of like you, I wonder where he got his inspiration' Brooke mocked.

'Like me?'

'Mmm'

'Why do you have it?'

'He just wanted my opinion on a few things'

'You've read it?'

'Yep. Couldn't put the damn thing down'

'Can I...can I read it?'

'Of course. Although I don't know if you should'

'Why?'

'Well A he said if I let anyone see it he'd have to kill me and whoever saw it and B, I know the second you do you'll forgive him for everything and I know how much you don't want to do that'

Peyton lapsed into silence, staring at the thick wad of papers, her fingers twitching at her sides for the longest of moments but then, in a brisk movement she snatched it up.

Brooke grinned as she all but scurried away. 'I'll make you some coffee shall I? You're going to be up all night'


	27. Chapter 27

He blinked into the dim light as another bash at the door had the beer on the coffee table quivering.

He glanced at his watch. 12.15 am. He must have dozed off. Another wrap at the door sounded and he sprung up from his seat, the book he'd been reading before he'd let sleep beat him, falling from his lap. It was late and the urgency of the person on the other side of the door made him convinced that this was a serious matter.

He pulled back the latch and expected to see Brooke or anyone in fact, anyone but _her. _

'Peyton' Concern etched it's way across his sleepy face because she was still dressed in her green gown from the previous night, the dress that had been dancing across his vision as he'd drifted off to sleep. 'What's wrong? What's happened? Why're you-'

'I hate you' She cut him off sharply.

Astounded by her venomous admission, he stood dumbly in the doorway, mouth gaping open.

'I hate you so fucking much' She supported her flustered announcement with a shove to his chest this time. He didn't stop her, instead stumbling submissively back and away from her crazed expression.

She'd spent the whole cab drive here, working out what she was going to say, had a whole speech planned that she'd envisioned having him crumbling to his knees with regret and pleading for her forgiveness but now that she was here all she could come up with was 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you'

He effortlessly grabbed her flailing wrists, stopping the onslaught against his chest.

'What did I do?' He exclaimed, instantly flinching at his blurted question because there were a thousand things he'd done, a thousand reasons for her to hate him but he didn't understand what had fuelled this late night visit, why she'd traipsed all the way here to yell that she hated him.

'What did you do?' She didn't give him time to amend his question. 'What did you fucking do?' Her voice caught, thick with emotion. 'You broke me' His hands released her wrists and he welcomed the return of her thumps to his chest. 'You broke my fucking heart. You broke me. You broke me...' Her bottom lip trembled and he felt sick at the very sight because she was on the brink of tears, because of him. Her watery eyes were quick to ice over into a steely stare, her anger back full force, lips thinned, brow furrowed.

He wanted to apologise but he'd done so what felt like a thousand times already and he felt like saying sorry just wasn't enough anymore. He didn't know how to voice the regret he felt. It was more than frustrating; for someone that's life revolved around writing, he wasn't very good at articulating how he felt at times. He looked down and tried to fathom words that could fix this, that could make her understand.

'I hate you'

He sighed wearily and pinched the bridge of his nose, silently wondering why it hurt just as much every time she said those three little words.

'You know what I really fucking hate? I hate that even when I was in a different fucking country, thousands of miles away, you were still there. Lurking in every little thing I did. I couldn't escape and I can't escape now and I just really fucking wish I'd never met you.'

Something inside him snapped. His lips thinned into a scowl, he was suddenly consumed with agitation, his patience just about shot. He was angry now too. She anticipated his reaction nervously, knew she'd hit a nerve and it thrilled her. She didn't have a clue why, it was a sick game; Her hating him. Her wanting him. Her loving him. Her desire to make him angry. But as he sighed loudly and dragged one hand through his messy hair she found she didn't care one bit how depraved this was.

With an eerie calmness his fingers wrapped tightly around her upper arm and then he hauled her the rest of the way into his apartment and just as quickly as he'd tugged her forward he pushed her back, slamming her back into the door, effectively closing it in the process. She gasped as he reached down beside her and pulled the latch down, the lock clicking into place, signifying her staying.

'Don't fucking say shit like that. You're allowed to be angry. I get it. But when you say crap like that it really pisses me off. You don't mean it'

'Don't tell me what I mean'

'If you wished we'd never met why're you stood here right now? Hm? Because as much as you deny it, you still want this, want us, just as much as I do' He declared.

He was close and she could feel herself flushing under his intense stare.

They were silent for a moment and when he spoke again, his anger was gone.

'What's happened?' His concerned question irritated her, along with his soothing hand that was suddenly rubbing up and down her side. He pushed her hair out of her face; it wasn't as sleekly styled anymore, the pins no longer successfully holding it in place. Her body trembled disloyally under his touch. 'Why're you still in this?' he played with the material at her hip.

She frowned. This was not going to plan at all. How she was suddenly pressed up against the door with him looming over her she wasn't quite sure. She wanted to be in control and at the same time she wanted to give into this. She wanted him. But her stubbornness had her wanting to yell and shout because she'd been up all night reading his god damn book and it was beautiful, in every way and his words were so god damn enthralling and eloquent and she was in it. In every bit of it and he wrote her with such admiration, such love and devotion that the mere thought made her knees tremble. She'd cried, because he got her. He knew her. He knew her better than anyone and not for the life of her did she understand why he couldn't just say what he wrote. And she was so mad. Mad because the last six months had been a mess for apparently no reason and she didn't understand why he'd put her through all that. Mad because Brooke was right; having read every last word in the last twenty four hours, she was ready to forgive him and she hated that. So for now she was mad and was spewing crap to make him mad.

'I've been seeing someone. I went to his after the premiere and I just left, that's why I'm in this still'

He snorted disbelievingly.

'Right' He stared at her with incredulity. 'He can't be that great if you've come here for seconds' She watched uncertainty flicker in his eyes and then doubt had his hand bawling in her untidy hair, angling her head back, his face millimetres from hers. 'You better be fucking bullshitting with me because I swear if you're not-'

'You'll what? What will you do Luke?'

Her eyes twinkled with glee.

He thrust his leg forward, jamming it between her legs to wipe the smugness from her face.

Her mouth opened and it was his turn to smirk. 'Why is it you can't listen to what your body tells you? It knows it belongs to me, why don't you?' He said cockily, pressing his thigh even harder against her, almost forcing her legs off of the ground. She bit her lip, trapping a murmur in her throat; she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. She didn't bother denying his words though because she did know it. She knew it all too well. She looked up at him with hooded eyes as he slowly moved his leg against her and he delighted in the way her eyes were quick to roll back.

'I hate you so much' She exhaled for the hundredth time. He'd got the picture. But this time her words weren't aggressive, it was a husked whisper that hit his face and then her hands grappled up his t-shirt, one fisting in the material there and the other proceeding upward, over the scruff on his chin and around his neck and then she was kissing him. Roughly.

Startled, his eyes widened tenfold. All he could think was that he didn't understand.

He'd been waiting for her to push him away, or a snarky comment. Or yet another I hate you.

Twenty four hours ago sure she'd kissed him but it was only because of him instigating it, she'd never of kissed him, she was too busy trying to hate him, so he had liked to believe. He was starting to think perhaps there was no trying about it, considering her many declarations of hate in the last fifteen minutes, it was clear that she indeed hated him. That was it. But it was hard to resign to that fact when her tongue was sweeping over his and her hands were tugging hard at his hair. He instantly forgot any of his confusion over her sudden willingness. She was kissing him, who the hell cared? His hands found her hips, jerking her against him and then he was kissing her back just as forcefully. His fingers slipped over the silk of her dress, sliding over the slight curve of her behind and the murmur she made throbbed in his groin.

Their lips crashed against each other, tongues twisting together violently as both of them sought control, sought domination.

He'd vowed to himself after Brooke and Julian's engagement weekend that he would't be so forceful with her again. He didn't want to be rough with her but all that had gone out of the window when he'd shoved her back against the door.

He hesitated suddenly. When she'd got here he'd not known what she'd wanted, nor been sure what was about to happen, but he was certain right now that _this_ was going to happen and he wanted to slow it down. Needed to. He didn't want some desperate quickie against the wall. But before he could successfully slow them down she was muttering one word across his lips.

'Bedroom' She panted suddenly, pushing against his shoulders. Unlike him, the speed of their consummation was of vital importance to her. She was done waiting. She wanted quick. She needed him now. She needed to feel him again, to be with him, to affirm that he still wanted her this way. He let her pushing hands guide him back, taking her with him and their lips were quick to reunite.

She was frantic and her desperation was infectious and had them stumbling into the hall table, knocking pictures clattering to the floor. The loud noise didn't stop them though, instead playing as a chorus to their burning passion and it wasn't until they made it into his room that they came up for breath.

He looked at her for a moment and his thoughts were once again consumed with her attire and why she was still in the dress that she'd been in over twenty four hours ago.

'Tell me the truth- why're you still dressed in that?'

She cut him off, forcefully reuniting their lips.

'Peyt hang on-' He held her forearms, keeping her at bay. 'Answer me'

'What does it matter?'

'It matters to me. Are you high?'

'What? No' She frowned. She knew she perhaps looked a little dishevelled but she didn't like that he'd assumed that. That he clearly thought that's what she'd resorted to in their separation. She shook her head, willing herself not to get hung up nor side tracked by his question. 'God what the fuck does it matter. Last night you wanted me to come home with you, here I am, what're you waiting for?'

'I just want this to mean the same thing to you as it does to me'

Her brow furrowed even further in response, eyes skilfully avoiding his. She didn't want to talk. She just wanted this. Now she was thinking and she didn't want to think. She didn't want to think about the ramifications of doing this, she just wanted him. Needed him. Didn't he owe her that much?

'I, last night you said this wouldn't help-'

'Fuck what I said Lucas' She brashly responded, pushing him back, he tripped over his feet, the backs of his legs hitting the mattress, forcing him to sit.

He tried to keep his brain functioning, fathoming out words but it was hard because she was suddenly straddling his lap. Because she was on him and all he could feel was a great sense of jubilation, that and her pressing right against his arousal.

'I don't understand why-'

'Shut up Lucas' She slid her hand between them, smirking as her ministrations effectively cut off his complaints and then she bought her mouth back to his and kissed him slow and gently, taking her time, easing him back in, reminding him of them, or maybe she was reminding herself because he sure as hell didn't need any reminding.

He wanted her. Wanted her naked in his bed where he could tentatively do all the things he'd been thinking about since he'd lost her.

They kissed for a long time and there was a silent understanding, her hands lost in the back of his hair. A silent understanding that they were going to do this. But that didn't stop his questioning.

'Peyton what is this?' He murmured softly, call him insane but he needed to clarify that they were on the same page here. 'Peyt...' He groaned as she yanked his belt through the buckle with a sharp tug, she was making this whole conversing thing really, really hard. 'Not that I...am not loving this but...'

'Don't speak...just...just shut up okay'

Her hands on his shoulders, she pushed herself up to standing and lifted her left foot onto the bed, hoisting the silky fabric of her dress up her leg.

'God...' He licked his lips unconsciously. 'I am really trying to be what you want right now'

'What I want is for you...' She took his hand and dragged it up her revealed leg. '... to take my dress off'

'You said doing this wouldn't help' His eyes were transfixed on the black triangle of material between her thighs that was suddenly looking at him.

'Luke. You grovel. I give in. You turn me down. Seriously?'

His eyes temporarily snapped up to her. 'I'm not turning you down. Never.'

This was different. She was different tonight. The persistent anger that had been glaring so obviously in her eyes since she'd returned was still very much there but she was also just defeated.

And he welcomed that over her anger but he wanted to know the reasoning behind this change.

He stood abruptly, knocking her foot from the bed. She gasped as he spun her around, her back against his chest. 'God six months is too long'

She lent back into him, enjoying his cocooning hug. 'Six months?'

He knew her underlying question. 'No one but you. Sixth months and I really, really need you' He pulled her tight against him to emphasise his arousal. 'How long has it been...for you?'

She tilted her head to look at him. 'Four' She muttered tersely.

'Weeks? Days? Hours?'

'Months Lucas' She admitted softly.

'4 months?' He smiled into her neck.

'What?'

'I just, that's impressive for you. So there was no guy last night huh?'

She broke free of his suffocating hold and turned around. 'You're starting to piss me off'

'You already hate me remember?'

'Mm. I do...Does it bother you?' She looked so young and insecure as she looked down at the floor.

'What? That you hate me?'

'No. That I've been with other people?'

'Yes' He answered quickly.

_G__ood._ She silently thought. She needed to know he was jealous. Needed to know that he didn't want anyone else to have her.

He pushed a fallen strand of hair behind her ear and she looked up into his suddenly dark eyes.

'It makes me fucking crazy but it's unfair for me to be mad at you- you were single'

'I still am'

She watched anger transcend over his features and reached out, cupping his cheek distractingly.

'Peyton. I don't want you to be. And for the record it bothers me that you hate me too'

She pretended that she didn't hear, instead bringing her thumb to his lips and ghosting it over where her mouth reconnected not a moment later.

Her desire for him was like a drug, pumping through her blood.

It wasn't like this with anyone else, of that she was painfully aware. She found it so confusing, to be angry and mad at someone but still crave them all the same. She may have been with other people in the last six months but it didn't feel as if she had because it never felt like this with anyone but him. She fisted his tee in her hand again, tugging him even closer and then she was eagerly pushing it up over his head. He obligingly helped get rid of the offending article of clothing and then his hands glided down her to the curve of her ass, squeezing lightly before lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he walked them backwards to the chest of draws. A few books toppled to the floor as he set her down on the wooden surface and moved closer between her thighs.

There was no hesitation anymore. Not for him. She said she was single. He was going to make her see that she was his.

He pulled the crumpled silk further up her legs but she didn't assist him. Her eyes stayed transfixed on his revealed chest, or more specifically on the vertical line that ran down the centre of his creamy skin. A scar that hadn't been there the last time they'd done this.

It wasn't until he'd located the zip at her side and tugged it down that he became aware of what she was looking at so intently.

'Sorry...I know it's ugly'

Her suddenly glassy eyes jerked up to him and she shook her head vigorously.

'Don't say that' She ran her hand down the scar and her lips followed the same path, tentatively, delicately, lovingly.

He took the opportunity to pull the remaining hair slide out of her styled hair, allowing the trapped tresses of honeyed hair to come completely free, cascading down. He ran his hand through her locks before urging her face back to him.

His lips touched hers again, lightly, with none of the frantic desperation that had fuelled their previous kisses. His top lip barely whispered against her bottom lip before he drew it into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth and then running his tongue soothingly over her swollen skin. His hands ran up her waist, across her ribs, slipping through the gapping hole beneath her arm where the zip was now undone. She murmured as his hand cupped her, his thumb trailing over the lace edging of her bra. She squeezed her legs tight around him in response and he groaned into her mouth, pressing the hard planes of his chest against her. There wasn't enough room. He needed to get closer.

Abruptly, he whirled them around, their lips not parting, and staggered them to the bed.

It was wonderfully dizzying. She blinked as her back was pressed into the mattess. This was better. This is where she longed to be. With his weight pressed against her in every possible way. With his hands leaving a trail of heavenly heat along her skin, a pattern of goose-bumps forming in their wake.

'Okay this fucking thing has to come off' He grunted.

She panted as she looked down at herself; he'd managed to get one strap of her dress down her arm, revealing one half of her bra, whilst the rest of the creased, green fabric was rucked up and twisted high around her waist.

She threw her hands up over her head and arched her back off the bed, allowing his larger hands to easily slide the slippery material up the rest of her slender body.

He tossed it over his shoulder and then he was looking down at her and her legs tried to pull him back down on top of her but her attempts were feeble against his stronger, sculpted body.

'Luke' She complained. The tension in the room was almost unbearable and he was taking too long for her liking.

'You're so beautiful' His thumbs slid along the taut skin of her stomach, skimming the edge of her underwear before slipping behind the waistband. She lifted her hips up, allowing him to slip the lacy undergarments down her legs, so her bottom half was bare before him, the sight almost unravelling him.

He groaned, his pants were suddenly more than painful and felt about two sizes too small. Greedily, he ran his hands over her thighs, the soft skin like silk under his fingertips.

'Lu-cus' She growled impatiently. Her toes dipped into the back of his pants, trying to get them down.

'What's wrong baby?' He settled his weight back against her and moved her tampering hands away from his trousers, instead holding her wrists to her sides.

'Don't be a jerk' She pushed the tips of her feet against the flesh of his ass assertively, craving some friction.

He drew in a breath sharply but succumbed, allowing his lower half to press against her completely. 'I'm not. I just want to take this slow'

She huffed, flinging her head back in exasperation. He smiled and kissed along her inviting jaw line as she wriggled beneath him, his eyes soon flickering to her chest as she thrust it up toward him enticingly and his hand instantly migrated around her, under her arched back, undoing the clasp of her bra. She did the rest, slipping the straps down her arms. His gaze sprang back up to her face as a light laugh fell from her lips at his expression. He loved that sound. She loved that expression, it never got old. She didn't understand why he still looked like he was seeing her naked for the first time.

'Shh' He reprimanded her teasing laughter 'I missed these'

'Yeah, well there's not a look but don't touch rule' She rolled her eyes.

A low groan worked its way up from deep within his chest and formed her name as it escaped his mouth.

His heart fluttered with excitement. His hands moved to her breasts and revelled in their softness and then his head dipped, his mouth following the path of his attentive fingers, the sounds that were quick to emit from her, spurred him on. She pushed her hips up towards his only to realise that he was still wearing his freaking pants.

Preoccupied, he didn't stop her this time as her hands assisted her feet in pushing his pants down.

She smiled at him in success and looked one part cute and two parts sexy as he looked up at her.

'I love you'

Her jubilation over getting his pants down was quick to dematerialise and her smile vanished at his profession, her body freezing beneath him.

He watched it happen. Watched the lightness leave her eyes and her body become rigid and unwelcoming as though she were suddenly under attack.

'Don't you dare say that to me' She mustered. He swallowed thickly, panic rising in his chest. With haste he lent up, cradling her head in his hands.

'Peyton-'

'Don't say that if you don't mean it Lucas'

'I love you' He said absolutely.

She put her hand over her eyes. The mixture of lust and grief unfurled deep in her veins making her face burn with confusion. 'I want to hate you so fucking much'

'But you can't?' He removed her hand from her face but her eyes remained closed.

'Every time I look at you, I just want to be in your arms. I just want you to love me.'

'I love you'

He wanted the doubt to be gone from her eyes.

'Don't hurt me Luke. God don't ever hurt me again. If you break my heart again Lucas Scott I swear to god I'll kill you'

He shook his head and grinned because this felt like forgiveness or at least the beginning of her forgiveness and if she hadn't been so serious she'd have laughed at his face.

'Never. I'm so sorry' He kissed her nose, cheeks, forehead, chin, pushed her hair back and then finally angled his face to hers, sliding their lips together, tongues tangling. She bit down on his bottom lip as she kissed him back.

Her hand reached up and ran through his hair then scraped down his back, nails digging into his skin, leaving her mark and he welcomed it. Because he was hers, she his.

'I swear if you do-'

'Never baby...you believed me so easily, didn't you know I was lying?' He held her hands. 'Peyton I love you, how could I not?'

Everything was suddenly amplified.

She nodded once. Curtly and then she was running her foot up and down the back of his thigh, trying her best to dismiss the tear that had rolled down her cheek. The pad of his thumb brushed it away.

'I'm so sorry'

She knew he was and quite frankly right now she didn't give a damn either way because he could take her somewhere else completely.

He lifted her leg higher over his hip and pressed his forehead against hers.

He moved forward slowly, watching her face intently. She scrunched her eyes shut and his arms shook with the effort of keeping control of his body. Her mouth shaped itself into a perfect O and she let out a shaky breath as he moved into her completely.

'Oh, my god' She breathed, her head lolling back.

'You okay?' He thought perhaps this was the longest she'd gone without sex, not that he was about to bring light to that but it was making him acutely aware of his every move.

'Mm...so good'

He smiled and moved his head down and nipped at her earlobe 'I'm not going to last long Peyt'

'Neither'

A shiver of pleasure rippled through her and urgency consumed her once again. She moved her hips up to meet him and he met her movements slowly, then building in intensity.

There'd been so many times when she'd felt as though there wasn't an inch of space left between them, especially when they were like this, as cliched as it sounded, she felt like they were one. But she'd doubted that deep connection, denied it over the recent months. But right then as he slowly moved inside her, kissed her, pressed into her, their eyes not leaving each other, nothing compared to it. She savoured this feeling, a feeling she'd thought she'd never have again, a feeling of wholeness, a feeling of wholeness that only he could give her.

The hot coil of tension low in her belly expanded through her limbs, her breath heavy on his cheek. Everything heightened, and just when it felt like things couldn't go any higher, he felt her tightening around him. An indescribable euphoria pulsed through his body, whiting out his vision. He felt as if he'd been skyrocketed to somewhere far beyond the walls of his room.

Her exhale of his name, echoing softly in his ear brought him back down to earth. She unconsciously traced her finger down the scar on his chest, making him shiver.

He looked into her face, her eyes closed, blissfully relaxed and he wanted it again. Wanted to see her fall apart again. Wanted to take it all in this time.

Her breath slowly evened out and he knew she was moments from drifting into a sated sleep but he wasn't ready yet. Not yet.

Her eyes flickered open as he gently manoeuvred her precious leg, lifting it and resting it on his shoulder. 'What're you...' She trailed off as his intentions became apparent and he began to kiss up her thigh. 'Oh my god. I can't. No more' She panted breathlessly. The dance they'd been dancing for the past few weeks and anticipation over their reconciliation left her completely warn out from their coupling.

'Yes you can'

'Are you trying to kill me?' She exclaimed, sitting up as best she could. She felt exhausted both mentally. Emotionally. Physically. And her eyelids felt heavy.

His breath tickled her thigh as he grinned. 'No baby. Just lay back' He coaxed her back and held her hand to her rising and falling belly.

'Seriously I'm too tire-' She gasped, his tongue effectively ceasing her words. Her hips automatically jerked up.

'You were saying?'

'Don't stop' Her fingers knotted in his hair.

She silently wondered if it were possible to die from overload of pleasure. She wondered why the hell she hadn't given into him sooner. She wondered how his tongue could do whatever the hell it was doing right in that moment because she was seeing stars.

And the fact that he was even doing this was some absolution in itself in her mind. Because anyone else, anyone else that ever wanted her was never interested in this. They were only ever interested in using her to get themselves off. But Lucas, the way he appeared to just gain pleasure from satisfying her was astounding and bewildering to her because she'd never experienced being desired in that way, not until him. And it overwhelmed her even more now than it ever had before.

She felt tears prickle her eyes.

It didn't take long. She clung to his hand at her belly and could feel her stomach muscles tighten beneath their entwined fingers and a fire rippled through her, her skin flushing with heat. Her legs shook under the strain and then in a flash her body seized, encompassed in shivering heat as her release rippled through her.

He was hypnotised by her as he looked up at her; the way her head was tilted right back, her chin pointed to the ceiling, the way her mouth was slightly open, the way her brow was slightly furrowed over the jade depths that seemed to reach right to her soul. And he memorised it all, drank her in completely.

She felt like jelly as he crawled up her side, draped his arm over her and scooted in close so her side was pressed against the length of his front, his head resting beside hers.

'I will never understand how you're so good at that...it's like you're fucking inhuman or something' She muttered.

He smirked because he knew she was completely unaware of the words slurring from her mouth. 'Are you saying I'm somewhat godly Peyton Wolf?'

She opened her eyes, realising her mistake. Now he was going to be smug for life.

'No. You're a jerk'

'A jerk that just rocked your world?' He kissed her head.

'You want me to return the favour?' She responded wearily.

'No' He was hasty to answer. 'No. I wasn't hinting for that'

'I don't mind-'

'No. It was about you' Her heart fluttered. 'For you. I don't want you to' He kissed her head again. 'I just want to hold you' She curled into him obligingly, sliding her leg over his.

'I read your book Luke' Her voice barely carried but he heard. He pulled back, brow creased and then he understood. Understood why she'd still been in that green gown. Understood what had governed this late night visit. 'She is me right? The girl. She's me? Because if she's not then-'

'Of course she's you!' He cut her off. 'How on earth did you get your hands on- Brooke' He shook his head with a small smile. 'Of course she let you see'

'You don't mind do you?' She was suddenly sheepish.

'No. If I'd known that's all it would've taken to get you in my bed then-' She hit him and he bit his tongue realising perhaps it wasn't time for joking quite yet. 'Of course she's you Peyton'

'How- the things you wrote...how do you know, know things, know the way I think when I, I haven't told you, it's like, it's like I needn't speak, like you know anyway'

'I know you' He said simply. 'I know you so very completely'

'I wish you'd say the things you write'

'It's easier for me to write than speak apparently' He admitted. 'In the book she, she forgives him for being a fool'

'He's a fool but he only hurt her through loving her' She softly conceded. 'Through trying to protect her'

'So you think she's right in forgiving him?' He fiddled with her fingers, waiting with baited breath.

'I love you' She confessed abruptly in way of answering his underlying question. And it felt good, felt good to say, felt good to get off of her chest. She looked up at him.

Relief had never felt so good and he revelled in the way it rippled through him.

'I love you' He echoed. 'So much' He pressed his forehead to hers and smiled. 'So much'

She closed her eyes contently and clung onto him and felt strangely liberated and for the first time in nearly forty eight hours she gave into sleep.

* * *

He woke up suddenly when his arm splayed out into the empty spot beside him.

A dull light came through the blinds making lines on the wall and he squinted.

She was sat on the edge of the bed, her bra back on and her dress bawled at her side and panic flared in his chest. He didn't want her to get dressed and leave. Couldn't bare that, not after the last few hours spent together. She couldn't say this didn't mean anything, not after that. He didn't want them to go back to that awkward stage where this was just sex and her slipping out right now, before it was barely light made it feel cheap somehow.

She stood up suddenly and he watched her slide her panties up her legs and then she was turning to retrieve her crumpled gown. She'd awoken when he'd unconsciously pulled her closer to him and she'd suddenly started thinking and thinking never seemed to be good with her because her whirlwind mind had then governed her to get out of the bed and go in search of her clothes, despite her exhaustion and desire to stay very much put.

'Stay' His word startled her, alarmed green eyes jerking to him. 'What're you doing?' His voice was scratchy with sleep and a hand rubbed across his eyes as he tried to focus on her.

She said nothing and he struggled to read her startled expression in the dull light.

'C'mon,' He urged her. 'Come back to bed'

'Luke' She finally murmured, her clothes falling to the floor, forgotten.

He reached out, firmly taking her wrist and tugging until she was leaning across him.

'Come back here' He kissed her lips.

She didn't say anything, but her body succumbed, melting into his embrace. The tips of her long golden hair tickled against his chest as his arm went around her, cementing her to him.

'Were you going to leave?'

'I don't know...maybe'

'Without saying anything?'

She pushed away from him suddenly 'I...I'm still...I'm confused' Her fingers pushed her tresses away from from her face in annoyance.

'Hey. Don't do that' He followed her to sit upright. 'Don't pull away from me' He pulled her back into his chest and laid back down. She didn't pull away. He exhaled heavily. 'Peyton I know, I know this has been a mess, that I made this a mess but don't dismiss last night. Don't dismiss it because I'd die if you thought that that, that it was anything other than love. And the words we said, don't dismiss them as false. Don't'

'I know they weren't Luke'

'Well you said you love me'

'I do'

'Then why're you getting up and trying to leave?'

'Because if I leave then you don't get to fucking leave me!' She exclaimed, hitting his side.

Startled, his grip slackened around her and he craned his neck to look down at her. 'I'm not going anywhere. This is my apartment' He didn't know if to laugh or shout at her.

'Okay. If I leave you don't get to tell me to go' She reworded.

He fiercely grappled at her face, jerking her chin so he could look her in the eye. 'I'll never ask you to leave. I'll never leave. Never again. I love you Peyton. I'll tell you that everyday, every hour if that's what you need just, just please believe me. I thought, I thought I'd made you understand my feelings-'

'I do, I did. I mean I think I do and then I just think about the last six months and I start doubting everything. You, you didn't want me. And I understood. Because it doesn't make sense, you shouldn't want me and now I can't...I don't, I'm not-'

'Why can't you see how amazing you are?' It made him angry that she clearly thought so little of herself and his anguish was clear in his tone. 'Peyton. How could anyone not want you? You're delusional, for someone who's career so far has been wrapped up in your looks, for you to be so uncertain-'

'Beauty is inside Lucas. I know that, I'm not that vain'

He smiled. 'Right. And you are beautiful inside, and out and the thing about loving you, I still do even if you're being an utter bitch' He pulled her back to him. 'Baby I know this is my fault, I know I made you trust me and then just eradicated that trust in all of five seconds but that, that's the only time I've not been honest with you. Ever. And I'm being honest now when I say it'll never happen again. Never and I'll spend the rest of our lives proving that to you'

She was quiet for a long moment and then sat back up. 'Okay. So we're being honest with each other right?'

'Right'

'So...there was another reason I went away and left New York'

'...okay?' He watched her carefully through squinted eyes.

'I ignored it for ages. I think I was in denial or something but I knew I couldn't keep ignoring it. I knew I had to make a decision. I wanted to make a decision before I went to see a Doctor' She wrung her hands together anxiously.

'Peyton what are you talking about?' He swallowed thickly.

She stood up suddenly and turned away from him. 'I...I thought I was pregnant'

His jaw opened wide, all words getting lost under the weight of her statement because that's the last thing he expected to hear. Ever.

She didn't dare even peek over his shoulder because she feared what she'd see.

'Weren't you on the pill?' His voice finally muttered.

'Yes...but apparently you can still...sometimes. I don't know, it's not that common but you can still-'

'Was it mine?'

She turned around at his question, her face indignant. 'Of course it would've been yours. I...I always use protection with fucking strangers-'

'Condoms aren't always effective and I seem to remember we didn't the first time we-'

'You're different' Her hands flailed expressively in front of her. 'Everything I've ever said or done with you is different. I know that they aren't always full proof but I'd noticed I was late the night before you broke up with me anyway...' She ran her hand through her hair, silently wishing she hadn't bought this up right now. 'I don't know why I'm talking about this'

He threw the bedsheet off of him and she would have laughed had the subject at hand not been so serious because he was suddenly standing before her completely naked and he was pissed off and it was that look, the look he donned that successfully killed the mild amusement that had temporarily flared in her chest, instead she instinctively wanted to turn away again, wanted to run from that intense stare.

He walked around the bed in three steps to where she was stood.

'Because I have a fucking right to know' He exclaimed suddenly, stopping her from spinning away from him. 'You said you wanted to make a decision' He understood what that had meant. Understood too well, she meant she'd wanted to decide whether to keep it or not and the thought made him feel sick. Because he had strong convictions on the matter and was more than opposed to the idea of an abortion. 'You made a decision. To get rid of our child?' She'd never seen the look that followed on his face. It was outrage. Anger. Grief. All mixed into one.

She opened her mouth but his tight grip on her forearms startled her.

'You didn't have the right to make that decision without me. That was my child too. Mine-'

'But you wouldn't have been the one raising it would you Luke? You'd pushed me away. Said you didn't want me. I would of been a single mother-'

'That's not true. I would've been there for you and the baby. Every step'

'Lucas!' She exclaimed angrily. 'You told me you didn't want to see me. You made me think you didn't want me. I thought you never wanted to see me again, was it so wrong for me to assume you'd want nothing to do with a child-'

'This is different! I only said all that shit because I didn't want you to deal with the grief of me dying, we've been through this!' He felt as though they were constantly going round in circles.

'Yes, well surely if that were the case you wouldn't have wanted an innocent child to loose a father, surely that would've been unfair. For you to have been in it's life. It's fucked up- you're saying you didn't want me but you'd have been ready to jump into parenthood'

He pressed his hand against his temple. He was getting a headache. 'Peyton' He sighed wearily. He understood her reasoning. 'I...right...you were right to think that, I gave you every reason to think all that I know but...I, I had a right to know too' He muttered lamely. 'I...I can't believe...'

'I didn't get rid of it. I wasn't going to. Before I went to the doctors I'd made a decision. I'd decided to have it. Even if I was going to fail miserably at being a Mother, I couldn't get rid of it because I'd decided if I couldn't have you at least I could have a part of you with me and I know that's selfish but I couldn't destroy something that you and me made. I couldn't, but turns out no child even existed...the missed period...the sickness I was feeling...the doctor's think it was probably stress related'

He swallowed thickly.

'You weren't pregnant'

'No'

He felt as though the torrents of emotion that had just been inflicted upon him was somewhat ridiculous in retrospect; he was angry and upset over something that had never even existed.

'Why did you just tell me all that?' He felt drained and suddenly guilty for the immense anger he'd temporarily felt toward her.

'Because. Because don't you see? I, I wouldn't of kept it. Not if it wasn't yours. There's no way. I'd be a shit Mother. I can barely take care of myself, I'm constantly fucking things up but you, knowing it would be yours, I was ready to go ahead and fuck up a poor innocent little child-'

'You wouldn't of fucked it up. Peyton when the time comes you're going to be an amazing Mother. I wish you could see what I see so clearly. I wish you could see how amazing you are' He announced certainly for the second time that night.

Her cheeks grew rose tinted and she shook her head slightly. 'I told you because I wanted you to see that I don't hate you. That I could never hate you. That you're the only person I've ever really wanted this way that I'm so, so fucking possessed that I decided I'd have your child, something I'm in no fucking way ready for, nor do I think I can ever be'

He smiled. 'Baby-'

'That terrifies me Luke, that you, you have this hold over me and I wish you didn't. But at the same time I, I now know what I didn't before'

'What's that?' The pad of his thumb brushed over her lips.

'I'm not dependent on you. I can still be, without you. Albeit I'd rather fucking not but I can. I can be the person you showed me to be with or without you- I mean sure I wasn't all that wonderful when you ended it but I got better and I realised I can be that person without you I'd just, I'd rather be it with you' She rambled, her nose screwed up as she became certain she was being nonsensical. He understood though, he always understood her.

'You were always that person Peyt you just, you'd lost sight of her. You've got me. For as long as you'll have me' He held her hands. 'God I'm so sorry you went through that by yourself. That you dealt with that, I can't imagine...' He swallowed thickly, feeling impossibly guilty for yet more suffering that he'd seemingly been responsible for putting her through. 'Did you tell Brooke?'

'No. No one'

'Peyton' He sighed regrettably. 'I'm so-'

'Sorry' She smiled wearily. 'I know'

'Com'ere' He walked them back to the bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard. She followed, straddling his lap and curling herself around him. His hand stroked up and down her back and she knew she'd never feel as safe as she did when she was in his arms.

'Is your heart okay?' Her hand rested against it, reassured by the steady beat beneath her fingertips.

'I had a check up last week. Doctor said everything looks shipshape'

She smiled against his shoulder. 'Thank god'

'Mm. You're stuck with me it would seem'

She lifted her head. 'Luke'

'Yes?'

'If you, you'd died. I would've...I would've too. It didn't mean anything that you'd ended it. It didn't stop me loving you.'

'I know that now' He kissed her forehead.

'When Brooke told me about the transplant' She shook her head, remembering the immense emotional roller-coaster her body had suffered.

'Sh. I know'

'I'm so tired' She muttered.

He gently pushed her head back to his shoulder.

'You can sleep. I'm not going anywhere' He slid them back down to laying and pulled the sheet over her back. 'I'll be here when you wake up'

She was quick to give in and her steady breathing was a choir to his ears. He didn't sleep though. Couldn't because he couldn't stop thinking about all the things she'd divulged and he was overwhelmed because he wanted that with her; A baby. A family. Their whole lives spent together and he was invested in making sure he got just that and hell bent on never loosing her again.


End file.
